MFK: The Wanty, The Certified Fresh, The Black Jesus

I was thinking about saying that I am glad the holiday season is about to end, but in retail, we add 12 days on top of it. As for hotels in a university town, since the people visiting during the break are fewer, they seem to expect more from us. Of course, they will say need.

Is that what the holidays are? Is it a time to play needy, just like Mary and Joseph did?

Most people are easy to deal with, but you do not remember the easy. This is how I rationalized buying "The Predator" over "Mission Impossible: Fallout" after viewing each. "Fallout" is a solid action film that would serve as a perfect way to close the series. It is directed well enough and takes itself seriously enough, but nothing is more exceptional than M:I 1, 3, 4 and 5. It is a great spy flick without the British accent. I already owned three of those and I am not paying more for fifth volume than the sixth to make it all work out.

"The Predator" on the other hand barely holds together and acts like it should have starred Joel, Mike, Jonah, Servo, Crowe, Frank, Max and Kinga. The tacked on ending makes you glad Disney owns the IP and will probably just abandon it. It ends up being so off-the-wall, you end up mesmerized by it. My only mistake with the purchase is doing it digitally, hence, no chance of resell if I watch it enough to get fed up with it.

Sadly, people are out to make you angry when their mad. And when you work for companies that have quite the corporate structure, you can only hope their fellow customers make the comments that you wish you could. If they do not walk away, then they have gone and fucked your Christmas Eve.

"You said I could have this suite, but now you are telling me I can't?!?"

I apologized for the my error and let her know we still have accessible suite:

"My husband and I have different sleep schedule, we need the suite to have a bedroom!"

Upon telling her about suites at our sister hotel:

"Those suites are too tacky. It is insulting."

Upon telling her about rooms at our other sister hotel:

"That place is awful. There is no way I can make another reservation this late for tomorrow."

Upon telling her that I would be happy to get them with a hotel not in our family:

"No, it has to be in this neighborhood. I am disabled and cannot handle the traffic between anywhere else and my 90 year-old mother."

That is when I wanted to bring up the sacrifice their comfort to see death bed mom. When you are the only one working in the building when she is blowing you up for an hour and a half, I am going to take that home with me. And look her up on Facebook hoping that she lives long enough so that when "Main Event of the Dead" makes me famous (email me if you want a treatment), I can leave the world of kissing ass to let the world know of her bitterness...allegedly (thanks Colt Cabana). Having to start the phone tag with a minute long voicemail intro about how calling her number is illegal because I must be a telemarketer makes her extra memorable.

Everybody suddenly needs stuff comes the holidays. It is like they compromised from the end of the return policy till Black Friday, and they have had enough. Literacy is out the window.

"The tag that said 39.99 for the DVD player was where I found this Xbox One."

You ask for credentials, you are harassing them and since that is the first effort they put into the day, you have freaking jinxed them. Their bad day is your responsibility and you deserve all the curse words they offer.

Unless they love Jesus (like handicunt) up there, and they tell you how Jesus would not treat them like that. Jesus would probably try to lecture to them about wasting their money on a tablet instead of giving it to charity, but then they would feel judged. Since he was more likely to be black than white, there calls to the cops about him would be viral gold.

Anything that you are shopping for on Black Friday, you do not need. If you are not a tot waiting on a toy, let us do our job. We will be smiling because we are doing it the way that works best for everyone, not just you.

The only needy that is acceptable is your girlfriend asking you to find a way to get the Syfy channel for the annual "Twilight Zone" marathon despite she could just queue it up on Netflix. Finding a work around so that it will be "the same" is almost like coming up with a Christmas miracle.

As long as the neediness stops at that. What is this telling me I need to blog more than once a week?