Back in 2007, during spring training, a waitress at Richard's in Peoria spoke of the injury to Mark Prior and an injury obtained by Kerry Wood when he slipped getting out of a hot tub.
"We have nothing but Chinadolls in our rotation."
I replied with, "so you go to Bradley and are from Chicago."
"How'd you know?"
Because, and I hope it's not just me, we want to speak optimistically of our team downstate instead of bad mouthing our representatives be it playoff dud Soriano, the Dempster whom I wanted to shank in 2006, or the nip whose bat shut down after the all star break.
After going to game two of the NLDS, my "well, they're just Chicagoans" changed to "what is your problem?"
My observations:
Female fans breaking out the fluffy clothes. Look, this is baseball, on the Northside at that, so there should be nothing at the friendly confines that may emit glitter. I go to the ball park thinking it's October, or dare I say "Cubtober", of 1908. This isn't the catwalk that is the hallways of ICC/or any other community college (be damned boots with fluff around the top). We ain't here to lose pretty, we are here to cheer big.
I will say that the gents in suits made better clothing choices. It fits in with 1908 at least. Still, root root root for the home team. Like the American flag pins, Cubs cuff-links are poor fanhood. This is a baseball game, show your young Republican pride else where.
Folks, you see those "rules of the bleachers" signs and shirts for sale at the souvenir stands, well they should pretty much apply to everything that is Wrigley.
Then there are the stupid fans. Now if a white, Dodgers fan wants to wear his team's jersey and not get the hell beaten out of him, 42 is the only number to wear. Black or white, if I curb you, it's a hate crime.
Otherwise when it comes to 42, don't put in on the back of a 1982 Cubs away jersey and then have the nerve to wear it and not be in black face. It's just insulting to Jackie Robinson and Al Jolson.
Another act of stupidity is drinking all day before the game because it allows the Bartman looking motherfuckers an excuse to try to gain attention. Go Cubs Go...after you leave dick leave.
This leads me to my biggest trouble with Northsiders:
"Knock one out Z, because nobody else is helping you!"
The worst coaches I have are the ones who tell me you are lousy. We are not coaches we are fans. We really have no clue what's going on, so don't bad mouth those who do.
If I'm sitting in a car with a bomb, I am not going to heckle the bomb-defusing robot.
And if you are going to heckle, don't hold back on the obscenities. Dare I say the New Yorkers have it right. Fuckin' A.
Sorry, sorry, heckling is fine as long as the the guy doesn't wear blue or pin stripes.
"Recognize some fucking tradition you illegal doorag whering cocksucker" is a more than appropriate heckle for the postseason's best hitter. Good thing I don't go to WNBA games.
Which reminds me. The Chicago WNBA franchise was giving at Japanese style noisemakers that would quickly be compensated by Cubs personnel. Lou, you wonder why K-Fu ain't hitting when it's important. He's home sick.
The worse thing you can do to a teammate or family member is to be hatefully discouraging. Whenever a coach did that to me in high school, he got a cold stare of what the fuck from me. And I usually got a, "are you okay, I meant this" apology.
And being discouraging even using great lines from Major League to do it doesn't make it right. Look to "Slapshot" for inspiration for your hateful acts (RIP Paul Newman).
Reminds me, I really ought to post my extremely hateful e-mail I sent to a friend about the wrestling business as one of my blogs. After my cat tossing, dog killing, smoking and drinking blogs of course. It'll give me a few more weeks of forced breathing.
It was tough listening to all the bitching at Wrigley. All it did was make Lou's press conference seem redundant.
I just think that all fans, especially the posers that are the White Sox fans, should admire us for more than our endurance and undying loyalty. We have to do everything we can to keep the best players in Chicago until Mark Cuban saves us, so let the friendly confines be friendly.
Who knows, maybe Christopher Lloyd will come to our aid some day? Knowing our luck though, we will get a troublemaker like Andy Kaufman in the outfield, but optimism is what saves us Cubs fans.
The knowledge that there is a next year, is all we need to stay warm at night...that and the free Cubs' blanket I got for filling out a credit card application.
"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens
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