Friday, July 30, 2021

Your Body, Your Choice...To Piss off Nazi Enthusiasts aka Republicans

*Blog post was started on July 27, 2021.

Your Body, Your Choice...To Piss off Nazi Enthusiasts aka Republicans.

The concept for this blog post is a challenging one. Primarily, my challenge will be stretching it out to be long enough. This post will not drop until August 2 at the earliest. This means the navigation on the right hand side will be more compact since it need not mention all of my posts from the previous month. 

I suppose I could go to the Feminist Flag Corp on Facebook for some imagery to fill out this post, but that is kind of giving the game away. With that previous sentence, the sensible thing to do is to dive into the rant.

It is Tuesday, so aside from arguing about Simone Biles taking a mental health day, there has not been too much controversy over the weekend. This probably means I should be doing more with my podcast. Putting out a bonus episode along side editing a curse happy guest kept the world out of my hair.

Without cable television, catching up the news has primarily reading it at work during the first half of my day (Wrestling Inc > ESPN > FiveThirtyEight > Huffington Post > CNN > NBC News). If I hear anything else, it is usually the result of the centrist observing a news article and the conservative (Pardon, libertarian) ranting about it angrily. If they are challenged, their anger increases.

I have to speak in vague terms, but I believe the apparel that they wear to cover their bottom half is ideal in the event of gamma radiation exposure. With that said, I ponder why they are so gun-ho in obtaining a FOID card and then their conceal and carry license. Finding out their fiance has an arsenal does not comfort me. (They have a gun safe that is as big as a whale and its about to set sail, and be shot down).

The process of gun ownership has confused me. You need to obtain a Firearm Ownership Identification card to then own a firearm. How can you be a firearm owner before owning a firearm? Since owning a handgun is a sign of paranoia, I guess it is not hard to get them to ignore the semantics. They can only harness so much brain power.

My coworker fits the voices that Fox News, OAN and Newsmax are showing. I have had the idea for this blog post for about two weeks, but this exchange has inspired me to finally express it.

Centrist: Why is the CDC advocating indoor max-wearing by the vaccinated?

Libertarian: I thought the vaccines worked.

Aspiring Communist with a Bleeding Heart (Lets call him Russ.): They do. You are not going to die if you are vaccinated. It does not mean you cannot be asymptomatic. (I am aware you can get ill, there is a less than 3% chance that you will be hospitalized).

Centrist: It is just so confusing.

Libertarian (Who had COVID nine months ago): The CDC has had no clue from the beginning of the outbreak. They always change their requirements.

Russ sits seething because he does not want to exasperate the libertarian's (If we cannot [and should not] use the noun retard, we should not use lib-er-tard.) ignorant anger.

Libertarian: It is bad enough them acting like Nazi's to get the vaccine and wear masks.

Russ leaves for lunch immediately after.

I am sure I have mentioned that this coworker watches YouTube videos to assure themselves that they are not a racist. Is that stopping them from having time to see the weekly denouncements of Marjorie Taylor-Green? Are people who denounce PC too concerned about the extra time it takes to be not be an asshole? Or can they simply not handle trying to be sensitive to all people at all times?

This can all make a case for critical race theory, but I have yet to come up with the semi-humorous rant to accompany my thoughts about that. When is "The Daily Social-Distancing Show" going to return for me to be inspired.

Trevor Noah's team may deserve the Emmy because they are giving me two hours of content while John Oliver is only providing a half hour. Yes, we know the weekly show allows for better writing (outside of SNL), but we need those laughs that are meant to face fear to be spread out.

It was definitely for the best for me not to blow up at this coworker. Perhaps if I had a larger audience (Is corporate ever going to visit this branch?), making a point would be worth the risk. All I need is someone recording the meltdown. As long as bank functions are not shown, nothing post termination should be considered a civil offense. If only I had friends in Champaign to record it.

The biggest problem with not snapping is that it prevented me from going on the humorous rant. It may fall on loud mouth (This K-WASP would just go on yelling), but I think one coworker would at least want to hear it.

This homophobic (Yes. They need to be assured that Pride Week is bad.) coworker loves to use "My body. My choice." to suggest hypocrisy by the left for placing the blame on the idiots for allowing COVID to thrive. You can call yourself a libertarian, but if I suggest abortion, you are going to freak out that I speak against God's plan.

Libertarianism is not about allowing anyone to responsibly worship or not worship. It is about assuming that you get to make the same decisions as God. I say this because I have had enough libertarians argue with me about the need for a god when it comes to government. My stance is that of Mikhail Bakunin. You cannot allow for a spirit to influence the decisions of men. Their response is, "where else are we going to obtain those values?" Read a fucking issue of "Superman" and tell me where he curses minorities.

Even if it is not about religion, the people who tend to want to pursue abortion are those who cannot afford the mouth to feed. If they still want to have a kid, that is a lack of education or people demonizing them for considering the sensible choice. They are the same assholes who belittle those who take COVID precautions, so their opinion should not matter.

Pardon if I am going to sound a wee bit like Agent Smith from "The Matrix". Humans are a disease. If a poor person has a child, that is a risk to society, just like a coronavirus. If their need for everyone who can to assist them is ignored, they will (Presumptuous, this is satire.) do bad things to society. They will go full Eddie Guerrero on us. Unless they only punk the Republicans and the right wing posers (the true heels in the real world), that is not a good thing. Unless we start teaching critical race theory to abolish the right and their god complex, to survive, why would they care who they lied, cheat, and stole from?

Children are the COVID. Your body, your choice. The only choice is not to put your fellow humans at risk.

Right now, the only right answers are coming from the left. They may not be perfect, but at least they show you care about anyone beyond yourself. We think about how other people will react when we make hard decisions and how it will make them feel about us. To take COVID seriously, how people think of you is secondary to making sure you are doing everything to protect their physical being.

And if you think this is sorry-ass Nazi bullshit that the government trying to protect us is out of their scope of power, think about this. At 18, I had to register for Selective Service. If the government needed to bolster its military to protect their citizens, they can draft men/boys into it. And we cannot bitch about it, which we should because no war since World War II has been about protecting citizens. So quit your bitching and be a fucking patriot. Protect your fellow American.

My apologies if you do not get a "Thank you for your service."

ifunny.co
ifunny.co

Monday, July 26, 2021

NinetyForChill - The #Podcast: Kumite in L.A - Bloodsport and Showdown in Little Tokyo

     

Eva and I bidding this two pack adieu (to Mega Replay in Bloomington)

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 28: Kumite in L.A - "Bloodsport" and "Showdown in Little Tokyo"

(A double feature that provides the meth and sushi girls that the JCVD's film was missing).

Skimble basking in Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Features
Gregory Carl is about to set the podcast world on fire with his upcoming Jean-Claude Van Damme podcast, so he was more than welcomed to talk action movies on this pod. I did not want to tread to much on his expertise, so we talked about what I consider to be the greatest DVD two-pack, "Bloodsport" and "Showdown in Little Tokyo".

I do my best to suggest that these two features are in the same cinematic universe, but the action styles could not be more different. The Cannon Group does their best to provide a realistic tournament fighter feature while "Commando" director Mark L. Lester provides the lite version of the one man army with Dolph Lundgren. "Showdown" also provides the buddy cop dynamic (and takes it to the ultimate extreme) that Forrest Whitaker and Norman Burton lacked in the Van Damme movie.

We go on a few tangents, but what do you expect when you are discussing a "true story" about Frank Dux, the most legitimate conman that I have seen. The most unrelated would be a chat about the limited influence "Joker" will have. There is also some borderline obscene investigation into the relationship that Brandon Lee's second-billed character has with Lundgren's lead.

For a first time meeting, I think Gregory and I hit it off pretty well. Talking about Dux's legitimacy ends up exploring our personalities. As a former fighter, we get to hear me measure up guys while he is satisfied with stories about New Jack and hearing about the importance of Gary Daniels in the movie career of the Ultimate Warrior.


Like the Warrior, NinetyForChill - The Podcast is moving forward with reckless abandon. Next week, 2002's "Stealing Harvard" will be revisited. I remember it being fun, but there just seemed to be something off about the feature. Perhaps its Jason Lee and Tom Green, two perpetual movie supporting actors, attempting to carry a feature.

My scheduled guest seems a little more optimistic about this film's quality. Thankfully, they just want to focus on this feature instead of the limited prime of Green's career. I really appreciate not needing to revisit "Freddy Got Fingered", but I am itching to view "Road Trip" once again. I just love me some Breckin Meyer.


I would not mind being a couples week ahead when it comes to content, so I would love to hear from you with ideas on what to chat about. Frankly, it would be honor to host you and find out about why you offered your incite. Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com with a movie, theme, director, or actor. If you promise to center the topic around movies between 74 and 99 minutes, audio gold should be the product.
 
If you need some suggestions, movies like "Fear of a Black Hat", "UHF" and "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" can make for a great theme. ThePoeticCritic knew that Robert Downey Sr.'s satirical masterpiece, "Putney Swope" fits the pod's time restraints. There are also Tim Burton's early classics "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" and "Beetlejuice". Or we could just focus on movies Danny Elfman scored.
 
I have been asking for weeks for assistance in composing an episode dedicated to vampire features like "The Lost Boys" trilogy, "Near Dark", and the "Underworld" movies. Here is to hoping that this bunch of critiques will stir up some inspiration in my audience to step up and hold off on the garlic. If this is a topic you up for discussing, feel free to send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All I need is a half hour on Zoom to get this done. 
 

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusrussrussthebus07@gmail.com@coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.
 
After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.
 

Thursday, July 22, 2021

Princess Mononoke: Visual Masterpiece sans Giant Blue Smurfs

 *The first draft of the review was originally written in 2009(ish). Hence the "Avatar" joke.

Princess Mononoke: Visual Masterpiece sans Giant Blue Smurfs

Hayao Miyazaki may be the greatest animation director of all time. Coming from anime roots with limited production values, everything he produces/directs is worthwhile and he almost always tops his previous film. With this assumption, it would not be surprising if we all but overlooked the standard set for visual environments in "Princess Mononoke".

After a fallen boar god nearly destroys his village, Ashitaka is cursed for stopping its chaos. No medicine can cure his terminal ailment, so his only hope is to head west to find the Spirit of the Forrest to beg for it to lift him of the burden. On his journey, he learns of the battle between the forest gods and the human settlement of Iron Town.

Each race is fighting for a mountain, and Ashitaka must find a way to make peace between the two races before all of them are destroyed. The key to finding success might be relating to the wolf gods through their adopted human family member, San. Since she was abandoned by her parents as a child so that they could escape the wolves' wrath, she bares no love for any human, but the compassion Ashitaka exhibits may show her a path that does not lead to destruction.

Disney did their best to suppress "Princess Mononoke" from finding success in the states, but with the decline of the quality of their films (at the time), it is good to know that Miyazaki is a household name. Only problem is that his dramas are still generally over looked. (With that said, this feature did not have a talking cat or a humorous animal, so I may see why.)

Perhaps for the sake of anime, it might be better to focus on his tales about children like "Spirited Away" and "Ponyo" than to discuss his feature with intense violence and tentacles. Sad, because I have yet to see a superior artificial environment presented in a cinema. The only flaw with the animation is that the characters themselves are not as vivid, so at times, they may seem out of place.

The story is easy to follow and is wonderfully paced. An animated film having two hours of material was rare at the time (at least stateside), so this film is even grander by having amazing replay value.

To maintain the integrity of the picture, the celebrity voice cast makes it a point to go over the top with their performances leaving the culture and story intact via this translation. If it was not a violent hippie movie, it would have been accessible to nearly any audience.

"Princess Mononoke" is definitely an under appreciated film. It may not be Miyazaki's best, but how long will his latest film hold that title. Missing this film shows a lack of respect to one of animation's most beloved directors. The film shows the range of what Miyazaki can direct and the beauty his animation brings out. It is a must see.

Twitter @ghiblisarchive
Twitter @ghiblisarchive



 

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

GNARLY or LEGIT: Which Men's Doubles World Championship Would You Want?

 *Blog post was started on July 21, 2021.

Money in the Bank 2021

For a guy with a wrestling blog that is dependent on championship changes, Money in the Bank was a pretty disappointing pay-per-view. Of course, being an American wrestling fan, the Peacock feed made it a disappointing experience. I guess I should appreciate the rare feeling of normalcy.

If you want my opinion on the event, the card needed a couple of filler matches to make me dig it before the feed went out. We have been conditioned to feel like any women's match, regardless of stakes, placed after a world title match is for popcorn sake. This left me feeling like the women were being disrespected before the crowd got to them. There was a great story told, but since Becky Lynch is going to end up on Smackdown, putting Rhea Ripley over Charlotte Flair should have been the call. Thankfully, the Money in the Bank cash in worked out for a change.
 
I ended up watching the last half of the Men's Money in the Bank match. The Big E win was something I did not want to see after the Kofi Kingston burial. My hopes were for Matt Riddle to win allowing The New Day to leave for Jacksonville. Regardless, it was such a great match, I thought the night was over and went to producing my latest podcast. After finding out Roman Reigns versus Edge went 35 minutes with three run ins, there were no regrets.

Fans maybe back, but it seems to still the status quo. When Charlotte winning a championship is your main show title drama, that means there was not any. It was kind of a waste of the live crowd then.

As for how all this affects my blog, we know Damien Priest is going to beat Sheamus for the United States Championship. The build for that does not actually need to be there. Why could we not have that to take our mind off Kofi being done dirty again?

A shock Finn Balor victory of the Apollo Crews would have been cool as well. Since NXT was going to be done dirty on Raw with Karion Kross's first loss since joining WWE and NXT, a yellow-brand guy being used well would have allowed us to better handle that blow.

With the lack of championship changes, it does not allow me to fix wrestling's present. Thus, I am going to go back to the past.

Unifying the DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Championship with the DRCW Legit Men's Doubles World Championship

When the DRCW Legit (1990s) Championship was created, I was hoping to start it with up with Haku and Andre, but since TEAM wrestling was prevalent in the tag team ranks at the beginning of the decade, I had no problem waiting 18 months to create the new belt. But with the remnants of the AWA and future Legit Championships incorporating the USWA Tag Team Championships, why not try to create a grander championship?

My initial objection was that it would skip The Colossal Connection. Upon looking back at why I left an 18-month period with no Men's Doubles Championship, Bobby Heenan's guys were the Disgruntled's Real World Tag Team Champions, so their spot in history was secure. Wrestling was better in the terms of the purist during the 1990s, so lets try to fix this instead of what Vince McMahon left us with in 2006.

The 18th DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
NWA World Tag Team Champions
Jimmy Garvin and Michael P.S. Hayes (September 18, 1989 to November 1, 1989)

All you need to see is the Freebirds try to debut their new theme and realize this pairing lacked the authenticity of Hayes and his original partners.

The 19th DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
AWA World Tag Team Champions
Wayne Bloom (Beau Beverly) and Mike Enos (Blake Beverly) (Nov. 1, 1989 to Aug. 11 1990)

Until Vince McMahon bleached their hair, I do not think of them as a team with a capital T.

The 20th DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
AWA World Tag Team Champions
D.J. Peterson and The Trooper (b.k.a. The Patriot) (Aug. 11, 1990 to Jan. 12, 1991)

The American Wrestling Association folded on January 12, 1991.

The 21st DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
NWA/WCW World Tag Team Champions
Ron Simmons and Hacksaw Butch Reed (1/12/91 to 2/24/91)
 
Doom was formed to season the younger Simmons after Reed's single career ran its course. The two also held the Disgruntled's Real World Tag Team Champions.
 
The 22nd DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
USWA World Tag Team Champions
The King Jerry Lawler and Jeff Jarrett (2/24/91 to 3/26/91)

WCW's Freebirds won the WCW titles from Doom and are Disgruntled's Real World Tag Team Champions, but I would rather avoid giving this championship a similar lineage.

The 23rd DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
All Japan Pro Wrestling World Tag Team Champions
Terry Gordy and Dr. Death Steve Williams (3/26/91 to 4/18/91)

At least this gives me a possible way of fixing the 2006 tag team issues. I think of the Miracle Violence Connection as a tag team, but booking wise, it was more about maintaining Dr. Death unbeaten streak. Since they are a team that would make it stateside, I think the championship is essentially an American-style title instead of a Japanese-style set of belts. Especially since they traded the belts with the next team.

The 24th DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
AJPW World Tag Team Champions

The 25th DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
AJPW World Tag Team Champions

The 26th DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
Jeff Jarrett (2) and Robert Fuller (a.k.a. Col. Robert Parker) (7/24/91 to 9/28/91)
 
The legendary Japanese contingent of Toshiaki Kawada and Mitsuharu Misawa would win the belts. Japanese tag teams tend to be hodge podge combinations from my knowledge, but I am not a puroresu expert, so lets keep it on gaijins.
 
The 27th DRCW Gnarly Men's Doubles World Champions:
DRCW's 1st Legit Men's Doubles World Champions
Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko (9/28/91 to 11/19/91)
 

Monday, July 19, 2021

NinetyForChill - The #Podcast: "Spiral" from the Pod of Skimble

    

Skimble wants you to play a podcast


NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 27: Spiral from the Pod of Skimble

(Skimbleshanks likes to emphasize the verb in his name).

@premierefr on PinterestThis is the first podcast that I was waiting for the film's home release to drop. My return to the cinema started with "Spiral: From the Book of Saw". Because I saw the last show in Champaign/Urbana, it did not make much sense to talk about this return to my favorite horror franchise until the DVD and Blu-rays dropped.

When I saw this film, there were only two other people in the theater. This feature was the number one film in the United States at the box office for two week, but still only grossed 35 million. In other words, people were not quite ready to go back to the theaters during, what I hope is, the beginning of the end of the pandemic.

With that statement, I think I have the plot for "Spiral 2". "Saw" works best when it has a message. The pro-socialized medicine tale gave "Saw VI" some extra charm. "Spiral" was ahead of the game when it came to All Cops Are Bad.

With the lack of people getting to the cinema, I feel I am definitely in the minority when it comes to the exposure of the flick. Thus, this podcast will be me just letting you know how I felt about this latest attempt to continue the IP. It is not "Repo: The Genetic Opera", but it has all the qualities that made Darren Lynn Bousman a reliable hand to helm a horror movie.
 
This may be odd for a podcast, but I think that I have avoided letting any spoilers slip. I apologize if you wanted all of the secrets revealed to help motivate you to possibly pick up the Steelbook release. It is a partial effort to allow me to grab one for myself. If it was not for Steelbooks, what is the current point of physical media?

Next week's show is looking promising as we focus on a couple action movies. It will be asked, why did Jean Claude Van Damme get to be the late 80's and early 90's reasonable budget action star instead of Dolph Lundgren.


I would not mind being a couples week ahead when it comes to content, so I would love to hear from you with ideas on what to chat about. Frankly, it would be honor to host you and find out about why you offered your incite. Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com with a movie, theme, director, or actor. If you promise to center the topic around movies between 74 and 99 minutes, audio gold should be the product.
 
If you need some suggestions, movies like "Fear of a Black Hat", "UHF" and "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" can make for a great theme. ThePoeticCritic knew that Robert Downey Sr.'s satirical masterpiece, "Putney Swope" fits the pod's time restraints. There are also Tim Burton's early classics "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" and "Beetlejuice". Or we could just focus on movies Danny Elfman scored.
 
I have been asking for weeks for assistance in composing an episode dedicated to vampire features like "The Lost Boys" trilogy, "Near Dark", and the "Underworld" movies. Here is to hoping that this bunch of critiques will stir up some inspiration in my audience to step up and hold off on the garlic. If this is a topic you up for discussing, feel free to send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All I need is a half hour on Zoom to get this done. 
 

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusrussrussthebus07@gmail.com@coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.
 
After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.
 

G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987): Where the Dwayne Johnson Franchise Should have Went

  *Blog post was started on July 17, 2021.

G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987): Where the Dwayne Johnson Franchise Should have Went

It is going to be interesting to see how this review works out. I prefer to write my reviews the next day (or by the time I finish viewing a feature, that day). The freshness is what I am going for. Too bad we have to do adult things like my job (which currently includes putting nine rolls of quarters by a space heater in hope to dry the paper that my water mug spilled over) and paying bills. Those are not too harsh when it comes to processes since my finances are in a blackish state. Please pardon any sense of appropriation.

And pardon the seemingly unwarranted bullshitting. I was (I guess am. The arguments that colleges should offer art degrees is fine, but my web design career was suppose to be an employable concept in 2002.) a website designer, so the pages on this blog have to be in sync with all the content on the right side. Thus, letting you know where my head is at with every post seems a necessary evil.

Am I evil? Guess I am. With that, it seems I can no longer say that I am just a fan of the art.

It seems I am paying for my vicefulness. My body feels like crap after it turns out that OSF would not allow me to get blood test so that I can offer a guide to whomever ends up being my next primary physician (No more physician assistants!). This meant that my cleanliness was for not, so I attacked about a half a dozen Krispy Kremes the following day and some Kraft Deluxe Mac and Cheese the next night. Christmas is still five months away, so asking my folks to pay for BJJ lessons must wait. The need to be humble over getting invited on a Disney World trip makes asking for anything a task.

If there is anything I am worried about in the now is that my promotion of Woody Allen movies is scaring away repeat guests for NinetyForChill - The Podcast. I suppose I have to respect the principles. And, at least they are not being petty like Michell Whitt over a contextual review. It also make me look at my own morals. Can one encourage revisiting the works of Lenni Rienfenstahl when it was a product of the Nazis?

Are pedophiles any worse than Nazis? Are these two groups equal? I would rather know what makes a sick mind, but if we should be violent towards Nazis (The most important lesson of "The Blues Brothers")...

The truth is, maybe I a just hang about for the arguments. With that said, check out my review for Roman Polanski's "The Ghost Writer". Should I have given the film which suggest that being a war criminal is far more evil than being a bale jumper a chance?

It should not be a legitimate worry. If that guest had listened to some of my podcast in preparation for their appearance, pro Marty Scurll mentions should have expressed my willingness to listen to everything I can about a controversy.

In the meantime, I have been working to line up a guest for an upcoming podcast episode. This party is working on a Jean Claude Van Damme podcast, so action movies maybe the topic. An episode focusing on the best DVD double feature pack ever released, "Bloodsport" and "Showdown in Little Tokyo" is where I am leaning.

But with "Snake Eyes" coming out soon, perhaps I should offer up a chat about the underappreciated/misunderstood G.I. Joe franchise. The two live-action movies do not fit the parameters of my podcast (The films are 118 minutes and 110 minutes), but if we start with the 1987 debut feature, it could warrant an episode.

G.I. Joe: The Movie

After Cobra's attempt to blow up the Statue of Liberty during its centennial celebration was thwarted by G.I. Joe, an American military unit solely dedicated to defeating Cobra, the terrorist group's supreme leader, Serpentor, attempts to remove Cobra Commander from his authority for yet another failure. This "court marshal" has to be placed on hold because when base, the Terror Dome, is attacked by a reptilian humanoid. Cobra Commander leads his lieutenants away from the battle in hopes that the assailant will kill their leader.

When she arrives to confront the head of the snake, Serpentor recalls her from a vision. Pythona informs him that it was not a vision but a memory of his homeland Cobra-La and that his destiny is to lead the people of this hidden land to reclaim the world from homo-sapiens. To do this, they will need to capture the Broadcast Energy Transmitter (BET). This should allow for the transmission of near unlimited amount of energy. Something so valuable is obviously being protected by G.I. Joe.

G.I. Joe's Himalayan security detail for the BET has left the military organization spread thin, so they will be counting on their next class of recruits. Their forces are further exasperated after they capture Serpentor when he led an attack to claim the BET. Despite his arrogance and immaturity, the top prospect seems to be the Green Beret Lt. Falcon. His most defining traits prove to be immediately detrimental as Pythona succeeds in allowing Serpentor to escape. If Falcon was more concerned about his post than trying to woo his ninja co-recruit Jinx, the unit should have prevented this attack.

My notes from the viewing
As a result of his dereliction of duty, a court marshal for Falcon is proposed, but Duke begs for leniency in the process. He believes in Falcon's potential and claims responsibility for the recruit's shortcomings as his older half brother. This leads the tribunal to send Falcon to the Slaughter House, as in Sgt Slaughter, to conclude his training.

Serpentor is returned to Cobra-La where we find out the history of the Cobra organization/civilization, that a group of Joes are being held prisoner after they pursued the retreating Cobras from the BET assault, and that Cobra Commander will answer for his inadequacies. The Cobra-Las are lead by Golobulus and the people have been in hiding since the Ice Age. This hiding came as a result of the rise of mankind and their constant development of technology destroying organic dependent societies.

They have launched a fleet of mushrooms to orbit the planet. With the BET's energy, the shrooms will be allowed to release their spores. These spores will force mankind to return to their ancestors' beast like nature allowing Cobra to finally conquer the world. With the success of Serpentor's escape, the Joes know that their organic weapons are more powerful than anything Cobra had previously thrown at them. The escape also has left the Joes in disarray. Are they even in a position to stop Golobulus's evil plan?

"G.I. Joe: The Movie" was pulled from a theatrical release after children were left disturbed from "The Transformers: The Movie" the prior year. I understand you do not want to scar any more kids, but for those who watched Optimus Prime die in the first act, their brains would be better suited for the insanity of the story about Cobra-La. Regardless, this is 40 miles of bad world no matter the preparation.

Aside from getting Don Johnson and Burgess Meredith to voice our new protagonist and antagonist respectively, who only exist to introduce a new line of toys, no effort was taken to provide the audience with anything worth attaching "The Movie" to. I suppose the musical number to an extended rendition of the TV show theme lets us know that the feature is far grander than the 22-minute shorts, but when it is the same rendition of the song, laziness is the only feeling expressed. If you can afford Don Johnson, surely you can afford Stan Bush.

And this laziness goes beyond not creating any new takes on the material. I thought it was limited to anime features of the time, but virtually all the sound effects are pulled from the "Star Wars" Trilogy. Who would have ever thought that electrified snakes sound exactly like light sabres? The BET is a dead ringer for Palpatine's force lightning.

Obviously the animation is not improved upon or even taken in a new direction. "Transformers" at least made the effort in that department. The earlier film also could hide the blatant 80's racism in toys. I did think that the BET was an attempt to have children associate the acronym with this series instead the television network. No wonder Hasbro toys fell into a lull during the early 90's. With no cold war to distract us from, everything about G.I. Joe is ridiculous.

So the story that would seeming feature elements to soon be used by "Highlander 2" and the "Super Mario Bros." ended up being appropriate. After essentially stopping Cobra from nuking the world at the end of the second live-action movie, ancient aliens are the only thing that can bring new life to this franchise. Is Paramount afraid that the fans would look to this feature and complain about the lack of originality? I think the trolls would be more fascinated making jokes about Sergent Slaughter having a full head of hair (That guy is just full of lies.).

My little brother rented this "G.I. Joe: The Movie" back in the early nineties, and I did not know what to think about it then. That is not great for a kids movie. Add to that experience knowledge of why things do not make sense and you know it totally missed its mark. Then realize that it is a bad movie, and I am reaching for a magnifying glass to go all "Toy Story" Sid on these plastic Real American Heroes.

Do I dare give "My Little Pony: The Movie" a rewatch? Does anyone know if it has the Stan Bush touch imprinted on it.

THE POP EXPOSE ‘The 1987 G.I.Joe Movie’ By Mitchell Smith!
THE POP EXPOSE ‘The 1987 G.I.Joe Movie’ By Mitchell Smith! - Serpentor's Lair


Tuesday, July 13, 2021

The 2005 Men's Doubles Wrestling Scene: A Reason for One WWE Men's Tag Team Championship

*Blog post was started on July 13, 2021.

The 2005 Men's Doubles Wrestling Scene: A Reason for One WWE Men's Tag Team Championship

It has been a tougher week so far. Sunday was England's defeat in the finals of Euro 2020. My biggest issue is that I think teams are now playing to get to penalty shoot outs. I suppose I cannot be too upset because they have at least made penalty taking a strategy thus eliminating luck, but why not give them during the game? Why swallow the whistle because of a "questionable" call determining the result in the prior round?

Twitter may consider themselves lucky that I did not go on a pro Super League rant to get away from the corruption of EUFA and FIFA. This suggests that the world cater to me in terms of entertainment that I can drink to. I doubt I was still conscious two hours after the game concluded. How long will I last after "Money in the Bank" Sunday?

I could go on about the further destruction of my body in an attempt to make my blood work look good Wednesday, but that is a good enough transition to get me talking about wrestling with this post. It seems better than trying to wax nostalgic about Paul Orndorff. There needs to be a WWE DVD about his career. He was one of the greats who never needed a championship and that is an art that is underappreciated.

Then there was his WCW run. He did not need championships there. They just needed more creative booking. I should not be too harsh on Eric Bischoff (It would be another story if it was Bill Watts.) because at least he allows me to recognize Orndorff on this blog. He is one of the few who had the talent to be both a Disgruntled's Real World Tag Team Champion and a DRCW Most Legit Men's Doubles World Champions.

Out of the despair of the past two days, we should have a good wrestling week for bloggers. Sheamus will probably unsuccessfully defend his United States Championship to Damien Priest, so I will have to determine the new DRCW OCHO Championship. In the meantime, lets get back to the Hella Good Men's Doubles World Championship title lineage. Was 2004 a simpler time?

The 17th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
WWE Tag Team Champions
Billy Kidman and Paul London (August 7, 2004 to September 7, 2004)
 
I think we will always remember London best for his team with fellow Texas Wrestling Academy graduate Brian Kendrick. Kidman was the youthful American face of the cruiserweight division. Their tag team was very quick to feud, so their continuity is solely based around their use a the shooting star press.

The 18th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
WWE Tag Team Champions
Kenzo Suzuki and Rene Dupree (9/7/04 to 12/7/04)

The 19th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
WWE Tag Team Champions
Rob Van Dam (2) and Rey Mysterio (December 7, 2004 to January 11, 2005)
 
The 20th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
World Tag Team Champions
William Regal (2) and Eugene (1/11/05 to 1/16/05)
 
Bobby Roode and Eric Young just look to good together with the Team Canada gimmick to call them hodge podge. They even haled from the same country unlike the past three championship combos.

The 21st Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
World Tag Team Champions
Sylvain Grenier and Robert Conway (1/16/05 to 2/4/05)

They were another multi-national team who were also the DRCW Real World Tag Team at the time.

The 22nd Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
World Tag Team Champions
William Regal (3) and Yoshihiro Tajiri (2/4/05 to 5/1/05)

The 23rd Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
ROH World Tag Team Champions
Jimmy Jacobs and B.J. Whitmer (5/1/05 to 7/9/05)

I suppose The Hurricane and Rosey could be considered a doubles unit instead of a tag team, but the tag team was the payoff to the angle. Jacobs and Whitmer had to defeat Samoa Joe and Jay Lethal to win the recently vacated titles (which was taken away from Whitmer's team [Dan Maff was his partner.]). MNM would soon be feuding with a make shift LOD and NWATNA was all about The Naturals vs AMW.
 
The 24th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
World Tag Team Champions
Rosey and The Hurricane (2) (7/9/05 to 9/18/05)

There were not many teams when Ring of Honor was established, but H.C. Loc and Tony DeVito were one as the Carnage Crew.

The 25th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
WWE Tag Team Champions
Animal and Heidenreich (9/18/05 to 10/25/05)
 
If there was ever a combination that should not have been tag team champions...

The 26th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
ROH World Tag Team Champions
Sal Rinauro and Tony Mamaluke (10/25/05 to 12/17/05)
 
MNM won back the WWE championship. Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade seemed attached at the hip. Kudos to them for nailing the matching gimmicks.

The 27th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
WWE Tag Team Champions
Bautista (2) and Rey Mysterio (2) (12/17/05 to 12/27/05)

 
The 28th Hella Good Men's Doubles World Champions:
World Tag Team Champions
Kane (2) and The Big Show (Paul Wight) (Dec. 27, 2005 to April 3, 2006)

This is solely the result of lazy booking. Kane and Big Show were voted into this position on Taboo Tuesday and they would not lose the belts until the emergence of The Spirit Squad. In the meantime, ROH is out to define their tag team division with Austin Aries and Roderick Strong vs. Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero. On Smackdown, a high-flying feud would soon commence between Johnny Nitro and Joey Mercury vs. Brian Kendrick and Paul London. In other words, Vince McMahon is not going to book two titles that he cannot stand.

And that is the end of another Duo's Championship lineage.

America's Most Wanted would not lose the NWA championship to A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels until June 2006, over two months since Mikey, Nicky, Kenny, Johnny and Mitch ended Kane and Show's reign. Aries and Strong would not lose their title to the Kings of Wrestling for another five months. Brian Kendrick and Paul London would not defeat NMN until a month and a half into the Squad's reign.
 
It can be proposed that this title could be picked back up again in November of 2006 under similar circumstances to how Kane and Show ended it. I think we have a definitive end to the Hella Good Men's Doubles World Championship and an appropriate beginning to the next incarnation of the division. Otherwise it is back to the drawing board on trying to warrant one long lineage instead of seven (at the very least).
 
Exercises in Futility: As a Cubs and Newcastle fan for nearly four decades, I can work with that. Trying to fix the lineage sounds easier than late 00's slang.

Monday, July 12, 2021

NinetyForChill The #Podcast: A 2nd Chance to Master the Schwartz and "Spaceballs"

  

Eva the Wise, Eva the Magnificent, Just Plain Eva

NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast

Episode 26: A 2nd Chance to Master the Schwartz and "Spaceballs"

The Schwartz Is Strong with ThePoeticCritic and The Kwazz

https://memegenerator.net

It is difficult to come up with an inclusive title for this podcast when it comes to my guests. I do not know how big a wrestling fan Jessica is. Can I picture her shouting, "I am the Kwazz. And I am Awwwesome!"
?

Others titles I thought of were "Two Women Show the Parody More Respect than Disney Did the IP" or "Two Women Take "Star Wars" by the Schwartz (or Spaceballs)." Those seemed too wordy.

This week on NinetyForChill - The Podcast, Jessica Kwazz from the "Second Chance Movies Podcast" expresses her love for Mel Brook's "Spaceballs" while ThePoeticCritic returns with the history of how this feature became a classic. ThePoeticCritic and I discuss why "Star Wars" was nearly abandoned while Jessica regales us with her admiration of cinema's GREATEST franchise.
 
I did the best to put together the audio Jessica captured (and figure how to do that for myself) from last week. Since my side ended up not getting recorded (I blame being a Verizon customer and their history of not letting us multitask with their phones.), her conversing may sound weird, but her knowledge and articulation get her points across. And of course this geek is not going to exclude "Star Wars" content.

ThePoeticCritic on the other hand is not part of the cult of Lucas, so she provides us with a more balanced look on the history and making sure we know that there was a time where the "Star Wars" IP was just passé. This perception of the product might be why George Lucas would dismiss the criticism of the prequels because "They're kids movies". We also go on to discuss how the parody movie craze maybe remembered in a far fonder light than it should have been.

As for next week's show, I do not currently have that mapped out. It can be kept brief, but after England's defeat on Sunday, a person to converse with to get my mind off of that would be greatly appreciated. Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com with a movie, theme, director, or actor. If you promise to center the topic around movies between 74 and 99 minutes, audio gold should be the product.
 
If you need some suggestions, movies like "Fear of a Black Hat", "UHF" and "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" can make for a great theme. ThePoeticCritic knew that Robert Downey Sr.'s satirical masterpiece, "Putney Swope" fits the pod's time restraints. There are also Tim Burton's early classics "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" and "Beetlejuice". Or we could just focus on movies Danny Elfman scored.

 
I have been asking for weeks for assistance in composing an episode dedicated to vampire features like "The Lost Boys" trilogy, "Near Dark", and the "Underworld" movies. Here is to hoping that this bunch of critiques will stir up some inspiration in my audience to step up and hold off on the garlic. If this is a topic you up for discussing, feel free to send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All I need is a half hour on Zoom to get this done.
 
 
I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusrussrussthebus07@gmail.com@coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.
 
After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.
 

Friday, July 9, 2021

"Vicky Christina Barcelona": Just One More Flick Before I Reassess Woody Allen

"Vicky Christina Barcelona": Just One More Flick Before I Reassess Woody Allen

*Blog post was started on July 9, 2021.

And I should say maybe two after the trailer for Ewan McGregor's collaboration with the auteur was shown before this DVD's feature began. "Trainspotting" is my favorite movie. How much resistance do you expect from me?

It seems like a good point to dive into the review or inevitable "need" to see "Allen v. Farrow", but this is a personal blog and I only get two to three minutes to talk about myself before an episode of "NinetyForChill - The Podcast", provided I do not fuck up the recording. This week will have the "Spaceballs" content I have been promising and it will allow me to figure out my worth as a producer.

I still cannot help but feel bad though that it took a multi-time zone podcast to find out my amateur status. And then of course, the guilt I have to deal with when you send a text message to the guest declaring the episode lost. Jessica Kwazz from "Second Chance Movies" has still been liking and sharing my promotional tweets, but I cannot help but worry if I offended a great guest with a text message. If Mitchell Whitt holds a grudge over a Facebook post promoting "Morbidly Macabre", can I be blamed for a wee bit of paranoia over the impersonal nature of text messaging? Of course, Jessica was a great guest, Mitchell...

There are other items to be paranoid about (That is mentioned in the blog post's title.), but we will work towards that. Was life a lot easier before text messaging and leaving comments? Communication probably was since you could gauge what the other person was saying by how they said it. But that requires confidence in terms of speaking. That is something I did not acquire until I entered professional wrestling. And, I have to acknowledge, that was and is perhaps still something I struggle with. Fortunately for me, there have been few times in the past 15 years that I needed to write that well-worded note with a thorough argument to state my position. In other words, dealing with those who can (or at least think) out talk me has not been an issue.

The nickname that my best friend (who is lacking fur) bestowed to me explains how people see me. Harshside screams impersonal. People do not seem to like to hear things as they are without an immediate chance to argue them. They especially dislike the people the people who deliver such messages. It is so much easier for 75 million America to cheer on the guy who loudly and simply tells them to blame the messenger. If only there were more elegant harsh people.

In other words, this country really needs to start focusing on the arts. I know it is Un-American to take a page out of the Old World's playbook, but lets get to the point where we are not encouraging the subpar with sports aspirations are not at the top level come high school. If there is one of the undisputed wrong things my parents did, it was allowing me to keep playing baseball when my arms were designed for softball. It is pretty much known that the lessons gained through speech and acting courses can help you more in the real world than being one with aspirations of bringing football home.

And this would help the professional wrestling business. Those who still like to keep their bodies in peak form (and appreciate a bit of the ultra-violence) will have a robust skill set.

But more importantly, we would have more creators and artists (like the fictional ones in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"). This means we will have more people to learn from. That means we will not have to "reluctantly" watch features written and directed by Woody Allen as inspiration for brilliant dialogue and characters that the creators seems to know oh so well.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)

Vicky is completing her masters in Catalonian culture after developing a love for the architecture of Gaudi. This should be easy to complete after her aunt and uncle who live in Barcelona invite her to stay the summer at their home. To assure that she will have someone who speaks English, her impulsive and bohemian best friend Cristina is invited as well.

When you compare the two friends, their wants are the complete opposite. Vicky has a well-off fiance back in New York. Her life maybe paint by numbers, but she is happy. Cristina on the other hand wants to express herself but does not know the means and does not know who can love and appreciate her for that. This may change after they are invited by the charismatic Spanish painter Juan Antonio to fly to the island of Oviedo for sight-seeing and passion.

Cristina can not be told no when it comes to an impromptu adventures, so Vicky reluctantly joins her to, in essence, protect her from a strange artist who is best known for the exploits of his fiery and violent marriage to the beautiful Maria Elena. The stories and sites are fun, but Vicky is keeping her distance. Unfortunately, her best friend's ulcer flares up and leaves Juan Antonio to entertain her for the remainder of the weekend. The Spaniard's charms get the best of her, but at best, a possible fling can only last to the end of the summer.

Everything seems to be fine after this weekend, but destiny decides to throw some variables their way. Cristina and Juan Antonio seem content shacking up together, but having failed to make a name for herself in Madrid, a volatile and suicidal Maria Elena returns to stay at their home. Vicky's life receives and upheaval when her fiance decides that they should get married in Barcelona. Our two protagonists have suddenly found themselves stuck in lives revolving around passion. Is this something they will embrace or will they just presume it is too good to be true.

"Vicky Cristina Barcelona" feels like a fish out of water version of "Annie Hall" which I would consider to be a great compliment. The performances are masterful and Allen delivers on dialogue and scenarios. There are mad cap elements that are quite reminiscent of early 70's work while maintaining the yearning for escapism that all of his post-Oscar features center around. This is a Woody Allen film for Woody Allen fans.

With this being a film for his fans, they are the audience that will be comfortable with the same story being told over and over again. The story feels relatable and grounded in reality, so fans, like myself, will find themselves open to all the ideas being expressed. We will also find ourselves accepting that reality eventually shows back up, but it only makes us further enjoy the escape.

If you are not in love with Allen's ability as a wordsmith, after 30 years since his transition to a sense of seriousness, this may come across as pretentious. And I cannot say that those who think that are wrong. Everyone of his features seems like a veil allegory of his life. He changes the scenarios, but they all follow the same formula. For me, as a struggling artist looking for a voice, Scarlett Johansson, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz tell a story that I love and see myself wanting to be a part of.

Perhaps Rebecca Hall's Vicky is Allen expressing how his detractors yearn for the freedom the artists have instead of security. Allen is telling them they want something different and they will regret not pursuing it. Sadly, with all the questions and hearsay surrounding his life, he may not be in a position to tell us that. Involving cleverly shot sex scenes and gun play are not going to make them look pass his alleged indiscretions and their judgements. I will credit Allen for trying to use those elements in that way. Maybe I will reclaim them in a rewrite for my z-budget, pro-wrestling, zom-com "Main Event of the Dead" (Please send any requests for a script treatment or advice on how to advance the production of this feature to russthebus07@gmail.com.). If you give this feature a chance, you will understand how the art of the deranged mind can greatly influence those who appreciate it.

"Vicky Cristina Barcelona" may have been told tens of times previously by Woody Allen, but his cast and script make this experience a worthwhile one. If we watch reboots by directors who are trying to tell someones else's story, why not watch a re-imagining directly from the source. This indicates that you have to love Allen's scripts and the playfulness that he always brings. Any prejudice towards him or apparent lack of originality may spoil a viewing of this for you.

5 Reasons I'm Still Taking Style Lessons From Vicky Cristina Barcelona
5 Reasons I'm Still Taking Style Lessons From Vicky Cristina Barcelona