Fantasy Booking: No Holds Barred - The Survivor Series Match

Am I actually breaking news here? I have not seen Wrestlezone.com make note of it, neither has any of the five wrestling podcast that I listen to. The "Wrestling Observer Newsletter" (www.f4wonline.com) must really be the premier news website.

Maybe they could use a designer who is an expert in usability (please excuse the slight hiccup)?

The WWE Network is utilizing the TV-MA rating, thus, if you watch ECW Cyberslam 96, you can hear Brian Pillman call Eric Bischoff a "Fucking Piece of Shit!" And I had to pay 90.00 to get this memory while everyone else got it for free this month. Of course, they probably wouldn't look for it. I know @rosenbergradio doesn't consider ECW to be an important part of the Monday Night War since he doesn't feel let down not hearing "Natural Born Killas" by Dr. Dre and Ice Cube during a New Jack match.

Truthfully, I had already paid $30.00, 14 years ago, to get this Easter egg on the Pioneer DVD release of "ECW Path of Destruction." At least my subscription to the network means I no longer have to look up the button combination to get to the clip.

So hale to the IWC and Podcast world. If WWE doesn't know what or how to advertise they're future, nor should we.

Speaking of the Podcast world, the "Wrestling Compadre Slamcast" decided that the best way to have fun with Survivor Series week was by coming up with their fantasy Survivor Series teams. It's a fun exercise, but it reminds me why I think the pinnacle of video gaming ended with the cartridge. The annual WWE releases weren't a reminder that wrestling was better before the monopoly was established. Thus, players are led to be more concerned about combining the few stars they followed on the indies with their heroes from the first 16 Wrestlemanias. Or to just live through the great stories over again, only needing to get past the feel of dubbed films from Hong Kong.

Their teams feature no context, since the squads are comprised of competitors from all 28 Survivor Series pay-per-views. Thus, they can't really be fantasy booked. It is up to the best button smasher to determine how the three-way Survivor Series would work out.

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CM Punk: The Seeds for a No Holds Barred Remake

With the announcement that CM Punk will be writing for the "Thor" comic books, I was kind of confused. It's one of those, "I guess it can work, but I don't know why it should moment."

The Second City Saint has only wrestled. We are all aware of his fandom for comic books, but had he ever done anything to indicate that he aspired to write for them. The WWE's documentary "CM Punk: Best in the World" focused on his love for punk rock. "ROH Straight Shootin' Series: CM Punk and Colt Cabana," made no mention of his literary (Time Magazine listed "Watchmen" in the top 100 of important literature since the magazine's inception) intentions. Of course Cabana's not a comic book guy, so maybe they were mentioned in the shoot interview with Samoa Joe. At least I'll have something to write about next week.

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No Holds Barred: Kubrick-ian Evidence that CENA SUCKS!

"@MainEventZombie So well thought out!! (u gave your NHB blog so much more brain power than that film deserved) #Dookie"--The Wrestling Compadres Twitter Account.

Too bad last week's blog got most of it's view before I cleaned it up to send a request out on Monday using #RAW. If they find out at the day job, I may be out of the copywriter gig. Not to say that would be a bad thing. Give me a raise now or at least make it as alcoholic friendly as it is on AMC.

Thinking about having permission to drink at my advertising job makes me wonder how anything got done in the "Mad Men" era. Then I realize that political correctness wasn't prevalent until the Cold War ended, and you think back to some of that advertising out of Sterling Cooper, alcohol allowed them creative freedom or at least the freedom to not be sensitive to the public.

So yes @WrestlingBuds, I have a tendency to put too much brain power into the irreverent. If that doesn't qualify me from hosting or being involved with a podcast, what will. If I can only find the clip of the promo where Austin Aries shoves me into a women's bathroom to solidify my credentials with the Nerdist Wrestling Experts (AAW Final Four 2008).

Guess I'll have to continue focusing "No Holds Barred" to keep it fresh in their minds, so that I shan't be forgotten when the "The Wrestling Compadres Slamcast" finally present their episode dedicated to the first Hulk Hogan billed feature.

What if "No Holds Barred" actually had stars?

This isn't a shot at Kurt Fuller, but if you look at his career, he was always a go-to lackey for the main villain. Maybe he should have been cast in the recent DirecTV commercials as the less attractive or painfully awkward Rob Lowe (can't knock "Wayne's World"). I've heard Lowe is awful to work with, and he's taking jobs away on top of that.

Regardless of what Fuller tends to be cast in, 1989 was supposed to be his breakout year since he was also in "Ghostbusters II." The same goes for Joan Severance with 89 being her her attempts to break in to features including "See No Evil, Hear No Evil." At least it cannot be claimed that she was miscast in NHB because she was destined to replace Linda Fiorentino in the sequels to "The Last Seduction."

The only other person in the film that could claim to be a movie star was Jesse Ventura. I will probably return to that talent later on in this blog, but lets return to the lack of star power instead of a guy who could have carried the film.

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No Holds Barred: Vince McMahon's Mein Kampf

The title and content of this blog is satirical. I do not believe there is any evidence to suggest that the McMahon family or WWE Inc. (whom I am a stock holder in) has any intentions to rule the Eastern Hemisphere or antisemitic sentiment.

Then again, there was the the rechristening of Colt Cabana as Scotty Goldman (a racist slur according to El Generico on "The Art of Wrestling: Episode 107"). Using the term rechristen seems wrong, don't it? Also, Cabana did not deny Brendon Burns's interesting description of the Goldman gimmick on AOW 210.

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