The
heat is now on. I think I have a notebook from 2010 with some movie
reviews for the nights where I get too drunk or too high to watch
something for content, but it is inevitable that I will run out of those
at some point. Time has caught up to my content. This is probably a
good thing, and then I recall having a half day on Wednesday for a
dental appointment.
Everyday
is a mid-80's Kenny Loggins song or an "Archer" joke. I thought I could
apply "The Heat Is On" but that was Glenn Frey. When you consider that
Loggins's last 80's soundtrack contribution was for "Caddyshack II",
perhaps my joke description of my life works.
Really,
the only content pressure is trying to make sure it takes up enough
space on the blog layout. Unless I am coming back from the weekend, how
much crazy shit can happen to me in the matter of a day (I start
promoting blogs on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday)? This indicates that I
should write next Monday's entry on Thursday. At least I have a dentist
appointment the previous night. Oral stuff make for great content.
As
for my weekend, my back is in shambles. It could be standing for 18
hours over the retailers Black Friday sales and moving large and awkward
boxes. It could be old age (I have had this injury since I was 16, so
more than have my life). It could be the evil of my subconscious wanting
to get some familiar sympathy from my immediate family that is dealing
with a COVID outbreak. No, I have not called my folks to plead for
advice on how to deal with it.
This
is probably nerve damage because it turns out that sitting directly on
the heating pad seemed to provide me with some relief. I tried to lay
down, but how would I have been able to distract myself with 2010's "The
Losers", a film that must have thought the moderate success of the
R-Rated, Jeffery Dean Morgan starring "Watchmen" could translate into
PG-13 gold. Since Morgan is known best for characters whose murders all
revolve around pregnancy, the result seems easy to predict.
I
think we will get into the post's movie review rather quickly (Spoiler: So I thought.). Yes,
Trump is starting to accept reality, but it has only been a day since I
knocked out my review for the tragic misuse of the North American
treasure, Keanu Reeves, in "Siberia".
If there is a video game titled with the same pronunciation of your
movie title (As I verified that on Wikipedia, I found out that "Cyberia"
was also the title of a UK-based industrial act called Cubanate. At
least one positive came out of that $0.55 rental.), we are not expecting
romance to trump the diamond smuggling drama.
It
is actually appropriate that I finally opened my first Netflix DVD of
the billing cycle, "Slither", because I just got word today of a
COVID-19 outbreak at my parents' house. At least Mom (Negative while older sister and Dad are positive.) will appreciate
that this feature is from the guy who brought Rocket and Groot to the
big screen.
The
more I think about, the more spooked I get. Dad has beaten cancer thrice,
survived a heart attack before those scares, and successfully held off
the diabetic diagnosis for nearly 70 years (about twice as long as I
did). He even won a trivia night at The Fox Pub when a
kidney stone decided to it needed to be passed during the game. If anyone can beat the disease it is him, but I worry that
writing about it is just going to jinx him.
And
when I take into account when his father died, the patriarchy fell
apart. Grandpa went, the truth about his prejudices came out, and then
the subsequent families started feuding. The last couple of years have
left me pondering some of his (or Mom's expressed through him) biases,
but I cannot help but wonder if the four children and wife will be
warring. Regardless of my differences with my folks and younger siblings
(I shared a room with my brother from his birth until the little sister
went to ISU. My first roommate upon moving out was my little sister.),
we have always gotten a long. If I look back at my mom and her family
when my great grandparents passed, it just seems like everything can (will) go
to hell with a loss in a family (A bitter sibling of Mom's came back to our life upon their mom's death.).
If
I would have gotten the news about yesterday, "Slither" would have been
the ideal, ironic distraction. But, it is Tuesday. "AEW Dark" just cannot
muster a card up to take the edge off and you know my unwatched movies
are all a little too far on the dark side to relax to. Did I enjoy "Slither"
enough to purchase it on iTunes (It was $4.99 and yes, it was purchased)?
Did
I start thinking that Matchbox 20 was more than a hangover from the
"Hootie and Blowfish" sound before or after Santana collaborated with
Rob Thomas on "Smooth"? This query has come up because of my past
weekend actually having some revelations. And of course these
revelations are not positive ones because the line that came to mind was
"I wish the real world would stop hassling me".
My
older sister tested positive and is suffering from COVID-19. My ex
girlfriend decided to accept my invitation to visit her cat without
prefacing her RSVP with just got tested for the corona virus (low risk, but attended a funeral with cases emerging). My mom was
so troubled by everything, I get the pressure of making sure I am going
to be alright. After she calmed down when I told her my work situations
are in order, my information in the event of tragedy was the thing
to further hassle me about.
Thankfully,
allergies are not letting me breath too much of anything in. Also, my
allergies have left me with an emergency inhaler, so I got the gas ready
if I am going to end up with the hot new virus. The testing sites had
all closed by the time that I got the news and OSF URGO would not test
me without symptoms. I have taken all the actions I can, but anxiety is
leftover. Unlike the run up to the election, the politics are not there
to exhaust me. As a result, it is back to the bottle and pot.
Yes,
there was an attempt to try to incorporate Sublime's "What I got"
into the last paragraph. What I need is a great big festering neon
distraction to replace the orange fuck in the oval office who probably
needs to learn to swim.
Curse
this country's news holding pattern. It is very difficult to look
forward when the past refuses to get out of the way. Worst thing about
the past four years are that its revelers are infectious.
Last night, I
think I have an idea for a satirical response to it all, but I do not
want to give that away. It will probably eat away at me since the
pandemic has locked down all places where creativity is facilitated and
encouraged. And the Right says the virus was the libs fault. We are suffering without having outlets to create. They are suffering because they are being told to care about people.
All I can say for my idea otherwise is that it will be more interesting
than the Keanu Reeve's starring "Siberia". Since Reeve's takes on all
jobs between "Wick" films, perhaps I just need to shop my scripts to his
agent.
Siberia (2018)
Lucas
Hill's is an accomplished diamond trader for the international black
market. His next deal in St. Petersburg, Russia, should land him a cut
of $50,000,000, but his partner Pyotr seems to have gotten spooked and
has gone into hiding in Mirney, Siberia. By offering a two percent
discount, Hill is able to get his buyer to allow him two days to find
his partner and collect all the stones.
Our
protagonist is not greeted warmly in Siberia. Trying to be chivalrous
when it comes to Katya, the owner of Mirney's only cafe, results in him being
beaten up by some of the locals. Katya takes him in for the night, and
the entire town believes that their must be something going on between
the two. She reasons that if she is going to be declared the town slut,
she may as well live up to it and offers to sleep with Hill who always
sports his wedding wing. If it will assist him investigating Pyotr's
whereabouts, Hill will oblige.
What
Hill finds out is that Pyotr has the stones, and tried to sell knock
offs to another buyer to double the profits. The location of the
originals is still a mystery. This leaves Hill with no stones, no time
left, and a mistress who he cannot get out of his head. You have to be
clever in this field and ready to hustle. If this is the hand he
has been dealt, he will play all of these cards to make it back to the
States alive.
"Siberia"
is a waste of time on all fronts. It wastes intriguing performances
from its lead actors. The title and DVD artwork is misleading. And
because it was a damn near direct-to-DVD feature, I assumed I saw a sub
100-minute run time posted at the Redbox. The extra seven on top of my standard 97-minute
allowance means that I cannot use it to build on the NinetyForChill.com database.
Usually, I would prefer to shoot a visceral, two-minute movie review for the thaidurden YouTube channel, but this feature zapped the energy needed for that.
The
feature's lead actors, Keanu Reeves and Ana Ularu, give performances that make you care about their characters,
but with no action sequences or genuine hate towards the arrangement
they find themselves in, the audience will be let down when the feature
ends. There are some intense sexually driven scenes, but they do not
result in anything significant. It is a shame because you want there to
be.
Keanu
Reeves is a great "every man" in this feature and almost all of his
other films. He is stoic in most of his roles now, and I think that is
how a lot of men think they should act. This performance being very
grounded in reality makes me understand him better as an actor. I admire
that he did not phone it in for this cheap feature, but that makes the
time wasted seem even more valuable. If the film fails, everyone should
fail to discourage anyone else getting invested.
My
claim that the film is cheap is apparent through out. The atmospheres
never seem authentic. Somehow, I do not thing Winnipeg is desolate
enough to make me think of the Russian no man's land. St. Petersburg was
probably visited, but we never get any expansive shots to feel like we
are there. There are some action sequences, but director Matthew Ross
cannot follow any of it. Do not even get me started on the the anticlimactic bear hunt.
When
you think about the home of the gulags, you do not think about
star-crossed lovers, so "Siberia" is a very misleading title. There is
some cat and mouse play that makes you feel like this could be a spy
thriller, but there are never any threats that feel real. If Siberia is a
wasteland, than this feature is a literal interpretation of the title.
I
am seeing my blog post views trend downward. It is either because I am a
shit writer or people have better stuff to do. The latter is what I am
leaning towards, which is a good thing...I think.
My
hesitance about the quality of people being busier is because of the
obvious increase in COVID-19. The old stomping grounds is not taking the
outbreak seriously which is making me further appreciate my feeling that I
have outgrown the debauchery I so enjoyed. But as I complain about the
news cycles and in turn the country being in a holding pattern, envy of
them finding stuff to do to take their mind off of the monotony is
present with me.
This
corona virus would have been more appropriately fallen on the
year 2222. Everything has a catch. COVID was probably in a "damned if I
do, damned if I do not" scenario. If we do not start listening to Greta
Thunberg or keep pushing China and Iran around, will there be a 2222?
"Alien" occurs in 2122 and "Alien Resurrection" shows there was not much
of it by 2379.
It
occurs to me that my Isolation (Yes, it is a bit of a stretch for a
"Alien" transition.) might be what is making me feel that everyone else
is having fun but me (Please get back to me Soccer Planet.).
Too bad the latest dating prospect was talking about not being able to
go home and COVID related symptoms. Maybe I just need to clean up my
apartment to host my coworkers or blokes in Champaign/Urbana who already
have podcasts over to make some content (I think my movie pod is still
unique enough.). That would definitely feel like a better use of time
than dealing with conservatives who are migrating to Parler, but need to
stick it to The Squad. Assholes like:
@skipmcq
@drcubano89
@tideintejas
@bandanadeb
@terrijdunkley
@artyfischal0101
@kenwebsterII
When
I counter troll, I usually try to get about ten of these shitheads into
a tweet. To get on the tits of seven of them and to be presumed as a
servant of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, it feels like I am doing something
right. They all claim my actions were pointless while denying the
reasoning of why I am asking them not to be twats. To see those above
conversing about me, I am just a guy trying to make people actually
be social on the Internet.
So,
this blog has covered two of the three sides that make me up. I may
throw a cat pic up there to cover half of my simplest self description. As
for a tat pic to express the other half, just visit Harshside.Blogspot.com.
The
remaining third of my internet presence is pro wrestling and being its
sanctioning body that determines the Real Champions and the titles's
lineages free of vacancies, and hopefully cheap wins. Cheap wins being
the problem this blog will address.
WrestleMania 31 - Santa Clara - WrestleMania: Press Play
I
guess this is evidence that I am, or at least can be, a mark. The anger
of WWE failing to listen to the audience because they gave the fans
what they wanted at WrestleMania 30 (which cost us CM Punk being an all
around good human being. "Pay Cabana! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!") led
me to cancelling the WWE Network. They had sent me my $25 off WWE
Shopzone coupon for sticking around a year. You could not expect much
more from them.
Then
they go and finally have somebody cash in Money in the Bank at the
showcase of the immortals. What made me regret cancelling this online service was my
friend and co-Danny Daniels Disciple, Seth Rollins being the guy to do
it. It sent the cynical home happy, inspired me to fight for a free
month of the Network (which I won), and make us overlook the burying of
Sting, Rusev, and Bray Wyatt. The problem with this is, he still stole
the belt, so did he deserve to be a part of the Disgruntled’s Real World Heavyweight Championship Title History?
I
think he is more deserving than Jay Briscoe, but that may be politics
speaking (homophobe with Confederate fandom). Jay Lethal does not need his title reign expanded any further,
but again, extracurricular stuff makes me lean that way (sexual manipulator). Coming up with
this new history will be challenging. Thank the gods for the National
Wrestling Alliance. They have bailed me out again like they did with "Miz the Nugget: Money in the Bank and Distguntled's Interim Real World Champion."
The 1st Reestablished Disgruntled's Interim Real World Champion:
NWA World Champion Hiroyoshi Tenzan (March 29, 2015 to August 29, 2015)
It
is a bad time for this nation to be in a holding pattern. A part of me
wishes Donald Trump would do something dramatic, like when H.W. Bush
found a reason to bomb Iraq before 1992 ended. In other words, I finally
gave into buying a microphone to podcast with. If there is not any
drama, what is there to podcast about?
There
are too many wrestling podcasts out there. An idea for one just came
into my head as I pondered, "Are there too many movie podcasts out
there?" Gods know that I do not want to give that away. Either
direction, a host for each episode is kind of essential. Unless I wanted
to try and become the liberal version of Alex Jones that is.
Is
that what I should put down in my Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meet Bagel,
and OK Cupid profiles (Zoosk and Plenty of Fish have lost their
usefulness.)? Single chonk male looking for podcast cohost.
Or
maybe I just need a lawyer to go after "Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies". Too
bad my pair back in Peoria are for bankruptcy and criminal defense. But I will say, you
should research the Library of Congress for what screenplays have
copyright protection before moving ahead with your project. Scripts revolving around your own personal wrestling
experiences are unique. B-movie versus flicks, not so much. All I am
saying is, "Tokyo Zombie" and "Land of the Dead's" zombie combat scenes
made me happy that the government approved my script instead of calling me a thief.
What
it comes down to is did the "Pro Wrestlers versus Zombies" start up
before I got the copyright for my script and before I launched this
blog. To his credit, director did Cody Knotts did get his Kickstarter
going before the MainEventOfTheDead.com. Or at least I think he did. The oldest date listed on the page is 11 days behind my domain registration.
I
guess my first podcast could be an oral history of "Main Event of the
Dead" and the Fangoria-panned "Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies". Do not take my
noting of a negative review as a personal attack Mr. Knotts. My
bringing up the name of the most famous/infamous horror movie magazine
is being used as a transition to the following movie review, The
Fangoria co-production, "VFW", a more horrific and authentic story of old
soldiers kicking ass.
This
must be my bad luck for Voorhees Day. With two days off in the middle
of the week, I failed to remember that I needed to prepare my tweets for
Wednesday ahead of time. To make up for my tweets through the work
week, the Wednesday night tweets have been prepped to drop tonight.
"Smackdown"
tonight and "Talk'n ShopaMania 2" tomorrow give me some hashtags to
grab onto, so my slip up seems rather inconsequential. It made me think
about prepping another batch to post from Saturday through Monday. And
that is when it hit me. I am not going to have enough content for Monday
through Wednesday. Ambitions for me are somethings that always end up
being cursed.
Narcissism
is fun to toy with. I can suggest that after the Cubs won the World
Series four years-ago, their depressing existence has fallen on to me.
The ownership group in Wrigley got all the prizes since Trump was
elected. Like that franchise really needed the 2017 tax break. You can
say that it is the entire country that suffered, but judging that you
can see "Pritzker Sucks!" sign in trailer parks, ignorance is bliss to
many.
I
have been complaining about the holding pattern the election has left
us in. Without any legal victories for the incumbent, there will be a
lack of news until the GSA provides Biden access to the briefings
regardless of a concession. It is only fitting that someone who is in a
holding pattern in regards to diving into the Chicago comedy/writing
scene is about to be in that holding pattern all the time. Curse this
50-hour work week.
As
I said, narcissism can be fun to play with. If I chose to live in the
now, my pilot for my next wrestling comedy idea could be knocked out in a
month. Motivation is the only thing missing. It is slow to comeback after I get home from works and my cats want to cuddle.
If
only Soccer Planet's ownership would get back to me about their broken
website. If I have the motivation to get healthy and have fun beyond my
cats, who knows what doors will open in my mind.
Granted,
they never got back to me when I could not commit to the 30+ Adult
season in 2019 due to my retail and hospitality schedule. Still, they
got 20 bucks from me to allow me to further my amateur soccer comeback.
I
suppose this might be a poor move. It could give ownership the
impression that I am intolerant of those who travel in from Mahomet and St. Joseph to
play soccer. My position
is that I am not. All I am doing is calling people out for being
shitty to their fellow citizens.
The opinions I express on Twitter (@maineventzombie and @catbusruss
are the best follows I can offer.) never directly insult anyone except
the leaders of these assholes. If you show that you are a moron in response, my reply
may cut into you, but I did not start it.
So
now I am just venting. If that is going to be my thing with this post, I
may as well rip into the Canadian attempt at "Dead Poet Society", "Lost
and Delirious". Trying to revisit a film that I stayed up for 20 years
ago because of the "Strong Sexual Content" warning and excessive use of
"Add It Up" by the Violent Femmes was a goal of mine.
Maturity was something I lacked which may have prevented me from
appreciating what the film was trying to do. Unfortunately, a poorly
written forbidden, lesbian-love story proved to lack the depth I thought I
was youthfully ignoring.
"Lost and Delirious" is a Canadian attempt at "Dead Poet Society" where
all characters are abandoned by each other. It is a depressing mess
where swapping out "A Midsummer's Night Dream" with a lesbian romance
involving a girl who is obsessed with Lady MacBeth still fails to make
it interesting. Watch "Foxfire" for your ambiguous girl power fix.
All the ratty clothes that I do not want Mom to throw out have been washed. I have yet to open up the vape from my last NuEra
visit, but when you have a bit of liquidity to your finance, further
stockpiling seemed like a wise move. If only it was not next door to my
laundromat, the dispensary might be out of mind. Mooching water from my
places of work has been optimized. This all means that I am ready to
hibernate for the winter.
At
least I am more ready for winter than those Charmin Bears. Get a bidet.
You can use less with Charmin, but the fur must still require more bog
rolls than what I use. Then again, they might be stuck on the product
because of a perineal fixation, but bidet manages that better.
The
hibernation talk is because I am just feeling exhausted. It might
be the diabetes, but the sudden onset of this throws me off. After all
of the reestablishing a relationship with OSF, I think these symptoms
have suddenly become prevalent. Heartburn is something I dealt with
once, twice at most before 2020. After hearing it was a symptom of
diabetes, it seems to always be lurking. Perhaps it was the power of
suggestion being used by the physician assistant I see. Or it could just
be 2020.
2020
is perhaps the year that Trump's America deserved. Too bad they just
reject any kind of suggestion in the name of liberty. The sudden
unseasonable weather has led me to close up my apartment, so the
allergies are fine at the moment. People like the following are my only
headache right now.
Switched my phone, so I do not have the list of the most deplorable on hand. Please accept my apologies.
Since
we all know they are delusional, it is easy just to ignore them when
their deity will soon be forced off his pedestal. If you consider his
health and skin color, calling him a golden cow is not much of a
stretch. You figure his moronic followers are more aware of the Old
Testament than the new based on the values they display.
If
only they understood irony. If they did, we would not have to worry
about hate crimes before the term ends. I am little bit concerned for
the President Elect with a Friday the 13th coming up. Otherwise, a
weekend with great wrestling and a decent 90-minute flick, it is the
closest I have been to being carefree in a while.
AEW Full Gear and DRCW Title Changes
I
was surprised that we left the show with the tag team and secondary
championships changing hands. After the Tully Blanchard was barred from
ringside, a Bucks victory was guaranteed. With the lack of drama in the
women's division, Shida seemed more susceptible to defeat.
Cody's
latest reign did not have the time to be spectacular, so being a
constant thorn in Darby Allin's side seemed more appropriate. Allin
chasing the title can sell tickets, but with no crowds, AEW might be
wise in saving that. But did that cost them the Disgruntled's OCHO
Championship?
I
really need to pick up the output of movie reviews. There is just no balance in
my writing. This political holding pattern sucks, so long-winded satire
is not available.
Well,
I could go on about the asshole Dan Roth (@Dan12R) who went off the
rails about how Trump had done everything to stop COVID-19 that could be
expected by any leader in response to this tweet:
Does
anyone else find it odd how the #rightwing opposes evolution, but find
natural selection viable when it comes to the economy?
@Dan12R
decided to write a thread about the hashtags, and not contest the
question. Perhaps he did somewhere in the 12 tweet thread. It is
difficult enough to endure myself going around in circles to justify the
arguments my blogs feature. He has yet to respond to my retort.
Call
me a rando. It is better than being a #hateful #Hypocrite who follows
the #compassionate who promote the betterment of this society but
because they inconvenience you or disagree with your judgemental faith, you must shut them down. Hope you overcome your inferiority complex.
If
you need context to the challenges of his faith, "Conservative
Christian" is the first title he provides on his Twitter profile.
*Blog post restarted on November 4, 2020.
So
where is my head at after election night? I am doing all right. We will
have a better idea after I spend the second half the day in Morton. Here is to hoping Mom wanted to cut herself
off from the coverage like she did in 2016 to be surprised when she
picked up my depressed and distraught older sister from her overnight
shift to know that the result was the one she wanted.
I
know my Facebook is for the most part stressed out. There has been a
lot of unfollowing of HOI residences (current and former) who are
discrediting protesters who know that we are about to the point of needing
to end the Trump nightmare by any means necessary. It leads me to
wonder how working at a gym had become so lucrative or where in
Naperville or Arlington Heights an uber jock landed.
*Blog post restarted on November 5. 2020.
The only problem with my trip home was that my phone upgrade went and deleted all my tweet drafts for @maineventzombie.
I do not think that I will ever forget about my butt plugs and vodka
haiku, but it took a bit of work to get out my promotional tweets for my
blog network. In the end, Dad would rather hangout an watch AEW with me
than watch Tucker Carlson with Mom. At least that marriage is balanced.
And
that is a fortunate transition to the state of the wrestling business. Well the
businesses past which a lot of people still long for in wrestling. By
bringing up the revival(s) of the DRCW Interim Real World Championship, I hope to convince a few of them to keep looking to the future.
Money in the Bank: Is the Pop Worth the Invalidation?
Rarely
do we ever get any great championship runs by those who have
successfully cashed in the briefcase. John Cena took it back from Edge.
Edge ended up forfeiting his second cash in to the Great Khali. CM Punk
did not get to lose the championship for the sake of an angle. Alberto
Del Rio dropped the belt back to Punk. It was not till The Miz took his
victory into WrestleMania that a MITB winner could prove their quality,
but even then, his primary feud was with Jerry Lawler who was preoccupied with Michael Cole. Thank the gods for that event's nostalgia
pops.
It
was the start of a new month at the bank yesterday, so I had my hands
full with monthly tasks. Catching up on all the news websites did not
occur, but there really is not much news, so at least I am not too far
behind. The holding pattern and perhaps this unlikely democracy ends
tonight, so at least I do not need to worry about having the time to
fill with new content.
A negative result to the election would be a Catch 22 for this creative sole. If we
fall into a dictatorship, cutting myself off from media means more
writing. Of course, I can only talk about so many movies and so much
wrestling.
Perhaps
it has been the election stress that is wearing me out. I could have
returned to the blog I started writing on Friday, but I think we can
save that for the potential hate to come. The basis of that post ended
up taking up my wind down time from my long shift at the retailer (7 days down, 7 to go), and I
think I am only now starting to recover.
The
world has been so exhausting of late that I am getting a reasonable
amount of sleep without pot or booze. I am trying to determine my poison
tonight. If the world ends, why would I want to know it? This attitude
kind of falls in line with my existential philosophy. Since I do not
remember when my life started, how will I know when it ends?
I
guess I am just in an existential conundrum. It is a chaotic time and I
start to think about all the consequences this election will have. This
leads me to worry about the worst and what should be done to resolve
it. There are hopes that someone wiser takes this decision away from us
Americans.
That
was suppose to be a transition to my review of the theatrical
adaptation of "Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons", but it looks like I
am just being Anakin Skywalker emo in the fields of Naboo, calling on
someone wise to rule. The depression must be real.
To
my credit, I am just asking for someone to end the corruption, not
necessarily rule. At least this "Deathstroke" feature has a protagonist
wise enough to know he cannot take power when he shakes up a government.
Too bad I am left with more dread from the "Teen Titans Go!"
interpretation of this character.
"Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons: The Movie"
Slade
Wilson is a loving family man. He has been happily married to his wife
Adeline and they have a son Joseph who is fascinated by the world of
legend from the books his father reads to him. Joseph sees his father as a
knight saving the world from the evils that exist. This perception
could not be further from the truth.
Wilson
is also the mercenary Deathstroke. He is the product of an army medical
testing to create a means to make their soldiers heal faster. The
military along with his wife thought these experiments failed, so this
allows Wilson
and his former MI6 handler, Wintergreen, sell this one man army's
services to the highest bidder. Whoever wins the auction best be aware
though, Deathstroke will provide them only if you are worthy enough.
The
Hive, a collective of amoral assassins, know they are not worthy of
Wilson's services, but they still want the best on their team. Led by
the Jackal, they decide that surely Wilson will trade his independence
for his sons life. They soon find out not to underestimate his abilities
as he leaves only one of his son's captors alive. Ironically, this
ordeal exposes his double life, so Adeline leaves him and decides to send Joseph, now
mute, to Swiss boarding school to protect him.
10
years later, Wilson receive a communication from the Hive Queen. It
turns out that the organization has rebuilt itself and has ambitions of
world domination. These ambitions again involve his son, whom they have
discovered has telekinetic and telepathic powers. The Queen claims, if
Deathstroke is a handgun, the newly christened Jericho is a nuclear
bomb. Both Wilsons will have to come together to not only save their
son, but the world.
"Deathstroke:
Knights and Dragons: The Movie" has some fun moments, but as a fan of
DC media, accepting a heroic take on "The Terminator" is difficult. This
feature is the final product of what was to be a 12-episode digital
series, and the inconsistency of the production make that more than
evident. It is not necessarily bad, but it is an unquestionable misfire.
Titmouse,
the studio I know best for "Metalocalypse" and "Superjail!" (Yes, "The
Venture Bros." too, but the "chirp" logo does not stand out as much as
it does with their 11-minute productions of pure insanity.) was behind
this production. It appears they were trying to capture a middle ground
visually between the more hand-drawn look of "The Venture Bros" and the
flash-based look of their more experimental shorts. It just does not end
up fitting well together. Like the the story.
This
project was originally intended to 12 30-minute episodes leads to a
lot of edits that result in pacing that goes from slow to panicked in a
breath. As a result, the plot becomes overly ambitious for the runtime.
You can either have an origin tale, or the end of the world. You cannot
have both.
Nothing
outside the script and animation is overly impressive. I like the
casting of go to black Englishman Colin Salmon as Wintergreen/Black
Alfred, but none of the actors really stand out. "The Shield" is a show I
might need to watch to appreciate Michael Chiklis as the lead. Until then, his
"Robot Chicken" appearances have landed better with me.
And
I could not get over this heroic light they place on Deathstroke. It is
inconsistent with everything I have seen. Granted, his origin tale is
foreign to me, but when you lose an eye to Damian Wayne in "Son of
Batman", it is difficult to be sold on you as noble. They try to balance
this hero persona with the graphic means of dispatching henchmen,
but when that is only 20-minutes of content, the rest of his actions
make him seem dull and incapable of harassing the Teen Titans.
Deathstroke
may deserve his own product, but like the Joker, he does not deserve a
redemption tale. Because of this, I wonder how "Deathstroke: Knights
& Demons" made it out of the development stages. If the production
was solid, it could have saved this feature from being weak, but it does
not change the fact that it was a bad idea to begin with.
