And Throw in Some Nine Inch Nails for the LOLs

Dirty Laundry (HostGator)

*This blog post was started on January 29, 2024.

On my last podcast blog (Wonka, A Dangerous Method...With Shoes On & The 3M Movie Marathon), I stated that my life has been a comedy of errors recently. It is still January, so maybe 2024 is just not my year.

The thing is, I do not feel like that. My money management has improved. The part-time job is going pretty well. Podcasting has been working out fine. Everything has just gotten there by awkward means. At least I am blogging again.

Of course, that is because of my anal-retentive nature. ninetyforchill.blogspot.com was given a new layout after I decided for ninetyforchill.com to forward to my podcast feed instead of the blog. 

Lets not even get into the drama from HostGator that will seemingly result in the top Stacia Hardin page being deleted. She is worth $15.99 a month to honor despite I was never informed this was going to be the price. Every cable company that I am familiar with gives you notice that the price will increase.

HostGator is worse than Mediacom. I guess Stacia would respect me dropping these assholes, but money to let those she touched in her life reminisce about her is not a big deal to me. Then I am told that the fees they do not allow to show up in my order history will not be refunded despite promises that they were, on two occasion. She would not approve of me being a prison bitch.

I still need to continue this blog. Hell, it has to get back on track. This is not a podcast after all. But, how can you not admire Stacia telling me to stand up for myself? There are definitely souls. Thanks for supporting that belief and thanks for the encouragement.

Encouragement is something a new friend says that I need DOT DOT DOT.

I'm So Ronery (or Just Broke)

*This blog post was resumed on January 30, 2024.

Please pardon the interruptions. I am still trying to get to bed at reasonable times. As I type this blog post up with no odd topic to get to (be it anime or my fine criticism of pro wrestling), it kind of illustrates how I do not have my life as together as I was feeling. When left to recollect, the false sense of confidence is shot down.

The day this post started, I got a "I'm not that into you" message from a girl following cheesecake and wine at her condo in Peoria. It just felt good to be told that our acquaintance with each other was not going to evolve into a romantic relationship instead of just being ghosted.

Was I interested in sex? As a guy who has not been intimate with anyone in the past three calendar years, yes. As someone courting a person who lived ninety miles away? If we had not found instant chemistry after date one, no. I think we were more interested in telling each others stories than actually connecting. She is a woman who is very career focused in an effort...

We are Facebook friends, so going into an amateur psychoanalysis probably is not wise. She broke me down as just needing to receive encouragement. That is something I have received very little over the past 25 years.

There was Stacia primarily. Then there were times when my best friend actually has artistic inspiration that she can you me to fuel. It is great that I have my wrestling trainer, Danny Daniels, who was willing to believe in me against his initial judgement. If only the rest of the world was so kind.

That may sound a bit cruel to Allyson. Where would the trash feature review segments be for "Ninety For Chill: The Podcast with CatBusRuss?" without her. But, she knows she has never been an empathetic person. It is great that she is trying to work on that. My opinions of finding it through Evangelicalism...

Again, she might read this blog.

It is getting close to midnight, and I still have the final touches to add to this week's podcast reissue, "The Lost Boys with CouchManBakes". This means I better wrap up this portion of my yarn. My new friend says I was a great storyteller. That is probably how she might have left thinking my brain is stuck at the point when my best friend thought fucking some asshole meant she was beyond the trauma she based her half of our friendship from. With that, I am left at thinking, encouragement may make me a better person, but am I worth encouraging?

*This blog post was concluded on January 31, 2024.

I was just about to look up another song title to incorporate in the blog post's title, but my feeling of mentally slipping makes me want to conclude this post and the thoughts I had.

Would you not know it, I had to talk a friend down from a panic tonight. Makes me wonder if I can handle a relationship. Granted, this is from a friendship established before I was recruited onto the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Trivia Team, so stability does not tend to be a feature of my closest friends from my past.

After trying to get them to promise they will not continue to over react to a series of events involving a friend who lives hours away, I am trying to get my head back on straight. They called to ask about what I had learned from my 2004 to 2006 drama. The situations that led to me flaking out on my pro-wrestling career the following year. It was basically me just telling them to not make similar decisions and hoping Pandora's Box was shut. Then again, my conclusion was it was not their place to force themselves into problems they think maybe occurring. But if someone asks for help, I would help.

And I guess I am left wondering where the fuck those people have been in my life. Stacia could at least haunt a few people in my direction.

It seems that I just think too much because I did not expect this blog to take such a twist. At the beginning, a tough start to the year was nothing to me. Rolling with the punches is something I am good at. Did I get that way because I knew no one gives enough of a shit to step in?

The "Ronery (or Just Broke) portion of the title was supposed to conclude with me just saying that I do not need a girl for romance, just to pay half the rent. It would get me out of the corporate retail that is becoming HostGator and allow me to devote my time selling booze. Knowing my luck, something would mess the career up. It is happening at my primary retailer that took four years to by my primary income source. The prior favorite job, Mark Twain Hotel, circumstances fucked me over in a month after landing a full-time position.

My existence is insanity (and a bunch of Nine Inch Nails songs). Every time I seem to have a break, I get broken. But I pick up the pieces to only get broken again. Rocky Balboa at least got a motherfucking payday. Where is my payday?

Am I not attractive enough? I am not a pet, so cute does not cut it.

Am I not mature enough? Everyone ends up telling me to knock off the dreaming.

Encouragement is what I need. But that takes other people's time. Fuck me if I hope for money.

I am told to be happy because I try to succeed at my dreams. And then I am told to grow the fuck up. It just feels like I am told that I am not supposed to succeed. So I am suppose to accept failure and fake it the rest of my life?

I guess I am not worth fighting for. Now, bitterness may fucking define me.

It is a good thing I did not title this blog "We're in This Together Now".

https://www.pinterest.com/neferast/

NinetyForChill: The #Podcast - Ghost World, Ebertfest, & ThePoeticCritic’s Summertime Sadness

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 65: Ghost World, Ebertfest, & ThePoeticCritic’s Summertime Sadness (Maybe they just need Rivermen Hockey to get over the apathy.).

Ghost World, Ebertfest, & ThePoeticCritic’s Summertime Sadness

April 26, 2022

Cool Movie Darth has finally attended Ebertfest when he saw the Terry Zwigoff and Thora Birch hosted screening of "Ghost World". It may have only been to one of the 13 shows, but this is a movie that has an important place in his life, regardless of the extra 20 minutes. He does his best to describe the experience to his big sister, ThePoeticCritic, perhaps to distract her from the remaining month of cinema lacking Jeff Goldblum.

Allow me to get out of third-person. Happy Prof. Shurtleff of Illinois Central College? I (CM Darth) will try not to make so much light of violent death in this summation. This is my declaration of changing perspective. 

If only there was not a bitter, former coworker from Marine Bank who decided to report my blog to frustrated management, I could probably have afforded the $200 admission fee to attend all the films at Ebertfest. I mean Seymour and Enid may have only had their lives ruined due to incidental circumstances. This is the "libertarian" who watched Telegram videos next to me and stated how she thought Bernie Sanders was a fascist and J.K. Rowling knows what she is talking about.

She had found a new job, closer to her home with comparable pay, but to be truly happy, she went out of her way to try and ruin my life. For her sake, IDES better side with me on my appeal of Marine Bank's protest because the world need to be warned of her. If you have suggestions on how to provide her with a scarlet letter, let me know.

DazedDigital.com - Ghost World: the ultimate teen girl outsider film

So I may have been in the right mood to see the cinematic adaptation of Daniel Clowes's seminal comic book. If you feel like the rest of the world does not care about how awful they can look, this feature is for you. It lets you know, you are not the only one out there. The dilemma is, should we grow out of this?

When I was introduced to this film in 2004 by my now estranged best friend, both of us may have ignored the question. Or, we just wanted to know why we had to change to fit in instead of the dim ones. It is a story about growing up, and whether or not if it is worth it.

I had intended to at least stick around Champaign/Urbana on Saturday to catch Guillermo del Toro's presentation of the black and white version of his "Nightmare Alley" remake, but my dad offered me a ticket to the Peoria Rivermen's Southern Professional Hockey League's semi-final series conclusion. This ended up being a more expensive endeavor. How was I suppose to know that they would be selling limited edition "Star Wars" hockey sweaters?

For the Ladies: True Crime and Britt Baker.

*This blog post was started on December 2, 2021.

Too much work to know what the hell is going on. Tis the season.

I suppose working so much keeps me out of trouble, until you are expected to be a loan professional. This must be the reason the bathroom has been out of order at the bank for the last couple of days. It is karma balancing things out. To go into further details may violate the confidentiality agreement with the bank. With all the stuff I say about my family, parents preparing an NDA when their child moves out might be a wise move.

The lack of free time means I have not spoken to my folks recently. A write up is the worst that will happen to me at the bank. I think I can spare one more. Thus, there is just a sense of dread that somewhere, I am going to run into some trauma.

It is a yin and yang thing. Screw up someone's credit, I still get the offer to renew my apartment with $200 off my first month rent. Toilet goes out at the day job, the libertarian at the stall next to me is leaving for a bank job in my ex's hometown. There are not that many banks in Tuscola. Do I warn my ex's mom about a possible mistake?

All things considered, at least I know I am well informed outside of Central Illinois. I have a coworker watching a crime doc about Lori Vallow-Daybell. They are a fan of true crime entertainment and were perplexed not being aware of this case. My surprise came from the realization that people may not be reading enough. Then again, if we did not have so many mass shootings to take up the press, we can capitalize on every Casey Anthony-reminiscent crazy crime tale.

Of course I told my coworker to march against guns for this reason. At least agree with no more semi-automatic weapons. How well would that fuck up in Michigan have done amassing a body count if he only had six rounds and a hammer to pull back? With this power to compromise, I really got to get the progressives the girl who took my virginity gained the support of in her U.S. Representative campaign to follow me. If we turn this into a performance, I am as charismatic as the next bloke.

Aside from the fellow whose credit I may have screwed up (because my branch refuses to advance any of its employees thus ensuring they will not have the training to deal with odd scenarios), I have been focusing on the ladies around me. Vague pronouns are being done away with in the name of transitions. It is a weak segue way, but can you come up with a better one?

*This blog post was resumed on December 7, 2021.

The Disgruntled's Women's Wrestling Power Rankings (12/7/2021):

I assure you that I am researching to see if a Tag Team Championship lineage can be formed. It will not start in 1983 like most of the DRCW Championships. The NWA did their best, but by the 80's, it disappeared with the territories and brass knuckles belts.

With holiday craziness creating weird days at the bank, I have actually fallen behind in a lot of my creative aspects. Tonight, the editing of my podcast with Gregory Carl about the DC Animated Universe will commence. It should have occurred last night (if only he did not have a potty mouth), but trying to get my tablets and computers to sync up was a challenge that took up most of my evening. Oh the irony of writing a female-themed blog when a lot of the file moving were Suicide Girl pictures.

Because I needed to give my hundred(s) of listeners a head up, I offered up my coverage of the Criterion Collection kaiju classic "The X From Outer Space". If anyone is aware of another sub 100-minute movie that starts with X to feature in Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy's Trash Feature Reviews, you have 365 days to let me know about it.

This is why I am relying on coming up with a women's wrestling power ranking. It is going to be a lot faster to come up with 10 women that should be touted instead of 40 years of teams that rarely share that aesthetic.

The Number 1 Woman Wrestler in the World: Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D.

• She is the current AEW Women's World Champion after defeating the longest reigning champion, Hikaru Shida.
• The AEW Wormen's World Championship is the current Disgruntled's Real World Championship.
• AEW is currently having a tournament to crown their secondary women's championship, the TBS Championship. This further legitimizes her reign over the AEW Women's division.

The Number 2 Woman Wrestler in the World: Becky Lynch

• She is the current WWE Raw Women's Champion (A recognized world title by DRCW). I wonder how long before they start calling their championships the USA and Fox championships.
• She is presenting herself as a heel, but a more respectable one than the Smackdown Women's Champion.
• She has not lost a title match via pinfall or submission since May 19, 2019, where she had to defend both brands' belts.

The Number 3 Woman Wrestler in the World: Charlotte Flair

• She is the current WWE Smackdown Women's Champion (A recognized world title by DRCW).
• Her stock will probably rise because they will be building to a Bianca Belair for WrestleMania.
• She is the WWE office's preferred champion.
• She has had the busier year between the two brand's champions.

The Number 4 Woman Wrestler in the World: Kamille

• She his the current NWA Women's World Champion (A recognized world title by DRCW).
• The NWA Women's World Championship was being used as a secondary title briefly in AEW, hence it cannot outrank a primary championship.
• She is by far the most imposing of all Women's Champions at this time.

The Number 5 Woman Wrestler in the World: Utami Hayashishita

• She is the current World of Stardom Champion (A recognized world title by DRCW).
• She is one of the first women to wrestle on an NJPW card (one at the Tokyo Dome).
• Stardom had been serving as a feeder of women's talent to NXT.

The Number 6 Woman Wrestler in the World: Zoey Skye

• She is the current Shimmer Champion (A recognized world title by DRCW).
• Impact did their best to protect the previous champion, Kimber Lee, by putting her in tag team matches and as the second to their Women's Champion.
• She currently lacks a Wikipedia page. This may mean that she will be the next big thing, but it will be a while before we can prove that.

The Number 7 Woman Wrestler in the World: Riho

• She is the former and inaugural AEW Women's World Champion.
• She is the current top contender to the AEW Women's Champion after defeating the champion to earn the ranking.

The Number 8 Woman Wrestler in the World: Liv Morgan

• She is currently feuding over the Raw Championship.
• Multiple WWE Network documentaries imply that she will break through at some point.

The Number 9 Woman Wrestler in the World: Sasha Banks

• She is currently feuding over the Smackdown Championship.
• She is a multiple time Raw Champion and a former Smackdown Champion.

The Number 10 Woman Wrestler in the World: Mickie James

• The current Impact Knockouts Champion.
• Multiple time WWE Women's and former Diva's Champion.
• Impact has the greater exposure, so it places their championship ahead of America's first secondary championship, the Heart of Shimmer.

I think this is a good place to start when it comes to ranking the talent. If only I did not need a three-day weekend to relax, Shimmer would have given me a clearer idea of where their championship currently stands. Things should not get too crazy until the TBS Championship is determined. In other words, if I have the time, we will find out what the DRCW Women's Tag Team Championship will look like. Provided I can get through the remaining 60 movies to rank for NinetyForChill.com: The Podcast.

WrestlingInc.com - Britt Baker Reacts To Her First AEW Action Figure

A Need for Chaos, How MMA Lead to...Dive, and Benoit Pro Wrestling.

*Blog post started on December 17, 2020.

I guess life is just boring. It could be doing my best to follow social distancing protocols. It could be me needing to lay off the booze to show my PA that I have been trying to be healthier. When I have been on my own for the past month, how else am I expected to create any excitement?

The lack of opportunities to socialize has been driving me mad. My latest tattoo ideas have been the cheery ode to Wax Trax Records's best German signee, KMFDM (Kittens Make For Deadly Minions) and one that will state "Fuck Serenity". It is not an anti-Whedon (I suppose that would be warrant the "FYR" idea idea I have been working on) just an expression of displeasure that my best friend's grave has the "Serenity Prayer" on a cross that was placed there.

This may stem from me not being religious anymore and the belief she was not faith dependent either. Perhaps she became that way after she tried to fight her demons, but she ended up succumbing to them anyhow. Where was the fucking power then you cloud-riding asshole?

What can be said is that I am longing for tangible chaos. My cats can only cause so much trouble. Some hairballs and a few spilled drinks is all I am getting. 409 makes those challenges too easy for me. The moment I became calm when I was trying to make sure my friend was safe was the moment when her illness took her. If there is nothing for me to fight for, what is the point of living? How long can one remain content?

I suppose that is not the perspective of a grown up. My only responsibilities are my cats and my bills. Grown ups have kids that they need to see to adulthood so that they may receive grandchildren to spoil. The point is, you are always working for something when you are a parent, so you shall not find many moments when there is not a fight. As someone focusing of creative and social goals, not being able to pursue any sucks.

Do I envy those who have surrendered their freedom to the young? I envy the tangible relationships with partners, but their path, no. Parenthood is something I think you must want. It is an easier path to immortality, but I know enough bastards who would like their kids to not know about their previous generation.

If we think about the memory element of existence, those without kids are trying to obtain memory on a grander scale. Or at least they better be. Then again, I suppose being the town drunk could make one known for a couple of generations beyond them. It might be why my family has never truly supported me in my wrestling exploits. That lacks something tangible for them as the most they got from it was me being mentioned in "Wrestle America" magazine.

Or they saw a few matches of mine in Peoria, and realized that I had not been trained by Norman "Apocolypse" Callaway to be memorable. I was his website designer, so he thought it was privilege for me to be allowed in the ring. He does not need to look cool and he is a mark for pursuing a career in the business anyhow. Learning anything memorable from him would be impossible and would also question why he was at the top of the card regardless if he had the pen. I could get personal with his life's decisions when I knew him, but I do not know the man now to see if it worked out.

Olivia Galindo @oliviagalindo·Pinterest

The top of the card is where the story is at, and that is why Next Generation Wrestling (and later Midwest Impact Pro) was not very memorable. Peoria could not come up with the original story lines to warrant long drawn out matches. If you came back, it was because of those on the undercard who questionably sold and relied on ...dive.

Why does the "Quit Diving!" argument come up in quadrennial cycles? Randy Orton seems to have mellowed out since 2016. Perhaps it was the MMA elbows from Brock Lesnar knocking the saltiness out of him. Lesnar seems to love to work with the flippy guys more than heavyweights. If Jon Moxley offered some more small guy offense, Brock may have gotten excited to work him at WrestleMania 32.

I did not want the Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling blog to become an AEW fan site (Unless the Impact and NWA involvement requires the DRCW sanctioning body to replace all these extra belts), but with AEW being the only indie style out there (Sorry Ring of Honor. You might want to start dropping ads during local news broadcasts on Sinclair.) that is always fresh (Crowd-free wrestling cannot be aired, look at the pre-Thunderdome ratings.). Because all the best indie talent is showing up there, you have to expect...dive and selling without embellishment. With that being established, can Jim Ross really be complaining about this style not being his kind of realistic?

See arguments that I think Tommy Dreamer concurs with at DRCWwrestling.blogspot.com.

Imagining We Still Had VHS - "RIN: Daughters of the Mnemosyne"

*Blog post started on August 27, 2020.

And I am immediately regretting the TV/Blu-ray that I watched last night. First off, it is because the schedule for blog publicization (Because I want to see how everything looks, they get published about a week a head of the @maineventzombie tweet storm.) needed to be switched up. That is actually secondly when I try to put everything in chronologic order.

Firstly, I tried to add to my "Chris Memoirs" about how past loved ones seem to determine that I am an agent of chaos while Trevor Noah is discussing actual chaos. It is tough to document how I feel sorry for myself when the only life that I am fucking up is my own. What that lead to was me feeling guilty about my race's responsibility of oppressions towards the downtrodden? Talking myself down saying it is okay because I at least recognize my white privilege and have stood up for change leads me to feeling useless when my parents have a narrative to punish me if I challenge their, "It is what it is mantra".

My life feels like a mess in which I am always wondering if I can actually fix it. I feel like I am pretty useless and it feels like the moment that I left settling on a Caterpillar job at 21 (I am not Trent from my "Memoirs"), no one has put any faith in me to succeed in pursuing my passions. There are no little Scoops wondering Central Illinois. Choosing not to just shag anything I can with no caution taken should be applauded and shows that I am still dedicated to my aspirations. It is either I have not grown up or people just do not care about me. Why believe in someone who does not believe in your system?

At least that is directing me to try and be more independent. If you are not going believe in me, I cannot count on your support. But, as I was writing last night, I crave chaos beyond myself. Here is to holding off the shunning till after I get those nights in October.

The lengthiness of what I wrote about second definitely shows that it deserved more time. My third concern is rather trivial. I did not need to watch an anime last night to review. It seems like I may as well just review all six episodes of  "RIN: Daughters of the Mnemosyne", the first entire anime series that was a blind purchase at regular price.

I suppose it was not totally blind. First off, there was probably a gift card involved, so was it really my money? Secondly, aside from the erotic tones the box art put off, I did look at the production company, Xebec, and recall they were responsible for "Martian Successor Nadesico". How I could I resist seeing what the team behind my second favorite giant mecha series do with this genre? The description gave me "Hellsing" and "Highlander" vibes, so how I could fault this purchase?

And then I got Netflix.

"RIN: Daughters of the Mnemosyne" - Episodes 1 and 2

Check out the rest of this critique at AnimeRuss.blogspot.com - For those curious about anime but hate the geeks

The City of Lost Children - Intercourse "Avatar" (A 2010 Review)

Is there any director who has created richer environments than those of Jean-Pierre Juenet? They are bound to conventional sets unlike the "Star Wars Prequels" and, with the exception of "Avatar" (Which even in 2020, I have yet to view.), he decimates any vision presented by James Cameron (I should state that I have not watched any post "Amelie" films by the director. I do have a Blu-ray for "Mic Macs").

Like Cameron, each of his films is an improvement over the next, but judging that it took 25 years before Cameron offered anything to compare to Juenet's grasp on mise en scene, it is clear who the superior, or at the very least underappreciated, director is. If one is looking for an example of this which is not too French, one should give "The City of Lost Children", a twisted "Peter Pan" like adventure, their undivided attention.

In a broke down world where children represent the lowest class/caste, an evil genius is desperate to obtain the ability to dream without fear. To do this, he has a cycloptic army kidnap the most defenseless children to use as their dreams as templates. If the children present him with nightmares, the are discarded.

The latest group of children includes Denree, the fearless little brother of carnival strong man Mr. One. Desperate to take back the only family he has, One obtains the assistance of Miette, a leader on juvenile thieves. As they search for Little Brother, the two develop a great bond that only true family can have. Will their bond be enough to defeat the evil that they are bound to face?

If you enjoyed "Alien Resurrection" then you will absolutely be blown away by "The City of Lost Children". Since it is beyond easy to assume that may not be the case (an unfair take), you will still enjoy "City".

The superiority as a director when compared to Cameron is apparent between "Alien", my favorite Cameron film and "Resurrection". The environment are far more stunning in Juenet's world, but his story in nothing compared to Cameron's take on xenomorphs. I am a fan of "Resurrection", but it does not do Juenet justice.

"The City of Lost Children" story is brilliant. The only flaw that may exist is that it might feel long. A common trait of French cinema is a need to cover every aspect of the tale. Since every detail of the story is extraordinarily unique, every scene seems worthwhile, especially with multiple viewings.

Accompanying the brilliant direction and story, "City's" may feature the best Ron Perlman performance along side the greatest child ensemble and the director's usual suspects. Everyone delivers superb performances that may leave an audience to ignore how intense the story is. This provides an even greater fairy tale feel. To make sure the audience does not get lost in that vibe, Angelo Badalamenti's score (best known for his work with David Lynch) keeps the reality of the situations grounded.

I do not want to be over praising of Juenet. Much of the credit needs to go to the production designer or Jean Rabasse and fellow credited director Marc Caro for creating a the world with sparingly use of computer generated effects. Perhaps the excessive praise for Juenet stems from him carrying this atmosphere to his later films without having Caro at his side. He has definitely set his style apart from any other major director. This style may have been mastered by George Lucas, but only for a decade (not the 90's or 00's), and one that Terry Gillian seems to be constantly trying to regain post "Brazil".

"The City of Lost Children" is a masterpiece that any fantasy director should look to for inspiration. "Avatar" seems to be the only film in the past decade (review written in 2010) that could come close to this film's majesty, but I doubt James Cameron's feature lacks the uniqueness in story and characters. This is a one of a kind film from a one of a kind director in Jean-Pierre Juenet.

mondoshop.com - The City of Lost Children

mondoshop.com - The City of Lost Children

90-Min. Prime Video - "Stage Fright:" The Stylized Slasher for the Stage

*Blog post started on July 27, 2020.

I must be placing too much pressure on myself to be something worthwhile. To make sure I had new content for today's post, Amazon Prime was activated as was my drinking habit. It started with "StageFright Aquarius" to determine whether "Screen Drafts's" number three giallo film of all time was actually part of the genre (As it turns out, I did not need to write this blog till Wednesday). Two drinks were not enough after the film concluded, so I thought it made sense to wrap up the first season of "The Boys".

The conclusion to the first run of episodes ran a little longer than anticipated. Drunk quesadilla grilling and toast with remnants of Domino's garlic sauce caused a couple of pauses. Deciding that I needed to get a back bump in for old time sakes led to a delay in the viewing. Skimble even put a stop to the broadcast when I went to pet Eva after I lectured him about being codependent towards me. Perhaps I need to be afraid of his need to love me because his accurate pounce on the Apple TV remote to return to the main menu was impressive. This one-eared fluffy monster must have been a rodent killer at some point.

I apologize for being stressed and depressed my feline friend. There are just times I need to register that and receive fewer boops. Reading my old Adrian Tomine journal led to me realizing how my life SEEMS about the same as 10 years ago, sans my stripper friends to distract me. At least my alcoholism has improved. How drunk did I get at the defunct Peoria Theater for the "Drunken Zombie Double Feature"? Was my five hours in front of the TV triggered by my decade old scribbles? Glory days?

In the end, I am glad that I am blogging now as opposed to journaling. Reading my past works, my life needs to be told in a narrative instead of free-flowing. If I have moments where I cannot make out what I was trying to say, it feels like I failed myself. On the plus side, my life does not FEEL as messed up as it once did.

Why can I not appreciate semi-charmed kind of life? It was pretty much the theme of my senior year of high school. Oh yeah, I did not care for high school. Since that album was released in 1998, that means it is associated with two years of narrow-minded Christian classmates. My mind was not exactly woke, but wide enough to women who did not wear long denim skirts were not sluts and the pitch that only Christians go to heaven was bullshit.

Fear of being totally alone has been consuming some hours of my time. There are times that I miss my recent ex, but my codependency never allowed me to be comfortable. Since there are many people who do not want to live alone, it seems like making a connection will be trickier. My method to avoid loneliness was to be chasing some kind of goal, but I have never caught anything, so I should rethink that approach. What I want right now is to try is some truly great hallucigenics to make sense of it all this. Why am I feeling like Stacia is calling me?

It is tough right now because the last three paragraphs was me just trying to make a connection with you, the reader. This is the first time I do not have to edit the middle of the intro rant when I republish this a third time on ninetyforchill.com.

The read on this experience is tough. Am I getting better with my structure or am I still practicing fruitless acts? I can still segue though because I am feeling a bit like a desperate actor trapped overnight with an owl-masked serial killer.

StageFright (1987, 90 minutes)

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

beyondhorrordesign.blogspot.com

Bitch Slap: An ATTEMPT to Emasculate B-Movies

"Kickboxer: Retaliation" How to Warrant 110 Minutes and I, the Retarded Garland

funnyactionmovies.com - 

‘Kickboxer: Retaliation’ Movie Review | David vs. Goliath

*Blog entry started on March 3, 2020

I have been in a fried state since C2E2. It was quite the learning experience. This was an experience that someone who turned 40 during it may have not been ready for. Maybe movie and pro-wrestling geekdom was too much to handle for someone who has close of 20 years of aspiration to make a mark in one of those fields.

It is good to know that I am only 15 years behind Alex Garland. His first novel was at 26 and I had not even started writing fiction until I was 27. Since "The Beach" was based on his vagabonding adventures and I am an underemployed pro-wrestler (I may not be working, but I am already open.), perhaps my mistake was abandoning "With a Capital C (working title)" to complete the script for my low-budget, pro-wrestling zom-com, "Main Event of the Dead". Feel free to email me a request for the treatment or offer advice on how to get it out of development hell at russthebus07@gmail.com. There is an order to things that I did not follow properly.

If only I knew the proper order when ending a relationship. I guess it was destiny for this blog to be hastily put together. It turns out that the amount of head trips that I had typed up was used up. Should I be worried about discussing things with about my better quarter? (Eva the Cat will always get half, but regardless of relationship status, she deserve a percentage.) There is a good chance this blog will not end up on her Facebook feed. But, I will not see her till probably after "AEW Dynamite" airs, so I might end up posting this before "the talk".

It is a new experience for me. My first relationship was in junior high, so to find out a week after the relationship started that she wanted to pursue my best friend, that was no big deal. The second relationship that started 13 years later, there was a lot of drama when it came to how it ended, but my insensitivity towards her and my ignorance about relationships were the root causes. This time around, compatibility may have just worn itself out, and that is a tough thing to accept. Hence why I want to have talk to her, it is just there are stakes this time. I am just wondering if it my ego or my heart that will be broken up.

But the lack of communication over and early bed time from her being upset that she had to fulfill the C2E2 obligations at least allows me to knock out a movie review for ninetyforchill.com. The only problem was determining movies that I have access to see, have yet to see, she might want to see (like "Paradise Hills" with Awkafina and Milla Jovovich), and what I was in the mood for. Relationship turmoil did not seem right for any Gregg Araki films.

My solution, turn that to a physical expression of turmoil in the form of "Kickboxer: Retaliation" a sequel to the 2016 reboot that I really enjoyed. Now this film was one hour and fifty minutes, so you may say, why does this qualify for a website that puts a cap on length at 97 minutes (You will never know how many movies you own that end at 1:38 until you enter an endeavor like ninetyforchill.com.)?

That is because, if you were able to establish a universe in your first film, you get to expand it in your sequels. "John Wick" was just over an 1:45. "John Wick: Chapter 2" was nearly 2 hours 10 minutes. Did we complain about that? No, because Jonathan earned it.

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

How to Watch "Star Wars" - The MCU Order

It is safe to say that I am a "Star Wars" nut who has attempted to express my love for the franchise at fanatical levels. Fanatical in the sense, that if you look at my theatrical viewing history (when I have been single), you can see that I am very forgiving of what many fans will consider low points.

• Episode IV: A New Hope (1982 reissue): 1
• Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1982 reissue): 1
• Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983 original release): 11. I do not know what that says about my parents. They always "complained", but never denied this three year-old.
• Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1985 reissue): 2
• A New Hope: Special Edition: 5. It made Spanish class on Monday's easy. What did you do last weekend (en espanol)?
• Empire Strikes Back Special Edition: 2
• Return of the Jedi Special Edition: 1. I then turned 17, so the world of R-Rated cinema took my attention away.
• Episode I: The Phantom Menace: 12ish (3 viewing including premier and 2 opening day). All the classic movies of 99 came out in the fall, so do not hold this against me. I saw "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" instead of "Wild Wild West" opening weekend, so I deserve some credit despite "Phantom" being my regular Saturday night thing. My dedication to the Church of Lucas needed be expressed. Thank God for "ECW on TNN" to change this up.
• Episode II: Attack of the Clones: 3 (including premier). Bad acting is worse than child acting in terms of Anakin Skywalker.
• Episode III: Revenge of the Sith: 2 (including premier). I was drinking six nights a week and had lost my virginity just seven months before the release. Temptations man.
• The Clone Wars: 1 (opening weekend). This viewing inspired the opening scene of my second untitled screenplay draft. Still drinking six nights a week.
• The Phantom Menace 3-D: 1 (premier). Was it out long enough to have seen it more than the midnight premier?
• Episode VII: The Force Awakens: 5 (including premier and the next showing). After this feature, I have been with my better quarter (Eva the Cat gets half) for the last three releases.

That is 47 viewings, over half of them occurred in my adulthood. I may not be able to call myself an expert or maester like the crew on Binge Mode since I have yet to play all the video games and felt the Legends books pre-Phantom's release were just cash grabs. My fandom defines me as much as religion defines anyone not in the clergy who tries to be holier than thou. Justifies the imperial emblem tattooed on my chest.

What the Disney purchase of Lucasfilm has done is allowing me to become an addict to the fandom. A new movie a year to get pumped about, I find the sensations to be awesome. But what am I to do with this two-year gap that is about to occur?

Once "Rise" leaves theaters in March, the jonesing will begin. All because Disney dropped the ball on how to release these features. They thought they had another Marvel Cinematic Universe and it did not turn out that way, so it has to be restructured. If it is going to be restructured, why not base it off the MCU, and start doing the yearly reissues to avoid the goosebumps based on this.

Everybody wonders, with the mixed qualities among the "Star Wars" features, how is the proper way to introduce them. If we spread the quality about like Disney did once they had complete control of the universe, I think everyone will get over dialogue like "Are you an angel?"

Star Wars: A New Hope

(The Avengers [MCU 2012])

This means we are going to put "A New Hope" in the spot where "The Avengers" was. "Iron Man" was excellent, but the four films between that 2008 film and the 2012 did not feel like must view features. "The Incredible Hulk" was quick to include the Tony Stark cameo in TV ads. A liberal cynic is not going to immediately run to "Captain America: The First Avenger". Does it makes sense to incorporate gods into this universe? I think we were all just accepting "The Avengers" as being de facto "Iron Man 3". We enjoyed all the characters in that film, so we became invested in the MCU at that point, not anytime before.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

(Iron Man 3/Thor: The Dark World [2013])

2013 Marvel may have been the weakest year. "Iron Man 3" seemed like a forced conclusion to his story and "Thor: The Dark World" is not very memorable (especially after "Ragnarok"). We were still high from "The Avengers" though, and I think we would overlook a lesser flick at this point. I will venture to say that "Phantom Menace" is better than these two MCU entries, so my MCU Star Wars format is doing better than the structure I was inspired by. And we are still only doing a film a year at this point.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back 

(Captain America: The Winter Soldier/Guardians of the Galaxy [2014])

2014 may have been the strongest year for the MCU. "Guardians" is pretty much just a ship full of Han Solos, so it is a cool parallel to place the most Solo-centric portion of the Saga in this spot. "Winter Soldier" is also the first film to add stakes to the MCU after the thrill-ride that was "The Avengers". "Empire" is all about stakes.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

(Avengers: Age of Ultron/Ant-Man [2015])

As I am typing this up, it seems like I am inadvertently taking Game Radar's Alternating Order. I think the problem with that is, who wants to watch "Jedi" before "Sith", regardless if "Sith" is the strongest prequel? "Age of Ultron" was the weakest of the "Avengers" films and "Ant-Man" is hard to take as seriously as the rest of the MCU. It is a good time to return to the prequels.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

(Captain America: Civil War/Doctor Strange [2016])

It turns out to be a nice parallel between the two universes. Obi-Wan/Anakin Skywalker break up like the Avengers and things should get really dark in the "Strange" franchise.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

(Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2/Spider-Man: Homecoming/Thor: Ragnarok [2017])

Everything was pretty solid from December 2016 to November 2017. Why change that?

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

(Black Panther/Avengers: Infinity War/Ant-Man and the Wasp [2018])

I doubt anyone would have too much of an issue with three films being viewed before a pivotal one. Look at how many were between "Infinity War" and "Age of Ultron".

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

(Captain Marvel/Avengers: Endgame/Spider-Man: Far From Home [2019])

Pivotal films come in pairs.

Solo: A Star Wars Story

The problem that "Solo" had was that it came out six months after the most divisive film in the Saga. The idiots needed at least another six months and assurances from J.J. Abrams of quality to come.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Deviant Art - Arkay9

https://www.deviantart.com/arkay9/art/Favorite-Star-Wars-and-Avengers-718059022