*Blog post started on August 27, 2020.
And I am immediately regretting the TV/Blu-ray that I watched last night. First off, it is because the schedule for blog publicization (Because I want to see how everything looks, they get published about a week a head of the @maineventzombie tweet storm.) needed to be switched up. That is actually secondly when I try to put everything in chronologic order.
Firstly, I tried to add to my "Chris Memoirs" about how past loved ones seem to determine that I am an agent of chaos while Trevor Noah is discussing actual chaos. It is tough to document how I feel sorry for myself when the only life that I am fucking up is my own. What that lead to was me feeling guilty about my race's responsibility of oppressions towards the downtrodden? Talking myself down saying it is okay because I at least recognize my white privilege and have stood up for change leads me to feeling useless when my parents have a narrative to punish me if I challenge their, "It is what it is mantra".
My life feels like a mess in which I am always wondering if I can actually fix it. I feel like I am pretty useless and it feels like the moment that I left settling on a Caterpillar job at 21 (I am not Trent from my "Memoirs"), no one has put any faith in me to succeed in pursuing my passions. There are no little Scoops wondering Central Illinois. Choosing not to just shag anything I can with no caution taken should be applauded and shows that I am still dedicated to my aspirations. It is either I have not grown up or people just do not care about me. Why believe in someone who does not believe in your system?
At least that is directing me to try and be more independent. If you are not going believe in me, I cannot count on your support. But, as I was writing last night, I crave chaos beyond myself. Here is to holding off the shunning till after I get those nights in October.
The lengthiness of what I wrote about second definitely shows that it deserved more time. My third concern is rather trivial. I did not need to watch an anime last night to review. It seems like I may as well just review all six episodes of "RIN: Daughters of the Mnemosyne", the first entire anime series that was a blind purchase at regular price.
I suppose it was not totally blind. First off, there was probably a gift card involved, so was it really my money? Secondly, aside from the erotic tones the box art put off, I did look at the production company, Xebec, and recall they were responsible for "Martian Successor Nadesico". How I could I resist seeing what the team behind my second favorite giant mecha series do with this genre? The description gave me "Hellsing" and "Highlander" vibes, so how I could fault this purchase?
And then I got Netflix.
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