Donkey Punch: A great what if movie (version 2)

Zombie Cupcake: Donkey Punch

It seems that British cinema will allow for anything to be filmed as long as it has a strong moral message. Oliver Blackburn’s "Donkey Punch" teaches that the western culture derived practice of the missionary is safest while providing the audience with gratuitous nudity (for both genders to enjoy), graphic violence, and "John Carpenter’s Halloween’s" extreme punishment for the partaking in vices.

Tammi’s friends Lisa and Kim decide that she needs a break from the monotony and cheating boyfriends of Leeds, so they take a holiday to Spain’s Mediterranean coast. Being college kids, they decide to party in stereotypical fashion, drinking and flirting. During their bar hopping, they meet up with the four-man British crew of a yacht, and Lisa decides that is the perfect place to party. Drinks are poured, drugs are had, and kinky story are told. With all of the influences, the girls head for the master bedroom for an amateur video session with three of the guys, and they all find out that some of the sex acts are just myths when one of the girls is accidentally killed.

The boys are not supposed to be away from port, and the girls cannot not be allowed release the tape, so the crew has to come up with a way to hide what happened. With all the actions to conceal the crime, distrust reigns over the boat, and it soon becomes every person for themselves. The question soon changes from what story will be told to the authorities to who is going to survive to tell it.

If the intense moments were not so infrequent, "Donkey Punch" would be the ultimate tribute to John Carpenter. It treats all of the characters as if they were in a late 70's early 80's horror flick, but ultimately the “trust no one” attitude will decide the characters’ fate. The violence is clever and the transition from the first to second act is awesome. Problems with the script occur when unity among the characters breaks down, and the audience has to sit through a lot of dragged out attempts to create clever twists.

Carpenter would have killed a character and immediately prepare the audience to get ready for the next death. The audience is anticipating who will turn evil next instead of why they are going to turn to the dark side. Blackburn spends too much time on the why, and the film suffers. It is clear that the story will become boys versus girls, so let us cut to the showdowns. Of course that would make the picture only 75 minutes long, but sometimes less is more.

If you are not in the mood to rent a horror film, "Donkey Punch" is a good psychological alternative. It is by no means Alfred Hitchcock, Brian de Palma, or Christopher Nolan, but it delivers on what most people seek when they go to the video store. Gore, nudity, and a slightly above par script make it tolerable and it has an extra bonus the casual viewer. It is technically foreign cinema, so they have expanded their viewing horizons across the Atlantic.