The Anal Whore of Quotes

I have found that apps kind of suck.

Fun apps with little replay value:

1. Super Pets is fun until you totally pimped out your pussy's pad.
2. Chess is only good if your Dell didn't come with it preinstalled. Well, I purchased Windows Vista Business, so I suppose companies told them to cut the "Office Space" experience from it). 

Poker Apps:

How do you know which free online poker actually pays? All apps seem to try to trick you into giving them cash, so can we get a Chris Moneymaker seal of approval? It isn't like he's cleaning up at the WSoP.

The Resurgence of Text RPGs:

Mafia and Bloodlines...I just never got into the text RPGs. Text Hentai games, well that comes with being an Otaku. It's difficult to believe that youngsters (who weren't around to gain the experience to be preoccupied with 1985) are trying to claim it as their own.

Most importantly, there are no quizzes that make sense. If my sister wasn't waiting to pounce on the computer chair, I'd take ten and give my recently obtained stat knowledge (Thank you ICC) to determine the accuracy of them. To save time they should offer the option to just answer, "I'm a fuck'n pisces." Who knows? I may just be bitter about the "Your Real Life Serial Killer is Albert Fish." result.

These observations fit Flixter's quizzes to, but the ability to make your movie profile enticed me. It is a chance to describe myself though the cinema I love dear, so I want to complete everything that is Russ at the movies. As long as it is restricted to 12 Flicks.

It takes 22 favorite films to create a list that will balance that applications screen, so I got 10 that don't seem to matter when people see my profile. "A Clock Work Orange" and "The Godfather" don't matter?

So, I ended up giving my brief little reviews to the first twelve titles in stars and quotes on the program. This allowed me to discover that being despicable as Peter Hammond, Jim Ferguson (I doubt he is my classmate from MHS) and Shawn Edwards was not difficult. These gents are what are called quote whores. They are the "Inglorious Bastards" who keep telling you to see "Transformers: Rise of the Fallen" regardless of the warnings from your loved ones.

Whoring is usually reserved for the bad films, but you have to have comments ready if you want to successfully join the field of Cable/Satellite movie describers. So for those films I am removing from my top 22, here they are in their brief awesomeness.

1. GoodFellas (1990)
   5 out of 5:
   

   Brilliant acting and dialogue. It presents a great story to put behind the mob.

2. Lat sau san taam (Hard-Boiled) (1992)
   4.5 out of 5
   

   Unforgiving. Brilliantly choreographed. The gold standard of gun play.

3. Pulp Fiction (1994)
   5 out of 5
   

   The perfect storytelling of it's harsh realm can only be matched by its wit.

4. The Usual Suspects (1995)
   4.5 out of 5
   

   Brillant noir with a twist.

5. Trainspotting (1996)
   5 out of 5

   Heroin complete with the hilarity that accompanies it.

6. Chasing Amy (1997)
   4 out of 5
   

   A real love story.

7. Blade (1998)
   3.5 out of 5

   Action, vampires, humor. Who can ask for more?

8. Fight Club (1999)
   4.5 out of 5

   A film where its concepts make it worthwhile.

9. The Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
   5 out of 5

   You can watch this one, and never feel obligated to its sequels.

10. I Heart Huckabees (2004)
    4 out of 5

    You gotta pay attention to this one, and doing so will leave you hearting it.

11. Saw II (2005)
    3 out of 5

    The production is down, but the twist makes it as good or better than Saw.

12. The Wrestler (2008) - Just read the full review I posted. Lazy skimmers.

So I figure the loyal Russ Stevens reader would want to see what I'd do with bad movies. Well, I'm going to try shoving that one into 309diy next issue. Check it out at Co-Op records on August 1.