Why am I delving into the realm of Flannery DVDdome? Why not rent the SciFi Channel Original "Kaw"? SciFi involvement does not guarantee potential. Michael "Fucking" Biehn does. Also, I for one does not abandon my generation's Judd Nelson (who I found out will be in "BS2"...I'm a fan but the initials do sum up the original guilty pleasure) and we have a different approach to the vampire genre.
The box made it sound like Audrey 2 all over again, but with horror and the ability to shag the antagonist. This obviously makes it seem more interesting that the overrated "Little Shop of Horrors (1986), and reminds me why I'm a bigger fan of Michael Crichton's "WestWorld" than "Jurassic Park". Dinosaurs are cool, but they won't get me laid.
So I was pumped at the concept of feeding a sexy vampire (Charlotte Ayanna, the victim in "Jawbreaker"), but during my intermission I found out that "The Boondock Saints 2" was in the can, I am worried that I may end up giving Flanery Milla Jovovich regard, thus a higher standard for the B+Movie (or A-...it's quality is better than THE TRUE B-Movies).
Harry Balbo (Flanery) is a quiet outcast who is ridiculed by his coworkers, and even the police after he calls in an attack by the "Head Ripper" who is plaguing the slum of Los Angeles. Who can blame the cops? A woman who can jump three stories and tear a head off, that is a bit far fetched.
Harry tries to figure out what he saw, and inevitably crosses the path of Tatiana (Ayanna), and this time she samples his blood. The only person who will believe him is the paraplegic Vietnam Vet/Vampire tracker (Biehn) who is demanding that Harry vanquishes the vampire.
Harry isn't a killer, so he thinks he has another way of making sure she won't kill again. Good thing he works at an industrial pipes dealer, and is a quick study when it comes to welding.
Th!nkFilm please: STOP THE DECEPTIVE BOX ART!!!Ayanna leaning over a pool of blood with the film's title in "Conan: The WTF" font does not scream comedy. This will miss lead the horror fans and guys hoping for T and A, and that is unfair because you have a cute little comedy here.
From the get go, The Insatiable can only be viewed as a comedy. Flanery is awkward do I need to say more. Yes, "Powder" could be considered awkward too, but that kid was just plain weird. Harry is a guy who is trying to develop confidence in LA, so there is a big difference.
Flanery plays it well, and his struggle to try and keep Tatiana alive is funny. Since he's a loser, you sympathize with him, and Ayanna showing sympathy to her adversary ends up making her likable and the development of feelings acceptable. Biehn is also able to channel some of his James Cameron roles into his performance which nicely rounds out the cast.
The douche bags at Harry's job kind of phone their performances in. They are the only weak part acting wise because we want to see them fed to the pet because they are assholes. At least with Steve Martin's dentist, he was entertaining and really, really deserved his fate.
I kind of skipped over the comedy. It is virtually all in the story telling, so not a lot of quotable stuff, but it's refreshing to see what would be best described as a screwball comedy. Not to say we do not have a lot of those making the big screens, but the constant reliance of cheap (toilet) humor of those films instead of story disappoints me.
Budget does hinder this project. The special effects are laughable. At least they had a budget for the cutest bunnies to be the victims of Tatiana.
The Insatiable is worth a view by any comedy fan, and a nice lighter piece to any vampire fans collection. The audience is treated to great characters by underrated actors, and has a story that they will develop a real taste for.
Was that closing clever enough. Better go into quote whore mode.
The Insatiable is a comedy you can sink your teeth into.
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