Schrodinger's Cat: Rationalizations of an Existentialist (Part 1: Sharing)

I hate to be part of the statistics, but as far as I can tell the first week of the New Year is the most depressing. At least for 2014, and I at least earned it.

The year of "our" lord two-thousand fourteen (can't we switch to star dates...as a "Star Wars" fan, I hate to suggest it, but SCIENCE) was kicked off by one of my best friends of the past couple of years cutting off the only way to interact with them (Facebook since they moved six hours away). To her credit, it wasn't because they seemingly wrote me off for standing by my liberal stances, but that I brought potential shame to them. I hope they do not think I have written them off because I won't follow them on Twitter as a compromise.

Rationalization 1: Twitter is for followers, not friends.

Twitter should be about promoting yourself (@xxxRiley does a great job of that). It is not for people you necessarily know, but you find interesting. Maybe they are your friends, maybe not, but you get an insight into what they are thinking, to understand them...or buy their shit. Once Twitter started showing you every tweet "@" said person, the feed is impossible to dredge through (in my opinion).

I also liked Twitter more when it was just about the 140 characters. Once people started retweeting stuff about people I do not give a damn about, that may as well be sharing. Sharing offensive political memes from people who are one of the following:

• Too lazy to make the opinion their own.
• Too brainwashed to think about what they are posting.
• Too scared that they cannot get attention unless they put a loud picture on their page.

Warning: My next blog (following the Schodinger series) be about my anti-offensive meme tweets. If you post an uncaring meme on Facebook, I'll have the blog to share in your comments section. I just want you to think about what you said. It is not personal...unless your a right wing Facebook mole.

You may think I believe the left doesn't have nasty and offensive things to say, but I do not. I just haven't seen any. And since I think Facebook should follow the same rules as a bar, I'm not going to be waiving my Red and Yellow pride (the Hulkster wore it, and he was considered a real American). My Facebook avatar will also never be me in my Guy Fawkes or my Obama lucha libre mask.

In principle, I realize I have to follow that friend of mine. They are interesting, I'll give them that. Just hope they do not have their "family-pleasing" Facebook account connected to it, because I have found sharing ends friendships.

Rationalization 2: Sharing ends friendships.

Sadly, it can end real friendships, at least that's what the second abandonment of 2014 is trying to sell me on. My best friend of nearly 10 years decided to write me off because I made her feel like her friendship is a consolation prize to me. All I told her was that she didn't do a damn thing to be a friend because she was always focused on her boyfriend. My opinion doesn't matter about him, but when I'm in a car for six hours round trip to see her and her focus is always on him, how am I not suppose to feel neglected and used?

All I wanted was her time when I made an effort to see her. Or at least a call or text between the times I got to hang out with her.

We had fun, or at least I thought we did. The day ended in a hug and an LOL (the last text she responded to) when I told heer I sharted myself as I made it home with time to shower before work (after digging my car out of snow twice and picking her breakfast up). I didn't find out that she wrote me off until a month after I last saw her.

Her interpretation of the night was that I berated her for having feelings about someone else that I can't justify liking. I never brought him up, she just interrupted while we were watching the French documentary "Mutantes" (to her credit, I was asking questions and offering my opinions about the practicality of legalizing prostitution in the name of feminism during/inspired by the film) demanding that I "LIKE HER BOYFRIEND!!!" Needless to say an argument ensued, but we soon got to laughing and listening to music as we drank till passing out.

I had told her how she neglected me previously prior to this visit (no communication for two weeks and then "When you coming to visit?" while acknowledging that I was a terminal downer) and that I wasn't going to visit until I was in a better state.

I tried to contact her through out the two weeks after my visit, and she didn't respond. My run of being in a "better" state of mind was winding down as my anxiety over my next attempt to further "Main Event of the Dead" (for a treatment of my Pro-Wrestling Zombie B-Movie Comedy, e-mail russthebus07@gmail.com) was coming up. To be focused on the script, I didn't try to communicate with anyone. So a month passes, and I told her that its happening again. She told me to fuck off because I wanted what her boyfriend has.

Do I want a girlfriend who dedicates that much time to me as she does to him? If she has other friends then, no. I just want a friend who would take the time and make an effort to appreciate my mindset and not tell me to give up on who I am. Instead, if I don't have any worth to anyone, I won't have that.

So this is where I'm leaving you for part two of this blog series.