Schrodinger's Cat: Rationalizations of an Existentialist (Part 2: Sub-Subtext Device)

I was bashing my head against my desk at the day job (don't worry, the manager whose office was across from my cubicle took the day off) trying to come up with an opening to the meat of this two part blog. The best I could come up with was an attempt to attach the irony (at least in an Alanis Morrissete sense) of not having the cellular data to use Spotify for some ironic industrial rock (namely Angelspit's "Cubicle") to something, anything that seemed to be a sensible transition from the abandonment discussed previously.

Some how this blog feels like a victory learning that all I needed was to come up with the sub-sub (sub-sub-sub-sub...sub-subtext device) title to inspire the direction. Originally it was going to be called "If I'm the Cat." Despite the cuteness in the my intended blog title, I'm sure that we can get back to a lighthearted attempt at my emotionally dire strait.

Oh for some money for nothing and chicks to redistribute it to. Some one has to make some money from the whimsical concept of a rock n' roll lifestyle or more people will need to be liquidated beyond those who have reality shows on E! and TLC.

I am not coming up with any other music references, so my Penn Jillette homage has lost its fuel, along with my optimism.

Or has it, I seem to be looking on the bright side of every misstep in this writing. Too bad it is going to result in a horrid blog and "Cat: Part 3." There we are, back to my dissatisfaction.

Rationalization 3: Creativity is not intelligence.

I've been dreading this blog because of the writing process. Damn my web design background and its lessons in content length (a web page should not be more that two "page downs"). I should have completed my whining instead of celebrating the proper use of HTML. Then I could move on from telling you about how I cannot move on and write my countdown to extinction this week.

Maybe I should have decided to just play on my assumed intelligence. I say assumed because any one who knows about my first semester of my sophomore year(s) knows I have difficulty with "If/Then" suggestions (and i=-1), so my Physics Feline Philosophy being further alluded to in the title of this blog should signify the possibility of absolute nonsense. But IF you really wanted a car wreck, my assumed intelligence was going to create a new blog dedicated to applying a standing system for Major League Baseball inspired by the table system of the Barclay's Premier League. That would be high school all over again. Excluded from the Tri-Lambda's clique for not being as smart as them, but liking (and probably being further appreciative of) the same things. This time it would be the Sabermetricians.

It wouldn't necessarily be a vain concept, I could use the depressing (because the Cubs are rebuilding) blog to promote what this blog is dedicated to, "Main Event of the Dead. (if you want a treatment of my Pro-Wrestling Zombie Comedy B-movie, email me at russthebus07@gmail.com)" Of course, there is no promotional material because I'm the only one working on this film.

Rationalization 4: Only good promotion brings meaning.

I say this because if "Main Event of the Dead" has no meaning because no one is helping me figure out how to sell it. Sadly, I'm not a female poet or a Swedish reporter, so my death is not going to sell my screenplay. And to their credit, they had completed works while I have completed only a singular work. If the person who raided Steig Larsson PC found drafts, then why is Steig's name on the "Millenium Trilogy (The Girl with the, The Girl Who Played, The Girl Who Kicked)?" I'm just saying, the partner of Steig who received nothing in inheritance could have avoided Sweden's laws by putting her name on the manuscripts.

Fortunately, creativity at least has meaning, even if it is only for the creator. This is actually my conclusion on why there could be a god, too bad people bastardized it by building religions to explain something that "has been widely considered a bad move."

People search for their own meaning to something they did not create. People do so to receive something out of it. Every investment is because of that, the general idea of receiving something to feel good for it, but if do not think about what the creator gets out of it, then you are missing the point, like RELIGION.

Do I go into how "Duck Dynasty" made an atheist out of me? It doesn't seem timely...but I may have to save that for my sharing with assholish Facebook posting (MAY, as this blog explains, I don't like scheduling my releases).

All I can offer is that you can help me finally do something with my creativity, maybe make a living out of it, I'll settle on just getting an in into an industry that people can blame for my suicide instead of themselves. That isn't much of an offer, and has led me to a dark realization that may make you reconsider.

Rationalization 5: Suicide is the only way to dispense justice.

Let me just say, if someone offs themselves, unless they leave hints that you are why they committed the act, you aren't to blame. And even if they leave hints, they're probably just vengeful, so it's not your fault, but can you blame them? They get a chance to end their life with a sense of justice. Justice they deem fit, like justice should be. Justice is for making the victim feel like everything is right, not the victim's family and friends. Friends and family want to see someone suffer, only the victims knows if they should.

Too bad I give a shit. An asshole couldn't resist the suspense of, "will you need to answer for my choice?" If I chose (it's not a slam dunk) to end my life, I know it was because I don't have the worth to justify breathing, not because of other people. You could say that if people cared enough that cannot happen, but if I don't have anything to offer, how can I have any worth?

I should get rid of the means to give vengeance from beyond the grave. Then again, there are a couple of people who deserve to know I don't think well of them. Only a couple, and some local wrestling promoters (they may want to beat me to purchasing skyprowrestling.com or spwrestling.com). Some messages seem worth immortalizing, like the samurai with seppuku and monks with gasoline.

Rationalization 6: Jesus was a poser because of that resurrection bullshit. Why would I want to be associated with that?

So, the sub-subtext device I intended to use has not been explained. I'm a slave to ideal web design. I guess I will get to continue this next week with "Part 3: If I'm the Cat."