MainEventofTheDead.com: 90 Minute Netflix DVD: "Armed Response" or The Turd Seth Could Not Polish

Sunday, May 26, 2019

90 Minute Netflix DVD: "Armed Response" or The Turd Seth Could Not Polish

It is a tough stretch for me. By the end of this Saturday shift, I will be half way between my work, best be sleeping, work schedule. I will get a day off before I am back at work, and then it is doing my best to treat my girlfriend for her birthday in Chicago. Only frustrating thing about that is that I will not be able to get my finer clothes washed by my folks since I will be exhausted come Tuesday. My ability to "best be sleeping" is rather poor.

Tonight, I should not have an excuse to avoid bed. Cold fried chicken awaits me (too bad throwing peppers on top of a sauce makes atomic wings from Wingstop nearly inedible, hence more cooking to be done) at home and my "Fucking Brilliant" journal is at least in the car. My streak of movie reviews will continue, provided I remember to take it from the car to the desk. Because of this, "Last Week Tonight" should be the only programming I need (Why did last night's episode of Comedy.tv have to to feature Maria Bamford? I needed sleep). There should be no need for me to access Amazon Prime to watch an 80's horror movie.

I do fear my satire is falling to the wayside by doing this movie catch up. It makes me reminisce of my second trip through Illinois Central College. Give me due dates, and I will deliver something to be defanged by the competent editor. My righteous butt appreciated the awareness during the second half of my time at ICC's newspaper, The Harbinger, but it was fun putting the reputation of the paper on the line with pro-steroid pieces.

Steroids, that is probably a good spot to stop tonight. Dolph Ludgren, Michael Jai White, Danny Trejo; these are all stars in the journal. The only other thing on my mind is how The Wrestling Compadres may have managed to prevent me from cancelling them for another month. Praise the "Tom Magee" documentary on the WWE Network while bad mouthing me for not wanting to watch a booking turd like "Money in the Bank" inspires to me to want to engage in their tit for tat, despite the number of times I have been edited for their own su-su-su-su-spect devices. Thrice, pro-feminism views had been cut.

All these movie reviews I am teasing have wrestling parallels, so I should stick to the transition, but when I think about all the times I have been edited, it makes me wonder if I should just try to podcast. My stuff looks good written, but how does it work for the audiophiles? Anchor (thanks for the tip Spotify) says it is easier than ever to find out.

Podcasting does seem to be about talking in circles, so my writing should be fine. At least I know it is better than that in..."Armed Response," the WWE film where I regret giving Seth Rollins 90 minutes to shine a turd, hence why I will not let his A.J. Styles's match inspire me to watch twice the poor writing to get to.

Check out the rest of this review at NinetyForChill.com - A More Acceptable Runtime.

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The Undrafted and Wrongfully Drafted

"Bull Durham" was not drafted on the Baseball Draft (A film that can only be drafted at #1)
"No Fear of a Black Hat" on the Fictional Band Mini-Mega Draft
The entire George Lucas Draft
"The Birdcage" instead of "La Cage Aux Folles" on the Drag Draft
"Road Trip" was not even mentioned during the Road Trip Draft
"Major League" instead of "Drop Zone" on the Wesley Snipes Draft
"Black Swan" instead of "Mermaids" on the Wynona Ryder Draft
"Akira" instead of "Ghost World" on the Comic Book Movie (Non-Super Hero) Draft. Tetsuo is a Supe.
"Now You See Me" instead of "Diggstown" on the Con Artist Movie Draft
"The Onion Movie" instead of "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask" on the Sketch Comedy Anthologies Draft
"The Big Lebowski" not being marked eight on the Coen Bros. Draft
"Labrynth" or "Dark Crystal" not receiving the number 1 or 2 spot in the Jim Henson Draft
"Stage Fright" on the Giallo Draft. It is a slasher despite the presentation.
"Assault of Precinct 13" and "Prince of Darkness" Instead of "Escape from New York" and "The Thing" on the John Carpenter Draft
"Con Air" instead of "US Marshalls" and "Universal Soldier" instead of "Time Cop " on the 90's Action Draft
"WarGames" instead of "Spies Like Us" on the Cold War Draft
"Traffic" instead of "Side Effects" on the Steven Soderbergh Draft
"Fight Club" instead of "The Virgin Suicides" on the 1999 Draft ("Suicides" made the Actor Directorial Debut Draft)
Any Kirk Douglass instead of "The Shining" being on the Kubrick Draft
"Return of the Jedi" instead of "Tokyo Drift" on the Threequels Draft (there's only one "Return," okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi.")

Deserves a Second Chance

Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016).

I find the DC movies, or at least Zack Snyder, was trying to bring comic books to the big screen as opposed to adapting comic books for the big screen. If you read, (or watch the excellent animated adaptation of) "The Dark Knight Returns", it is a very slow build to the battle between the Bat and Supe. This is regarded as one of the best threads in comics.

As a guy who fell in love with wrestling in the 1980's, the very methodical showdown is what I loved. It's a love letter to comic book fans who read and note every detail and want to try figuring out the plot before the character do. Come at the flick this way, and I think you will get something out of it.

Tropic Thunder (2008)

This is a feature that dares you to be offended. When director Ben Stiller is that forthcoming like Robert Downey Sr. was with 1969's "Putney Swope", an audience saying that something is in poor taste, hence not funny, means they are afraid to make a mockery of a concept.

My own experience with junkies bankrupting me allows me to thoroughly enjoy Jack Black's making addiction seem ridiculous. Robert Downey Jr. nails his taboo performance and I would say helps the call for actors from a demographic to be the first people called on for the roles representing them. As for the "Forest Gump" knock off jokes, they serve as a way to ridicule us for what we accepted (and encouraged) as fine a decade prior. The narrative that controls the pace in the second act can drag, but the content that is delivered cannot be cut.

Sunday, May 26, 2019

90 Minute Netflix DVD: "Armed Response" or The Turd Seth Could Not Polish

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