Too long, too drunk to tweet, the good or bad taste of "Main Event of the Dead"

A lot of self reflection (and yes I know my to my true friends find that redundant) about the lack of knowing myself [maybe I'm the one...sad "The Matrix" reference I know and since fat people exist (I am working on removing myself from their numbers), we are really in the real world] has consumed my thoughts of late.  I was about to have posted an edited an e-mail to my ex-girlfriend who was not from Morton Jr. High School requesting her to think of me as less of a dick, but thankfully the inability to state my most recent, potentially tasteless thought in 140 characters has resulted in me questioning the exploitation of the people whom beyond CM Punk who make pro wrestling relative.

To help promote "Main Event of the Dead" and a Kickstarter project for it, I was thinking about doing the Zombie Crawl (June 10, 2012 Farmington Road, Peoria, IL) with Road Warrior Hawk face paint.  It would just be cheaper that putting one of my lucha libre mask though hell.

I mean, I have bastardized the legend of Black Shadow enough when I created my DIY Union Jack mask for "El Futbol Loco."  Do I really want to tear up an El Santo mask?  I just talked myself out on  modifying it for Rabbit Mask (or Killer Cottontail, your choice).

I suppose I could try to get a Blue Blazer mask, but that would definitely be too much.  Suppose I could get away with Black Tiger though.  How many Smarks are out there really?

No, "Main Event of the Dead (Feel free to ask for a script treatment at russthebus07@gmail.com)" will not feature zombified tributes to wrestling greats, but if any hack writer can make money off Chris Benoit why cannot I, a clinically depressed, nonjudgmental fan like myself make a buck?

That iss because I am a man of good taste (I said I was having an identity crisis, not arrogance).  Still, if I could paint up a Steen or Richards in some white make up to pay tribute to perhaps the best technical wrestler since WM III, would people really be that upset?

"Main Event of the Dead" script does not have any characters inspired by the guys who get pro wrestling a line on the CNN ticker, but do fans want to see that?  Pro wrestling is a rather shameless business, so, as a guy who appreciated New York taking Katie Vick as far as they could, should I consider being totally shameless?

To be true to my liberal, socialist ideals, no.  But, I may run out of ideas.

Zombie Stall...Any pointers on anxiety?

My life seems to be dependent upon fiction.  Or is it the other way around?

I am passing up a big opportunity to spread the word about my screenplay, but I cannot bring myself to participate in the Third Annual Zombie Crawl in Peoria.  Anime fans are lacking among my friends, so I cannot blame it on "Welcome to the NHK," I just have to come to the realization that I'm just a helpless fanboy, and it is affecting all aspects of my life.

I say all aspects of my life since "Main Event of the Dead" is the only thing that proves my life has meaning.  Again, just like the Japanese cartoon.  At least when my life was surrounded by heroin addiction related media, I at least was pseudo strung out not to pay as much attention to my futility.

I am in a weird place right now.  It is not getting to know myself, it's about knowing why I can be such a mess.  Because of this, I start to learn what I can and cannot do.  Like why I treat my wrestling career like a Floridian believing it is better to have a vegetable on life support than a child who can breath on its own.  Great thing I have this blog to write about how I am like a Morton moron (cannot resist alliteration to describe a local cocky conservative).

Stupid still to mock my right wing friends, since I am relying on my friends to get this movie going.   Then again, I doubt they will help.  They should not be big on charity.

They maybe right this time.  I may need a miracle.  But because that I cannot be stagnant and wait for god to pick my number when he skips so many, I am begging for some pointers to get over my fear of crowds.

Hopefully it is just a fear of crowds...sorry...hordes of zombies.

If you cannot get some nonprescription methods to overcome anxiety, then maybe a C-note or two when my Kickstarter project starts.

Better close this recent blog out for now.  May need to continue it on http://harshside.com.