Does humor end with well thought out dead kid jokes?
Would not the last thing a "Make a Wish" kid want to see is the celebrity that they wished to see? They know after the meeting is over, it is back to that pesky terminal label. Pro wrestler John Cena provides the most wishes. Maybe it is having 23 to 30 years of experience on these kids, but if I was meeting my wrestling hero, I would like them to end my life with their finishing move/hold. What better way to end my days than to party with the Hulkster and then get leg dropped to heaven?
Is it still too soon to make Chris Benoit jokes?
And I wonder why I am single. No really? Surely there is someone on OKCupid that is game for addressing such a query, appreciating the effort and having a little faith to spend, at worst, three hours with me. With no more JRR Tolkein adaptations being prepped for the big screen, how can I expect more time?
Maybe this is the point to give up on the online dating. I would like limit this consideration to the free dating sites, but Zoosk left a bad taste in my mouth. Perhaps if the site would have lead me to a scenario where I could literally have found a bad taste for said mouth, I would think differently
My latest exploration of OKCupid left me with too many words to tweet and too few to blog. Worst of all, it leaves me in a tough spot in trying to figure out how to reiterate my planned YouTube video, "Guy Does Finishing Moves on Zombies," to promote "Main Event of the Dead," my proposed pro-wrestling/zombie comedy. For a treatment of this B-Movie screenplay, send me an e-mail to russthebus07@gmail.com.
Maybe I should not blame online dating for my loneliness. I might just be in love with my own text. Hence the re-re-issue of one of my more popular blogs "40 Years is Enough." Who knows? Maybe this will give you a better insight into my talent as a writer.
If you get to call yourself a porn "star" because you screw on film once, surely having an agent and more too offer than Macaulay Culkin (John Hughes missed out on three stellar, authentic Midwestern performances) allows me to claim that, at one time, I had more importance than a waiter with a script in Los Angeles who would not be filmed when they blew a producer to get a meeting.
That rant should indicate that Dad and I indeed went to see Auggie Smith at the Jukebox Comedy Club. His set featured the best satire I've seen since late 90's Dennis Leary. He may have even been more poignant than the Bostonian.
This means I am going to have to devote my time to catching up on Bill Hicks instead of writing with my limited spare time between the two jobs. Since writing about my exploits with unattainable women has been the latest subject on my mind to document, a little research into the true art of post Lenny Bruce satirical stand-up sounds like the best option for me and my perceived readership. Too bad the two jobs also prevented me from having the time to formulate a message to promote Smith's ability as he had two more shows that needed tickets sold this past weekend.
Fortunately, the two job thing maybe short lived. Scheduling difficulties may result in the one that takes up the most time while paying the least (the statement can only be considered the opinion of a Kohl's employee [start date 4/30/15]) becoming incompatible for both parties. At least I got the heavy discounts and a line of credit out of it. Perhaps the hotel needs to develop one of those points programs with attached employee discounts. It may make the thumb-twiddling seem more like Mr. Burn's "excellent" pose.
What's fortuitous about the situation is that it allows me more time to tighten up my hold-to-hold wrestling and get use to adrenaline highs while training at the DTM Dojo (it's that or get use to heroin in my system again, but that dragon chasing is tough). But with a booking in Peoria or Chicago being two-to-three months from realization, I need some creative outlet to put the bumps towards.
Thus, why not promote "Main Event of the Dead" by taking the "Shaun of the Dead" approach to basically recreating the famous(?) "Guy Who Does WWE Finishing Moves on Girls" YouTube video as my crowd-funding test reel. Just replace the girls with zombies, suggest the premise of the feature a bit, and feel rewarded that I took out the misogyny the original YouTube video featured. Who knows? It may end up being better than the Jim Ross, Paul Heyman and Madusa starring sequel (shown below).
My only issue with the strategy is, I will probably have to get killed a couple of times before we even start shooting. After watching "Franklyn*," I further appreciate that t'he dreams in which I am dying are the best I have ever had,' but I only have so many lucha masks to destroy in the name of cinema (bad taste to use my Pegasus Kid and Blue Blazer hoods?). And...I planned to give myself one of the bigger roles (I have established my stardom).
I should step away from my own dilemma that this promotional effort places me in (I have realized that this is a B-Movie and a horror flick, so continuity doesn't necessarily prevent my original self-casting plans) and discuss what I need to make this video work.
The "Main Event of the Dead" Test Reel Needs:
Someone with some makeup or special effects experience.
The true antagonist of the feature is a woman, so an actress to set up the premise of "Main Event of the Dead."
Three or four wrestlers to take the finishing moves.
One or two wrestlers to deliver the moves.
A wrestling ring with a canvas that can afford to be left a little messy. If we can get extra from the crowd-funding campaign, we will make replacing it a priority.
Since this is an effort to try and make this feature a reality, I can really only afford to compensate what ever is spent to make this video. I am willing to negotiate terms on what compensation will be for performances before the reel goes online. If whatever raised can cover the compensation agreed to, even if I do not reach the goal to produce the film, compensation will be had.
If you need a treatment of the script for "Main Event of the Dead" please e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.
So a month away from blogs, and I am back without too much self-loathing. Guess I just needed sometime away from myself...or a one nighter with a dancer 13 years my junior. The wrestler in me really needed "You Still Got It Chants" to make that night absolutely perfect.
*A British Film from 2008 featuring Ryan Phillippe and Eva Green that tries to bring an early Alex Proyas film into a somewhat realistic realm--very good, but why didn't director/writer Gerald McMorrow try to hand it off to Proyas, thus keeping "The Dark City" director away from the typical Nicolas Cage performance that was "Knowing?"
