"Willow" - Can We Get a LucasFilm Remake?

*Blog post started on July 30, 2020.

It is payday and I am doing alright. When I fell asleep the previous night with no "medications", things must be getting better. Sadly, my Jedi practice is slacking. There is a set of medical appointments, so I am thinking to the future. And there has not been a good morning to check my blood sugars.

I may be feeling better, but I would appreciate some input outside of myself. My Accu-Chek would not approve of my Sunday drinking, mac and cheese and bread Monday, Tuesday drinking, ice cream and breaded Buffalo wing Wednesday. Thursday is not looking good as I try to eat all the food before restocking my groceries. The menu is pigs in a blanket or Jack's Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza (The best desperate/frozen pizza because the toppings are just cheese, beef, and bacon. It is what the pizza is called. Screw DiGiorno and Red Baron for making research the three meats for each variant of three-meat pizza). Predicting a reasonable blood sugar level at 8:30 am would be silly.

Things can all change next month. July was a three check month. I think I have everything financially settled down. Which leads to my worries. Things just cannot be this good.

I suppose I am of the mindset that if things can be better, why are we not working towards making them better. At least that is my excuse for quickly restarting role playing games after a week. There are enough Pokémon storage options to not worry about that. It may also explain my spending, usually in terms of electronics. Good thing I do not have the space for another television. Two per room is enough.

Yes, I am going to buy a PS5 (Why the two bedroom TV's have an HDMI slot open and why my Xbox 360 is 1080i using component cable adapter), but there is not much else out there to grab. Well, a new phone would be great. Damn the family plan. I have to refer to my folks when it comes to upgrades, hence bringing dread that they will cut me off grocery and oil change wise in exchange for that. If you look hard enough, eventually your fears will be realized.

You just have to remember to be self confident. There is always a way to overcome, just be calm and follow through.

Ya panic in your head.  Ya give yourself a couple a seconds of panic, then you get a grip and deal with the situation. "Reservoir Dogs" via Script Slug.com.

If Steve Buscemi's Mr. Pink is a little too extreme to act like how about Billy Barty in letting us know the magic resides in us? That sounds like a line you would see in a movie directed by Richie Cunningham. But now I cannot help but ponder what Quentin Tarantino's "Willow" would look like. I would take that as his 10th and final film.

Before I review the way too ahead of its time feature, just a thought from @catbusruss:

Watching Ron Howard's "Willow". Love the huge cast of little people, but I wonder. Did Jim Henson create the Muppets to eliminate the need for the Hollywood dwarf?

Willow (1988)

The Witch Queen Bavmorda is poised to rule all the lands, but a prophecy may undo her ambitions. It has been foretold that a girl, a lost princess, shall be born and soon bring an end to the Queen's reign of terror. With a powerful army at her command, the queen orders all pregnant women to be rounded up. If they bare a daughter who has the mark of the princess, the child will exiled to the Netherworld, never to pose a threat. Murdering babies tends to be a rallying cry of the poor, so when the child is born, the mother's nursemaid is quick to leg it out the castle.

Our initial heroine makes it a great distance before the dogs finally catch up to her, but she had the chance to Moses mail the child down the river to a village of dwarves. The child is discovered by the children of Willow Ufgood, and despite the struggling farmer and amateur sorcerer's reluctance, is quick to be adopted by the family. Unfortunately, it is not long before a hound arrive at their village. The beast is dispatched, but being little people, they cannot hold off any many more beasts or army with any confidence.

Since Willow took the child in, he must take the child out of the village and back with the normal-sized folks. The sorcerer High Aldwin will not let him leave on this quest alone, so he assigns his best friend Meegosh, two warriors, and the village leader, Burglekutt. Too hedge his bet, Aldwin provides Willow with magic acorns as well.

In a couple of days, they find a bandit named Madmartigan left to die in a crow's cage. He offers to take the child if they release him. Burglekutt decides that their task is completed regardless if Willow surrenders the child and heads home with the armed escort. With Bavmorda's war coming to them, Willow eventually leaves the child in Madmartigan's care.

As he and Meegosh head home, it takes little time to regret their decision. The fairy-sized Brownies have kidnapped the child and soon capture the dwarves as they attempt a rescue. As these tiny nemeses amuse themselves with Gulliver-esque torture, they are ordered by fairy queen Cherlindrea to stop. She reveals that the reacquisition of the baby, Elora Danan, was the child's will.

Willow is now her chosen protector. Cherlindrea provides the magic wand of Sorceress Fin Raziel to him. If he returns it to that cursed adversary of Bavmorda, good may have a chance at triumphing. Brownies Rool and Franjean will guide Willow to the cursed's island. It just seems serendipitous that their paths will cross with Madmartigan. All the dominos are lining up, so the will of the good is not going to get a better chance to win the day. Surprising since Willow is short for a dwarf.

"Willow" is another example of the ambitions and fandom of George Lucas. Lucas obviously wanted to adapt J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" with this undersized protagonist, but the rights were not something he could grab. It is odd because high fantasy was definitely hit or miss in the 80's, but if anyone could handle it, Lucasfilm had the best credentials.

Millennials and Generation Y like to argue (from what I have gathered as Gen-X bank teller) what the greatest cinema trilogy is: "Star Wars" or "Lord of the Rings". "Willow". "Willow" shows me that it is indeed "Star Wars" because the film's effects hold up for the most part. If only it was filmed in the time where every "blockbuster" concept is set get a trilogy (Unless Disney owns it. I for one want Ridley Scott's "Alien: Awakenings").

I do not know if the character of Willow is strong enough to carry a franchise. Lucas must have been aware of this and wisely concludes this tale in under two and a half hours. The special effects still hold up for the most part today, with the exception of the Brownies and Fairies who were layered on in post. Even the effects that too not hold up deserve credit because we have just gotten better at integrating the same concepts. 

This is a Lucas project, so it has to innovate something whether it works for the story or not. Fortunately, this is still in a time prior to Steven Spielberg creating fully digital creatures. Hence, 1988 was too soon for Jar Jar ambitions.

Back in 1988, I did not really have any interest to see this feature. This eight year old saw the Lucas name attached and just presumed he was trying to make "Star Wars" with swords and horses. And I was proven right, but that is not a bad thing. Because the story has a solid conclusion like "A New Hope" if it did not work, we would not need "The Empire Strikes Back". "Willow" did not make the bank it needed which is a pity, but it was just great seeing that Ron Howard and George Lucas could still capture the same magic as the space opera. Let us be glad they cannot screw this feature up with another two parts.

With all that said, and after the solid work that was "Solo: A Star Wars Story", we know that Ron Howard has only improved in his directorial abilities. Why not give him another go at a film that only Spielberg could have done better with? Who would have a problem with that? It is not like we are digitally recreating the story. If not Howard, how about the other Disney "Star Wars" directors who did not get canned. Could you imaging the subversion Rian Johnson could make of this?

"Willow" is a solid high fantasy feature that was released before it was cool to tackle wizards and elves. It could have set the tone for 90's blockbusters if it would have made hundreds of millions, but that would probably mean trilogy movies would ruin the indie scene without VOD to save the day. George Lucas fans should be grateful that we this film solidified his genius and parents should be glad they have a means to warm up kids for Middle Earth.

Unless you are not open to none Tolkien fantasy tales, this film is more worthwhile than "The Force Awakens". "Willow" is worth a 'member berry.

Nerdy Life of Mine - "Willow: Chronicles of the Shadow War"

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