What's Wrong with Wrestling (Part 2): Theater...If you can get past my Narnia bull shit.

I actually got back to my blog...and to a lesser extent Facebook (I got to promote)...to review's Michael Biehn's second directorial effort "The Victim," but I promised to address wrestling again in the last blog. It's a hindrance, but I need discipline (and some high impact athletic activity in the Peoria area, but like anyone's going to help me with that...but when you are Peoria wrestling).

I also need to get away from using parentheticals. My limited audience does not seem to appreciate my attempts to pay tribute to C.S. Lewis, but its not like I can praise the Christian overtones and racism of the latter "A Horse and His Boy." Thinking about the overtones, it leads me to wonder what if the
"Chronicles" was written by Charles M. Shulz. They already share a Lucy. Just swap her with Edmund and let Linus visit Mr. Tummus first. And have Aslan go "maw maw maw maw." If that doesn't sum up the Christian hierarchy...

Back to the subject at hand...well at least my transition from the work of James Cameron's greatest actor.

"The Victim" was an amusing Netflix DVD, but I think the man who out shined Charlie Sheen in "Navy SEaLs," missed the point of Grindhouse. It was done on the cheap, a plus, but with out any over-the-top gore and only mild female objectification, the film is just actors trying to cover up an overly straight forward story. After an appropriately shocking opening scene, a Grindhouse director needs to focus on keeping up the shock value or desensitize the audience to it. Otherwise, the film's value is possibly lost at breakneck speed.

What probably kept my attention the entire film is because the actors (at least its leads) do a good enough job making us care about them. But, as I stated earlier, Grindhouse (at least my opinion) is not supposed to be about the acting.

This concept is the same with professional wrestling.

Ever since Vince McMahon introduced the concept of Sports Entertainment everyone can get overly involved with the business. This would bring us David Arquette and Jay Leno defeating champions, Johnny Fairplay ruining independent promotions, money marks like VKM, Dixie, and Jason Pemperton (a bit of a stretch), but worst of all, guys who cannot protect the business, like JP.

Bringing it back to Sky Pro...I'll go further back to Next Generation Wrestling, you could count the guys who could back up their claims of being a bad ass on one hand. Big Pappa, Norman "Apocolypse" Calloway and Cory "I'll call the cops instead of have your ass kicked" Carter were not among them. My experience on the indies, if they aren't a brand, don't be afraid of picking a fight with them.

The only reason I watch professional wrestling is to see the guys who make you believe that wrestling is a sport, or made me think that you had to be tough as nails to do it. Raw was Jericho and I am always a Hulkamaniac (it wasn't that hard to make a four year-old believe), but ECW was what got me into wrestling.

Hell, I should be considered a Paul Heyman guy because I spent every Friday watch their program instead of living the P-Town White Trash ideal. Getting drunk on less than Frat party grade beer and knocking some girl up so they would have a reason to be blown up from 17 forward.

Thanks ECW for letting me get to know Stacia Hardin instead.

I couldn't be the best athlete, but I could be a great fighter, so I figured there would be a future for me because of that. Instead, the defenseless politicking left me a further anxious mess of a man.

I'm not questioning the toughness of self-proclaimed sports entertainers who have paid there dues, but their faith in the terms allow the money marks to screw the business up. They focus on gimmicks and cheap heat to get over, and why would you ever need to take a bump to do that?

It is playing a role instead of being a believable fighter. The best are the latter in the previous statement. I'd rather see the best instead of Santino Marella and the Great Kahli versus 3MB...or TNA wrestling.

The kids are always going to watch pro wrestling. It's time they got good pro wrestling. This way, it won't be bad pro wrestling when they turn 18. They'll have their heroes, and they'll still believe in them, if they were always believable.

My only other solution would be to replace Olympic Wrestling with Olympic Pro Wrestling. Dan Gable didn't need to be Iowa's coach to make a living after his one loss. He knew Verne Gagne.

And he could have stretched the shit out of the Hulkster.

What's Wrong with Pro Wrestling (Part 1): Sky Pro Wrestling

So, I've been desperate for inspiration to keep me distracted from the pointlessness of existence. Sometime you find it where you expect it. This one came as I was relieving the bladder, fretting over what am I to do with the Internet at work when I'm too broke to shop on eBay.

Peoria wrestling was part of the reason I decided to write "Main Event of the Dead." I figure it was going to be a chance to finally give a bunch of guys who would never see stardom by working for sabotaging promoters/untrained wrestlers (I knew a few good bookers/promoters, but they never claimed to be trainers...and to Ian Rotten's credit, his claim was valid). Despite how I despise their motives, there were roles I intended for the Forest City fakes (the center pieces, not the kids who worked for them in Mason County). With so many movies called "Zombie Apocalypse," NC had a role (regardless that he never watched or knew anything in regards to WCW or ECW), until he said he never heard of All American Wrestling. JK had a role all the way up to the point I found out that he was a racist, conservative, hateful, delusional buffoon (fortunately, I have other ideas on who can play CM Chunk © 2011-2013 Russ Stevens).

Sadly, I over estimated the aspirations of the victimized Peoria wrestling community) as they decided to rejoin together at the behest of the same guys who conned them. These kids were conned for the sole purpose for the promoters to be stars in their own mind.

These con artists (which actually degrades the title, but they would innocent enough to be called hustlers and under-educated to be carnies) didn't want to learn how to a respect for the business (and why should they if Steve Lucas calls you hall of famers) because it would expose that they were cowards playing hero in front of their friends. If you worked outside of Next Generation Wrestling, you would remind them of what kind of posers they are.

If you want knowledge of cowardness:

• A performance by the Overtaker at Peoria's Fight Night exposed the inability to handle himself if shit got real.
• When I tried to work out mutual unprofessional behavior with the next promoter, he threatened to call the cops on me instead of do what a "wrestler" should have done (fight or rely on the locker room that supposedly hated me). To his credit, this guy just couldn't deal with not being right, but I'll delve into that further in "Part 2."
• You receive constant Facebook post from a champion about his trips to the hospital because of his health issues. If you aren't healthy enough to safely fake it, what can you do if someone wanted to prove how weak you really are (his constant right wing, illogical gun posts doesn't leave anyone thinking your brave, especially when he out weighs the local super hero by three times).

If they were able to make Peoria wrestling important, see "What is there to Hurrah about," I cannot fault their

The Nose Bleed Seats - Central Illinois Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame (you owe me for the traffic Crimefighter) inductions. Unfortunately, there are marks who must feel they deserve to be a part of it without taking a risk.

Which brings in the backstabbing (originally had me invest in a promotion that never started) promoter/photo lab guy who shares power in Sky Pro [I can't refer to his initials because, he needed his name to be associated with his character (I was more than willing to go with Thai Durden, and after Tyler Black, I wish the bully booker wasn't so lazy about designing gimmicks)]. A guy who used "LOL" in conversations where I prostrated myself as far as I could for a chance to work for his promotion without charge. As the only one professionally trained first generation wrestler (can't deny Ric Osborne), I just wanted to do what I love to do without anxiety attacks. Something to look forward to instead of being stuck in a stagnant existence, only surviving on hope that someone will help me with making "Main Event of the Dead" a reality.

But, it's not the first time that he decided to make himself feel superior by mocking someone's mental condition (granted, the only other time was to me, so he may have something personal against me).

So indie wrestling south of I-80 in Illinois is for cowards, the lazy types who try to hide it and the pseudo-clever types who want to control the perception. It's easier than making it in the business like Mick Foley and Seth Rollins did driving for hours on weekends or relocating to the coast like Jake Manning to wash away the stench of a bad wrestling area.

Before Springfield jumps on me, I'm not try to say Springfield is bad now, but it was clever promoting and not their trainers that made their shows worthwhile. It wasn't a destination for talent to go out of their way to  work for.

In conclusion, if you can steal a pay day from Sky Pro Wrestling, I'll admire you for that. But if wrestlers are supposed to police themselves, we should get rid of the phony tough guys...who haven't paid their dues.

I'll let you know when "What's Wrong with Pro Wrestling (Part 2): Theater" is finished.

Fans or Girls? A query for the reluctant 9 to 5

And the alternate Japanese title: "A Call for Nihilists: Fuck Me or Friend Me"

I just want to give the reader a heads up this is kind of a psycho-analytical work, and the title is the conclusion. I found the journey to the conclusion to be fun, but the lack of known readership since 2009 has left me to conclude that many of you find me whiny. This conclusion leaves me a little bitter, but you've known that aspect of me longer than I have, so what gives. A little feed back, or dedication to the cause of "Main Event of the Dead." (Email russthebus07@gmail.com for a treatment of this pro-wrestling zom-com).

russthebus07@gmail.com

"The high road is pretty to look at, but you'll have a hard time marching your armies up it."

I thought if I was ever going to open a blog up with a "Game of Thrones" quote, it would be from a profound character, but I guess the show is not so profound. Guess I'll quit running the blu-rays to "entertain the cat" while Mom is cleaning my apartment. It is not great subliminal material.

Then again, Mom's lack of fandom to the "A Song of Ice and Fire" or J.R.R. Tolkien is due to the exploitation of short people. Better step away from this talk about mothers (a weak George R.R. Martin transition) and get to why I opened this journal entry with the quote of a sadistic character...even if it does feel like a waste of Freudian psychology (word/phrase association, mommies, sadistic influences).

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

Mentally Unemployed: A call for sponsorship or idiots.

I have found that nihilism and depression may be curable by the stupidity of the Internet. You find something that sounds so ridiculous, you feel justified having a sense of joy knowing that you must be smarter than a lot of people. Too bad that a lot of these morons are getting paid to show off their ignorance, but your sense of righteousness tells you that posting your opinion will set things right.

So I am a clinically depressed nihilist with delusions of grandeur. I guess I should appreciate any path to a feeling of self worth. The only problem is that you lose those "friends" responding to their ignorance. And you realize that the world may be hopeless when they express their lack of understanding and their feeling of entitlement to hateful feelings before they run out of defense for their inferiority complex.

Then they leave you feeling empty. Not because the unfriending has cost an aspiring writer an audience, but the lack of inspiration. You end up with a Facebook feed that does not frustrate you (with the exception of girls so desperate to feel beautiful they post over three selfies a day), so what in the world is their for you to fix

No reason to write, you're stuck mentally unemployed. And it feels like you're going to fall victim to the perceived pitfalls of real unemployment. Good thing the mental joblessness lacks the government support to become a victim of the capitalist system.

I am too poor to consume myself with drugs (I don't have a dealer's phone number anyhow). What am I to do to justify my existence? Religion is not an option and you got to be able to help yourself before you can help others.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

A response from a Cena hater...sorry, a McMahon hater (even more pointless).

Since I cannot e-mail Wrestlezone's Chris Cash to respond to his "Yo, Cena Haters...Bring It" editorial, I figure I'll try making this rotting fruit of a frustrated blogger into a chance to draw flies to my Zombie Wrestling concept. I doubt it will get much attention, but for self esteem sake, it'll make me feel accomplished.

John Cena does not suck as a wrestler. I agree with C.M. Punk bringing up that he was just a failed body builder and an asskisser, but the guy's skills aren't bad, his mic work is fine, and he has the look (that statement may make my current job the third one where I pull the trash bin from under my desk to vomit into...if only the system didn't go down to not give me the free time to blog). He just sucks the life out of wrestling fans who remember January 23, 1984. I mention that date just to pin down the demographic that is complaining, a demographic that is completely irrelevant.

Vince McMahon is trying to get the attention of the only demographic that matters, 18-34 (those little bastards are just a bonus). Poor parenting is the only reason any fan in this demo would yearn for a return to the Attitude Era, so where would that leave them in terms of good guys to cheer for? Where we are now, John Cena.

Should John Cena still be at the top. I'd say no, but I remember growing up in the time of Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. Stars so loud and in your face, the demanded and deserved our attention. They weren't trying to be human, they were trying to be gods (a concept that made JBL). The Attitude Era may have let us know these stars were human, but performers like The Rock and Steve Austin handled themselves in a way that we wanted to emulate. They were greater men, and we all want to be great.

John Cena wants to be just a man instead of a great man. And that is when "Star Trek" needed a reboot.

So Cena needs a reboot to be tolerable to an audience that does not matter. The premier demographic may get sick of him, but there are always little kids who are no longer suppose to like athletes with attitude (why CM Punk couldn't take the ball as a baby face), so Cena is the only option for parents to let their kids cheer. From a creative stand point, John Cena is evidence that wrestling is broken. But McMahon controls an industry that is all about marketing. Wrestling is broken, but John Cena isn't. As the old saying goes, "If it isn't broke, don't fix it."

What makes me find Cena to be hatable is that he will have a resume that will make not only him look great, but McMahon godlike. His body builder physique is what McMahon believe is the best thing ever. If  a limited wrestler surpasses the greatest champion's (Flair) title count, it will make McMahon feel like he cemented himself as the greatest thing to happen to wrestling. Hulkamania be damned. This is probably how Cena was able to get to his ideal environment, the PG Era.

Once Cena was booed out of the All State Arena, McMahon should have been developing his new torch bearer. It seemed like he didn't have any options, but he's VKM, he would make you believe that he could create one. But he didn't, and that probably wasn't because of laziness. I say that because he didn't let Rob Van Dam beat his champ clean at the Hammerstein Ballroom and Cena went over Edge in a ladder match, in Toronto (I think McMahon envies Canadian nationalism). As an indy wrestler, I know you put over the territory's top star if you are the outsider. You get yours when the guy comes to your home (how else did Flair get to 16 times when Hogan held a belt for 4 years). McMahon has no respect for the structure he destroyed, so courtesy doesn't apply to him.

Unless McMahon gets bored with Cena (ratings be damned), thinks are not going to change. Cena is the first thing McMahon has created, so that probably won't happen. He's insured the concept anyway. Bryan, too small. Punk, too rebellious, Orton, too unreliable, Sheamus, a joke.

All I suggest is that we challenge McMahon's ego. He opened that Pandora's box by announcing the establishment of the Performance Center. We know, he is creating the next Cena, so why can't he get it right?

That may be a big compliment to Cena. So in the end, don't hate the player, hate the owner. Too bad owners are use to that (see George Steinbrenner).

What to do without Punk on a Monday? Feminism and Bad Wrestling

I suppose, I should actually turn to listening to the Riot Girl genre instead of waiting for the return of the CM Punk.  If only I was not listening to Bratmobile iHeartRadio at work.

My god, I did not mean for that to be a sensible transition to the why a lack of CM Punk makes Monday Night Raw nearly worthless (as a Danny Daniels student, I will still believe in the Shield, they still need more promos to keep my attention).  History lesson, Bratmobile would be the little sisters of Bikini Kill in terms of the Riot Girl (as a guy who preaches spelling Stevens with a V, I cannot bring myself to spell it Grrl). Riot Girl was a punk rock movement of the early 1990's that was about everything women need to be to fight the masculine authority through preaching the "do it yourself" philosophy to get the message across.  The music was pretty raw for the most part and overshadowed by other all girl bands like Hole (yeah I know there was a guy in the band, but trying telling Courtney Love he was not her bitch with a six string) and L7.

With the exception of Courtney Love, Peoria's premier bullshit rock station (you cannot really say any of them are not bullshit since Bloody Mess left for Oregon) 105.7 the X would lead you to believe that the other pissed off chicks were Alanis Morrsette (only her American breakout track) and Shirley Manson (ironic, but angry?).  Of course history does not sell in the Midwest.  Thus, I can claim Peoria radio encourages socialism because that is an example of a lack of compassionate capitalism.  Then again, as of 1995, we still had rascist history teachers in Morton (it is not okay to instruct white students to call Native American an American Indian, and since the cry baby conservatives calling for secession after Romney lost, the Civil War was about ending slavery not keeping the country together), so the RadioPlex is just doing their part to keep the redneck status quo.

The real pissed off women were going to make you listen and feel uncomfortable until you understood them.  Too bad it worked in 1992, at least in places in this country that count.  The movement stayed underground after the first Bush was defeated, thus Roe v. Wade was going to be safe for at least eight years.  Activist tried to bring the themes back for the W era, but I feel women were not concerned with it since there was terrorism.  On the bright side, Bin Laden did keep the country's mind off of wanting to burden this country with unwanted children.

The downside is women seem to be adjusting their beliefs and fears to the conservative agenda.   Guns will not save women from being raped.  Forcing society to call bullshit on it will.  Unfortunately, most guys will not take the time out of their day to do so.  Most guys are not raping, so why step on the roofie market (especially when we need a reason for Helms, Cooper, and Galifianakis to destroy "culturally corrupt" cities).

Check out the rest of the blog at the "Rip 'Em System" tumblr along with the subtext of "No Holds Barred."

Netflix Navigator: "Carjacked" review, wrestling/zombies and small gun control rant

The problem with TV wrestling is that you can do other things while you are watching it (republishing this blog as I am watching NXT UK Takeover Blackpool).  Ring of Honor has gotten really good of late showing what TNA could have been doing with "Aces and Eights," but with one hour of holding back up and coming talent (and STANDARD DEFINITION) does not require my total attention.  So may as well as try to be a bit productive (as much as drunkenness allows--all the parentheticals act as a tribute to CS Lewis), may as well get a little writing out of the way.

Step back a moment, this is a Main Event of the Dead blog. How's the lighting at the Bellevue Plaza? Another promotion is filling the venue, I figure they may need some creative influence. You can dispute my wrestling ability, but my writing ability? I've got some negative feelings towards certain individuals, but if you want some exposure for your over-the-hill ass (New York won't higher you if you're over 30 [Pre Samoa Joe]), I've got the ideas. Hell, you'll feel like a star instead of somebody who should be strictly devoted to putting people over.

As for my wrestling career, anyone under 30 wants a trained professional wrestler to be an apprentice to--and you don't have the respect for the business to pay Danny Daniels (or Marek Brave and Tyler Black) over $2000 (BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD)--let me know. I got the mind to win you downstate.

This blog is a little disjointed.  I'd like to say it's "Fight Club"-esque, but I'm just saving the long part for last (if you are here for the Stephen Doff (how can the fuck use two F's for his last name and not use a V for his first--apart from his awesomeness). I  better cover my gun control rant.  My movie review could support my argument, but I don't like spoilers.

If you want a movie to support my argument, rent...fuck own..."Red State."  It's not Kevin Smith's best film, but it's a five star project that is as important as "Night of the Living Dead."  To sum it up, those who want all the guns shouldn't have them.  And those who have the guns shouldn't have them.  In conclusion, no one should have guns, unless the clips have rubber bullets.  Put a hollow point in Bambi's mom, fine (bull shit, who shoots a doe, but fine).  If you kill a man with a hollow point, you did it because you want the right to kill a human.  So you are a murderer.  If you kill a man with a rubber round, I'll admire your dedication.  Got to appreciate someone who can beat the 90 to 1 odds.

Why did I bring up my leftist agenda on this blog instead of harshside.com? Because I gotta let people know about my movie project, but I do need to address those who disagree with my views, who may feel I am picking on them.

If I take the time to comment about your politics, it's because I think you are intelligent enough to understand my reasoning.  I can list people who do are not (Shawn, Nathan), but that would be in poor taste.  If you are offended by my implications, I'll put on the four-ounce gloves to settle our differences.  If you are offended because I commented, at least do a two-month camp before you challenge me to shut the fuck up.  It's an indication you've got strong convictions, so best be prepared to kick my butt for your convictions sake.

So on to "Carjacked:"

Read the review at NinetyforChill.com - A More Ideal Runtime