"Willow" - Can We Get a LucasFilm Remake?

*Blog post started on July 30, 2020.

It is payday and I am doing alright. When I fell asleep the previous night with no "medications", things must be getting better. Sadly, my Jedi practice is slacking. There is a set of medical appointments, so I am thinking to the future. And there has not been a good morning to check my blood sugars.

I may be feeling better, but I would appreciate some input outside of myself. My Accu-Chek would not approve of my Sunday drinking, mac and cheese and bread Monday, Tuesday drinking, ice cream and breaded Buffalo wing Wednesday. Thursday is not looking good as I try to eat all the food before restocking my groceries. The menu is pigs in a blanket or Jack's Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza (The best desperate/frozen pizza because the toppings are just cheese, beef, and bacon. It is what the pizza is called. Screw DiGiorno and Red Baron for making research the three meats for each variant of three-meat pizza). Predicting a reasonable blood sugar level at 8:30 am would be silly.

Things can all change next month. July was a three check month. I think I have everything financially settled down. Which leads to my worries. Things just cannot be this good.

I suppose I am of the mindset that if things can be better, why are we not working towards making them better. At least that is my excuse for quickly restarting role playing games after a week. There are enough Pokémon storage options to not worry about that. It may also explain my spending, usually in terms of electronics. Good thing I do not have the space for another television. Two per room is enough.

Yes, I am going to buy a PS5 (Why the two bedroom TV's have an HDMI slot open and why my Xbox 360 is 1080i using component cable adapter), but there is not much else out there to grab. Well, a new phone would be great. Damn the family plan. I have to refer to my folks when it comes to upgrades, hence bringing dread that they will cut me off grocery and oil change wise in exchange for that. If you look hard enough, eventually your fears will be realized.

You just have to remember to be self confident. There is always a way to overcome, just be calm and follow through.

Ya panic in your head.  Ya give yourself a couple a seconds of panic, then you get a grip and deal with the situation. "Reservoir Dogs" via Script Slug.com.

If Steve Buscemi's Mr. Pink is a little too extreme to act like how about Billy Barty in letting us know the magic resides in us? That sounds like a line you would see in a movie directed by Richie Cunningham. But now I cannot help but ponder what Quentin Tarantino's "Willow" would look like. I would take that as his 10th and final film.

Before I review the way too ahead of its time feature, just a thought from @catbusruss:

Watching Ron Howard's "Willow". Love the huge cast of little people, but I wonder. Did Jim Henson create the Muppets to eliminate the need for the Hollywood dwarf?

Willow (1988)

The Witch Queen Bavmorda is poised to rule all the lands, but a prophecy may undo her ambitions. It has been foretold that a girl, a lost princess, shall be born and soon bring an end to the Queen's reign of terror. With a powerful army at her command, the queen orders all pregnant women to be rounded up. If they bare a daughter who has the mark of the princess, the child will exiled to the Netherworld, never to pose a threat. Murdering babies tends to be a rallying cry of the poor, so when the child is born, the mother's nursemaid is quick to leg it out the castle.

Our initial heroine makes it a great distance before the dogs finally catch up to her, but she had the chance to Moses mail the child down the river to a village of dwarves. The child is discovered by the children of Willow Ufgood, and despite the struggling farmer and amateur sorcerer's reluctance, is quick to be adopted by the family. Unfortunately, it is not long before a hound arrive at their village. The beast is dispatched, but being little people, they cannot hold off any many more beasts or army with any confidence.

Since Willow took the child in, he must take the child out of the village and back with the normal-sized folks. The sorcerer High Aldwin will not let him leave on this quest alone, so he assigns his best friend Meegosh, two warriors, and the village leader, Burglekutt. Too hedge his bet, Aldwin provides Willow with magic acorns as well.

In a couple of days, they find a bandit named Madmartigan left to die in a crow's cage. He offers to take the child if they release him. Burglekutt decides that their task is completed regardless if Willow surrenders the child and heads home with the armed escort. With Bavmorda's war coming to them, Willow eventually leaves the child in Madmartigan's care.

As he and Meegosh head home, it takes little time to regret their decision. The fairy-sized Brownies have kidnapped the child and soon capture the dwarves as they attempt a rescue. As these tiny nemeses amuse themselves with Gulliver-esque torture, they are ordered by fairy queen Cherlindrea to stop. She reveals that the reacquisition of the baby, Elora Danan, was the child's will.

Willow is now her chosen protector. Cherlindrea provides the magic wand of Sorceress Fin Raziel to him. If he returns it to that cursed adversary of Bavmorda, good may have a chance at triumphing. Brownies Rool and Franjean will guide Willow to the cursed's island. It just seems serendipitous that their paths will cross with Madmartigan. All the dominos are lining up, so the will of the good is not going to get a better chance to win the day. Surprising since Willow is short for a dwarf.

"Willow" is another example of the ambitions and fandom of George Lucas. Lucas obviously wanted to adapt J.R.R. Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" with this undersized protagonist, but the rights were not something he could grab. It is odd because high fantasy was definitely hit or miss in the 80's, but if anyone could handle it, Lucasfilm had the best credentials.

Millennials and Generation Y like to argue (from what I have gathered as Gen-X bank teller) what the greatest cinema trilogy is: "Star Wars" or "Lord of the Rings". "Willow". "Willow" shows me that it is indeed "Star Wars" because the film's effects hold up for the most part. If only it was filmed in the time where every "blockbuster" concept is set get a trilogy (Unless Disney owns it. I for one want Ridley Scott's "Alien: Awakenings").

I do not know if the character of Willow is strong enough to carry a franchise. Lucas must have been aware of this and wisely concludes this tale in under two and a half hours. The special effects still hold up for the most part today, with the exception of the Brownies and Fairies who were layered on in post. Even the effects that too not hold up deserve credit because we have just gotten better at integrating the same concepts. 

This is a Lucas project, so it has to innovate something whether it works for the story or not. Fortunately, this is still in a time prior to Steven Spielberg creating fully digital creatures. Hence, 1988 was too soon for Jar Jar ambitions.

Back in 1988, I did not really have any interest to see this feature. This eight year old saw the Lucas name attached and just presumed he was trying to make "Star Wars" with swords and horses. And I was proven right, but that is not a bad thing. Because the story has a solid conclusion like "A New Hope" if it did not work, we would not need "The Empire Strikes Back". "Willow" did not make the bank it needed which is a pity, but it was just great seeing that Ron Howard and George Lucas could still capture the same magic as the space opera. Let us be glad they cannot screw this feature up with another two parts.

With all that said, and after the solid work that was "Solo: A Star Wars Story", we know that Ron Howard has only improved in his directorial abilities. Why not give him another go at a film that only Spielberg could have done better with? Who would have a problem with that? It is not like we are digitally recreating the story. If not Howard, how about the other Disney "Star Wars" directors who did not get canned. Could you imaging the subversion Rian Johnson could make of this?

"Willow" is a solid high fantasy feature that was released before it was cool to tackle wizards and elves. It could have set the tone for 90's blockbusters if it would have made hundreds of millions, but that would probably mean trilogy movies would ruin the indie scene without VOD to save the day. George Lucas fans should be grateful that we this film solidified his genius and parents should be glad they have a means to warm up kids for Middle Earth.

Unless you are not open to none Tolkien fantasy tales, this film is more worthwhile than "The Force Awakens". "Willow" is worth a 'member berry.

Nerdy Life of Mine - "Willow: Chronicles of the Shadow War"

The Current Disgruntled's Real World Championships & Trademark Inspiration

There Was Never a McMahon WCW: The Disgruntled's Real Secondary Champion Part 3.

*This portion of the title history was completed on 7/21/20.
Intro was written on 7/28/20.

I did not expect to have so much time to write this week, but when you wake up with the alarm and a coworker comes back from lunch late, the time to catch up with Wrestletalk was not there. Thus, there are no dirt sheets that I want to wade through at work to justify finding a new channel to fill in my YouTube viewings.

What does my YouTube channel list look like right now?

• All Elite Wrestling
• Being the Elite
• Dave Knows Wrestling
• Outside Xbox
• Outside Extra
• Ozzy Man Reviews
• What Culture Movies
• What Culture Gaming
• What Culture Wrestling
• Watch Mojo

I end up watching a bit of MMA on Point, but the shots they take at wrestling will not allow me to  subscribe in good conscience.

There are definitely better things to do with my free time. I still have two episodes of "The Mandalorian" to watch. My TV on physical media collection is vast. After zoning out of New Japan World because of the delays it took getting English commentary, Puroresu is another thing I have been slacking on.

Mayhaps my new living arrangement is too comfy. Both kitties can now cuddle with me in the living room. The cats prevent me from playing video games because they like the dome chair I bought to do that in. With a twin bed in the living room, be it booze or pot, it is easy to relax. Which is good because if I stay up to late, the demons that I have been fighting all of my adult life want to have a group therapy session. I am not quite the "present day" William from "Westworld: Season 3" in that scenario.

Having too much trivial stuff to focus on is probably a good thing. The only problem is obviously not wanting to self medicate all the time. I will acknowledge. I should do more screenplay/teleplay work, but when you think about movies and wrestling all the time, do I want that to take up anymore of my time?

So the answer is writing partner. A different person with their own ideas that I can throw my wit at would be a huge help. If you need further inspiration to join up with me, feel free to ask for a treatment of "Main Event of the Dead", my indie pro-wrestlers versus zombie B-movie script. My email is russthebus07@gmail.com.

Now, lets get to the wrestling that I have written about recently.

The 43rd Disgruntled's Real Triple-Crown Champion (WWE Intercontinental/WWE United States/ECW Television):

CageSide Seats

On this date in WWF history (Mar. 7)

WWF Eurocontinental Champion Kurt Angle (3/4/2000 to 4/2/2000)

This is the most legitimate of the three champions who held both the WWF Intercontinental and WWF European Championships (D'Lo Brown who won his European Championship from Mideon and Intercontinental Championship from Jeff Jarrett to in turn lose both title to Jarrett who awarded the European title to Mark Henry like Shane McMahon awarded that title to Mideon). He lost each individual championship on the same night without being defeated, so in essence, there was a chance the European Championship could have become a secondary title.

The 44th Disgruntled's Real Triple-Crown Champion:
WWF Intercontinental Champion Chris Benoit (1) (4/2/00 to 5/2/00)
Chris Jericho was the man who won the European Championship at WrestleMania, but lost it the next night to Eddie Guerrero. To further place the Euro title as tertiary, Jericho went on to feud over the IC title after that.

Check out the rest of this blog and the indie/correct view on wrestling at The "Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling"

Western Ignorance and The Disgruntled's Real Women's World Championship

90-Min. Prime Video - "Stage Fright:" The Stylized Slasher for the Stage

*Blog post started on July 27, 2020.

I must be placing too much pressure on myself to be something worthwhile. To make sure I had new content for today's post, Amazon Prime was activated as was my drinking habit. It started with "StageFright Aquarius" to determine whether "Screen Drafts's" number three giallo film of all time was actually part of the genre (As it turns out, I did not need to write this blog till Wednesday). Two drinks were not enough after the film concluded, so I thought it made sense to wrap up the first season of "The Boys".

The conclusion to the first run of episodes ran a little longer than anticipated. Drunk quesadilla grilling and toast with remnants of Domino's garlic sauce caused a couple of pauses. Deciding that I needed to get a back bump in for old time sakes led to a delay in the viewing. Skimble even put a stop to the broadcast when I went to pet Eva after I lectured him about being codependent towards me. Perhaps I need to be afraid of his need to love me because his accurate pounce on the Apple TV remote to return to the main menu was impressive. This one-eared fluffy monster must have been a rodent killer at some point.

I apologize for being stressed and depressed my feline friend. There are just times I need to register that and receive fewer boops. Reading my old Adrian Tomine journal led to me realizing how my life SEEMS about the same as 10 years ago, sans my stripper friends to distract me. At least my alcoholism has improved. How drunk did I get at the defunct Peoria Theater for the "Drunken Zombie Double Feature"? Was my five hours in front of the TV triggered by my decade old scribbles? Glory days?

In the end, I am glad that I am blogging now as opposed to journaling. Reading my past works, my life needs to be told in a narrative instead of free-flowing. If I have moments where I cannot make out what I was trying to say, it feels like I failed myself. On the plus side, my life does not FEEL as messed up as it once did.

Why can I not appreciate semi-charmed kind of life? It was pretty much the theme of my senior year of high school. Oh yeah, I did not care for high school. Since that album was released in 1998, that means it is associated with two years of narrow-minded Christian classmates. My mind was not exactly woke, but wide enough to women who did not wear long denim skirts were not sluts and the pitch that only Christians go to heaven was bullshit.

Fear of being totally alone has been consuming some hours of my time. There are times that I miss my recent ex, but my codependency never allowed me to be comfortable. Since there are many people who do not want to live alone, it seems like making a connection will be trickier. My method to avoid loneliness was to be chasing some kind of goal, but I have never caught anything, so I should rethink that approach. What I want right now is to try is some truly great hallucigenics to make sense of it all this. Why am I feeling like Stacia is calling me?

It is tough right now because the last three paragraphs was me just trying to make a connection with you, the reader. This is the first time I do not have to edit the middle of the intro rant when I republish this a third time on ninetyforchill.com.

The read on this experience is tough. Am I getting better with my structure or am I still practicing fruitless acts? I can still segue though because I am feeling a bit like a desperate actor trapped overnight with an owl-masked serial killer.

StageFright (1987, 90 minutes)

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

beyondhorrordesign.blogspot.com

Bitch Slap: An ATTEMPT to Emasculate B-Movies

Paul Heyman and The Disgruntled's Real Secondary Championship Part 2

*List comprised on July 10, 2020. Intro started on July 24, 2020.

With all my side blogs like Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling and NinetyForChill.com, I felt the need to put out three sets of blogs a week. Maybe I just want to have my definitive version of my Vince McMahon's "Mein Kampf" is 1989's "No Holds Barred" blog done with. Maybe I felt I needed an excuse for @maineventzombie to tweet promote an extra day a week. Whatever reason, I think it is starting to show a lack of depth in my life.

It may not be a depth issue. Perhaps I am just not as clever as I think I am. If you cannot say it with wit, should you really say it?

Twitter is my own worse enemy because if it can be said in 140 characters, does it deserve a blog? I have actually never had the nerve to that directly, so at least I know what I should do next blog intro. But enough about me, this is suppose to be about the best of the second best. Let us continue with the title history of the Disgruntled's Real Double Championship.

Please allow me one more aside. After watching "Dave Know Wrestlings" Top 8 Picks for a New J-Crown Championship, I am hoping that we might reach that number of titles in for the grand secondary championship. Imagine the fantasy booking blogs that could be had. It may be time for me to just invest in that green screen and start a new YouTube channel.

Or I could combine the AWA "Team Challenge Series" concept with my pro-wrestling versus zombies B-movie script "Main Event of the Dead" to avoid renting a building and ring. I doubt the downstairs neighbor would appreciate all the bumping. Imagine how my cats would react.

Do you think green screens around a wrestling ring could work for a movie? If you have been reading my stuff, do you think I have a B-movie script in me? Feel free to email russthebus07@gmail.com to request a script treatment or offer up your ideas on how to get this project out of development hell. Thanks.

The 16th Disgruntled's Real Double (Intercontinental/United States) Champion:

WWF Intercontinental Champion Bret Hart (1) - August 26, 1991 to January 17, 1992

The 17th Disgruntled's Real Double Champion:

WWF Intercontinental Champion The Mountie - 1/17/92 to 1/19/92

Lex Luger was not as talented a worker as Jacques Rougeau despite his reign was going to culminate with him winning the WCW World Championship. Rougeau's victory was used to build up the WrestleMania 8 match between Roddy Piper and Bret Hart. In a sense, this further appreciated the championship's value.

Check out the rest of this blog and the indie/correct view on wrestling at The "Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling"

Call Me Suitcase and Where was Queen's 1986 Oscar Nomination?

90-Min. Rewatch - "Jigsaw" and Trading Control for Trauma (The @soonershasha Agenda).

*Blog post started on July 23, 2020.

I think I might have my finances in order, so I am more stressed out than ever. This proves that I am not an optimist because I am obviously waiting for the other shoe drop. You cannot expect someone who got the "things cannot get any worse" speech only to witness a man set himself on fire and then fail to grab the nearest fire extinguisher (To my credit, an extinguisher was grabbed.) to think any differently.

Blood sugar was higher than I have ever seen it, and since it will take a month for me to figure out how truly shagged my wallet is, perhaps I can swing that into a medical marijuana card. At least I am always up on how to season a shit quesadilla (I have never heard of anyone throwing seasoning on a sandwich. My quesadilla's at home get a little chipotle pepper thrown in no matter how seasoned the meat is.).

I have also discovered that I am either more mature than I thought or have never been too desperate. The last time I was desperate because of my finances, that was because I had inadvertently committed check fraud. This was from my infamous summer of 2006 where my inevitable bankruptcy declaration was hurried because I did not want Carrie Clifton to be desperate for her heroin fix.

When I reviewed the blog that I have a link to above, I see I had referred to her by name, so I think it is best to not put that back into Pandora's box. The guys responsible for the sexual assaults from the wrestling industry that I had endured best feel lucky that it took ten years to register that trauma.

Being desperate opened up a friend to invite some trauma. It sucks that our society is not forgiving of sexual expression because for her safety, the exploitation should have been at a strip club or fansonly.com. Damn how COVID-19 has fucked everything up, but we should be cheering on regulation when going into a questionable situation seems more acceptable than profiting from nudity. What started as a kissing flesh transaction for a low figure escalated into a need to clean off the effected areas.

Upon her return, she stated she felt weird and cheated by the agreed payoff. Give the situation a half hour to allow that amount promised to more than triple in her Venmo, it became a celebration about how she got that money. Everything I was suggesting about paydays from my experiences in strip clubs (I have paid for sex once [She did not say it was a transaction until after she provided service.] but have paid to be in places where the likely hood of action was greater more than a handful of times), was irrelevant because it is better to have some money than hold out to make the money you should have.

Oh the times they are a changing. It use to be you stripped so you would not whore. Now, it is better to not be seen exploiting yourself than to own up to it. I suppose it is kind fitting when you look at our society right now.

A Tweet from @CatBusRuss:

If DHS operatives are going to jump out of windowless vans to kidnap protesters, they should at least offer candy before hand. Pedophiles have more class than Trump.

A response form Samuel C Winchester

He (I) should read the Patriot Act that Joe Biden voted for.

Instead of denouncing the harm our president is doing, Trump's supporter find a way to blame the victims. As long as it protects their wallets and churches, the evils of the actions are warranted. That may be thinking too highly of the right.

movieposters2.com

They voted a fellow sociopath into office, know he is ruining our country, but as long as it hurts the people they dislike, they have been rewarded. In America, it is all about the payday, regardless if Yackoff Smirnoff can now emigrate to Canada to revive his career because of it.

In Republican America, police protect and serve themselves.

I know it is a crime to wish death or harm on a sitting president, but what about being put in a Jigsaw trap with Donald Jr., Eric, Ivanka and Jared Kushner? In the last few films, the primary traps allowed for everyone to survive. If he can be an ideal person, death or hindering harm should not befall him.

So that is my pitch for "Saw 10". I would like Twisted Pictures to know that I would take everything into consideration from the previous films to make it work. Perhaps the writers of the last of the series to be released at this point should have tried to direct that feature as well to ensure the continuity was considered.

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

"Heroic Duo": Lacks the Excitement and Benefits of a Black Lives Matters March

We're Number 5: The Disgruntled's Real Secondary Champion

*Blog post started on July 9, 2020.

If it was not for picking up lunch, business is slow to the point that I wonder if we have lifted the lockdown in Illinois.

With my commute taking me an extra five minutes, I do not wake up with the time to watch Wrestletalk's daily YouTube video. This means that, if I had the nerve to watch it while on the clock, I would have to wait till we close the lobby for the last hour of my shift. Hence, it is very easy for me to run out of work acceptable websites to kill the time with.

When you got to pay the rent, you cannot go to Ebay or Amazon for that one item you know a local shop will not have. That is another indication that I need to spend more time in Chicago if not relocate up there. I am also jealous of my college age coworkers who do not have to worry about credit card debt or bills. Go ahead and buy those toe rings. If you already added another three months to your leave your parents' place, what will another quarter-year matter?

Anyway, my taste for rare and vintage goods leaves me in a place where shopping is just looking. The search query starts reasonable, "blank championship belts", but when that may only score me a handful of results, the next 15 minutes are devoted at looking at championship belts from the past. It pains me not to add them to my collection (currently made of toy replicas, the NGW Unrecognized Interim Light Heavyweight Championship [Thanks Jakks Pacific] and the UFC championship that was going to be converted for my Peoria-based promotion that my partners flaked on [impractical for the first, unnecessary for the one who got to book Scott County Wrestling for a blip], Legit Championship Wrestling), but it can help me kill some time. I want to know the histories of these belts, so Wikipedia ends up deserving a few bucks from me.

It is fun to catch up on the past, but it maybe more fun to determine how essential these titles were. Who can deny that despite it tendency to be wrong, judging in generally fun? I suppose as long as you are not judgmental, there is nothing wrong with it. Then again, if you are spending time focused on your internet activities, you probably are quick to conclusions.

Fortunately, since the internet encompasses everything, there are plenty of harmless results to mock. In modern wrestling where half of the promoters are clueless (WWE, Impact, lets not get started on the indies), there are bad decisions that most are quick to anger about. If it ends up involving a title, the frustration goes nuclear.

I consider myself to be a very trustworthy person (Hence my frustration for lack of support when it comes to my B-movie production "Main Event of the Dead". Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com to request a treatment for the zombies versus the indies film. I am also open to receiving suggestions on how to get this project off the ground.) and a very empathetic one at that. To end this frustration about who is worthy to call themselves a champion, here is my title history for The Disgruntled's Real Secondary Champion.

One question before we begin. Do we include the WWE Universal Championship in this list? It has yet to earn the distinction of being a World title yet. Kevin Owens and Bray "The Fiend" Wyatt both lost it to Goldberg. Roman Reigns and Finn Balor never got to truly defend it. Brock Lesnar was never around to defend it. Kofimania trumped Seth Rollin's reigns.

I suppose it is best not to because that would throw in all of Impact's Heavyweight Championship incarnations. It is best not to ask for headaches. Like the previous title histories for Disgruntled Real Championships, the start date is Starccade 1983 the first "pay-per-view".

The 1st Disgruntled's Real Intercontinental Champion:

Tito Santana - MADHOTCOMICSPLUS.COM

WWF's Don Muraco (2) - January 22, 1983 to February 11, 1984.

Muraco was feuding over this title with Pedro Morales, the man who was suppose to be the man after Bruno Sammartino's eight year reign. This title history shows they went to war over this title for two years. NWA's United States Champion Greg Valentine won the belt in a brutal feud with Roddy Piper, but won it due to referee stoppage for a cut. The NWA National Championship changed hands only eight months prior when Larry Zbyszko purchased it.

The 2nd Disgruntled's Real Intercontinental Champion:

WWF's Tito Santana (1) - 2/11/84 to 9/24/84

The NWA United States Championship would be vacated during this reign only to be won back by the champion (Wahoo McDaniel) in a tourney to determine it.

Check out the rest of this blog and the indie/correct view on wrestling at The "Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling"