The Poetic Critic
had granted me a favor by being this week's guest. Her reward...she
gets to address a big hullabaloo that over took #FilmTwitter. This poor
taste insurrection started with some twat saying how they broke their
own rules of not watching any features released before 1975. I guess
this was to prove their belief that cinema was not worth anything prior
to the year of "Jaws" because they found "Citizen Kane" to be a poor
attempt at art.
It
was not solely the stance that films were bad before the special effect
shark. The lyrical assessor brought up a recent article that the
legendary Martin Scorsese (I think I have now finally memorized the
spelling.) about the art of Federico Fellini. In this work (per
ThePoeticCritic [TPC]), he again discusses how he feels that corporations are
more interested in delivering content to amuse instead of art to
challenge.
#FilmTwitter's
Response To the Most Under Rewarded Director (to paraphrase): What does
he know about art? All his films are about white males. The Marvel
Cinematic Universe considers all cultures and races unlike the cinema
before 1975 which was nothing but the celebration of white men.
So
this is the episode where I truly show my age as I shout at "kids" for
trying to feel better about themselves by being keyboard "activists". I thank
TPC for her patience as I compare the yearning for only woke features to
"woke" wrestling fans wanting more time and respect shown to still blossoming women's
wrestling. If you are looking for controversy, I take the stance thantcontext warnings should allow Disney+ to finally air "Song of the
South". One can be curious...right?
As
for individual movie talk, TPC provides great launch points into films of each decade as far back as the 1920's. I get to mention my experiences with my
viewings of David Cronenberg's "Shivers" and the Japanese revenge
feature that surely inspired the crimson splashes featured in "Kill Bill",
"Lady Snowblood". "Ally's Accessories Shop's Trash Cinema"
offers up another low-budget feature. "Dark Ride" from the "8 Films
to Die For" series was crammed in just before the editing process. Why
could it not be Ham from "The Sandlot" to be featured in the film's head
bisection scene?
Imagine We Still Had VHS: "Cat Planet Cuties" and the Curse of Too Much Physical Media
*Blog post started on February 19, 2021.
Trying to optimize my Twitter feeds (@maineventzombie, @catbusruss, @russthebus)
yesterday has put me a day behind in terms of writing. What is the
point of staying up late for content if it is not fresh in your mind the
next day? There is a chance that the thoughts that ruined your original
intentions bleed over into the next day. When you are obsessive
compulsive like me, if one thing is optimized, all must be optimized.
That can kill some time at the day job. I may be going through my blogs to
make sure that forwarding the reader on to my different blogs is not
that tasking on the eyes. In other words, the reader maybe frustrated
with reading through have a screen of text to be reintroduced to the same text again when they click on the "Check out..." link. Some further editing
is definitely needed.
As
for my Wednesday content search, it is a good thing that it was an
anime television series. I got home from work, practiced some self care,
and made dinner and watched the "NBC News Nightly News" from my DVR.
With no wrestling on Thursday (I would say the best day for AEW's next
program, but after Dynamite, everything is down hill to BTE on Monday.),
it is the perfect day to binge the streaming services or watch those
series you impulsively buy on DVD.
When
it comes to streaming, I have two hours to catch up on "WandaVision".
If WWE does something offensive to my taste on Sunday, the real
superheroes can take their place. Which reminds me to cancel the WWE
Network for the last time (There is no point to pay $9.99 for 17 days
when it will be on Peacock on the 18th). Sorry NXT UK.
When
it comes to DVDs, I can obviously make any night a wrestling night in
my household, but there are some TV shows that I just have to own. This
seemingly means half of post "Game of Thrones" HBO series ("Watchmen"
and "Westworld" tell the audience that you need the special features)
and what ever affordable anime series I can grab at Disc Replay or Best
Buy. There definitely not as many of those.
I
have considered getting Crunchyroll or Funimation subscriptions, but
Shudder is definitely the greater priority. It might also just be the
hunter/collector in me who does not want to have everything at my finger
tips. My "Speed Grapher" collection might be the pride of my
2000's/2010's collection. To get all the episodes on four-episode DVD's,
the extra $100 spent was worth it. Truthfully, Ebay allowed me to
make that hit a lot less.
Not
being an anime streamer may also be a need not to develop another
hobby. I know there is quite the Japanese animation lineup on Netflix,
but I am starting to ponder if that service is worth maintaining. There
are some great comedy specials, but again, I do not need the hobby.
Especially when I need those sub two-hour time slots for NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast.
They may have one series a year that is worth subscribing for. Is each
series worth 15 bucks? How do I tell all those using my info that I am
cutting it off?
It
all comes down to having too much physical media. Yes, there are
special features, but what is the point, aside from Steelbooks? I say
physical media allows us to be of more critical minds. There are no
worries of "Available till" messages, so when you watch them, you can
take your time and find out the answers to why something does or does
not work.
You
can claim that can be done with streaming services, but I have yet to
find a remote control that functions as well as those of a physical
media player. Personally, the more buttons, the better. Of course there
are special remotes, but you can usually buy at least two DVDs for the
price of one of those.
Ironically,
anime rarely has those kind of expansive extras to warrant a physical
copy. But does "Cat Planet Cuties" need that when I could grab it for
$10 bucks? I could not pass up something catcentric at that price. It is
still a gamble because it is an anime. This is an anime with an American
title that implies loads of fan service.
Fan service is best kept as an implication like the promises at the end of episodes of "Evangelion" or "Blue Seed". As a series, I have seen that backfire so many times like "Agent AIKa" and "Knights of Ramune".
"I
am coming to drop by." That is the first extra-terrestrial message that
humanity has received. It is not necessarily ominous, but the Japanese
Self Defense Force is still on edge since the object they are tracking
seems to be eying Okinawa as a landing zone. There is an incident of a
smuggler's ship blowing up, but otherwise all was quiet the night of the
message.
The
next afternoon seems like any other. There is a celebration for Kio's
late grandfather going on, but the most stress that could lead to would
be Kio's uncle pushing him to flirt with the cosplay girl who just
randomly showed up. Showing immediate concern for the confused stranger,
Eris, the sixteen year-old ends up getting black out drunk when he
consumes the booze that the uncle had meant for the new girl. Fortunately for Kio,
Eris is quite caring and is able to walk him home at his uncle's
behest.
The
next morning, Kio awakens to a half-dressed Eris being curled up by his
side. This leaves him immediately startled and Eris further confused.
Before she can offer an explanation, Kio's neighbors Manami and Maki
stop by to check up on him and inquire about the girl they presume he
took home to fulfill some furry fantasies. Eris reveals to them and
proves by letting the two pet her tails and ears that she is an alien
from the planet Catia. She is on a recon mission to hopefully establish
diplomatic relations with Earth, a planet that may lag in technology, but
none the less, is very similar culturally to her home world.
With
everything explained and established on Eris's end, all should be
alright provided the girls do not blab about it. Well, they are not
going to go public with it, but that is because they are both covert
operatives. Manami has aspirations to join the CIA, so bringing in an
alien should secure her a spot.
Maki
is a part of the Beautiful Contract, a secret society that is looking
to ensure that first contact with space beings will be a magnificent moment in
history. To find out that the cosplay ideal is what the superior
lifeforms look like does not sit well with them. They intend to
eliminate her to prevent the embarrassment.
On
top of these two agencies, another one of Kio's friends has been
instructed to rid earth of Eris. The shy Aoi is a Japanese immigration
agent who specializes in eliminating any threat to Japan. This all
sounds like too much for Kio to handle, but Eris has an army of cute
helper droids that can carry out almost any command. She is more
concerned about figuring out how humans operate especially Kio. It is
about time for her first mating season and after seeing some of the
manga under her host's bed, she has some ideas that Kio is probably far
from ready for.
"Cat
Planet Cuties" comes across as a refined "Excel Saga". "Excel Saga" was
all about making fun of all of the tropes associated with anime making
every episode its own entity. This cat-girl anime focuses on one trope
and builds a 12-episode narrative around it. If you are not looking to
laugh at all types of anime but want a ridiculous premise, "Cat Planet
Cuties" will treat you a lot better than the abrasive nature of a
straight up parody like "Excel Saga".
This
anime is very well produced. I personally prefer to have my colors a
little more subdued as if the project was a manga with motion,
but for a bright and loud comedy, you cannot complain about it popping
out of the screen at you. Along with a very versatile soundtrack, the
premise may have just sounded too nuts for Funimation to talk Cartoon
Network into airing it on our shores.
What
I really liked about "Cat Planet Cuties", aside from the obvious (six
cat tats and counting), is that the storytelling is very similar to one
of my favorite anime franchises, "El Hazard".
I suppose my comparison to "El Hazard" speaks to how I loved that
P-Anime (Pioneer produced Anime from the 90's) more than the better
known "Tenchi Muyo!"
That title is more appropriate to compare it to since this is a story
about an alien entering a teenage boy's life instead of the protagonist
being placed in an alien world. Either way, the story revolves around
our hero as all the girls for the most part hide their infatuation with
him. Either way, for a narcissistic boy, it is my dream (and a really
weird one at that when you smoke a bowl before bed.).
As
for the fan service fears, the dirty minds of the audience are amused
with near tongue-baths and accidental boob grabs, but it does not
dominate any elements of the story. The series is nudity-free through
the first five episodes, with the exception of the third. In that
episode, that is all played up for laughs instead of "Ramune" and "AIKa"
who wants the viewer leering at the screen the entire series.
The
best homage to fans are through the peripheral elements of Eris. She
attacks with a mallet (like Harley Quinn) and her assistant droids
gradually become chibi-cat tributes to other famous characters (samurai,
even a Hong Kong gunfighter...spoiler for episodes 4 and 5). This
series's humor is not breaking new ground, but it is an ode to the
serieses that I would pay $25 per 1-hour dubbed tape in the 90's.
"Cat
Planet Cuties" shows how important it is too feature relatable and
likable characters. When you have those, any premise can be translated
into entertainment. After three (or five) episodes, this series has done
no wrong. If you can create a series based around cats that is
reminiscent of the best comedies of the 90's, any anime fan should be
pleased with purchase.
Reviewing "The Craft" To Clear the Way For More Stuart Gordon
*Blog post started on February 16, 2021.
Stuart
Gordon delivers another Lovecraftian feature, this one seeming more HP
than Gordon. The film again shows how Gordon can work around any
shortcomings including the CG effects that are definitely not ILM.
Mermaids with tentacles instead of fins and flayings make this a must
see for any gore fans. Ezra Godden is a great proxy for Jeffrey Combs.
If it lacks anything, it is a character in the vein of Barbara Crampton.
The
podcast has now lead to a back up in my written blogs. It is more of a
principle thing that upsets me. There is a sense that I am selling out
the written work for clicks. But the pods are getting me twice the clicks.
If
there is a problem with the podcast, it is that I am running out of
themes really quick. I have stocked up on Sean Bean films from Disc
Replay, but how often can I afford to add other actors' sub
100-minute filmographies?
Yes,
the Super Bowl earned me $300 (If only politicians can offer such
immediate results as Tom Brady. I am just saying Donald should have tried the $2000 stimulus in June.), but do I want to move that money over
to my checking and abandon sports gambling all together? I know
Newcastle United is going to pay off on one of those 90+:1 bets.
In
other words, I just ran up my retail job (Listen to the NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast if you want to know where I work.) credit card to buy more podcasting
equipment. This leads me to think that I should just ask my folks to pay
the yearly fee to a podcast host website for my birthday. The podcast is not like
the blog, so they have no reason to object.
With
that said, there will not be a podcast on March 2. Social media is how I
promote and I do not want to receive those insincere birthday wishes
from my Facebook "friends". Thus, that account will be down for a week. If you want to celebrate it, send digital liquor store gift cards to russthebus07@gmail.com.
An
even better gift would be inquiries about my pro-wrestling, low-budget,
zombie-comedy "Main Event of the Dead". I am more than happy to send
out script treatments and would love suggestions on how to get this
project at developmental hell. Send your advice or request to russthebus07@gmail.com.
As
I finish typing out my plugs, I realize that I might just be writing
this for the sake of practice. Do I have an actual subject to address?
The answer is yes. Thanks for the edibles NuEra. This allowed me to skip
(too stoned to record) the visceral review video, and create a need to write a review for what
the girls at the bank think is a classic, "The Craft".
I
think it might be nothing more than Breckin Meyer-sploitation. Did the
producers think it could not be a hip chick flick if he was not playing a
high school slacker?
On
her father's whim, Sarah Bailey has to restart her life in Los Angeles. It is the middle of the school year, so being noticed and
making friends is an expected challenge. After being labeled a slut by
even flirting with the football star, Chris, she decides that she may as
well join the other outcasts.
At
least their hobby of witchcraft will keep her busy. Nancy, Bonnie, and
Rochelle were looking for a fourth anyhow to complete their spells.
Sarah also offers an added bonus because she seems to be a natural
witch.
Soon,
their spells are coming to fruition. Sarah has Chris wrapped around her
finger. Rochelle has her vengeance against the racist blond from gym
class. Bonnie scarred skin has cleared up. It is only the most devoted and selfish follower Nancy who lacks the power she desires. Surely that will be
remedied when she takes in the power of Manon, the being that is
essentially all elements of nature.
Manon's
power should allow for all Nancy's wishes to come true, but more
importantly for this Wiccan circle, allow them to escape the consequences
of their spells. Only Sarah is taking heed of what the Wiccan
shopkeeper's warning. Black or light, the spell will come back to haunt
the issuer three times over.
First off: Witches but no black cats!?!
"The
Craft" seems to want to be a cool teen girl-aimed film like "Clueless",
but puts no effort into the dialogue to stand along side that classic. Without
that, it is a pretty shallow and poorly paced narrative that depends on
Hot Topic fashion to elevate the viewer's interest.
Witchcraft
is obviously a fun thing to bring to the mid nineties, but with zero
stakes until the feature notices that it is running long [This does not
qualify for either NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast (under 100 minutes) orNinetyForChill.com - The Blog
(under 97 minutes).] every challenge is crammed into the third
act. This results in the only unique characters, Nancy (Fairuza Balk)
and Sarah (Robin Tunney) turns and efforts as antagonist and protagonist
being wasted along with any interesting special effects and visuals.
All this movie does is show girls things they wish they could do. It is like me
dangling a cat toy that Skimble wishes to devour.
And
that is why I love my cat Eva. She is wise enough to know that the
effort would be empty, and will not get off her ass to make any further
effort than a couple of reaches.
I
suppose this centering around escapism is cool for the target audience,
but it just lacks heart. With the exception of the third act, the
characters do not provide the story any heart. It could be chalked up to
this feature being written and directed by men. Knowing that, the sequel
released last year (Legacy) seems to be worth a view because it is being
handled by a talented woman in Zoe Lister-Jones. That feature gets
another selling point by knowing the original only earned its R-rating
with a few F-bombs in another thinly-veiled effort to be edgy. PG-13 would have better suited this feature.
"The
Craft" is nothing but a premise. It profited on its target audience
getting a dark movie about teenage life, but is not daring enough and
lacks any substance be it narrative or characters to live up to those
expectations. This feature may as well have also been a musical to
further hide the shortcomings. Give the girls music they can relate to,
and I know this opinion would be a futile effort to express.
We are back this week with a new full episode of NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast. This week, I talk with my friend Kodiak Thompson about the under appreciated talent and presence of Henry Rollins. When I said we were going to address Kodiak's favorite feature (and my second best discovery of 2019) "He Never Died", Mr. Thompson was ready to binge.
This ended up being a bigger challenge than I expected. Not many of the former Black Flag front man's sub 100-minute efforts are currently available streaming at a reasonable (free) rate. It seems that his debut performance in the Charlie Sheen take on the O.J. Simpson white Bronco affair, "The Chase" may be lost. Fortunately, it is not overly difficult to find montages of his performance in that flick, and my DVD collection allowed me to let him see the 2005 Project Greenlight feature, "Feast".
This was a pricier week for the podcast. Whenever I lend out a DVD, I use it as an excuse to purchase the film in HD. Then, discussing "He Never Died" made resisting purchasing that flick a pointless act. If I am going to buy the number two flick from 2019, it only makes sense to buy the number one ("Brigsby Bear") as well. But, those consequences were worth the great content that Kodiak provided.
A long with "He Never Died" and "Feast", we were both able to share our experiences with the "Pontypool Universe" when we watched the fever dream that is "Dreamland". I also get to discuss my Vudu freebie feature, "Wrong Turn 2: Dead End" and how it has lead me to seek out assistance in producing a podcast episode dedicated to Sean Bean (I am looking for volunteers to talk about the man who always dies. Email russthebus07@gmail.com).
And this episode also fulfills all my goals thus far. My review for the Natasha Lyonne starring horror flick, "Antibirth", covered my Cronenbergian suggestions. There is also a review for Stuart Gordon's aquatic horror effort (per Screen Drafts), "Dagon" that also mentions the body horror master. And "Ally's Accessories Shop's Trash Cinema" finally delivers an acceptable feature with the Lawrence Fishburne and Bill Paxton in "The Colony".
I
think I may need to quit following the Nine Inch Nails Facebook group.
It seems "Everyday Is Exactly the Same." There is also the fear that the
Marilyn Manson situation will take down Trent Reznor, but I digress. If
I keep down that rabbit hole, we will get into my thoughts about Armie
Hammer as a patsy to reinforce QAnon's thoughts that liberals are
cannibals and how that will lead to celebrities actually eating people.
If morons are going to believe hearsay as irrefutable facts,
celebrities might as well start doing that because it is expected of
them.
The
point is, "I believe I can see the future, because I make the same
mistakes". At least no one will confuse my quotations from this blog for
being those of Johnny Cash.
It
has been an exhausting few days. Sleeping in is not really a thing when
you have cats. The podcast is requiring me to watch a movie each night.
Between wrestling and "The Daily Social Distancing Show", the movie
start times will take me into the wee hours of the morning.
Getting to
bed before 2 am is a challenge because despite the movies being under
100 minutes, pausing to take notes and many times the need to record my
visceral take on a features can make everything a two-hour affair.
But if I did not mention so many movies on the prior podcast, would it
even have been 20 minutes (19) long if I did not add those reviews in post?
This
exhaustion maybe hindering my enjoyment of WrestleMania season. I try
my best to only have a big meal a day, and with my podcast being
finalized during Monday Night Raw, it is easy to get through that
evening with a the Great Value Glucerna knock off. I ain't got time to snack.
Am
I watching much of Raw? Probably not as much as the McMahons hope. Not
because of my attention being dedicated to my podcast, it is just
difficult to know when to jump in.
I
skip the first half hour because of the 20-minute opening promo. At
7:30 pm (CST), I tune in, but cannot recall seeing anything spectacular
the last couple of weeks. That must be my official disapproval of the
Retribution angle. When 8:00 opens with an effort to get Lacey Evans
over, "Family Guy" is my cable destination. If there is a great story
about the Griffins at 8:30 on TBS, USA should be glad that I can
only take so much of Peter's laugh, so I will be back at 9:00 to spend the next hour frustrated. Randy Orton being your main event
two weeks in a row does not restore confidence in the product.
I
am starting to have more faith in the Impact product than WWE's. Their problem is that they are still relying on disqualifications and count
outs to stretch out stories. Because of that, Impact still gives off a
WWE light vibe. Tony Khan is not going to buy Impact, so we are not
going to see a change in the booking style of Impact.
Once
AEW can tour again, they will not need the interpromotional drama. If
Khan's booking style has yet to rub off on Anthem Wrestling Exhibitions,
it is not. So I need energy to watch their product. Tuesday is usually
an off campus trip for lunch, so a Glucerna should be my evening meal.
But after a three midnight movie stretch, I lack the energy to
make it through the broadcast without real food.
And
of course, once I open up the box of Cheetos Mac 'n Cheese and put the
water on the stove, the AEW content comes on. After the paid ad, I could
have turned on "Wrong Turn 2: Dead End", watched Trevor Noah off the
DVR, and be in bed by 11:30 pm. Was I supposed to just let the Cheetos
pasta go stale and waste the water. The water mainly, yes, I have zipper
bags for Chester's stuff. Regardless, waste not want not.
Which
leaves me pondering about whether I eat the Wing Stop wings I was going
to save for last night, tonight. Three-fifths served as lunch
yesterday, I just left the other eight nuggets (Wings have bones.) in the bank's fridge. The idea was to snack
on them last night. Tonight, my take on TGI Fridays Wings will be
prepared (It is a sauce second to Gardner's Pizza and Wings.), but are 12 really going to hold me over?
AEW
being more like a sport leads to sporting event eating habits. After
you spend $7 on a hot dog, you might as well surrender your wallet and
buy an overpriced pretzel. I would be so broke if I was a beer drinker
at a ball park. That money is meant to be spent on comic books and used
video games from the shops three blocks away. Unfortunately, the Ricketts's re-imagination of
Wrigleyville may end up leaving me with high priced drinks as my only
option.
And
that is why I hate evening baseball on the Northside. Being from
Downstate, to catch a game live, I am going to need to take a day. Why
not play during the day any chance you get. There were only suppose to
be 27 night games a year anyhow.
It is a great home field advantage when you catch a team playing on the west coast that needed to play into the wee morning hours only to have to play ball eight hours later. Most of the bars around the park stay open to 4 am anyhow.
The
most recent reason for day baseball in Chicago is that mean my podcast
will not take away from my enjoyment of the Cubbies. When the Cubs play
while I am work, it sucks that I cannot watch them, but that is the hand
fate dealt me. Evenings, how can I focus on producing my podcast and
the greatest franchise in all of sports (I said greatest, not the
best. I probably should have used beloved. Fuck the Red Sox)?
Does anyone have any pointers on maximizing movie viewing time to live a normal couch potato life? If you do, send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. This is probably the simplest thing I will ask for advice on from my readers. Let us develop a report...
So
that you will be cool when I am more aggressive about asking for your help with my
low-budget, pro-wrestling, zombie-comedy feature "Main Event of the
Dead". If you need a script treatment or have any pointers on getting
the flick out of development hell, email russthebus07@gmail.com.
After
successfully predicting the Super Bowl on FanDuel, I am definitely in
the position to afford the subscription fees to a podcast hosting
platform. Thus, a square logo is needed to fit on Apple Podcasts,
Spotify, Google Podcasts, and Stitcher apps. Above was the best I could
immediately come up with. If anyone wants to clean up this concept or
have a better one to offer, drop me russthebus07@gmail.com an email and I would be happy to discuss obtaining that image from you.
Is
the podcast ready to be migrated to a different platform, not after
this week failing to work out the way I wanted. There are people that can be
called out in terms of offers and lack of replies when called upon to deliver,
but I digress. Also, my uniqueness as a Russ Stevens is lacking. Below
is the first image that comes up that represents me when I am Google
image search.
This
also means I need to take on a different moniker. It looks like "The
Scoop" Stevens is the leading nominee. Promoting myself as Cool Movies
(CM) Darth seems to be a flirtation with disaster and others with the
name Russ Staley had approached me in regards to using that wrestling
moniker. I suppose I could just go back to the RC gimmick (The Single-A
Saint).
Fortunately, the next episode has a guest and an awesome premise (Sub 100-minute) Henry Rollins, so expect a return to form.
As
for this episode, Ally from Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy visited
her/our cat Skimble and had a story about people food ruining the trail
of cats left in her wake. People food and Skimble's expectations of
partaking in dairy products lead to me wanting to discuss the Milla Jovovich/Emma
Roberts feature "Paradise Hills" and his efforts to get his share of Ben
& Jerry's Netflix & Chilled.
From
there, Ally provides us with some reading suggestions and an update on
her shop. I get to go off on some tangents about Robert Rodriguez's "Alita: Battle Angel" and pregnancy horror movies like "Snatchers".
We also discuss why cats are so often horror movie victims. There is
also my Super Bowl prediction that I willed into existence. You are
welcome Tom Brady.
I
definitely earned that $275. There was an accidental deposit trying to
set up my account. To get the money moved around, my ice scraper was
destroyed, I had to fill up my tire where I dropped my wallet and had to
back track to obtain. Of course there was a near miss accident. The work was put in.
This
is only a 20-minute episode. If you want to just get to the movie chat,
below is my YouTube play list of these three features. I think Ally is
interesting enough to give 11 minutes to. As for me...I am worried about
the Friend Zone chat. You be the judge.
It is a constant theme of "NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast"
for me to call out the wrestler CM Punk for being a sociopath. That is
because he was one of my favorite wrestlers as the Internet became more
prevalent. I just presumed RussTheBus was already taken in most cases
when I was asked for a new username. By 2007, the Internet was something
I had been using for at least 10 years. Why would I expect to be the
only Bus?
The point is, if I am going to mention my Letterboxd account, CMDarth,
I feel I need to explain that I am a mark, but I do not approve of his
inability to take responsibility for his actions. This guy has felt no
need to apologize for nearly destroying Colt Cabana's life and then has the gall (ironic MMA career) to feel
attacked when people call him out for it.
Sociopath
seems like the right word, and I think he may even sell merchandise
suggesting as much. I just verified that. And I always thought it was
the Drug-Free portion of the shirt that prevented me from purchasing it.
I
know the guy has done some good things, but I think his motivation is
because he knows people will further admire him for that. The story
about paying off Joey Mercury's house before it could get foreclosed
upon was wonderful, but it showed no personal responsibility. He saved
the life of a recovering addict, but it was the drugs that lead Mercury there, not Punk's guilt. Fixing his mistakes like his Cabana
affair would acknowledge that he did something wrong to begin with.
Did
he do anything wrong? He put his best friend in a risky position and
promised that nothing was at stake. This was a bed he made, but he
refused to lie in it. To do so was to acknowledge that he screwed up. If
you expect him to pay anything for him expressing himself, you might as
well accept that you are a fascist.
All
that can be said, is thank the gods he is on our side. Perhaps politics
is a career path he can pursue, but he has been making what I find to
be excellent decisions in term of feature films to star him. He is still
so cool, so it can be difficult to hit the publish button to call him out on his bullshit, but I
gotta take those initials away for my own promotion.
If he is up for it, I am happy to drive up to Milwaukee to trade holds and strikes for the moniker. Otherwise, Cool Movies Darth's work will have to speak for itself.
Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)
This
might be the "Shazam" of the MCU. It is good, but by this point in a
franchise, I was in the mood for a continuation of the darker elements.
This film was released in the same year as the "Endgame". You cannot put
the darkness away.
It feels like another restart for Peter
Parker, making him seem like he is in the sitcom franchise of this
universe. The character is not evolving in the same sense that Thor,
Cap, and Tony Stark had this many appearances in. At least Ant-Man
second mission was dependent on the first feature. This was just put
"Homecoming" in Europe.
The feature also shows that Sony and
Marvel are playing it safe until it does not work. There is nothing
exceptional about the direction except in the case of the illusions that
Spider-Man faces. I would almost suggest Ruben Fleischer could have put
more into this film.
As for the narrative, Mysterio seems to
have a lot of wasted potential and the final revelation in the credits
makes me think that the conclusion to a suspected trilogy might be
rushed. I am not enough of a comic book reader to suggest who should
lead The Avenger going forward, but counting on an adolescent seems like
they are taking the edge off of the larger narrative.
"Spider-Man:
Far From Home" may have just been released to late in the MCU to feel
like it is on the level of the other features in it. The soft tone is
great for new audiences, but after 22 films, who is new?
Hellboy (2019)
Conceptually,
this incarnation of “Hellboy” is fine. It justifies featuring a
delightfully cranky Ian McShane. There are great set pieces that give it
a crazy comic book vibe. It features the over-the-top violence that
Neil Marshall thrives on. Any movie with a scene set to a Muse song
and/or Motley Crue’s “Kickstart My Heart” cannot be bad.
But this
is very, very flawed. Too much CGI for a Marshall...perhaps even a
George Lucas flick. The biggest thing missing is the charm that we were
provided from Guillermo Del Toro’s franchise. That series featured fully
developed characters, not just bad asses. You can have a movie of just
tough guys. The 80’s thrived on that. But when you recall the emotional
grounding Ron Perlman gave Big Red, this fun feature is just a shell of
its predecessor.
Castle Freak (1995)
It is a pity that “Castle Freak” was a straight to VHS release. The DVD
transfer appears to be straight from VHS. Stewart Gordon presents a
great narrative and that allows for Jeffrey Combs most dynamic
performance. I do not appreciate the cat murder, but the brutality of
all the mutilation is spectacular and the antagonist intelligence and
compassion shines through. Brisk and brutal with a style paying tribute
to goalposts, I cannot ask for more.
The New Mutants (2020)
“New Mutants” would be gold if only released earlier in the franchise.
Nothing spectacular, but not all mutations are grand. It actually
warrants benefiting from a plus 95-minute runtime. This is what happens
if you are not a spoiled Charles Xavier brat. It ties itself to the rest
of the “X-Men” franchise well which is what is most important. This is
how you make “Nightmare on Elm St accessible.
Used Cars (1980)
Robert Zemeckis’s under appreciated debut and effort to shake the House
of Mouse image from Kurt Russell. What happened to simple yet epic
R-Rated comedy? “The Goods” was good, but did not have the nerve to be
excellent.
GeoStorm (2017)
Did Dean Devlin fail to sell a “GI Joe 3” script. No use of good actors,
no humor, and not enough dialogue. It screams an hour ten minute script
with lots of descriptions of disasters that are slow to take hold.
The Gentlemen (2019)
"The Gentlemen" is the best Guy Ritchie film since "Snatch". Aside from
"Swept Away", he doesn't miss. "Revolver" help me become an atheist.
Great dialogue through out, but no home run lines like his first two
flicks.
Fatman (2020)
Mel Gibson stars as a worn Chris Cringle who is fed up with children
needing to receive coal more often than not. But having to accept a
military contract to make up for the lack of toys being delivered has
put things in perspective for him and he will be back to being the jolly
old fat man in no time. Too bad fourth grader Billy does not take
lessons and hires the Skinny Man to take St. Nick out. Too much
exposition in the first act. 2nd act is a solid narrative. The showdown
is great. It is just funny collateral damage away from being a classic.
Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)
A Disney movie that I would have like to have been high for. Overly
long, a derivative plot, and a possible reason for that Gal Gadot
“Imagine” sing-a-long. Still, there are plenty of fun moments, so it is
the perfect encapsulation on the Internet. It is not all wrong, but
still far from the mark.
And of course the text layout makes it look like I meant the actual capital C-word. So went the production of this episode.
The initial plan for this episode was just to get some quips from previous guests Ally from AllysAccessoriesShop on Etsy and Letterboxd's ThePoeticCritic.
In other words, I did not have a new guest lined up. If you want to chat about sub 100-minute movies for 35 minutes over Zoom, shoot an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.
It was supposed to be as simple as press play in Audacity and get 20 or
so minutes of us chatting about movies. The laptop was opened and the
mic was out, so neither should have been caught by surprised, but I just
started recording. And then...
ThePoeticCritic
became more laser focused than I have seen her and gave me over an hour
of material. Oh how the tables had turned.
I
cannot say that my older sister is overly empathetic, but damn can she
be passionate, especially towards her friends and their pandemic plight.
The first weekend of February is usually the weekend of B-Fest,
an annual 24-hour movie marathon of the finest B-movies that are
available to the students and staff at Northwestern University in
Evanston, IL. Being in Chicagoland, her friends from all over the
country would fly in to take part in this extended:
audience-participation version of an
episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000; viewers are encouraged to voice
their opinions of onscreen events, especially if such comments provide
entertainment for the other festival attendees. (B-Fest.com)
Big
sis has yet to attend the festival, and with the current state of world
affairs, romanticizing any nerdy gathering cannot be helped. The result
of this is her giving us quite the oral history of an event she has
only dreamed about. If we do not get our shit together about COVID-19, she
can only dream about shouting out her original riffs towards Ed Wood's
"Plan 9 From Outer Space".
Take it from
experience, one can only dream so much before that dream becomes a chip
on one's shoulder. Christian teachings (not practices) and Eastern
philosophies has kept me from flinging that boulder at the world, but my
sister has never attended a martial arts class to develop that
discipline. I would hate to see her go Cobra Kai on some anti-maskers
who denies her the simple pleasures and escapes.
Fortunately,
she has not finished the Stuart Gordon and David Cronenberg
filmographies, so she can still maintain a cinematic zen-like state. We
explore Gordon's work like every movie podcast should and take an even
deeper dive into Cronenberg's "The Fly". We even ebate whether "A History of
Violence" is more heartwarming than the Goldblum flick.
To
further the length of this podcast, Ally lets me bullshit with her
about cinema and life. That went on for 10-minutes, so I cut the cat and
tat chat from this pod's intro. But who does not want to hear about
cats destroying condos? Stick around till after David Tenant calls
for a "Woo Hoo" to get all of the Realtek audio.
I
think it sounds alright (thanks Audacity), I just need to be a little more attentive to
the input setting to assure that Blue quality is what I provide every
week. Thanks for your patience.
I am starting to ponder what will happen when the lobby is finally reopened at the bank. This may as well be a critique of The AV Club and The Ringer.
If they could come up with more content, I may not have to come up
with blog ideas solely to kill time on the first day back from the weekend.
Of
course as I write that, with the bank technically closed (at least the
lobby would be which would mean there aside from deposits and withdraws,
save your queries for 8:30 am or lunch), everyone pulling up to the
drive thru asking about stimulus checks and checking on the status of
accounts that were to be opened and depositing into them regardless. To
hell with instant karma. Please accept my apologies Bill Simmons.
*Blog restarted on January 28, 2021.
It
looks like the previous rant may have just been a case of the Mondays. And
it could be stated that I may have just been more productive with
myself. Writing out tweets to post through out the week can be very time
consuming.
If
only I had a reason for all the B-movie posters images I send with
some of the reviews. There really is not any use for them outside of
those reviews. The right panel on my all blogs have enough odd imagery
to serve as decoration. They do beat selling ad space.
Ad space is for NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast.
With a need for guests on that podcast, you would not even need to pay a
fee for your upcoming plugs and event. Just send me a theme and keep
the movies we are going to talk about to under 100 minutes. My email is russthebus07@gmail.com.
I may just not have the same energy. The podcast production can take a
toll on me. Trying to nail down guests kind of makes everything a mad
dash to make my Tuesday deadline. If only I was confident enough to
believe the 10's of listeners come solely for my flat monotone and dry personality, the need to find the appropriate sound bites and trailers
would be unnecessary.
If
I am frustrated about anything, it is the sense that nothing is going
on. We have a respectable president right now and another week till the
impeachment trial starts. There is not much to get worked up about, and
because of that, a need to focus on my screens be it 6.06" to 43" is lacking.
Without podcast needs to meet, is it worth staying up late for?
And
of course wrestling is in that holding pattern to. Nothing Earth
shattering will be happening out of New York until after Sunday's Royal
Rumble. It is great to have Xfinity once the WWE Network migration
occurs. If you get Xfinity's cable TV, you get Peacock Premium. Just
wish I did not have to pay for $9.99 January and February.
When
it comes to streaming services, I do not know how much longer I will
have NBCU's service. "The Office" has never intrigued me and with the
exception of Championship Sunday, they never show enough Newcastle
United. Once my TV package comes up in May, I have my means of getting
all I need via streaming. The likelihood of WWE keeping my interest past
April 11 is not good.
What
will keep my interest...aside from NXT-style matches and booking on
Mondays and Fridays? I do not know. They could take the New Japan route
and introduce more championships. Wrestle Kingdom 13 had nothing but
championship matches with the exception of one. You had to be a top
contender or a champion to be on the show of shows. Does that not add
gravitas to the event?
More championships would be good for the next WWE 2K simulation game, if we ever receive one again.
One
of my favorite things about the game is downloading all of the fan
created championships. Downloading wrestlers is fun until you see an
updated version or need to pay for the DLC to be allowed to download
them. Title belts are usually one and done deals. The biggest challenge
is tracking down the side plates they tried before they found the ideal
ones for a performer. Did you know Natalya and Jinder Mahal had the
plates replaced in their title reigns? Roman Reigns, Daniel Bryan, and
Bray Wyatt seem to get different ones each reign.
Being
a wrestler who was coming up in the business during the National
Wrestling Alliance licensing its names to indie promotions (NWA No
Limits, NWA Midwest, IWA-Midsouth, NWA-Missouri...or so Shane Somers
claimed), I found it fun to find out who is the best in a territory, and
to see if they got the custom belt made, or just repurposed a WWE
replica. The WWE 2K series allowed us to see the classic belts of the
territories. This made me want to optimize the game the best I could
solely to create territorial shows (Dozer City Wrestling was my
interpretation of Peoria).
If
only I had an abundance of friends. This if would allow me to easily
come up with weekly podcasts and when we are gaming against each other
like it was 1992 to 1994 ("Street Fighter 2" to "Mortal Kombat 2")
people would make choices just to spite the games owner. You cannot
justify Smoke being the Pacific Northwest Champion.
Regional
titles sound like a good idea to me when WWE gets back on the road. I
for one think every TV show needs a title defense. Maybe if each region
had a champion (at worst, there would be 52 of them based on how many
loops there can be in a year), the fans would become invested in the
champion. You could have a belt collector gimmick. If anything, it gives
you a dark match main event.
52 titles maybe a bit much, but why not bring back some of these unique belts.
Will it draw out Walter from overseas? I doubt it, but you can at least poke the bear.
If
you recall the runs of D'Lo Brown who claimed to be residing in Warsaw,
Poland by way of Chicago or Al Snow representing a different country
with each defense, this title would offer some fun creativity each week
and probably amuse the company's dad.
The Heritage Championship:
The
meaning of the word does not really matter when you look at promotions
that feature it. In AAW, Danny Daniels did not like to have to cut to
cruiserweight, so he just renamed the promotions Cruiserweight
Championship to the Heritage Championship after he won it. I never had the nerve to ask
my trainer how much of that was shoot and how much kayfabe.
Since
Heritage seems to represent a prestigious pass, this title could be
competed for by your great workers as a tribute to the Bret Harts, Curt
Hennigs, and Shawn Michaels. As an example, Chad Gable could win it and
solely focus on it. Vince can keep ignoring him because he knows the
fans will want him to hold this title.
The Internet Championship:
I
know Ultimate Pro Wrestling had established an Internet
Championship before Matt Cardona came up with his. Since the promotion
has shows solely dedicated to their over-the-top network, why not give
them a reason to be invested in glorified dark matches.
Why is there not a "King of the Dark Match" Championship Tony Khan?
If
Peacock/WWE Network is not internet enough for New York, just call it
the NBCU Championship. It is about time WWE started copying AEW.
Why not a TV Championship:
Vince
McMahon had always hated the concept. To introduce time limits to bouts
indicates AEW is doing something right. I also think promotions like
NWA, ECW, TNA, and ROH established the titles just to prove that they
were on TV. If we were not a big deal, how come we have a title for our
TV show.
That
was how it worked with CB Kane's Thunder Wrestling Federation. New Jack
was totally warranted in stabbing their performers. Sorry, for feeling
the promotion needs to be punished for those hours I lost in Brunswick, GA.
*Blog concluded on February 1, 2021.
It is kind of disappointing that we cannot bring back the Hardcore/Brass Knuckles concepts.
We
must keep in mind, the reason I am saying we should bring back/create
new championships is because it takes away the need for creating drama
like the Jeff Hardy relapse angle and all of that cucking. Better
storylines means you do not need extra championships. That is why I am
not asking Tony Khan to bring us new belts (except King of the Dark
Match and to let John Silver wear the BTE Championship on TV).
After
the Royal Rumble 2021 concluded, a former worker who cannot be that
much older than I said he did not like Edge winning the Royal Rumble. I
responded with the following:
I am now in the over 40 club and I say, fuck yeah Edge. Not since Flair did anyone his age had to go over 50 minutes.
If you can't book new talent, then book to give us a good show.
I
guess in the end, I say give us more championships. Just because they
have had success booking a guy for 10 years, it does not mean they can
replicate it. The Greatest Wrestling Match did not impress me, and did
book Edge into a torn triceps. Here is to hoping Roman Reigns is
accurate with that golf cart as he was last night.
