Ally‘s Under Appreciated 90-Minute Feature Revue

NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast

Episode 44: Ally‘s Under Appreciated Feature Revue (The Finest DVD Curiosities).

Films Researched for this Podcast: Johnny Handsome (1989); The Order (2001); The Colony (2013).

Thus far, Cool Movies Darth has provided 22 trash feature reviews provided by Ally's Accessories Shop on Etsy. This week, we focus on the features that did not get prominently promoted on the podcast AND are actually worthwhile. "Johnny Handsome", "The Order" and "The Colony" prove that it is tough to go wrong with Morgan Freeman, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and the tag team of Bill Paxton and Lawrence Fishburne.

 

 

If you checked out my most recent blog from MainEventOfTheDead.com (Maudlin Over: Booze, $6 Dog Poo, Pro-Wrestling Rankings [The post technically gets dropped tomorrow.]), you know I probably did not have the energy for what the week had in store for me. Everything has worked out...well, I say that, but we will not find out about reassembling money that a dog ate and tried to digest until the next time that occurs. It just makes for a good excuse on why this episode is a compilation of reviews for DVDs Ally bought form me.

Deactivating my Facebook account did not help things. I could have had one of my most enthused past guests back, but Messenger, despite being active, does not send notifications if Facebook is not active. This makes me wonder if Zuckerberg knew about MoveOn.org's "Quitting Facebook Day" and just set up the other Meta apps to fail those who followed through.

Anyway, Five Thirty Eight has a great article on what we need out of this evil social necessity. Check out "Facebook’s Algorithm Is Broken. We Collected Some Spicy Suggestions On How To Fix It."

 

 

 

I had originally planned to make up for my lack of guests this week with a recording I made with ThePoeticCritic inspired by "Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior", but to give it proper context (to transition to Australian New Wave), I felt I needed to watch a Russell Mulcahy movie. The film I decided to watch was "Resident Evil: Extinction". And then I realized that a new "Resident Evil" movie comes out next week. It seemed more appropriate to save that show for next week.

In the end, I decided that there were some reviews that I had recorded which are thrown into the middle or near the end of previous episodes. Some of them are fun movies, so I think they deserved a second chance. What that says about my confidence as a critic/podcaster, you can decide. If it is good, give me those five-star reviews on your preferred podcast apps. If it is bad, please direct the negativity to my current Twitter account @catbusruss.

 

Of these three fims, only "The Order" is a tough one to confidently sell. JVCD trying to be the next Indiana Jones screams made for video. But the fact that there is a showdown between him and Brian Thompson makes it worthwhile. We finally find out what would have happened in "Lionheart" if the two met with the fate of Israel on the line.

As for "Johnny Handsome", who can resist a zero-f*** giving Morgan Freeman and Lance Henriksen at his most 80s unhinged?

My Twitter account is @catbusruss. This is where I want your hate to be directed if you disapprove. Otherwise, positive feedback would be best displayed as subscriptions to my podcast and five-star reviews. Lets work that algorithm.

If you think you have a film or franchise that you are an expert on. Send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. Most franchises have at least one feature that will qualify for NinetyForChill. The runtime just needs to be between 74 and 99 minutes. We have four episodes to fill.

 

I have been asking for weeks for assistance in composing an episode dedicated to vampire features like "The Lost Boys" trilogy, "Near Dark", and the "Underworld" movies. Here is to hoping that this bunch of critiques will stir up some inspiration in my audience to step up and hold off on the garlic. If this is a topic you up for discussing, feel free to send an email to russthebus07@gmail.com. All I need is a half hour on Zoom to get this done.

I hope I am impressing or at the very least amusing you with this podcast and I am open to any and all criticism. My biggest want is more guests and more suggestions on what to chat about (@catbusruss, russthebus07@gmail.com@coolmoviesdarth). If we can get 3 hours out of "Little Nicky", the possibilities are endless. Thanks for visiting.

 

After WrestleMania Backlash, I will tell you that we need to take zombie pro wrestling back. My suggestion is that we finally get my low-budget zombie movie, "Main Event of the Dead" off the ground. The script lacks a lumberjack match, so you know it has got to be better than the "Army of the Dead" advertisement. Ask for a treatment or give me suggestions on how to get it to a crowd-sourcing stage with an email to russthebus07@gmail.com.