"Sucker Punch": A Shot-on-Video Movie from 2008 and the The Start of 2021

 *Blog post started on January 7, 2021.

So I was angry to the point where I did not feel much like joking. If that shit had to happen, why on my day off? Once AEW concluded, it left me feeling like I had wasted all the time before hand with that frustration. In other words, the pissed off conservative trolls were either too confused or too afraid to acknowledge they have been calling for an insurrection to engage me on Twitter.

Fortunately, gambling is not something that I plan to take up this year. I thought we had a chance for a quiet return to normalcy. Dr. Dre seems to be recovering from the brain aneurysm. Georgia went blue. It seems we just cannot have nice things.

My wishes for things to be quiet were pointless though. If things are quiet, then there is less on the internet for me to read. With less to read, more down time has been established. How do I spend my down time? Writing is the answer of course. When the rational world knows Trump should be removed from office, can I really add to it (beyonds recommending Twitter accounts that should be locked out like their leader's)?

Wrestle Kingdom 5: Night 2 was a solid card, but no surprises except for the promise that Jon Moxley will defend the United States Championship for a third time. Unless NJPW is going to work with AEW, thus allowing KENTA of the Bullet Club to return to Orlando and make a trip up to Jacksonville for the match. I suppose since Moxley is battling a Biz Cliz off shoot, Moxley does not have to look weak in defeat.

I do not want to make this blog (Main Event of the Dead) solely about the wrestling business. This must be an indicator that I should get to work on my next fictional project. If you have any ideas on how to move my pro-wrestling zombie comedy, "Main Event of the Dead", out of development hell or would like a script treatment, feel free to send them to russthebus07@gmail.com. That will at least give me some kind of distraction. It may be hard to write my idea for a television pilot on bank hardware.

Then again the "Main Event of the Dead" treatment I composed for Chicago's best wrestler was compiled on the Mark Twain's concierge computer, so perhaps I need to be daring for the sake of being daring. Of course, if someone from Peoria (or Chicago) were to claim my work, I have the copyright so I will get my pound of flesh. It is a catch 22. Write it on my laptop, neglect my cats for a few evenings, and then secure the copyright despite no one will buy copyrighted material. Write it on bank software but leave a trail for it to be stolen before I can sell it.

It seems theft is what all drama is based upon. The Trump base is trying to steal the election. Jon Moxley wants vengeance against Kenny Omega for stealing the AEW World Championship from him. I want to own my ideas, but you cannot sell intellectual property. If only I could come up with a Danny Ocean style crew to turn the negatives into positives.

Demonstrating my charisma is what I hope to start achieving. Tonight, I am going to try and gather a podcast based on NinetyForChill.com out of my former partner. She is pretty reserved, but tell her to drop her Etsy shop into the conversation, this might pay off.

If only I did not have to listen for customers. If it was like my old copy-writing gig, I could just listen to podcasts. That way, I could listen to all of my friends who have started podcasts and start to network with obtainable guests. It seems cheaper than paying for Patreons to secure them.

Unless everyone of the locals have Patreons. The pay walls just takes away the will to struggle to fame and fortune. There are no dues to pay, or at least anyone who is willing to pay for them.

Or perhaps it is all about opening a print-to-order T-shirt shop. It worked for Tony Khan. I wonder why he has not turned to making chic merchandise for the Jaguars. Bullet Club mash up with Jackson de'Ville, and the sales can get you those generational talents that this AFC South team so desperately needs.

*January 8, 2021.

The recording of the first "Ninety For Chill: The Podcast" seems to have went well. I was starting to partake of my whiskey collection during the recording, so needless to say I have not played the Zoom meeting back, recorded an intro, or began editing. Because of the alcohol, there was no way I was going to partake in the NuEra Hybrid that I have at home. Something needed to be done with the rest of the evening, and "Ninety For Chill: The Website" has been falling behind in content.

My original title for this blog was going to be "Theft: The Insurrection; The US Championship; The Podcast", so I thought a heist movie would be good to unwind to. Unfortunately, these movies tend to require a lot of detail, so finding one that was under 97 minutes did not go well. Netflix did mail me a 2008 feature called "Sucker Punch" that was about underground fighting in London. Since those films are about grifting, that seemed an appropriate subject as the Trump presidency comes to an end. Being incredibly ugly by being shot on video...possibly tape also seems fitting when the government was held hostage by a bunch of people who could not program a VCR.

If only the Capital Building had a clock out front flickering 12:00 a.m. at the traitors, the confusion could have slowed the siege down. And it would have kept those twats who objected to the certification from even showing up.

Tom Hardy | Sucker Punch (2008)

@isabelleanneq - Pinterest

 
Sucker Punch (2008; 1 hour 32 minutes)

Charles Buchinsky is seemingly a damaged pit fighter who decides London is where he needs to be. He claims to have loose ends to tie up, but it may simply be in the capital because he needs a manager to get his fights set up. After he walks into a fight and dominates, both the menacing manager Victor Maitland and the flamboyant Ray "Harley" Davidson. Something about Maitland's demand of the room leads to absolute no trust from Buchinsky, so he is quick to consider an offer from Harley despite the struggles to survive are worn all over his face.

Maitland is dead set on never letting Harley have an opportunity to show him up, so every fight for Buchinsky comes with ridiculous entrant fees. Harley is a gambler in every facet, so he is always quick to spend whatever his fighter takes in. This results in Harley needing to approach loan sharks to provide him money in hopes that Buchinsky will win the big one for him. As Maitland keeps throwing obstacles in Buchinsky's way, the fighter's perseverance leave all the spectators certain that he will be the top guy in London. With all the spoils that come with being his promoter, will Harley be able to stay on top if that happens, or is he just looking for the next large prize? How long can his fighter continue to represent his dreams of outrageous fortune?

"Sucker Punch" is without a doubt the ugliest film featuring a Tom Hardy scene, but the story has a lot of heart and two every man protagonists that you cannot help but get behind. It can be best summed up as a film for fight fans by fight fans.

Calling it a film by fight fans means it is probably better than one by Tap Out like "Locked Down", but do not expect high art. Writer/director Malcolm Martin did not have the apparel company's pre-Affliction funds. This means no additionally lit scenes that did not take place at a Cage Rage show (MMA home of the film's antagonist, Ian Freeman) and literally no kind of special effects. Thank the gods for England's strict gun laws.

For me, the cast, primarily "Red Dwarf's" Danny John-Jules, was strong enough to keep my attention and look past the ugliness of the production. The story is tried and true and one that I can watch over and over again (The end of "Lionheart" never fails to score some tears from me.). If you want a B-movie of vintage Van Damme, there is "Fight Night" for that fix. But you want to see how well this story can work with no budget, "Sucker Punch" proves it can and even add some Guy Ritchie like twists.

You have to love the effort to make movies to truly appreciate "Sucker Punch". This story was going to be pushed into visual media no matter what, so it is a pity for the dirty appearance that the budget could afford. Despite this, you have entertaining enough characters and a format that rarely fails. It brings MMA back to the 90's, and if you are nostalgic for low blows and soccer kicks, this is worth a watch.

 

Straight to DVD - Locked Down - If that title doesn't express limitations….

MMA movies may not help promote the sport, especially when the struggling, non-fighting actors seem less enthused than soft-core porn actresses. Hams like Bai Ling and Vinnie Jones almost make the feature bearable, but "Locked Down" shows why there is no art to the modern mix martial artist.

Danny Bolan is an undercover detective who has been framed after a messy drug bust. Intent to distribute, laundering, and second degree murder charges have landed him in Blackwood State Penitentiary, the same facility that houses the majority of the felons he has put away. This includes Anton Vargas, the powerful convict who runs the prison and uses it as the headquarters of his underground cage fighting promotion.

Pathetic professional performers and wretched direction make "Locked Down" a complete waste of time. Aside from the named actors, the best thing about the picture is watching UFC fighters trying to act.

You do have to appreciate the acting from Rashaad Evans, Forrest Griffin, and Kimbo Slice. They make themselves larger than life, and may be able to cut it as pro wrestlers. If only they knew how to make their fake moves look believable.

One would like to think that it was the director's fault since the man could not even film simulated sex well (if it does not involved drunk characters portrayed by Oscar-winning actors, it is not supposed to be gritty or von Triers-esque), but you cannot convince us that he did not catch a single punch landing?

This just shows these fighters are barbaric and do not have a mastery of what they do. You can stiff someone and not knock them out. What hurts the argument that MMA will be around forever is that they need to rely on pro-wrestling moves to make the film's fights interesting. The worst thing they could have scripted was Kimbo power bombing an opponent. It only indicates that MMA will eventually run out of things to excite the viewership.

With the MMA in this feature being a letdown, the non-MMA elements need to shine, and they do not. The casting is horrid. If your lead actor's only tattoo is a tramp stamp, the audience cannot respect him. Perhaps knowing that is why Tony Schiena makes porn actors look like British thespians. When you cannot get respect, why try to even earn it. Mario Lopez understood that.

"Locked Down" could have been junk food, but turns out to be stale chips. Vinnie Jones is fun and Bail Ling's breast are nice, but the action is wretched with no sense of believability. This guy movie cannot keep a teenage boy involved because the director cannot even frame a set of boobs let alone a scene. If you cannot nail sex and violence, stay away from American entertainment.