Wrestling Not the Oscars: For Your Consideration

I left my journal/"Pokemon X" notebook in the car, so hopefully I'll have some interesting to blog about because otherwise I'll just look like a twat who can't take his eyes off their phone at a wrestling show.

I doubt anyone wants to hear about what I can definitely define as a midlife crisis (both my grandfathers passed away at 74, so I suppose we can call this my 39), and because my elbow is tensing up from overly aggressive lab work, sticking to overdone and ill ideas in wrestling seems like the wise thing to write about. This seems like a premise I can finish up with just quick quips between matches.

Bodily Fluids to Avoid:

This one isn't really overdone, but you have to pick the right crowd to do it in. Chicago's indie crowd allows you to get away with it thanks to Shimmer. The January 16th, 2016, AAW show had a crowd that liked to make the show about them, but had enough respect for wrestling being wrestling regardless of gender.if this was a WWE crowd, I would advise that woman not spit at each other. You're just asking for obscene chants.

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"We Want Some Bayley: The Song"

Photo by Miguel Discart

"We Want Some Bayley"

Written by Russ "Scoop" Stevens

(to make Jonny Loquasto of the Wrestling Compadres comfortable with the Full Sail crowd's  2 Live Crew inspired chant).

Somebody say, "Hey, we want some Bayley."

Hey, we want some Bayley.

Let me hear you say, "Hey, we want some Bayley."

Hey, we want some Bayley.

Somebody say, "Hey, we want some Bayley."

Hey, we want some Bayley.

Everybody say, "Hey, we want some Bayley."

Hey, we want some Bayley.

She's the Saillor Senshi* of the two thousand teens.

Got some tall tube men for all of the parties.

She don't care if you use vicious knees.

She'll beat and hug till you beg for release.

If you wanna throw, just let her know.

You can get your chance at the end of the show.

You'll look at her, and think a kid you see.

You'll be the fool when she gives her long hair a squeeze.

Best know what to do, 'cause she will not flee.

Just kick your butt to reality T.V.

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"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens