What's Wrong with Wrestling (Part 2): Theater...If you can get past my Narnia bull shit.

I actually got back to my blog...and to a lesser extent Facebook (I got to promote)...to review's Michael Biehn's second directorial effort "The Victim," but I promised to address wrestling again in the last blog. It's a hindrance, but I need discipline (and some high impact athletic activity in the Peoria area, but like anyone's going to help me with that...but when you are Peoria wrestling).

I also need to get away from using parentheticals. My limited audience does not seem to appreciate my attempts to pay tribute to C.S. Lewis, but its not like I can praise the Christian overtones and racism of the latter "A Horse and His Boy." Thinking about the overtones, it leads me to wonder what if the
"Chronicles" was written by Charles M. Shulz. They already share a Lucy. Just swap her with Edmund and let Linus visit Mr. Tummus first. And have Aslan go "maw maw maw maw." If that doesn't sum up the Christian hierarchy...

Back to the subject at hand...well at least my transition from the work of James Cameron's greatest actor.

"The Victim" was an amusing Netflix DVD, but I think the man who out shined Charlie Sheen in "Navy SEaLs," missed the point of Grindhouse. It was done on the cheap, a plus, but with out any over-the-top gore and only mild female objectification, the film is just actors trying to cover up an overly straight forward story. After an appropriately shocking opening scene, a Grindhouse director needs to focus on keeping up the shock value or desensitize the audience to it. Otherwise, the film's value is possibly lost at breakneck speed.

What probably kept my attention the entire film is because the actors (at least its leads) do a good enough job making us care about them. But, as I stated earlier, Grindhouse (at least my opinion) is not supposed to be about the acting.

This concept is the same with professional wrestling.

Ever since Vince McMahon introduced the concept of Sports Entertainment everyone can get overly involved with the business. This would bring us David Arquette and Jay Leno defeating champions, Johnny Fairplay ruining independent promotions, money marks like VKM, Dixie, and Jason Pemperton (a bit of a stretch), but worst of all, guys who cannot protect the business, like JP.

Bringing it back to Sky Pro...I'll go further back to Next Generation Wrestling, you could count the guys who could back up their claims of being a bad ass on one hand. Big Pappa, Norman "Apocolypse" Calloway and Cory "I'll call the cops instead of have your ass kicked" Carter were not among them. My experience on the indies, if they aren't a brand, don't be afraid of picking a fight with them.

The only reason I watch professional wrestling is to see the guys who make you believe that wrestling is a sport, or made me think that you had to be tough as nails to do it. Raw was Jericho and I am always a Hulkamaniac (it wasn't that hard to make a four year-old believe), but ECW was what got me into wrestling.

Hell, I should be considered a Paul Heyman guy because I spent every Friday watch their program instead of living the P-Town White Trash ideal. Getting drunk on less than Frat party grade beer and knocking some girl up so they would have a reason to be blown up from 17 forward.

Thanks ECW for letting me get to know Stacia Hardin instead.

I couldn't be the best athlete, but I could be a great fighter, so I figured there would be a future for me because of that. Instead, the defenseless politicking left me a further anxious mess of a man.

I'm not questioning the toughness of self-proclaimed sports entertainers who have paid there dues, but their faith in the terms allow the money marks to screw the business up. They focus on gimmicks and cheap heat to get over, and why would you ever need to take a bump to do that?

It is playing a role instead of being a believable fighter. The best are the latter in the previous statement. I'd rather see the best instead of Santino Marella and the Great Kahli versus 3MB...or TNA wrestling.

The kids are always going to watch pro wrestling. It's time they got good pro wrestling. This way, it won't be bad pro wrestling when they turn 18. They'll have their heroes, and they'll still believe in them, if they were always believable.

My only other solution would be to replace Olympic Wrestling with Olympic Pro Wrestling. Dan Gable didn't need to be Iowa's coach to make a living after his one loss. He knew Verne Gagne.

And he could have stretched the shit out of the Hulkster.