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Saturday, June 22, 2019

Those for Conceal and Carry: America's New Pets (Schrodinger's Cat: Part 13)

Before we get into my leftist agenda, which wouldn't exist on this website dedicated to a film production, I'd like to at least attempt to spark your interest in "Main Event of the Dead." This is a film I written about "pro" wrestlers who get conned into competing against undead wrestlers with borderline offensive gimmicks. Nudity, gore and comedy, this film will attempt to take wrestling to an extreme and back from those who say "Let's Go Cena!" Feel fee to ask for a treatment of the story by emailing russthebus07@gmail.com

If only I could get WWE Films behind it. I'd definitely have a better tag line: "If Cena Lives, We Riot."

At this time, I'm not looking for finances to get this project off the ground, just support and some promotional material. If I I have that, I have something to post on Kickstarter to get the cash. 

Please send me your suggestions, if I haven't pissed you off. Or even if I have. That way, I won't need to constantly come up with material, thus the need to blog about what's wrong with the right will cease.

Honestly, I do not know why anyone would be offended when I'm comparing those people to the most adorable creatures on this planet, cats.

A few mornings ago, I leave my second floor apartment to see the heartwarming visage of a black cat with white paws wondering on the balcony. This left me in a very vulnerable state since other residents were leaving for their jobs, and no one was attending to this sleek furball. After a few moments, I was left to follow suit. Without tags, no matter how undoubtedly loving this feline maybe, I couldn't leave a wild beast with my furry, fluffy and awesome cat Eva. At least if she...

Why do we assign the feminine gender to cats...or at least why do I...lets avoid my personal issues for a change with this blog.

If this lost godly creature had her tags, someone could at least knock on the door of the owner to inform them that their residence is less holy. Without a response, I could at least present her with a safe social environment until the bi-peds (sorry if I'm just assuming all my neighbors haven't sacrificed legs to the Bush administration) returned from their places of works.

I hate having to do anything that may serve to restrict...or just tick off...my cute roommate, but I determined that my cat needed to sport her tags. A challenge since she won't communicate her fashion sense. But on the bright side, this means I have a cat urine-free wardrobe, at least until she gets of 3/8th inch choker.

Rationalization 42: Everyone Needs a Visible Tattoo for Identifications Sake.

I acknowledge, this concept isn't going to be popular with Holocaust survivors, but as someone who has been waited on at fast food restaurants and seen the name tag of with a vindictive ex-girlfriend's name on it along with similar features, it assured me that my cup of Buffalo sauce was spit free.

Anyhow, a possible reason the European Jews might not be happy about ID tattoos is because Hitler didn't allow them any input on their ink. If you have to get a tattoo, you don't want it to be something you're going to regret. I swore I had to have a Cubs tattoo before I died, so I felt that was mandatory.

And unless I run into a cowardly and paranoid White Sox fan, who would dare execute someone with a Cubbie bear on their arm. I should research this further. How many people have been executed by our "justice" system who also sported a Cubs tattoo (Texas excluded)?

I guess that's why Hitler didn't let those he tried to obliterate have emoji symbols instead of the lame numbers. The genocide wouldn't work if Gestapos were refusing to kill someone with a portrait of a odd-eyed Khao Manee.

So tattoos for ID's could save your life, and lead to tattoo tolerance because sleeves would only hinder our safety. And most people cannot pull off a face tat.

Rationalization 43: Bells for Bullets.

Back to the initial story. So, I went to Walmart, I visited the pet store websites and Amazon, and the result was an inability to protect yellow-eyed damsel. This is because all of the collars had bells on them. It's bad enough that she has to wander around her environment with unnecessary clothing while her "owner" can wander around with Dr. Jones (no time for love) hanging out. Sorry Eva, but your perfection would be flawed with a tattoo.

The bell is an unfair gimmick attached to cats. Yes, I know they're easier to find, but I trust my cat not to kill me, so there is no need to further stomp on her rights.

Curse that story about the mice conspirators and putting that bell around the neck of the cat that was only doing what nature intended, killing vermin. What kind of backwards message does that give kids? Mice shouldn't be killed, but there shouldn't be turds with your Rice Krispies. It must have been a scheme by capitalists who wanted to make money, kill things, and spit in their god's face by taking away his feline method of maximizing his kill count.

I do not fear my cat killing me in my sleep, but I am a little nervous about people who feel they need to have the ability to kill people without ever needing to engage them. Thus, I do not want to extinguish the need for a collar and bell market.

Imagine the money that could be made if we had bells around the necks of all gun owners. Imagine the safety we would feel knowing which anxious gutless individuals to avoid pissing off.

And imagine the kink that could become mainstream. It may encourage gun sells with guys buying Glocks to impress girls, and this time, owning a gun arm might actually compensate for a lack of balls.

The only problem is that they would need to be shock collars. We can't have them removed since we need to know when these invertebrates approach or what's the point? And I suppose we'd have to place them on all convicts, but isn't that equality? If you have a collar, we can't just assume you're a criminal. And I know there are a lot more assholes than convicts. Don't we all want a heads up to who to be cautious of?

The only reasonable objection are those who equate being collared to slavery (thanks "Game of Thrones"). I think that may make it appropriate because most of those who want to keep their guns are slaves to an archaic document.

It's almost like wearing a cross around your neck.

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