Best 2020 Ninety-Minute (or 97 min) Film Discoveries for Chilling

 

90-Minute Redbox: "VFW" a Rutger Hauer Away from Grindhouse Perfection

*Blog post started on December 30, 2020.

I do not know why I was complaining about my lack of video gaming this past year after having seven honorable movies I saw which are not going to make this list. My video game purchases are rarely made at full price ("Cyberpunk 2077" this year, "Pokemon Shield" in 2019, "Smash Bros. Ultimate" in 2018, "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild" in 2017, "WWE 2K16" in 2016, aside from Target "Buy 2 get 1 half off" deals, I am saving quite a bit on games. Maybe my retro purchases make up for the new game savings.). It just despairs me that I have lost another passion. Thanks 2020.

After this train wreck of a year in terms of the cinema, there is a bit of a fear that we are not going to receive much for content. Is NinetyForChill.com going to suffer do to that? It may just revert to the B-Movie archive that I may have intended it to be. If that happens, will anyone be interested in becoming a guest for "Ninety for Chill: The Pod" (Drop me russthebus07@gmail.com an email if you are interested.)?

If we want to think about more pressing matters, is this list going to suffer from me inadvertantly rushing through it when it comes to making the December 31 deadline? By me mentioning seven movies that I wish I would be able to include in the list, it seems appropriate to throw three more fun flicks in before we get to the top 10. What can I say? I love a challenge, or I am just innately make things more challenging.

How can I podcast. How can I handle two resolutions? Do I write off the daily something Buffalo meal?

2.5-Hour Double Feature - "The Velocipastor" and "It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To"

 

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90-Min Netflix DVD - "Silent Running" Great Message in a Pre Space Opera World 

 

Three More Honorable Mentions

"Smash Cut" (2009)

It was great to see that the director of "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter", Lee Demarbre, was still getting to make fun no-budget flicks. Sasha Grey's attachment shows that there is a market for quickly produced far fetched horror and while not a perfect script by any means, I enjoyed the fact that we still can get a feature in the vein of "Blood Feast" and "Bucket of Blood". I know we all wanted a movie about a director who has become sick of the limitations of practical effects and turns to the organs and appendages of their enemies to be documented at some point.

"Skin Trade" (2014)

Anytime you bill four great names on direct-to American video feature, skepticism is well warranted ("2047: Sights of Death"). It all depends of where the financing is coming from. Thankfully, when the Thai's build the line up of Dolph Lundgren, Tony Jaa, Michael Jae White, and Ron Perlman, they know they cannot afford to mess up. I would have wished for a few more direct match ups (Dolph v. White and Jaa v. Perlman for example), but it is a solid enough story with great action. Get over the CG effects that somehow got a portion of the $9 million budget, and you will have fun.

"Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010)

"Edward Frog: The Movie" is something that all fans of "The Lost Boys" wanted. It is too bad that Warner Bros. was skeptical of that as they released what was essentially a poor, sexed-up remake/parody of the original with "Lost Boys: The Tribe" to test the market. If that turned you off of the franchise, rest assure the threequel recovered from it by mocking the post-"Twilight" vampire culture not the classic vampire flick and focusing on the only attachment we had to the original, The Frog Brothers.

90-Minute Red Box: "The Hunt" a Great Wind Down from "Full Gear" Weekend.

 

Top Ten Best 2020 Ninety-Minute (or 97 min) Film Discoveries for Chilling

This list shows me that the last year was not a total shit show. I may not have accomplished much, but at least this will be documented.

10. "The Lure" o.k.a. "Córki dancingu"(2015)

For all of us who want the true spirit of Hans Christian Andersen when it comes to "The Little Mermaid", this Polish feature delivers that along side a great Europop soundtrack and some fun horror elements and themes. How could Andersen fail to include a bisection transplant in his original story is beyond me.

It is by no means perfect, but how would you expect a horror/comedy musical about man-eating mermaids to end up. The fun music, the knowledge of subject matter, and ridiculous premise and spectacle alone is guaranteed to provide some enjoyment for all oddball cinema fans.

This is the closest to Hans Christian Andersen we have gotten since Danny Kay.

9. "Snatchers" (2019)

This is the intersections of "Juno" and "Gremlins". Perhaps it could have tried to stay closer to a PG-13 to serve as a great abstinence message as in "Getting laid will cost you your friends and unleash the hell spawn you so deserve to destroy humanity". I suppose since "It Follows" was a hard R, it is best to just get out all the mayhem you want. My primary complaint would be, if you are going for the R, embrace the gore.

"Snatchers" is only a few tweaks away from being a classic horror comedy, so watching the second act will be a bit frustrating. When the feature commits to laughs and gores, it makes the annoyances worth it.

8. "Hardcore Henry" (2015)

It is going to take a little more work with the idea of a feature told entirely from the first person perspective, but if someone can nail it perfectly just once, I think we are looking at the future of action cinema. Why buy the PlayStation VR for "Iron Man" when you can just see the story in IMAX. Sadly, 2020 may have killed those prospects. If it is not in the theaters, the immersion is gone, and then its just a bunch on noise. Thankfully for this film, Sharlto Copley serves as a great guide which makes it more than a "Call of Duty" play through.

"Hardcore Henry" is not the happy medium between game and story, but it lays the groundwork for great filmmaking. At the very least, it is the blue print for good video game to cinema adaptations. It is all about IP, right?

 7. "Slither" (2006)

This is the middle ground between Troma productions and Marvel Studios. James Gunn humor is constantly present in this body horror feature. The cast is excellent and nearly perfect with every line reading and leaves you wishing that Nathan Fillon and Elizabeth Banks would get their own Marvel franchises.

If you are trying to introduce someone to horror who swears they have a sturdy their stomach is, "Slither" is the perfect flick. The humor will keep any audience involved while shocking non-genre and amusing the gore hounds. It is almost sad that this cannot cause the damage that "Gremlins" did to 80s' kids.

6. "V.F.W." (2019)

Another successful feature with a great ensemble cast. If you needed a more realistic version of "The Expendables", "V.F.W." is your ideal picture. It has the feel of a John Carpenter feature and gives you some great grindhouse moments. I think it should have leaned further into the exploitation vibes and humor, but when the story is told right, you do not get too demanding of a product.

"VFW" is aware that it is putting great and always competent actors in a place where there charms can carry the ridiculous. This allows everyone an in when it comes to watching this film. After they are in, be it gore, nostalgia, or action, everyone will find something great and should leave happy.

The Doorman - Die Hard with Girl Power and a Norwegian Knock Off Bill Burr

 5. "Feast" (2005)

Every horror sub-genre needs a feature to subvert it, and "Feast" does it for man-eating monsters.  I have yet to dive into the "Scream" franchise, but with the disappointment that surrounded the third, this may have been the last great horror comedy until "Tucker and Dale vs Evil". You love its awareness and how it plays towards the growing video game audience. The gore and, more importantly, the unrelenting surprises amuse, and the cast knows to lean into the humor to make this work. If only they did not try to get overly ambitious with the sequels on a lesser budget. A conclusion was not necessary.

Dunstan and Melton understand that horror (slasher) films can no longer be taken too seriously which allows "Feast" to be a brilliant horror comedy. This might defeat the intention of the concept of "Saw" (explains the just watchable nature of IV and VII), but as long as they never lose their ability to destroy the standards of the genre in the most clever way possible, they might be the most important horror writers of a generation.

4. "Near Dark" (1987)

I think this is definitely the most rewatchable title on this list and the most fun you can get from an unromantic vampiric tale ever. It features an iconic ensemble (Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen, and Jenette Goldstein arrive fresh of "Aliens".) cast and slaps the audience across the face with the fact that murdering people for food is not sexy despite our two leads' charisma. The universe it creates could use further exploring, so it may suffer from its close ended story.

Great direction, story, soundtrack and ensemble cast make "Near Dark" the most under appreicated vampire films of the past 40 years. It is a great early entry in the filmography of Kathryn Bigelow, and it demonstrates her understanding of what she is filming.

3. "Silent Running" (1972)

This subtle sci-fi classic deserves a lot more attention than it has received. It is a brilliant space adventure with a great message, and to add to its perfection, it throws in a borderline psychotic but incredibly likable Bruce Dern. The droids are a great basis for all robots to follow after it. If it is lacking anything for space opera fans, it is space battles which is not why you are watching it. The lack of action is probably why this satirical critique on capitalism and environmental justice needs more eyes on it.

I thought this would give me a reason to also rewatch "Rollerball", but their is a sense of that feature being grounded in a more relatable reality. Douglass Trumbull's directorial debut takes you to another world that you are glad to visit and hope will never become a reality. Who does not want to chase someone down in roller skates to knock them out with a studded glove? I can live with corporations ruling everything. I cannot live without trees.

 2. "The Hunt" (2020)

It is a pity that the current climate wants to avoid politics at nearly all costs. The Left wants to applaud being on the right side and just cover their ears when someone says they are not. The Right only wants to have their egos massaged, so they turn to Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax. If you cannot understand or dislike satire (which I think is 50% to 60% of the population), your appreciation of the film is unlikely. This is sad because it displays both sides very well while still leaning to the side that is right. "The Hunt" is one of the few times where having only unlikable characters works out.

As a straight satire, I had as much fun watching "The Hunt" as I did "Doctor Strangelove". If a director of Kubrick's skill had directed this, it would be a modern masterpiece. But we all like looking over Da Vinci's sketches, so give this a view.

1. Videodrome (1983)

"Videodrome" still makes viewers question the impact that visual content has on them and consider what the limits should or should not be. It is an expression of a dream that the audience has to be brave enough to indulge.

It is not David Cronenberg's best narrative, but it is his story and more importantly his visuals. This feature is still very relevant today as it explores the boundaries and questionable wants of members of society and how they expect someone or something to satisfy them. The expectation of that rewards is the basis of their insanity and the transformation that follows. Excellent body horror and a brilliant performance from James Woods (That is beyond appropriate since art has proven to imitate art.) makes this a must see. Long live the new flesh.

"Me and My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse" - A Mostly Positive "Oi, Oi, Oi"

A Call for Podcast Guests and Honorable Ninety-Minute (or 97 min) Film Discoveries of 2020

 *Blog post started on December 28, 2020.

With the pandemic, there is no excuse for anyone to not have watched more films than any other year. My output for NinetyForChill.com was nearly doubled. So my promise of a best and worst list from last year can be fulfilled. The only problem that I have discovered with this is, because so many of the reviews are from my 2009/2010 notebooks, I cannot do a ranked "worst of" list. Believe me, that list will/would comprise of some of the worst features I have EVER seen. That list will/would (The best of will just get out by the end of the year) suffer because the decade between writing the reviews and transcribing them to the blog, the visuals may have slipped my mind despite the pain being quite prevalent.

I guess that means I am just doing better when it comes to picking flicks that will take away from my video game time. On the flip side, since I am enjoying "Cyberpunk 2077" on the PlayStation 4, maybe my cerebral taste buds have just been worn down. There is a sense that "Dr. Chopper" was better than a few of the 10-year old reviews from the past like "Skeleton Crew", "Moscow Chill", and "9 Dead". Those films had some budget when compared to the Costas Mandylor shot on VHS product, so I might have just been to mean to them.

Turning 30 was tough. At least I turned 40 in 2020. Everybody is suffering, so it is not all about the world not giving a shit about me. Anyway, revisiting bad movies just to say how much more awful they are to other wretched films would not be a good way to end this year.

As for how the year has worn on me, I think the body is holding up pretty well. The worst thing about last week was my vessel needed to recover from going back to heavy meals and booze as a reaction to my physical being cancelled (I am going to OSF to work on my body, not my brain, so talk should be cheap especially with Zoom waiving the 40-minute video rule. A copay is not worth a video conference). Trying to avoid a 2 a.m. Christmas morning political argument with my mom was a challenge, but manageable.

My only challenge beyond that is trying to find a PS5 to charge to my folks as per their instructions before Christmas. Receiving a check from them to spend as I feel is sending miss messages. If it turns out that I am double-dipping (like I succeeded to do to the "Wrestling Compadres Slamcast"...have they gotten over being WWE apologists yet?), that check the government is sending is meant to stimulate the economy instead of rescueing the poor. I would be doing my patriotic duty to buy a PlayStation with it. Or do true Yanks buy Xbox?

When it comes to new challenges, there is no reason that I cannot follow through on the resolution of starting my own podcast, at this time for NinetyForChill.com. My primary idea is to have a guest per episode bring a sub-100-minute feature to talk about and I brink one as well. This is going to be a brief one, so I suppose they should be similarly themed feature to get it in at under 97 minutes. If you are looking to have your voice be heard, drop me a line at russthebus07@gmail.com and we will roll from there.

And now I can be like everyone else and have a reason to be on Zoom. It is good to feel like you belong. Sadly, the movie selection for the best under 100-minute flicks this year will force out a lot of the lower budget fair. These honorable mentions are fine pieces of art, but I hate to say it: You are going to overlook acrylic painting when you see the artist move on to oil.

 

Honorable Mentions (Too Cheap and Too Sweet):

The following features mean a lot to me, but unless you are an aspiring, low-budget filmmaker, you many not get the most out of them.

Golgo 13: The Professional (1983)

What makes this feature notable is its attempt to use computer generated images for its opening credits and finale. They are definitely out of place, but this classic feature is strong enough to warrant the experimentation. As for the film subject matter, it is a lighter take on organized crime drama when compared to Takashi Miike's work. An inspiration perhaps.

It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To (2007)

Speaking of films that do a lot with very little, catching this feature at a "Drunken Zombie Deadly Double Feature" may have been the final no-budget movie that I saw which inspired me to hang up my indie wrestling comeback movie to pen my wrestling zombie comedy, "Main Event of the Dead." (Feel free to suggest ways of advancing the project of receive a treatment of the script by emailing russthebus07@gmail.com). It is just B-Movie tricks, cliches, and nudity presented in the way I would that would inspire me to pick up the title from the rental shelve.

Bad Taste (1987)

This is the ultimate zero-budget feature because it is able to truly get the audience to respond after seeing this with, "What can Peter Jackson do if he had a budget? And will it be as gory?" Well, he lets just say he ended up trading the fake blood and brains for cool prosthetics and 32 frames per second. Google "Best Director Academy Award Winners" and I think you will give this feature a viewing.

 

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Honorable Mentions Because They Should be Mentioned.

The Damn United (2009)

I love learning about the legendary stories of English Football and you cannot go wrong with Michael Sheen and Timothy Spall. Too bad it was just one minute too long to fit the websites criteria.

StageFright o.k.a. Deliria (1987)

This year lead me to some classic cinema beyond horror. "StageFright" is a clever mix of giallo direction with a slasher plot resulting in some brilliant set pieces. It can drag a bit between acts, but otherwise it was definitely worth the time. The exclusion from the best of list is an indication that  cinema maybe catching on to the idea of if you do not have an established franchise, do not run overly long.

Honorable Mentions that Should Dictate This to be a 20 Best List: 

Ninja III: The Domination (1984)

My argument for not calling this post the "20 Best of 2020" is because I do not know if Cannon Group Films can be associated with the word "best". This movie about a telephone lineswoman/aerobics instructor being possessed by the vengeful soul an evil ninja is a fun ride, but cannot be said that it does a single thing right.

The Happytime Murders (2018)

I think any Jim Henson fan should appreciate this feature. With 20 years spent on allowing us to have jizzing MUPPETS, it should have delivered more, but this was to test the waters. A better story was needed, but the laughs are there.

 I did not expect to have so many honorable films, so not wanting to let this blog run overly long, I will put the best of list in its own entry. Here is hoping that I do not end up rushing it with the remaining 36 hours of 2020.

Religious and Technological Head Trips: "Angel Heart" and "eXistenZ"

*Blog post started on December 21, 2020.

Regarded as a horror classic by some, this is a mess of a picture, but to see how they sweep it up is worth a view. Brooklyn PI Harold Angel is hired by the aloof and religious Louis Cyphre to find a crooner who skipped out on his fame and fortune arrangement just before WWII. Every time Angel gets a clue, a brutal off camera murder follows. Why he would introduce a 17 year-old Voodoo priestess to it is barely comprehend-able, especially with “Fight Club” parallels.

From 13 days of work in a row to three days off this week (including Sunday), I am still trying to get my bearings. Eva The Queen Kitty is looking after me, which is the reason I give for why people say she has a resting bitch face, so that leads me to think I am an emotional wreck. If anything, I feel like I am on Zoloft. There are no worries, but no motivation. Perhaps a trip to my folks on Christmas Eve will get me excited. COVID had already ravaged the residence, so it should be safe.

I wish I could complain about stuff, aside from my PA wanting me to do a video conference for a physical exam (She could have responded to my cancellation reasoning with, I will not just give you your diabetes meds.). Anger would at least be an emotion. "Cyberpunk 2077" is fun enough, not too buggy on the PS4. If anything, I think the story is too tight. It is very difficult to freely break the law. Thus, the urge to go on a killing spree is hindered.

There is definitely an under lying aggression to me, it just is not anger. I think that is kind of zen when you think of all those kick ass Tibetan monks from Shaw Bros. films and Mr. Miyagi teaching LaRusso you learn how to fight so you do not need to fight. It definitely does not jive with nihilism.

I have just inspired myself to write a "Funny or Die" replacing Tyler Durden and the Narrator with the protagonists from "The Karate Kid". An improv team is what I need to sell my subtle art of talking too much.

I guess it is now obvious that I am just spending too much time in my head. This is the reason for revisiting "Angel Heart", a flick I watched during the best times of 2004. My brain was a wreck then, and it seemed to work out fine. The dilemma for Sunday became trying to find a Redbox movie that was not a cheap psychological drama or horror. Ironically, when I was going through my unwatched iTunes, David Cronenberg's "eXistenZ" was among them. It just means that I trust those ideas when it comes from Canada's Master of Horror.

 

eXistenZ (1999, 1:37)

Allegra Geller is considered by most to be the best video game designer since video games have become bio-technological. Her talent is so great, that competitors to her company think it would best serve them to have her eliminated. The first demonstration of her newest game, "eXistenZ" was infiltrated by an assassin who wounds Allegra and kills the host of the presentation just as people were being hooked up to the newest biopod. Only marketing representative in training, Ted Pikul, is quick to act and whisk Allegra from the chaos.

Paranoid, Allegra decides it is best to find friendly people of the grid to protect her and Pikul. With no means of contacting her, she will have the time to examine her game and see if the attack resulted in any damage to it. The difficulty in doing this is that she needs a friend to explore the game with. Pikul is the only person she can trust, but he is a bit paranoid of games that tap directly into the nervous systems of the players. He may also just be afraid of piercings since he does not have the input slot installed into his spine.

The conditions are less than ideal. Time is not on their side, and her newbie is obviously going to have difficulty determining what is real and only a game. But if the software is damaged, how will either of them truly understand their existence be it reality or existence spelled with a big X and Z.

Centered around video game consoles with the same texture and color of sex toys, "eXistenZ" must have been intended to be Cronenberg's spiritual successor to "Videodrome". Like the prior feature, it definitely feels like a product of its time, but when you consider what video games have become, it still resonates with today's audiences. This film is what every pre-Matrix internet film wanted to be, aside from also being PG-13.

This feature has some body horror elements, but not the make up effects that audiences had grown accustomed to with Cronenberg's works like "Videodrome", "Scanners", and "The Fly". There are plenty of revolting images like the mutant reptiles and amphibians that Jude Law has to eat in order to create a gun constructed of bone, but the true horror revolves around needing to connect umbilical chords from the console to the base of their spine. Can any video game be worth genuine trauma to play? I will say yes, but with 28 years of combat sport experience and clinical depression on top of that, I may be an exception.

The thing that would deter me from wanting to be essentially feeding my life force to a PlayStation is that the game "eXistenZ" leaves it users grounded to its rules. Pikul and Geller have to follow the dialogue trees to progress and the decisions are never as challenging as we hope. I would love to know how many hours of gaming the then 57 year-old director had to put in to know exactly how they work. It turns out as an anti-gaming theme because it shows some of us are so desperate to escape reality, that we will anchor ourselves to not needing to make tough decisions just to be somebody else.

The cast plays all there parts brilliantly, and with the exception of Jude Law's flat tone (at least he did not try to go full on American accent), every quirk is justified by the conclusion that is very reminiscent of the "Twilight Zone". It is almost a shame that Cronenberg has only written one other film since this feature.

If anything else is lacking, it might be action. This is a video game after all. I guess you can say that it emulates those from the horror genre before Capcom and Paul W.S. Anderson screwed up the "Resident Evil" franchise. You get to be disturbed, but the narrative lacks intensity for our characters. But, again, this is not really much of a stretch from where video games have ended up today, so you have to appreciate Cronenberg having his finger on the pulse.

With the lack of "Fangoria" worthy imagery, "eXistenZ" does not seem like your standard Cronenberg, but it still delivers a story that is right up his fans' alley. Add in a "Twilight Zone" vibe, it is surprisingly accessible. Society would probably benefit from a reissue of this feature just to stop and think about the technological escapism and where it may lead...limited dialogue selection.

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A Need for Chaos, How MMA Lead to...Dive, and Benoit Pro Wrestling.

*Blog post started on December 17, 2020.

I guess life is just boring. It could be doing my best to follow social distancing protocols. It could be me needing to lay off the booze to show my PA that I have been trying to be healthier. When I have been on my own for the past month, how else am I expected to create any excitement?

The lack of opportunities to socialize has been driving me mad. My latest tattoo ideas have been the cheery ode to Wax Trax Records's best German signee, KMFDM (Kittens Make For Deadly Minions) and one that will state "Fuck Serenity". It is not an anti-Whedon (I suppose that would be warrant the "FYR" idea idea I have been working on) just an expression of displeasure that my best friend's grave has the "Serenity Prayer" on a cross that was placed there.

This may stem from me not being religious anymore and the belief she was not faith dependent either. Perhaps she became that way after she tried to fight her demons, but she ended up succumbing to them anyhow. Where was the fucking power then you cloud-riding asshole?

What can be said is that I am longing for tangible chaos. My cats can only cause so much trouble. Some hairballs and a few spilled drinks is all I am getting. 409 makes those challenges too easy for me. The moment I became calm when I was trying to make sure my friend was safe was the moment when her illness took her. If there is nothing for me to fight for, what is the point of living? How long can one remain content?

I suppose that is not the perspective of a grown up. My only responsibilities are my cats and my bills. Grown ups have kids that they need to see to adulthood so that they may receive grandchildren to spoil. The point is, you are always working for something when you are a parent, so you shall not find many moments when there is not a fight. As someone focusing of creative and social goals, not being able to pursue any sucks.

Do I envy those who have surrendered their freedom to the young? I envy the tangible relationships with partners, but their path, no. Parenthood is something I think you must want. It is an easier path to immortality, but I know enough bastards who would like their kids to not know about their previous generation.

If we think about the memory element of existence, those without kids are trying to obtain memory on a grander scale. Or at least they better be. Then again, I suppose being the town drunk could make one known for a couple of generations beyond them. It might be why my family has never truly supported me in my wrestling exploits. That lacks something tangible for them as the most they got from it was me being mentioned in "Wrestle America" magazine.

Or they saw a few matches of mine in Peoria, and realized that I had not been trained by Norman "Apocolypse" Callaway to be memorable. I was his website designer, so he thought it was privilege for me to be allowed in the ring. He does not need to look cool and he is a mark for pursuing a career in the business anyhow. Learning anything memorable from him would be impossible and would also question why he was at the top of the card regardless if he had the pen. I could get personal with his life's decisions when I knew him, but I do not know the man now to see if it worked out.

Olivia Galindo @oliviagalindo·Pinterest

The top of the card is where the story is at, and that is why Next Generation Wrestling (and later Midwest Impact Pro) was not very memorable. Peoria could not come up with the original story lines to warrant long drawn out matches. If you came back, it was because of those on the undercard who questionably sold and relied on ...dive.

Why does the "Quit Diving!" argument come up in quadrennial cycles? Randy Orton seems to have mellowed out since 2016. Perhaps it was the MMA elbows from Brock Lesnar knocking the saltiness out of him. Lesnar seems to love to work with the flippy guys more than heavyweights. If Jon Moxley offered some more small guy offense, Brock may have gotten excited to work him at WrestleMania 32.

I did not want the Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling blog to become an AEW fan site (Unless the Impact and NWA involvement requires the DRCW sanctioning body to replace all these extra belts), but with AEW being the only indie style out there (Sorry Ring of Honor. You might want to start dropping ads during local news broadcasts on Sinclair.) that is always fresh (Crowd-free wrestling cannot be aired, look at the pre-Thunderdome ratings.). Because all the best indie talent is showing up there, you have to expect...dive and selling without embellishment. With that being established, can Jim Ross really be complaining about this style not being his kind of realistic?

See arguments that I think Tommy Dreamer concurs with at DRCWwrestling.blogspot.com.

"War, Inc." - Hitmen, Capitalism, and Comedy

*Movie review written in 2009.

 

 Aside from documentaries, Hollywood has never been in the mood to have capitalism bashed. Clive Owen's "The International" bombed. David Fincher's "Fight Club" was more about exploring anarchy with nihilism, narcissism and other psychosis of Chuck Palahniuk, so the concept of capitalism ruining everything outside of one self is abandoned.

One would think that comedy with a proven, cynical yet charming lead in John Cusack may lighten the mood when it comes to denouncing the foul nature of finance. Dumb the Iraqi invasion drama down a bit, and maybe you will come out with cinematic gold. The "War, Inc." $580,000 gross shows how Hollywood does not want to get that liberal.

The world keeps getting closer and closer to the future that is prophesied in "Rollerball (1975)".  Corporate greed has effectively paved over the Middle Eastern country of Taraquistan. Its fall was at the hands of the Tamerlane Corporation's private army who the U.S. government had no issues outsourcing their conflict to. Following this invasion is every conglomerate from the Western World who is out to promote their new flavor: Democracy.

There are obviously those who resist the formation of America East, and that is where Hauser comes in. He is a former CIA spook turn greatest, corporate-backed assassin. Lately, his morals have been getting the best of him. This may be why he is striving to gain the affection of the attractive reporter and confused Turaqi pop star who have been introduced in to his life. The cover of being this country's first Western trade show producer will likely not hold up, so dropping the ball of his latest assignment seems likely. The fate of the interests of the Free World is in his hands, but does he even care?

Is "War, Inc." the political equivalent to Cusack's sleeper hit about a hitman going to his high school reunion, "Grosse Point Blank"? Yes, but is that a bad thing?

Many considered this to be the unofficial sequel to the 1996 coming of age story, and Cusack's character in this film is what that film's protagonist, Martin Blank, would be if the past film's ending did not hold up. So if you liked GSP, I think you will love this film.

The only thing that may hold the film back is that there is no subtlety in its humor or message. Fortunately, director Joshua Seftel's homage to the Spaghetti Western keeps the audience invested in the story. Despite it not being subtle, the craziness and relationships work out resulting in it ending up being worthwhile. Unfortunately, that is buried in its message, and may make it difficult for the layman to want to pick up.

If you are open to satire, "War, Inc." is an easy to take dose of it. It does not display any genius, but it is fun like most of Cusack's filmography. There are a few political prerequisites to be open to this film, but common sense should get you through it regardless of one's initial political stance.

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A Very Merry James Woods Weekend: "Vampires" and "Videodrome"

 *Blog post started on December 14, 2020.

  

This is a fun vampire flick, but it shows the limitations of John Carpenter. His direction seems stretched by the quest elements of the tale and without one of his go to actors in the lead, it loses some of the feeling his classics have. He was best in the mid 80’s leaning in to his regulars. I wish he would be more insistent on doing that. Still, the FUN is there and James Wood is great. On to Bon Jovi taking over the franchise.

I suppose I am stretching out the weekend technically. This was probably watched on Wednesday, but I am in the midst of a 13-day stretch between both jobs, so time is kind of lost on me. "John Carpenter's Vampires" is almost an appropriate place to start as I am trying to use meal replacement shakes for 50% of my meals (I skip breakfast, unless I wake up before the alarm. Wendy's is killing it.). Sucking the blood out of someone felt like a reasonable means of recovering from the lack of sleep that "Cyberpunk 2077" led to.

It did not help when a coworker goes home because they were not feeling well. I work for a big box store, so you know they have COVID-19 protocols for their employees. If you passed the screening for the day, you got to work your shift. The argument can be made that it is flu season so not everything is corona virus. How you can suddenly change symptoms in two hours is my counter to that?

Fuck food poisoning. That is why I skip breakfast. I need to make the proletariat look good.

When my manager asked me to stay an extra hour (We could not get rid of the customers till a half hour after the Semisonic moment.), it seemed like the ill-feeling one was not a full-time employee. This means they did not have any time to use to make up the lost wages. If your lungs have not been overtaken by the pandemic, that really is the only reason to leave a job early. Use the sick time or lose the sick time. I can understand that proposition.

But on the flip side, at my bank job, we have one employee who uses the time that has been allocated to them while the coworker who should get more than six days of paternity leave cannot use his sick time to spend more time with his child and the kid's worn out mom. Should I rant about the corporate structure (Thank the gods that there is not really any right-leaning charities in Champaign. I would be judged for not participating in casual days for charity because of the not-for-profits that dominate the rest of Downstate Illinois [Christian pregnancy support groups, United Way, etc.].), or management at this location for not covering for the most senior banker here:?

If wanting to drain the employee who left with two opening to closing shifts is the only drama I have right now, things are pretty good. There was some hesitation about reviewing two James Woods movies because of the conservative moron he has become (I wanted to see the Democratic Party be destroyed after the Clinton impeachment trial, but I was an 18 year-old Mortonite. With experience, I learned who the bad guys truly are.), but everyone knows that the works of great directors should take precedence over the whom the producer believes will put butts in seats. Maybe this double-feature will let me get over my reservations and buy the Hades from "Hercules" Funko Pop. You cannot have Zeus without the douche.

And that reminds me, we need to bust our asses to get Tiny Lister into the WWE Hall of Fame this year. We must influence WWE programming some how. The WWE video arena must be conquered. Death to the McMahon family's Videodrome. Long with the new flesh.

Videodrome (1983)

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

 

Videodrome (1983) [900x1200] by New Flesh - Reddit

 

FMK: "The Velocipastor", "It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To", "Main Event of the Dead".

 *Blog post started on December 10, 2020. "It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To" review is from 2009.

 

 "The Velocipastor" is a film so set on being a B-movie, you admire its audacity to do so. It is a fun 70 minutes about a priest cursed by a Chinese dinosaur "tooth" who, a long with Carol the pre-med, pre-law hooker, takes on the challenge of Catholic drug-dealing ninjas.

 

"It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To": The Catalyst for "Main Event of the Dead".

I suppose some credit should go to Christopher R. Mihm's "It Came from Another World" and of course the Drunken Zombie Deadly Double Features where I saw these films. The point is, when you see a bunch of amusing pictures that were made by a bunch of friends gathering together to make a thing, regardless of how nonexistent a budget was, why would you not think that you could do the same. Thus, I went from writing an indie flick about blueprints for my in ring wrestling return to what I thought would be an ode to the fledgling Peoria's wrestling scene.

This idea was over at Richard's on Main St. (i.e. the middle aged). Too bad the Pekin kids and Southside stoners never went out to the bars. Social media was also something that was not a big draw for these types in the early 20-teens. The Facebook traffic picked up, but the people you wanted to immortalize would only respond to me if I was calling them out for being racist assholes or self absorbed and ignorant wrestlers (To be fair, you can accuse me of being self absorbed, but I have never gone out to ruin anyone's life or make them feel less for that.).

Needless to say, I do not think the word had ever gotten to them that there was a chance to be covered in pasty makeup and Karo Syrup. More importantly, their in ring skills were to be documented and viewed by lesser film festivals and top level indie wrestling promotions. How can you say no to promoting yourself?

That sums up the Peoria wrestling scene. It is all about friends doing favors for other friends. Who needs merit and effort when you just have to score some boys some weed, make the high ones chuckle, or just kiss ass to the biggest and most obnoxious marks? As long as you are not looking for a pay day or show ambition to make a name for yourself, you are in.

So where does my pro-wrestling zom-com stand. I am still offering treatments of the script and looking for suggestions on how to get "Main Event of the Dead" out of development hell. (email russthebus07@gmail.com). The pandemic is also hurting the project because I have no way of improving my skills or finding people who would want to get involved with this feature. Of course 2020 was the year I wanted to get away from the keyboard and find those like-minded people.

It is coming up on 10 years of trying to live and die by this script. If you want me to have a New Year's Resolution, I suppose I will get my pilot script out for an idea that has been rattling in my brain the past four years. Too bad I feel gratuitous nudity is needed. That idea prevents YouTube from allowing me those producer and director credits I have been craving.

If you do not have a budget, bare skin can make up for those shortcomings. Too bad I do not know how to add zombies into the pilot idea. It leaves me short of presenting a classic like:

"It's My Party and I'll If I Want To" (2007): The Review

 

Tom Savini's hard nipples, a comic book opening with an eight-bit motif, a budget that was seemingly solely spent on scary contact lenses, and an Elvira costume-sporting, ginger karate expert with stunt tits are what Scotchworthy Productions delivers with their Halloween-themed clusterfest, "It's My Party and I'll Die If I Want To."

Sarah, a switchblade-wielding over achiever is down because it seems that all of her friends have forgotten her birthday. This is not the case because they are planning a wicked party for her at the abandoned Burkitt Manor. The mansion is infamous for the 15 murders that occurred there over the past 70 years. Little do they know that after Uncle Tom (Savini) turned the power on to the joint, evil has awoken.

"It's My Party..." story eventually gets all jumbled and, aside from the survivalism element, makes no sense once the action kicks in. Fortunately, there is plenty of gore to make all of the violence worthwhile.

Everything that Tony Wash's film has is over the top which is essential for an awesome B-Movie. Character generalizations, gratuitous nudity, and attempts to be clever: This picture knows what is is and wants to excel at.

Having not seen "Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead", this maybe the best no budget flick to have played Peoria (At least until "The Drunken Zombie International Film Festival" brought us the Soska Sisters' debut feature "Dead Hooker in a Trunk"). As long as you can deal with the low body count, "It's My Party and I'll Die if I Want To" has something for every fan of B-Movie horror. Rarely, do all the bloody pieces fit so well.

 

19 Awful(ly Funny) Horror Movie Titles - Buzzfeed

 

FMK: COVID-19, "American Ninja" Sequels, "Star Wars" Prequels.

*Blog post started on December 8, 2020.

A Text from Mom:

Dan Gable just got the Medal of Freedom from Trump. Neat

My Desired Response:

Well, he (Gable) got all the cartilage removed from his knees before he was 30, so great post career decisions can be questioned. You can say, "That was what the doctors recommended at the time." I will retort that you are demonizing Anthony Fauci for contradicting Trump because he would change his recommendations with further scientific knowledge.

James Gunn's "Slither" - A Cronenbergian Successor to "Gremlins"

At least she has yet to go off about the experimental Trump miracle cure that Dad and her received. I do not think she will acknowledge that this treatment may have possibly been what caused her husband's recent pulmonary embolism. When I spoke with Mom the day it occurred and after he had settled in and the emergency had passed, she told me that he said the hospital food was good.

The food was good and he was sounding great a day later. Funny because my older sister was over COVID-19 in damn near the same time frame. Yes, it could just be coincidence that Dad's recovery fell in line with my big sis's. A pulmonary embolism could be a corona virus side effect as well. It is just that he may have gotten over it on his own, and unnecessary and panicky medicine used by an orange asshole may have a reason for being deemed experimental. He is a ginger. Color is not my dad's thing.

After that kind of emergency, it is good to just rant a little. When my dad had a heart attack about 20 years ago, I panicked when I was awoken to meet them at the hospital, but as I drove over, my mind was coming up with snide remarks to kid around with. Of course I arrived first (I still think hearing that I drove like I was in Chicago as a complement during my time as a hotel shuttle driver.), so when Dad was carted in, I told Mom I needed a Coke. Dad is pretty appreciative of my humor, so he gave me a labored chuckle about me saying "If (some politician we despised or famous athlete) could beat this, you'll be fine."

"Me and My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse" - A Mostly Positive "Oi, Oi, Oi"

My sense of humor did not sit too well with my younger siblings as we dealt with that scare. They said not being on edge made me seem uncaring or disconnected. So when I got the call from my little brother about his drive to the hospital, I played it seriously. Once he hung up the phone, I was trying to figure out something clever to say when I got a positive update. Something clever was what I wanted to offer, but I need to validate my concern, so "Be cool, I dealt with this 20 years ago. He's going to be fine," was held back. Dad did appreciate that when I told him that was how I was handling things.

He is out of the hospital, and he did not seem negatively affected by fraud warning in regards to the use of his credit card to buy Mom's Christmas gift. That bill could have floored many a folk.

Where do I stand right now after all of this excitement? I think I got myself back in order. When it was going down, there were selfish worries about how the worst case scenario would affect me, financially and familiarly. There was panic, but at the moment, I seem to be doing well at this adulting thing. These thoughts may have just crept on me to keep myself concerned instead of optimistic. It almost felt wrong to not think about the worst instead of just playing it be ear and be chill about it.

The only problem with the timing, aside from the worst case scenario leaving the bank high and dry with our senior banker starting paternity leave, was that I had to work at the bank and the retailer that day. This kind of miffed my little sister when I rebuffed her suggestion of calling in and coming up to Peoria. I suppose she just wanted a futile effort to be made to express my concern.

The 11-hour work day after a 40-hour week left me too tired to do anything when I got off the clock. I was in a haze which resulted in me watching one and a half "American Ninja" sequels on cable (ScreenPix). All I will say about those is that three may have been to convoluted. Four was the right amount of Cannon Group craziness to be a fun watch. When you are in that kind of state, you are too tired to poor the booze that seems so appropriate.

Thus, my Sunday was dedicated to New Japan Pro Wrestling, "Star Wars" prequels, and video game updates.  If that is your life, of course there is going to be eight hours of drinking at some point, 8 pm to 3:30 am in my case. It is a good thing this blog will never be a WWE devoted one. I was in bed by 9 pm on Monday. If that is the cost of drinking instead of hangover, I think I came out on top of that transaction.

 

SuperClash or the Invasion? Fear of Impact Wrestling. Fear of Becoming an AEW Blog.

*Blog post started on December 3, 2020.

I like to use the "Rule of Three" when it comes to titling blog posts. Perhaps that is just a need to feel clever. It is also a lifesaver when the posts are more observational instead of critical. Throw a "Fuck, Marry, Kill" implication about the topics, and it presents the illusion that everything will make sense.

I think having some really oddball to throw into a title as a means to spur interest. When the default is "Fear of Impact Wrestling and Becoming an AEW Blog", it is not going to encourage any of my non-wrestling-fan readers to check it out. What else do I fear right now? My parents' fate when it comes to COVID? That seems a little too soon to take a comedic spin on.

It sounds like they are doing fine. They are still driving my once infected sister to her job at the hospital. I feel like everything will work out for the best. But without any certainty of how things will turn out, making jokes is tough. The best effort came from my little brother's response to mom's recent positive test with how we will be avoiding "Rona House". My poetic brain replied to the message with the alliterative "Call it COVID Casa", but then the Patrick Swayze/"Family Guy" reference to the 1989 classic was apparent. Or at least I hope it was.

Humor is something that I must always have at my side. It is tough for me to be immediately humorous when coming off a significant day in pro-wrestling. Things were so much easier when it came to wit and grappling. My time as heel commentator in Peoria Wrestling when my wrist was broken or when I had to write articles for Next Generation Wrestling's website about their knock off WWE storylines. With the latter, wit was needed to make sure that we were not appearing to be a sample of WWE light. Thanks Paul Heyman and Joey Styles for showing me how to be hip.

All Elite is not my product, so unless there is crap wrestling, I cannot make jokes. That is a statement to the brilliance of the product. The only joke that has been made about the product is, "has anyone filled out a missing person's report for the AEW Women's Division". Is it really a valid comment when they have the top female performer in the Western Hemisphere and perhaps Japan?

 

The Current Undisputed Disgruntled Real Championship Wrestling Champions:

For those who claim "Championship Wrestling Champion" is redundant, remember that WCW and ECW would have to write it out the same way. Now I realize that Xtreme Professional Wrestling did one think wiser than Paul Heyman.

47th and Current DRCW Real Women's World Champion:

All Elite Wrestling Women's World Champion Hikaru Shida

(Reign began on October 25, 2020 from Smackdown Women's Champion Bayley)

 

I have a feeling the Sasha Banks will become the champion soon. With a character like Abadon as Shida's next challenger, a clean title defense would ruin her challenger. If Abadon fails to look strong, Banks is going to need a long reign to take the Real World Championship.

48th and Current DRCW Modern Poser Champion:

WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns (2)

(Reign began on August 30, 2020 from Bray "The Fiend" Wyatt)

Nick Aldis's 700+ day reign as NWA World Champion and Drew McIntyre's indie credentials keep the Universal Championship from becoming a possible title for the best male performer in wrestling. Good on WWE for trying by always having the WWE Champion lose to the Blueniverse in the annual Champion vs. Champion bout.

150th and Current DRCW OCHO Champion:

(IC/US/TV/N. American/National/TNT/X-DIV)

WWE Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn

(Reign began on November 9, 2020 from AEW TNT Champion Cody Rhodes)

He is currently the most interesting secondary champion to watch. With Darby Allin looking on to Sting or the FTW (older concepts), WWE has a chance to bring fresher and more legitimate match ups on Friday nights.

148th and Current DRCW Real World Tag Team Champions:

AEW World Tag Team Champions Nick and Matt Jackson, The Young Bucks (3)

(Reign began on November 9, 2020 from Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler, FTR)

 

90th and Current DRCW Real World World Champion:

All Elite Wrestling World Champion Kenny Omega (2)

(Reign began on  December 2, 2020 from John Moxley)

 

olivia pierce - pinterest

Return of the SuperClash or The Invasion???

The NWA is letting the United Wrestling Network feature their top prize, the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. Impact has been trying to maintain alliances through out its entire existence. These companies are just trying to stay relevant like World Class Championship Wrestling, the American Wrestling Association, and the Continental Wrestling Association were when the WWF was going national and the Jim Crockett Promotions was purchasing the failed territories that would make of Ted Turner's WCW base. This leads me to feel like AEW developing a working relationship with Impact Wrestling as a desperate move.

See arguments that I think Tommy Dreamer concurs with at DRCWwrestling.blogspot.com.

Inferno - Witches and the Sweet Vengeance for Drowned Cats

 

The film that is about to be reviewed is 1 hour and 46 minutes long. It is being featured because it is the first sequel to one of the greatest horror movies of all time, Dario Argento's "Suspiria" (Luca Guadagnino's 2018's re-imagining of this film is worthwhile as well). As I established in my blog, "Kickboxer: Retaliation" How to Warrant 110 Minutes and I, the Retarded Garland", a sequel can deserve more time than its predecessor because we want the previous world to be expanded. This is a far better example of the concept than the "Kickboxer" franchise. With that said, I am still shivering in anticipation for the conclusion to the latest Kurt Sloane trilogy.

European directors tend to want to capture everything on film. Many times, they shoot to the point of boredom. Francois Truffaut's "The 400 Blows" is beautiful, but it takes forever to get going. Nothing of notes happens in that film's first half. It is like watching a Monet dry. We appreciate it, but we want to load it on the truck now.

Italian horror and its godfather Dario Argento (perhaps the most subtle of the genre's directors) have similar tendencies. Argento is in love with his vision (He is never afraid to tell critics and actors that.), but the stories he offers to express it can be hit or miss. Fortunately, he would rather show a gimp being eaten by rats than a child on a carnival ride playing hooky. If only Truffaut would have had the child ground in the centrifuge's gears.

"Inferno" is the story of the youngest and cruelest of the three mothers, Mater Tenebrarum (Mother of Darkness). Rose is a poet that lives in an old building in New York whom, after reading the book "The Three Mothers", suspects she is living in that witch's home. She puts it upon herself to explore the building's basement where she finds an underwater ballroom with a corpse floating around in it. This leaves her desperate for her brother Mark to return from Rome to help unravel the mystery.

Unbeknownst to Rose, Mark is dealing the mystery that is Mater Lachrymarum (Mother of Tears) the most beautiful and powerful of the mothers. After receiving the letter from his sister, he seems to be stalked by that witch, and his friend are becoming her latest victims.

Can these modern siblings solve the mystery behind these grisly occurrences, or are they going to be additional casualties to the ancient sisters' evil ways?

"Inferno" does not offer much when it comes to story. The tale establishes that all the characters are seen as disposable, so we will wait around to see who makes it out alive. Any other narrative shortcomings are conquered by Argento's directorial style, and his efforts in creating beautiful and nightmarish visuals are remarkable.

The submerged ballroom (His homage to his once one of a kind classic "Suspiria's" use of bright and limited primary colors) and effects inspired by Mario Bava, justify filming the entire feature in Rome. This effort is as valid as Jeff Bridges's performance being the only reason to see "Crazy Heart". Talent can conquer almost any limitations.

If there is a genuine reason to be disappointed, it is that it may not be shocking enough when it is compared to other Italian horror legends like Lucio Fulci. There are no victims who fight back, and little worthwhile gore. It is artistic, but not disgusting.

This is an Italian film. We deserve at least an image that reminds us of "Zombi 2". It must be why "Mother of Tears" was so over the top. Argento was apologizing for the lack of nightmare future in that film's predecessors.

If you are a fan of sheer directorial talent, Dario Argento's "Inferno" is a prime example of what can be done with only a premise. Argento is a demanding auteur who may have been a generation too old to serve as an ideal music video director. If only he could have got into that realm of film making if only to bury Russell Mulcahy in the sands that his feature find so necessary to feature.

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