Oh for When HBO Warranted Popcorn

*Blog post started on April 27, 2020.

I think my sanity maybe finally be coming into question during this lock down. Trying to get back into the dating games has resulted in me downloading Snapchat. The filters are fun, but putting a run on sentence over a picture you want me to appreciate is pretty tricky. It may just be my critical eye needing more than 10 seconds.

On the dating front, I may just have to wait till someone finds me. Signing up for premium services seems too pricey in an age where no subscription service (with the exception of HBO, and you keep track of when that month is over) should cost more than $9.99. The ex-girlfriend said she was a premium subscriber on Plenty of Fish. Here is to hoping that she cancelled that after our relationship got started, but then again, with all the debit cards she has lost, it probably got cut off that way. I guess I better hope she gets back together with the ex-fiancé who she is moving back in with to avoid that scenario.

Living with my ex-girlfriend is wearing on me. She is making it feel like I am the only person who has ever taken responsibility for her well being. With her mental issues, I am hoping that is just her perception and not the reality. Since no one takes care of her, being inconsiderate must be something she is okay with. If she tries to be considerate because she knows I was just trying to withdraw from as situation, all she knows is to withdraw herself.

After sitting down to our must watch TV, she resumed the crafts she was making all day in the living room but moved it to her designated space. It feels like she only wanted the routine of watching Sunday night TV, to hell with my company. It makes me feel like a dick for not shouting at you to quit playing a YouTube video on your phone when I have made my lunch and want to settle down for some TV. We watched "Westworld" without any questions during it, I got comfortable. To walk out after the EMP went off seems a bit cold.

It is my fault for being empathetic. If I sense something is wrong, I want to deal with it. I want everyone to feel better. I guess that is my justification for telling conservative trolls that they are assholes in well thought out ways. I wonder how they would react if I told them they were straight up wrong.

I have been thinking about writing a blog showcasing one of the cocksuckers (I want to use cunt, but as long as Jeanine Pirro, Ann Coulter, Kelly Ann Conway, Tomi Lahren, etc. act the way they do, the "worst" cuss word in this country is feminine hence hateful to the gender.), but what good would that do besides create some content. Well if it gets Twitter in trying to eliminate a person who at the very least acts like a bot, I cannot knock it. If they turn it on me, I have two accounts so I could still have a voice. It would just be a shame to @russthebus or @maineventzombie.

The truth of the matter is, these blogs are primarily typed up during downtime at work, on a computer with social media firewalls. Transcribing the bullshit insults they spread from my phone to the computer is a lot of work. This is the first time I missed my last hospitality job. There, it would have all been cut and paste.

But the need for unnecessary content stems from a lack of routine. I guess I should not be too harsh on my ex's Sunday routine. The only problem is, an HBO series seem popcorn worthy. The problem is, when you have a bowl of Orville as Maeve's inability to move on results in a strong fight scene with Dolores, how are you going to watch an niche 90-minute movie afterwards? Pop Secret and cinema go hand-in-hand.

No, more snacks on hand is not the answer. Some of us have been diagnosed with diabetes over here. I say diagnosed instead of have because I personally think I am still a very sweet person despite the negativity being spouted. All of that sweetness just resides in my liver. Imagine the energy a organ recipient would have if they got that from me. Imagine the alcohol tolerance.

It is a new week, so at least I will have pro-wrestling to justify sharing space with someone who does not have anything in common with me. I say that because she also said she disliked "Boardwalk Empire" as I was going to watch that as I ate supper. This is after she decided to sit through three seasons of it with me. Where else am I going to go? Is she going to pay for another cable box?

It is all HBO's fault. If only they got HBO Max out the moment the quarantine occurred, I could probably be watching AEW Dynamite on Apple TV in any room that chose instead of Xfinity in the yarn-filled living room and an ex who will not let my better half, Eva the Cat, have the recliner to herself.

I guess the idea of "AT&T Time Warner +" suggests that I will eventually get through this lockdown's current surroundings. Patience is a virtue. And if I do not get AEW on HBO Max, I can always blame Tony Khan. As a wrestling fan, you cannot hate Tony Khan.

So at least I got a theme for this week of blogs. Hate is just a waste of time. Too bad my little brother had to wake me with text to rub in the Saudi purchase of NUFC. The lack of compassion makes me question his political affiliations. Of course, you got to question Liverpool fans about everything.

Reddit

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5bou1j/if_i_was_in_westworld/

90-min Family Video - "The Arena: or Timur Bekmambetov Presents 'Up All Night'"

Steven Spielberg got his start in TV with "Duel", and he is arguably the greatest director of his generation. Unlike the contenders for that title, he is concerned in releasing blockbusters more often than not.

This generation's (Those who came up during the resurgence of indie cinema.) blockbuster directors have a similar pedigree where they honed their skills, but with less prestige. Heroes of today cinema like James Cameron, Ron Howard, and Joe Dante came out of Roger Corman's "indie" cinema. Corman's latest protégé of note is Timur Bekmanbetov ("Night Watch", "Day Watch", "Wanted"). His B-movie was "The Arena". It is a film that shows glimpses of the director's talent, but those maybe blurred for late night cable due to all the excessive Roman decadence.

Timarchus (Viktor Verzhbitskiy from the "Watch" series) has been left to mind a Roman outpost in Western Europe's wasteland. Desperate to make this land his own little Rome, he has had a wooden coliseum built to host his bloodlust. When the locals prove to be wretched warriors and the gladiators who he brings in are subpar, he must come up with a new means to have the peasants love Roman culture. He decides to try and capture the intensity of the rebellious slave women by making gladiators out of them.

Can he make warriors of those he constantly victimized? Is it wise to do so? Can an empire fall by the hands of the women it scorned?

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

Pro-Wrestling and The Conservative Chicken Conspiracy

*Blog post started on April 21, 2020.

I have gotten to have fun with trolling conservative trolls on Twitter with the breakout of lockdown protests, but news just is not happening. Well, pro-wrestling wise is a different case, but to dive into that may expose some hypocrisies when it comes to my morals. I suppose that just makes me a middle-ground Democrat, but I dream of seeing a Chairman AOC.

All my sports fandom is screwed. WWE fired 40% of their workforce, a couple of dozen being on screen talent, after I suggested six onscreen performers (none of which were cut). The gut reaction would be to cut off my WWE Network subscription, but how can I resist the *"Dynamite Cop" ("Die Hard Arcade")* Money in the Bank matches?

Buzzfeed.com

*John McClane did not have to get to the roof to beat Hans Gruber, so "Die Hard" the movie comparisons are inaccurate. It would actually be better to compare these matches to "Critters 3".*

The only thing that hinders the next pay-per-view is that there are two of these corporate ladder matches. Making both matches unique will be hard to do. It probably would have been better to make one of them a traditional MITB instead. Of course, WWE and I are on totally different pages when it comes to wrestling-related decisions. As for ambivalence towards capital sources...

It seems that favorite football club, Newcastle United, is about to be sold to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Seeing owner Mike Ashley leave should be a glorious occasion, but taking the piss out of the fanbase is what he lives for. Can I truly be upset? The Chicago Cubs are owned by TD Ameritrade who has quite a bit of hateful values, if hating how they are destroying Wrigleyville was not enough.

I left Peoria after I realized that my only longtime friend that I spent time with was a racist, self-absorbed, borderline sociopath (Who has a kid since then if you needed further proof the world is only chaos. I suppose that just makes him a true Mortonite.). Deciding to head to a liberal hub without aspiration to further my hospitality education may have been decided on by that point, but wanting to get away from negative people may have been that guy's actions alone. And then Donald Trump was elected that fall, so you just cannot run away from the rhetoric.

And sometimes you do not want to run away. Growing up, Domino's was the easiest pizza to get delivered and my parents did not care about their politics. My grandfather, on the other hand, hated the Catholic-tude. If we ordered it while my parents took my dad's parents to a dinner with older relatives, we were to dispose of the evidence before they got home. It was a good thing I was a teenager because we were allowed no leftovers.

I wonder if I should have told a story about my grandfather's racism. It could have been easily framed as him being a Michigan State University graduate, so fuck anything that came out of Ann Arbor. Until I realized how important it was to support you local minor league teams, going to see the Peoria Chiefs as a St. Louis Cardinals affiliate was a no no.

It is not like I do not try to be woke with the rest of my life. I have only once paid for Chick-fil-a, which should serve as a great example of how much I loved my last girlfriend and fought for that relationship. If you want to hate me, let it be because I eat fried chicken-themed fast food period.

The Conservative Chicken Conspiracy:

Check out the rest of the blog at the "Rip 'Em System" tumblr along with the subtext of "No Holds Barred."

90-min. Redbox - "Bitten": Vampires and a Cute Side of the Mewes

"Bitten" is a flawed human/vampire sex romp that has been done better numerous times. (John Landis's "Innocent Blood" the Sean Patrick Flannery starring vehicle "Insatiable", etc.), but the nudity and a valiant effort from Jason "Jay" Mewes has to make this film better than "Twilight".

The infection that is "Twilight". I have heard good things about "The Runaways", but because of Stewart's involvement (before I saw her in Woody Allen's "Café Society" where she shined), I would rather see Mewes as Joan Jett, but I will digress.

Jack is a kind-spirited EMT (a stretch for Mewes) who has had no luck with women. His only friend is the veteran foul-mouth paramedic Roger. His outlook is a hopeless one, but then he finds the stunning Daneeka in a trash pile outside his apartment.

Being covered in blood, she appears to have been attacked. The only clue to what had happened are marks on her neck. Roger thinks she is an addict, but Jack is smitten with her and is determined to be with her no matter her flaws. At least that is how it starts off. Once he finds out what she is willing to go through to score, she maybe too much for him to handle.

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

"9 Dead"...We Wish

It is good to know that there are cerebral films being made that require nil in terms of special effects, gore, or action. That statement is more of a comment about the principle that we can film 90 minutes of people talking because if you do not have gore and actions, you have to present a brilliant story. Brilliance and Melissa Joan Hart are two terms that will never star in a film together. (Finding out how proud she was to be involved with "God's Not Dead 2" solidifies that as fact.)

Nine people have been kidnapped by a rogue, taser-toting Blue Man Group member. They all regain consciousness in a windowless room, each handcuffed to a pole. The pissed off Smurf introduces them to his game and provides the rules.

The nine victims have 10 minutes to determine the reason why they have been imprisoned together. If they figure it out, they will all go free and their captor will confess his crimes to the police. Failure to determine the reason will result in one of them being killed, but they will receive another 10 minutes to find out what they have in common. This process will continue until they solve the puzzle or there are no more players left.

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

90-Min Rutger Hauer: "Surviving the Game" Before Newline Tried

*Blog posted started on April 17, 2020.

Four hours and 10 minutes left in the shift and I foolishly thought writing a movie review would get me through the rest of the day. Stimulus fever seemingly lasted for 48 hours. If you got they got their check, they cashed it out before the government knew it was gone. That had been the only story in the news, so I am back to needing to blog on and on and on.

For a second there, I thought I was in trouble. Fortunately, my Domo-kun messenger bag did make the trip from the car to the breakroom. It would be really awkward to ask the manager if I could run out to the car for my comic books.

This might be my biggest complaint about the COVID-19 lockdown that I cannot go troll hunting to cope. For printed media, it is probably a plus for print and bookstores. Comixology has not been sending the bi-weekly worthwhile email about what graphic novels and comic book releases. No brick and mortar, no new releases. I definitely prefer the paper and the collectability despite my not owning sleeves and cardboard backs (What else do you expect me to use my Pro Wrestling Crate boxes for?). Still, with movies soon to be a digital only medium, I am willing for comics to be the same.

As long as there are Funko Pop! collectables when we get out, we can stay locked up till 2021. The strike-shortened NHL 2013 season was a lot of fun in my opinion.

With all that said, I do have to thank the heroes at Netflix DVD.com warehouses. It is great to have the assurance that I will not pay an extra $2 to see a Rutger Hauer movie that has yet to be converted to HD.

Of course, people are surprised when they find out that I still have a DVD-rental subscription service. I may have just overblown the noble nature of this essential job. Are they having any issues social distancing in those distribution centers if 1 in 22,500 (population of Champaign divided by two) are requesting discs via mail?

I should not mock them when there are plenty of assholes who troll people just to say "Fuck you! Your wrong!" on Twitter and Facebook. They are just trying to survive, like Ice T in Ernest Dickerson's follow up to "Juice" (Please pardon that tacky transition.).

Surviving the Game - Why Can't F. Murray Abraham be Properly Billed?

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

"The Escapist" (2008): Can We Now All Relate to the Prison Break Genre?

*Blog post is of a 2010 movie review. More original content started on April 14, 2020.

With Verdana as my default blog font (As I typed, I remember that I have not previewed the appearance yet. It seemed to work out okay.), maybe I can come up with a rant before we get into my movie review, the 2008 prison break movie "The Escapist". It a nice coincidence that I have two hours left on my shift and need something to keep me busy until I can leave the capitalist cage, despite all my rage.

Does anyone know who did the cover of "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" used in the "Final Fantasy VII: Remake"? Shazam could not help me out last night.

Absolutely nothing seems to be going on during the lockdown. Yesterday, it took me the better part of six hours to get my review for the third/fourth worst Rutger Hauer movie that I have seen "Split Second". Today, I was able to catch up with Wrestling Inc., ESPN, FiveThirtyEight, Huffington Post, CNN, NBC, and The Ringer in about four. The only jump I had was on Wrestling Inc.

That seems weird coming out of a holiday weekend, a religious holiday at that. COVID-19 is so dangerous that terrorists stay home instead of attacking a church or two. It makes me wonder if we should even open back up for business.

We are in prison. There are no outliers. Now is the time for Rehoboam. Apple, Google and Amazon have all of our information. Lets get to cracking on some algorithms to predict and direct. I am a nihilist. I am ready for my fate.

That observation might mean that I am basing too many of my Pokémon names around Dolores or Evan Rachael Wood. I used her last name a lot, but just now realized the gender neutrality of her first name. Why have I not used that for any of my Eevees?

Do I continue ranting about my current situation for the next hour or do I get on eBay and amuse myself looking for the right purple football kit or irresistible championship belt deal? In other words, do I buy into the prison system further or whine about it more?

At least I have stretched this blog entry out long enough that I know longer believe that I am cheating my readers. And at least I can scrap the idea of taking a critical run at "Alien 3." It is a flawed film that needs some love, but too give you a prison movie double-feature review seemed daunting.

The Escapist

Every British film not from Edgar Wright (Paul WS Anderson does not count) must be visualized as a play first. This explains the rich dialogue and the lack of any immediate character definition. They do not want to present the audience with caricatures, but it would be nice if we had some clue behind the depressing tale of redemption that is "The Escapist".

Frank Perry has spent 14 years in a London prison with little contact from the outside world. The first contact seems to be from his wife who writes him with bad news. It is news so bad that he can no longer wait for his parole hearing to get out.

He cannot do this on his own, so he has to gather the assistance of those with nothing to lose and the permission of the Irish cons who run the joint. If they can survive the three days prior to the break, they may stand a chance of obtaining freedom.

Wattpad - The world's most-loved social storytelling platform

"The Escapist" is a clever spin on how to edit a prison break film. The story telling method of jumping back and forth from the jail break and the build up results in a powerful ending, but does test the patience of the viewer. Each jailbird's motive is not made immediately clear, and aside from a rape and Joseph Fiennes picking a fight with future four-time WWE World Champion Sheamus, there is very little action.

It is a long, depressing story which furthers your hopes that they get out of prison, but it has difficulty keeping the viewers attention. If you cannot keep the audience's attention, why would they care about the escape.

If you can make it to the end, "The Escapist" pays off. Fortunately, the filmmakers and actors deliver on their end. Despite the tedious story, your are encouraged to tough it out. With a few tweaks, "The Escapist" would be the standard for the prison break subgenre. The film's method works, but you have to have a strong constitution to be rewarded.

90-min. Prime Video - "Split Second": Plot Decisions, Action, and Kim Cattral's Boobs

*Blog post started on April 13, 2020.

It turns out my supposed wealth of rediscovered content may be for not. The memo pad I am transcribing right now has many movie reviews, and they all seem prepared for publication in the ICC Harbinger. When I look at how long it can take to get through an article from The Ringer (granted they use a much larger font), these are not nerdy website ready. They work great for 2002, the year of my web designer certification, but I cannot stay so far behind the times.

Here's to Verdana as maineventofthedead.com's official font. I imagine that could add another 15 pages to my pro-wrestling zom-com "Main Event of the Dead". If you have any suggestions on getting the production out of development hell, or if you want a treatment of this no-to-low budget film, feel free to email russthebus07@gmail.com.

The first review I transcribed was for the Brian Cox prison break movie "The Escapist", so I feel that I cannot really release it until I come up with another jail movie or a very British flick. Unfortunately, since Rutger Hauer cannot deliver a British accent, "Split Second" does not qualify.

I would like to get my review for "The Damn United" out this week, so I suppose I could tack "The Escapist" on to that and still not seem overly long. It just sucks that the blog was titled ""The Damn United" - A Real Life Jay & Silent Bob on the Pitch". "The Escapist" blog was typed up Friday which means that I may have wasted a Saturday with Pokémon, naps and "Tiger King". That could have made for a good Sunday due to the conclusion of Joe Exotic's story, but compare the Netflix series to a "Tron" marathon, "Thor Ragnarok" and "Westworld", we can all agree on what sounds better.

Split Second - 1992

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

90-min. Prime Video: "Forbidden World" Away from the Bernie Bros

*Blog started on April 11, 2020.

News is still centered around the pandemic, so despite my shortened work days, it has not been overly difficult to catch up on the news websites. Last night, I tried to distract myself from going after the #NeverTrumpNeverBiden movement to attack the first three conservative Twitter users who went after Reprentative Ilhan Omar for trying to catch the nation up with the rest of the Western World. The social media platform maybe too diluted now because it use to be when I would attack hashtags (not users) like #PatriotsUnited, #Trump, #Jesus, I received a lot of hate for it. Now, these cunts are just ignoring it. It must be all about your follower count I suppose.

Too bad this blog is going to conclude with a movie review. It seemed fitting to find a place to start listing the names and profile information of the deplorables I found in every blog post. Then again, that might just encourage people to continue being the worst the United States has to offer who are not an offspring of Donald Trump whos life revolves around kissing Daddy's ass. I am calling you out Baron.

Maybe I have lost some of my passion for politics. Acquaintances from Morton are sharing and reacting positively to my Facebook posts. What does it take to get unfollowed? I guess my tolerance for bullshit is gone. This week has led me to unfollow anyone implying that they are not going to vote for Joe Biden.

It all ends up being a conspiracy by the baby boomers. Millennials were given everything growing up, so they feel entitled. Thus, they need to get their way or no one gets their way. Their parents were playing the long game. Be pushed around and underappreciated by your crotch fruit so that these twats feel like the world owes them just as much as you. Hillary Clinton fairly beat Bernie Sanders, so they voted against all of their interests instead of protecting some of them via Jill Stein or Donald Trump.

Sadly, they seem to be idiots who Sanders' free education would be wasted on. These kids are acting like they have not learned and will burn this current world down by letting Trump win again. The tactic this time is probably skipping the polls which would be worse than voting for a third party. If we can at least win the Senate, Trump would be effectively powerless and Ruth Baders Ginsburg could finally relax.

The rode to hell is paved with good intentions. How else did you expect me to transition this rant to a Roger Corman movie? He knew that we needed "Alien" and "Star Wars" to feature over-the-top gore and female nudity, but what we got was a cinematic purgatory in "Forbidden World.

Forbidden World (1982)

Being awoken to battle some space pirates, Troubleshooter Mike Colby's robot custodian SAM-104 advises him that he has received a new assignment. The two are to head to planet Xarbia to contain a research experiment that may have gone wrong or horrendously right. Dr. Hauser and his team have been trying to develop a new food source to solve all galactic hunger concerns by creating organisms with Proto-B DNA. It seems a noble cause, but because it is playing God, they are isolated on this deep space planet.

This new DNA's metamorphic nature puts into question who is actually playing the all mighty on high. The latest mutation decided to kill all of other test subjects before cocooning itself in the lab. Its violent nature leaves Colby believing that it needs to be terminated, but Hauser and his primary assistants want to see how this plays out...even after it attacks the janitor and escapes the lab. 

Technically, the cleaning guy is still alive, just dissolving into protein with a pulse. That sounds like a fate worse than death, so the majority of the crew is ready to side with Colby's intentions. The minority seems a little to eager to further study the events, so everyone will eventually be on the same page, but will they have enough numbers to battle the large-toothed, intelligent insectoid that it has become?

IMDb.com - Forbidden Planet

Roger Corman's importance to cinema should make his last name an entry in the Oxford Dictionary. Aside that word should be the primary poster for "Forbidden World". It tells you the film knows what you want, but this is still a deal with the devil.

A few months ago, I had watched the Corman-produced "Galaxy of Terror". It was entertaining enough despite a haphazard story, so I expected this feature to be the same. Aside from the reuse of James Cameron designed sets and overall tackiness, this film lacks the originality of its predecessor, and once we witness the space dog fight (from Corman-produced "Battle Beyond the Starts") and concept of hypersleep, you know you are just settling into a cheap knock off of the biggest sci-fi of the time.

The acting is hindered by everyone trying to be either hip or sexy, with our male cast focusing on being David Carradine hot, so it feels like 2000's indie wrestling. Its special effects are all around laughable with an Ed Wood equivalent monster as the villain and a robot that just misses the mark. There are some good gore effects too start, but it all just becomes a mess of red and transparent gelatin by the end of the flick.

Despite all of its flaws, it does show the beauty of a good Corman production. In trying to differentiate itself from what it is ripping off, possible inspiration for classic films are present. The monster's development is very much like 1995's metamorphic alien film "Species", and the demise of the beast is very similar to the end of "Species 2". It attempts to improve on some of the sequences from "Alien", which you have to applaud the effort, and in turn offers up devices that may have been used in that film's sequels.

If anything beyond the production values can be said to have aged poorly, it is all the female nudity, but I can defend that. "Game of Thrones" first season is classic television and it shows us that sexposition is still a valid storytelling device.

With some Clark & Sheffield Vodka, Kahlua and Meijer's brand Italian Sweet Crème Coffee Creamer, "Forbidden World" was a fun experience. If you can talk some friends into watching it with you, there are few better celebrations of mediocrity. This is not art, but you will not feel dirty seeing classic films being subverted and perverted. You can accept that is just part of the deal if a flick has been labeled a Roger Corman Cult Classic.

IMDb.com - Forbidden Planet