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Friday, August 13, 2021

How to Smark - AAW "Savages and Kings" and the Unified Gnarly Men's Doubles World Championship

 

 *Blog post was started on August 10, 2021.

How to Smark - AAW "Savages and Kings"

It was an eventful weekend for me. I got to my first indie show in over two years with AAW "Savages and Kings". The show impressed the date who claims the knowledge I have of the business and that I did not seem to be a stranger to the boys was admirable (She stopped returning my texts three days later.).

There could have been a few more masks for my taste, but Chicagoland is a better place in terms of vaccinations. If there was anything for me to complain about, it was the lonely mark who took up a third of the row we sat in. He must have been known. This makes me think about the need to adopt a mark program or charity. Or, we may just need to educate on how to be a smark instead of a goit that Eddie Kingston wishes a car crash upon when he is sending the audience home happy.

If you are just going to trash Colt Cabana, the most versatile wrestler in the world, for not being the sociopath who owes him legal fees, you do not do it by saying, "You're nothing without Punk." Do you even listen to podcasts man? If so, give NinetyForChill - The Podcast a try. I am presuming since the Bullet Club shirt he was wearing seems to be the only shirt that he has worn on the weekends since 2013, the inability to pick up on how Cabana was relevant on his own would not surprise me.

Anyhow, shouting mean shit just to draw attention to yourself is how one obtains X-Pac heat. Sean Waltman has educated feet, so attepting to deck him would not be wise. A skinny punk who looks to be in his late thirties, but more likely mid twenties, not so much. We know what you are trying to do? You want everyone to recognize your perceived cleverness.

I guess that is alright, but I do appreciate wearing a mask since it discourages the spewing of bullshit. To this kid's credit, he was constantly at the concession stand, so he did not come off as a total twat for having a chin diaper. The odds are, he does not take the time to cook at home so nachos and hot dogs are a luxury to him. This may justify the lack of mass on him. We would feel just awful to destroy this little punk to teach him a lesson. Perhaps he has some degree of awareness. Maybe he is just shouting too much to realize he is but a pimple on the ass of the crowd.

It is not like I am innocent of being a lousy mark. Everyone was giving Mike Rotundo "Irwin" chants to get under his skin when he was part of Money, Inc. I thought I would be clever by trying to start Theodore and Teddy chants. Thankfully, I took note of my dad rolling his eyes at me and I concluded my attempts at being a trendsetter. This was an important victory for dad that night. He needed one since the car ride home would be him trying to explain why the disqualification of a banned briefcase did not reward the Steiner Brothers with the World Tag Team Championship (Mike McGuirk declared the referee would recognize a title change in the event of this occurrence.).

Please pardon that long-winded tale when all that needed to be stated as an explanation for being obnoxious is, "I was 12." When I got to 17, I figured that shit out. That was when Bret Hart reformed the Hart Foundation at the Peoria Civic Center. There is obviously no way I was going to boo the Hitman. So I applauded and gave responses like "thank you" and "he is doing this for you." The fans behind me seemed to enjoy shouting at me to sit down. At least they were smiling when I responded.

Cheer the other guy on and praise them. That is the start to being a smark. Just hold off on insulting them. I for one know to try and avoid anything that could be considered a backhanded compliment (Does anyone know what a compliment sandwich is? Grow up a little Internet.). So calling Larry D "Fat Axel Rose" as you beg for him to batter Cabana, just shows you are more about popping yourself than the action.

There were only two matches left. The concessions were closing up. I think the mask should have been on by that point. How I am appreciating Japanese wrestling crowds more and more. Scream in your heart. With that said, what happened to the, "You Fucked Up" chants. Those are easy enough to roll with. Woke softies. Are we not doing "phrasing"?

Thankfully, Eddie Kingston closed out the card, so you best ear muff that little bastard in the front row. There was an old school feeling to that, so let me transition us back to the mid-90's and determine whether the Gnarly or the Too Legit Men's Doubles Champions will reign supreme.

The Gnarly Men's Doubles World and Most Legit Men's Doubles World Championship Unification

Where we left off last week, the Gnarly Men's Doubles World Championship lineage had ran uninterrupted from Starrcade 83 to the 1994 New Japan January 4th Show ("Battlefield" which would eventually become Wrestle Kingdom). Since this was a course correction, my goal was to unify it with the Most Legit Men's Doubles World Championship. Unfortunately, NJPW's Road Warriors knock off held the championship until November of that year and my attempt to start up the Most Legit championship was May with Cactus Jack and Kevin Sullivan. Unlike the Legit and Two Legit Doubles reboots, I could no longer connect the dots. Here is to hoping I can do that by renaming the Most Legit Men's Doubles World Championship to the Gnarly Interim Men's Double's World Championship.

1st Gnarly Interim Men's Doubles World Champions: 
WCW World Tag Team Champions
Cactus Jack (Mick Foley) and Kevin Sullivan (May 22, 1994 to July 17, 1994)

2nd Gnarly Interim Men's Double's World Champions:
WCW World Tag Team Champions
Paul Orndorff and Paul Roma (7/17/94 to 9/25/94)

3rd Gnarly Interim Men's Doubles World Champions:
WWF World Tag Team Champions
Shawn Michaels and Diesel (Kevin Nash) (9/25/94 to 11/23/94)

So I guess this makes the Most Legit Men's Doubles World Championship its own entity. The Dudes with Attitudes pretty much made the WWF tag team championship a prop, so they are not going to be the Disgruntled's Real World Tag Team Champions. By making this decision, I may be suggesting that Buff Bagwell should not be a title holder as well. My primary motivation for this change is that Orndorff and Roma and Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck are the reasons why I called this the Most Legit title. I could not avoid having two duel champs in a row. This corrects that.
 
 
The 1st Unified Gnarly Men's Double's World Champions:
WCW World Tag Team Champions
(11/23/94 to 12/8/94)
 
As it turns out, Roma and Orndorff's second WCW reign was not long enough to stomp out Buff. Now to unify this championship with the Too Legit Men's Doubles World Championship.
 
The 2nd Unified Gnarly Men's Double's World Champions:
IWGP Tag Team Champions
(December 8, 1994 to May 6, 1995)

And we are back to shutting out the first few Too Legit Champions from this lineage. That title started with 1-2-3 Kid and Bob "Hardcore" Holly. It also featured USWA's Tommy Rich and Doug Gilbert and the ECW pairing of Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko. After that...

The 3rd Unified Gnarly Men's Double's World Champions:
WWF World Tag Team Champions
Owen Hart, Yokozuna, and Davey Boy Smith
(6/8/95 to 9/25/95)
 
So we now have a title lineage that should at least make it to 2006. With access to the two biggest Japanese championships, perhaps this title lineage can make it to 2021. Here is to hoping that Pro-Wrestling Noah can offer up similar tandems. 

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