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Thursday, February 4, 2021

CM Is Now for Cool Movie Reviews - CMDarth's Offerings from Letterboxd (and Perchance Youtube)

 

It is a constant theme of "NinetyForChill.com - The Podcast" for me to call out the wrestler CM Punk for being a sociopath. That is because he was one of my favorite wrestlers as the Internet became more prevalent. I just presumed RussTheBus was already taken in most cases when I was asked for a new username. By 2007, the Internet was something I had been using for at least 10 years. Why would I expect to be the only Bus?

The point is, if I am going to mention my Letterboxd account, CMDarth, I feel I need to explain that I am a mark, but I do not approve of his inability to take responsibility for his actions. This guy has felt no need to apologize for nearly destroying Colt Cabana's life and then has the gall (ironic MMA career) to feel attacked when people call him out for it.

Sociopath seems like the right word, and I think he may even sell merchandise suggesting as much. I just verified that. And I always thought it was the Drug-Free portion of the shirt that prevented me from purchasing it.

I know the guy has done some good things, but I think his motivation is because he knows people will further admire him for that. The story about paying off Joey Mercury's house before it could get foreclosed upon was wonderful, but it showed no personal responsibility. He saved the life of a recovering addict, but it was the drugs that lead Mercury there, not Punk's guilt. Fixing his mistakes like his Cabana affair would acknowledge that he did something wrong to begin with.

Did he do anything wrong? He put his best friend in a risky position and promised that nothing was at stake. This was a bed he made, but he refused to lie in it. To do so was to acknowledge that he screwed up. If you expect him to pay anything for him expressing himself, you might as well accept that you are a fascist.

All that can be said, is thank the gods he is on our side. Perhaps politics is a career path he can pursue, but he has been making what I find to be excellent decisions in term of feature films to star him. He is still so cool, so it can be difficult to hit the publish button to call him out on his bullshit, but I gotta take those initials away for my own promotion.

If he is up for it, I am happy to drive up to Milwaukee to trade holds and strikes for the moniker. Otherwise, Cool Movies Darth's work will have to speak for itself.


Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

This might be the "Shazam" of the MCU. It is good, but by this point in a franchise, I was in the mood for a continuation of the darker elements. This film was released in the same year as the "Endgame". You cannot put the darkness away.

It feels like another restart for Peter Parker, making him seem like he is in the sitcom franchise of this universe. The character is not evolving in the same sense that Thor, Cap, and Tony Stark had this many appearances in. At least Ant-Man second mission was dependent on the first feature. This was just put "Homecoming" in Europe.

The feature also shows that Sony and Marvel are playing it safe until it does not work. There is nothing exceptional about the direction except in the case of the illusions that Spider-Man faces. I would almost suggest Ruben Fleischer could have put more into this film.

As for the narrative, Mysterio seems to have a lot of wasted potential and the final revelation in the credits makes me think that the conclusion to a suspected trilogy might be rushed. I am not enough of a comic book reader to suggest who should lead The Avenger going forward, but counting on an adolescent seems like they are taking the edge off of the larger narrative.

"Spider-Man: Far From Home" may have just been released to late in the MCU to feel like it is on the level of the other features in it. The soft tone is great for new audiences, but after 22 films, who is new?

 

Hellboy (2019)

Conceptually, this incarnation of “Hellboy” is fine. It justifies featuring a delightfully cranky Ian McShane. There are great set pieces that give it a crazy comic book vibe. It features the over-the-top violence that Neil Marshall thrives on. Any movie with a scene set to a Muse song and/or Motley Crue’s “Kickstart My Heart” cannot be bad.

But this is very, very flawed. Too much CGI for a Marshall...perhaps even a George Lucas flick. The biggest thing missing is the charm that we were provided from Guillermo Del Toro’s franchise. That series featured fully developed characters, not just bad asses. You can have a movie of just tough guys. The 80’s thrived on that. But when you recall the emotional grounding Ron Perlman gave Big Red, this fun feature is just a shell of its predecessor.

 

Castle Freak (1995)

It is a pity that “Castle Freak” was a straight to VHS release. The DVD transfer appears to be straight from VHS. Stewart Gordon presents a great narrative and that allows for Jeffrey Combs most dynamic performance. I do not appreciate the cat murder, but the brutality of all the mutilation is spectacular and the antagonist intelligence and compassion shines through. Brisk and brutal with a style paying tribute to goalposts, I cannot ask for more.

 

The New Mutants (2020)

“New Mutants” would be gold if only released earlier in the franchise. Nothing spectacular, but not all mutations are grand. It actually warrants benefiting from a plus 95-minute runtime. This is what happens if you are not a spoiled Charles Xavier brat. It ties itself to the rest of the “X-Men” franchise well which is what is most important. This is how you make “Nightmare on Elm St accessible.


Used Cars (1980)

Robert Zemeckis’s under appreciated debut and effort to shake the House of Mouse image from Kurt Russell. What happened to simple yet epic R-Rated comedy? “The Goods” was good, but did not have the nerve to be excellent.

 

GeoStorm (2017)

Did Dean Devlin fail to sell a “GI Joe 3” script. No use of good actors, no humor, and not enough dialogue. It screams an hour ten minute script with lots of descriptions of disasters that are slow to take hold.


The Gentlemen (2019)

"The Gentlemen" is the best Guy Ritchie film since "Snatch". Aside from "Swept Away", he doesn't miss. "Revolver" help me become an atheist. Great dialogue through out, but no home run lines like his first two flicks.


Fatman (2020)

Mel Gibson stars as a worn Chris Cringle who is fed up with children needing to receive coal more often than not. But having to accept a military contract to make up for the lack of toys being delivered has put things in perspective for him and he will be back to being the jolly old fat man in no time. Too bad fourth grader Billy does not take lessons and hires the Skinny Man to take St. Nick out. Too much exposition in the first act. 2nd act is a solid narrative. The showdown is great. It is just funny collateral damage away from being a classic.

 

Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)

A Disney movie that I would have like to have been high for. Overly long, a derivative plot, and a possible reason for that Gal Gadot “Imagine” sing-a-long. Still, there are plenty of fun moments, so it is the perfect encapsulation on the Internet. It is not all wrong, but still far from the mark.

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