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Saturday, August 8, 2020

Kamala the Chonk and The Disgruntled's Real Secondary Champion: Part 5

*List comprised on 7/29/20. Introduction started on August 6, 2020.

There is not much going on in my life. There is not much going on outside my life to get me overly angry either. I suppose that should piss me off. If nothing is going on, how the fuck is COVID-19 still a thing?

I guess to complain about maskholes just seems like beating a dead nursing home resident. Please do not get upset at that simile. Some of my best relatives died in assisted living facilities.

That was an awkward paragraph. Was it wise to play a distasteful joke followed by a parallel to I am not racist? As I said before my last list that will end up on The Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling blog, I need to find a writing partner.


But going back to sweet old people, I have a coworker who was talking about the ones they would like to adopt as a grandparent. This makes me think I am not that sentimental when it comes to being a grand-orphan. Because this coworker is also a feline fanatic, I had to ask:

 Can grandma be a chonk?

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/81/5a/49/815a49f844052ec8347d88758a72faba.jpg
Kamala - robschamberger.com
I suppose they should have the right to be. If you were truly morbidly obese, you would not make it to senior status. Your legs are going to shit anyhow, so why worry about the diabetes? Amputation is probably cheaper than knee replacement. It would sure be simpler.

This is a wrestling blog, so some might say I am being overly insensitive. Kamala is a double amputee and it could because of his dedication to his monster gimmick. To that I say, would he rather have been Giant Haystacks or Haystacks Calhoun? In my experience, about any physical pain can be lived with. As long as you are enjoying life, waking up the next day is not that bad.

As for me, the idea of having a prosthetic below my left thigh sounds good. I live in America of course, so getting my PCL or LCL in my knee repaired does not sound affordable (2011 wrestling injury). My left ankle was either broken or has a destroyed Achilles (2002 wrestling injury). If it was not for the phantom limb syndrome, bring on the titanium.

If both calves were worn out, you could just take the Cotton Hill resolution. When you have made it to middle age as a short man, who cares about another foot?

Blog Update, August 10, 2020:

Sadly, I did not account for COVID-19 and pre-existing conditions leading to a greater mortality rate. Being a diabetic, worry is something that I should have until we get a vaccine. If anything, this proves that the big man is not a chonk because cats can only carry the disease.

Humor is my defense mechanism, and I do not mean to offend the family of James "Sugar Bear" Harris. He is a legend and this blog was a an attempt at a humorous way of saying that I am glad he was still with us, provided he was still enjoying being alive. The point was, as long as we keep rolling with the punches, what is there to worry about. When you cannot, then you are in trouble. At least it was fate that stopped Kamala, not himself.

Discussing fat wrestlers ends up being ironic when it comes to the main purpose of this blog. After reviewing it, we ended up having six years of no super heavyweights. Well, there is Sheamus who is two pounds over the MMA heavyweight limit, but the man is a specimen not an immovable object. Between 2013 and 2020, the only thick secondary champions who come to immediate mind are Rusev, Samoa Joe, and Braun Strowman. None of them are the shape of a Big Van Vader or King Kong Bundy.

The lack of fat champs might indicate that pro-wrestling may have become the sole realm of the fit. AEW does not have any threats from a physics standpoint (Force=mass time momentum, right?). Impact has a few, but the promotion is also forever behind the times. If Bullet Club was not originally about the gaijins, would there be a place for Bad Luck Fale? He does not move like Keith Lee.

Now I am kind of depressed that the sport has grown up and away from the likes of the One Man Gang and Rikishi. The sport needs a WIDE variety of gimmicks, and this list seems to disagree.

Check out the rest of this blog and the indie/correct view on wrestling at The "Disgruntled's Real Championship Wrestling"

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