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Saturday, August 10, 2019

Rearchiving Blogs: 9/15/08 - Don Rickles’s Wet Dream

Rain destroyed Dunlap Days, but the temptation of Pumpkin Ale and Blizzards may have been enough to draw people to Morton's Pumkin Festival instead of Peoria's 4th Annual Worldfest.

Finally, this Mortonite had found something to do with the second weekend of September.

Up yours Pumpkin Fest.

Damn your celebration of 20,000 McCain voting Mother...and fathers. They should have been celebrating the cultures...well, of at least half of the countries of the world.

They missed the chance to watch awkward Filipino Americans try their native culture's coconut dances.

There was the opportunity to see Chinese children exploited without the glory of sweatshop wages.

How could one pass up the chance to sit and pray for Michelle Yeoh-like choreography to be integrated into the Chinese long sleeve dance?

It was a chance to see elderly Americans pay homage to their German roots sans the Hitler, and a chance to wonder why the 15/16 white Native Americans were wearing glitter.

More Anglophiles were needed since there was no Union Jack present among the flags. Hell, I thought about cutting away at Australia's flag to represent my Motherland.

So many people missed the challenge of experiencing the awkwardness of just passing the Black Expo with apparent ignorance.

Who would pass up the chance to see 10 year-old "black belts."

Most importantly, they gave up the chance to remain dry.

Take that you giant slide and the beer tent where all of whom I had tried to avoid at MHS would be demanding to reacquaint.

And where's the Pumpkin Rumchata?

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