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Saturday, July 13, 2019

90 min. of Prime: "Death Warrant" Coincidentally the Dog in the Flaming Room Meme

It definitely felt like a busier week for me. Going out to see fireworks, that is definitely busy work.

Please pardon my lack of patriotism. Forgive me for watching fireworks with my English Football tattoos exposed due to my Marty Scurll and Zack Zabre Jr. tank top. But listen to me about how The American Revolution was nothing more than a ploy to serve the rich. I do not know if I can flush that one out into a great piece of satire at this point, so that indoctrination will be for another time.

Regardless, God Save the Queen and Fuck the Video Assisted Referee (any good ref could have seen the offsides and the penalty).

On the topic of great foreign things that have fallen on hard time (I cannot wait for the Prince Charles take on "JVCD"), Jean-Claude Van Damme was one of those. As an action star, not an actor of course. If you have a writer as wise as David S. Goyer who knows how to justify an Los Angeles cop with an accent, you are in for some good stuff. If only I had those details before I accidentally came across the ridiculous finale of "Death Warrant" on cable.

10 years later, as someone who appreciates the Zack Snyder's DC trilogy, I can revel in the ridiculous premises that Goyer lays out. If only "Superman" had Van Damme's personality, I think everyone would agree with me that "Dawn of Justice" and "Death Warrant" can only be regarded as classics.

After single-handedly avenging his fallen partner, Quebec-transplant Louis Burke is the buzz of the L.A.P.D.'s homicide division. Being able to defeat the psychotic giant known as the Sandman, the governor and attorney general believe he can handle an undercover assignment in a state prison. He is a Quebecer. How would any inmates know who he was? This makes him the ideal person to determine who and why the new straight-laced inmates keep getting murdered. Or does this make him the ideal target.

The guards are in on this game and the governor may be as well. With Burke only being able to trust Amanda, his liaison, and Tisdale, his adolescent hacker pal, he will need to stick his neck out and ally himself with the wisest and most ambitious inmates to take down this conspiracy. All while praying that no seemingly invincible cons who he had busted get transferred to this clink.

"Death Warrant" might be the last great crazy script from the 80's era of action. Eventual TV great, Deran Sarafian's direction is the only thing that hinders the film. Well, that and most of Van Damme's costars acting down to his level.  Acting to the lead's capabilities is great when it is Keanu Reeve in a "John Wick" film, and you are portraying a criminal mastermind. Doing so as a somewhat ordinary person against a Belgian martial artist is comical.

But with all the stuff Goyer throws into his script, comical is not necessarily bad. It is like "Commando" with a lead who has more to say than just one liners. That either means we have a better story than the Schwarzenegger vehicle or far too low of a body count. Whatever you think, both are ridiculous, and that is what you want from 80's action, provided the effects are up to par, which they are.

To further get your attention, you get great supporting characters, some of whom you are just glad to see. Like Joshua John Miller, the boy who played Homer from "Near Dark." It is just good to see he did not leave his talent behind.

Robert Guillaume is not as powerful as Morgan Freeman's Red, but he gives a wise performance that is wise in so many ways. Wise that knew what kind of movie he was in. Wise that he knew how to be a relatable every man to help guide us through this tale. This wisdom must have passed on to his role as the original Rafiki.

This feature also has the best villain in a Van Damme film next to "Bloodsports's" Chung Li. Patrick Kilpatrick as the Sandman is like have an actual speaking version of Li. He is huge and menacing and his dialogue makes about as much sense as Bolo Yeung's most iconic role. Fortunately, the creepiness gives him a supernatural nature that you buy in on. Not until JVCD faces Dolph Lundgren do we get such a satisfactory adversary, and I love "Lionheart."

If I am overlooking one flaw, it may be the trangender prisoners portrayal, but this was a prison movie from before we considered all rape to be bad. What I am saying is, it is from a time where we had no clue on how to be woke. Should we remake this flick (with Van Damme as the Guillame role), I am sure we would find performers who can make this work. Would they want to is a totally different question.

Transgender hooker, hormone-driven hackers, inflammable giants and Jean-Claude Van Damme make "Death Warrant" a spectacle not to be missed. It is good for noise and it must be great with a few drinks. The story is something to be awed by and I am surprised there has not been a new take on this.

It is "Bloodsport" meets "Batman vs Superman." Who would not want to see an hour and over done CGI removed from that? Feel free to use that for the "4K 30th Anniversary Edition of Death Warrant." And email me at russthebus07@gmail.com for a treatment of my Pro-Wrestling Zom-Com, "Main Event of the Dead" while you are at.

I mean, Orion/MGM did distribute "Mac and Me." Surely I can do better.

IMDb.com
imdb.com



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