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Saturday, February 2, 2019

Spring 2009: Back to Saving the Steroid Business

Current mood: jedi

I got a lot of deadlines coming up. It almost seems like I an actual writer. But to make sure I'm not backed up on my goal to keep the employed and for those who do not want to deal with an article asking "Who are the best looking people on The Hill?" from going to an Illinois Central College campus to pick up the Harbinger.

Actually, do they place them at Downtown, South, or the North campuses? To be a college patriot, do you have to truly know all of your campuses? On that note, fuck Chief Illiniwek. I am sure UIC or UIS would gladly share their mascots.

Here is my call for respect of the great heroes of the negatively viewed steroid era. I'd put up my "Choke" movie review I wrote for the paper, but I like the sloppy version posted on the blog last October.



Are steroids really a big deal in
baseball?

Steroid users have been accused of quite a bit of cheating. They are accused of cheating out their fellow players by lessening demand for clean players, cheating the fans and the integrity of the game. But are these accusations fair or the lies of the bitter?

The homerun race of 1998 between Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa was what saved Major League Baseball by creating more excitement to a thinking man’s game. In essence, alleged juicers allowed their fellow players a livelihood. If there are less people watching baseball, there is a lower availability of money to be earned by everyone involved in the industry. Whether or not they were clean is irrelevant in the big picture.

Steroids are like the US Army. They allow our athletes to be all that they can be. This might be
the reason that this division of the armed services changed their slogan. Instead of investing money in the relatively inexpensive efforts of the noble doctors at BALCO who may only be in this questionable business to save up enough to start their family practices, the government opted to spend tax payer money on technology that helps not only our troops, but the insurgents who steal these weapons.

A poor decision because what the US needs right now is to truly make the Army “strong,” angry,
and acne riddled. Would the Taliban go toe-to-toe with a front line that would make Peyton Manning defecate inside the pocket? What our troops would do to the insurgent forces would leave them wondering whether or not those 72 virgins were worth that much trouble.

Steroids enhance humans to perform and excel at intimidating levels. They perform at such levels that the clean players label the users as cheaters, but perhaps the clean ones are not willing to put their health on the line like our fine soldiers and players like Peoria
Chiefs alums Albert Pujols (allegedly) and Rafael Palmeiro. These are players who not only put the condition of their genitalia on the line to entertain, but for having the greatest passion for the game.....

Palmeiro was allegedly gassing wanted to enjoy his life the only way he knew how. He was playing for the Baltimore Orioles at the end of his career. If he was concerned about money, championships, or putting up numbers, there is little doubt that he would have done everything possible to play for a contender, a team that would allow him to excel. Because he just enjoyed playing, he settled on the lowly Orioles. But because he was accused of cheating, O’Brien Field will not put his jersey number by those of Mark Grace and Wally Joyner, and failed to list him on the all time Chiefs team. A hypocritical motion since Pujols was placed in that line up.....

If one looks down on the means that allowed Palmeiro to play until his early forties, they may not be looking at what they would do to keep doing what they love to do. If a novelist developed
carpal tunnel syndrome, would they not ignore doctor’s orders and be strung out on painkillers to be at their typewriter or keyboard?....

Do not mock those who sacrifice their complexion and testes on the diamond. They are humble servants to a society that expects not only to be entertained, but to bask in the presence of perfection. Hail the eunuchs of our time, and post their jersey numbers on the outfield wall.

Additional:

I would like to apologize to Albert Pujols. With all the hubbub of the 2007 Mitchell report, and the articles that were posted before it was released, I believed that Pujols was listed as a steroid user in the independent study of performance enhancing drugs in baseball. So at this time declaring Mr. Pujols a user has no base.

But I would like to express that I believe he is as guilty as Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire, and Alex Roduigez. It is based on a conspiracy theory, that the Tweets I posted will explain.

  • It's a bull shit conspiracy. The Mitchell Report left out names of players they were hoping to break the "bogus" numbers.
  • I was just going on a fact finding to believe my suspicions of Albert Pujols, who has been accused, but not in the Mitchell Report like ARod
  • The Cardinals were quite the dirty team, as were the Yankees. Pujols was never caught, but I feel he is suppose to be sportwriters' Great Clean Hope.

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