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Thursday, July 18, 2013

A response from a Cena hater...sorry, a McMahon hater (even more pointless).

Since I cannot e-mail Wrestlezone's Chris Cash to respond to his "Yo, Cena Haters...Bring It" editorial, I figure I'll try making this rotting fruit of a frustrated blogger into a chance to draw flies to my Zombie Wrestling concept. I doubt it will get much attention, but for self esteem sake, it'll make me feel accomplished.

John Cena does not suck as a wrestler. I agree with C.M. Punk bringing up that he was just a failed body builder and an asskisser, but the guy's skills aren't bad, his mic work is fine, and he has the look (that statement may make my current job the third one where I pull the trash bin from under my desk to vomit into...if only the system didn't go down to not give me the free time to blog). He just sucks the life out of wrestling fans who remember January 23, 1984. I mention that date just to pin down the demographic that is complaining, a demographic that is completely irrelevant.

Vince McMahon is trying to get the attention of the only demographic that matters, 18-34 (those little bastards are just a bonus). Poor parenting is the only reason any fan in this demo would yearn for a return to the Attitude Era, so where would that leave them in terms of good guys to cheer for? Where we are now, John Cena.

Should John Cena still be at the top. I'd say no, but I remember growing up in the time of Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. Stars so loud and in your face, the demanded and deserved our attention. They weren't trying to be human, they were trying to be gods (a concept that made JBL). The Attitude Era may have let us know these stars were human, but performers like The Rock and Steve Austin handled themselves in a way that we wanted to emulate. They were greater men, and we all want to be great.

John Cena wants to be just a man instead of a great man. And that is when "Star Trek" needed a reboot.

So Cena needs a reboot to be tolerable to an audience that does not matter. The premier demographic may get sick of him, but there are always little kids who are no longer suppose to like athletes with attitude (why CM Punk couldn't take the ball as a baby face), so Cena is the only option for parents to let their kids cheer. From a creative stand point, John Cena is evidence that wrestling is broken. But McMahon controls an industry that is all about marketing. Wrestling is broken, but John Cena isn't. As the old saying goes, "If it isn't broke, don't fix it."

What makes me find Cena to be hatable is that he will have a resume that will make not only him look great, but McMahon godlike. His body builder physique is what McMahon believe is the best thing ever. If  a limited wrestler surpasses the greatest champion's (Flair) title count, it will make McMahon feel like he cemented himself as the greatest thing to happen to wrestling. Hulkamania be damned. This is probably how Cena was able to get to his ideal environment, the PG Era.

Once Cena was booed out of the All State Arena, McMahon should have been developing his new torch bearer. It seemed like he didn't have any options, but he's VKM, he would make you believe that he could create one. But he didn't, and that probably wasn't because of laziness. I say that because he didn't let Rob Van Dam beat his champ clean at the Hammerstein Ballroom and Cena went over Edge in a ladder match, in Toronto (I think McMahon envies Canadian nationalism). As an indy wrestler, I know you put over the territory's top star if you are the outsider. You get yours when the guy comes to your home (how else did Flair get to 16 times when Hogan held a belt for 4 years). McMahon has no respect for the structure he destroyed, so courtesy doesn't apply to him.

Unless McMahon gets bored with Cena (ratings be damned), thinks are not going to change. Cena is the first thing McMahon has created, so that probably won't happen. He's insured the concept anyway. Bryan, too small. Punk, too rebellious, Orton, too unreliable, Sheamus, a joke.

All I suggest is that we challenge McMahon's ego. He opened that Pandora's box by announcing the establishment of the Performance Center. We know, he is creating the next Cena, so why can't he get it right?

That may be a big compliment to Cena. So in the end, don't hate the player, hate the owner. Too bad owners are use to that (see George Steinbrenner).

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