If You Have Not Been Listening to NinetyForChill: The #Podcast: The Best Discoveries of 2022 (A to U)

 *This blog post was started on on December 17, 2022.

I suppose I should be grateful for two days off with no particular place to go. When you have lots of video games to play and a need to really get into "Pokémon: Violet", this is the rare chance that I am allowed to do that. There are some movies to watch as well.

Renting "X" at a Redbox is something that I have been meaning to do. It was the only real Black Friday movie deal that I saw at my retailer. A24 not having a set distributor for home media means they are one of the few studios that lack a streaming presence. Hence, purchasing it in physical form under the extended return policy means that I did not have to make the purchase absolute, unlike a lot of Black Friday Brad Pitt on iTunes.

My weekend offering myself an abundance of time which can be seen as a reward for a seemingly productive week. Early Monday morning was dedicated to meeting a Tinder match. Wednesday evening allowed me to record Tuesday's (Dec. 20) episode of "NinetyForChill: The #Podcast" with 7ceez from "The Not a Strong Start All Cast". Sadly, the lass I saw on Monday morning at a loud bar celebrating its final night chose to ghost me after our Monday night plans fell through.

What is truly depressing is that the two primary bars on the Urbana Main Street drag are now permanently closed. This should further inspire me to want to really look at moving up north. As seen with Peoria, once Main Street dies, there is no true love for the borderline alcoholics, but I digress.

If you take the time to say that we will manage to reschedule, then take the time to tell me to fuck off. I am curious what the sudden change in heart was. My only possible thought was that a current coworker of mine may have worked with her in retail. She was sympathetic to my Black Friday plight because she worked in the field for 10 years. He may have made friends with her, but judging that their is an eight year age difference between the two, that seems to be a stretch.

What could I have done to offend? Well, I spoke with my coworker about the evening and how I need to accept that girls in their near 40s will look like my teachers from back in the day. Being a fan of the entire "The Matrix" franchise, having issues acknowledging my residual self image could be the issue. They tell me I look young for 42, but it does not mean I am a looker.

Here's to our future cybernetic overlords. Just plug me in and allow me to be the never satisfied guy I already am. The system would prevent me from acknowledging the concept of being a middle-aged failure. There is a trivia rant that I can on, but yet again, I will digress.

The Best Movie Discoveries of 2022 (G to N):

I said I have a lot of time this weekend, but my productive week means I am behind on reviewing NinetyForChill: The Year. With just over eighty movies and only three weeks left in 2022, one of the weeks will need to be dedicated 40 flicks. To see where I stand in this summary of the best, the length of this post will be on the long side. When referring to the past blog's 10 best, there will need to be an appropriate process of elimination of these 40. And to be fair, it will need to be repeated 20 at a time. Lets breakdown G to N.

• 
  Ghostbusters (2016)
• Ghostbusters: Afterlife
• Gothika
• Hawk's Vengeance
• Highlander: The Final Dimension
• House
• Invitation to a Suicide
• Jay and Silent Bob Reboot
• Juno
• King of California
• L.A. Story
• Lo
• Mad God
• Master of the Flying Guillotine
• Mayhem
• Midnight in Paris
• Mothra vs. Godzilla
• Night of a Thousand Cats
• Night of the Demons
• No Contest

Films to Consider:

This started out as a tough block to seemingly strike down titles without a further review. With "Blind Fury" and "Fortress" being in the first set of top 10, it would be silly to include another Christopher Lambert feature and a senseless action flick. The Kevin Smith feature from this block might be more fun that "Clerks III", but it does not have its follow up's sincerity.

With that said, I recommend viewers that just want to have fun to give "Hawk's Vengeance", "Highlander: The Final Dimension" and "Jay and Silent Bob Reboot" a watch. Hedge your bets with some weed or booze.

Ghostbusters Afterlife (2021)

This is nostalgia and fan service done right. "Ghostbusters (Answer the Call)" could be considered fun, but it failed to realize why the kids of the 80s enjoyed the original. Without having the "Not Ready for Primetime Players" as the leads, the humor is not what it was in 1984, but the story pays homage to that crew and Harold Ramis in particular.

House (1985)

This is the hybrid of "Ghostbuster's" humorous approach to humor with "Evil Dead's" feel. The feature is hardly an R and is so absurd that anyone can handle its nastiness.

Invitation to a Suicide (2004)

It has a dark sense of humor that takes the piss out of the premise of honor suicide while still addressing the issues with having suicidal thoughts. The shot on video quality is actually charming especially since the film simultaneously mocks its budgetary shortcomings.

Juno (2007)

This is not Diablo Cody's best screenplay, but that was intended. How are you going to be allowed to make a mark on proper cinema if your story tells the audience to fuck off if they do not like it? The humor still has bite and Elliot Page's range is showcased. He is such a thespian that despite his queerness, he could carry the straight pretransition narrative. The supporting cast makes the story golden.

King of California (2007)

It is a well acted feature with a story that features a silliness that you want to see if it can be kept up. The ending might pull on the heartstring a bit too hard, but you are invested enough in Michael Douglass and Evan Rachel Woods's character arcs that you are fine with this sappy conclusion.

L.A. Story (1991)

If Woody Allen's features are something you can no longer watch, this will make you reconsider it. Steve Martin's script is full of heart and charm and even has that autobiographical feel you get from Allen's films. It is timeless because Martin is not allegedly a monster. I will need to get around to the other films he wrote after this to see if his filmography can rid us of a persona-non-grata, but if not, you know who will give you this type of story perfected.

Lo (2009)

If you want another similar Allen style of humor, "Lo" is on YouTube to fill that urge. It is a romantic comedy which addresses dealing with awkward partners and getting over them. The demonic elements make it unique and you cannot help but admire how much it gets done with absolutely no budget.

Mad God (2021)

It is going to be tough for any other feature that I saw this year to top this masterpiece. Narrative is appreciated, but the shear magnitude of this beautiful and disturbing film needs as much recognition as it can get.

Mayhem (2017)

This is the kill-or-be-killed office comedy I wanted five years ago with the James Gunn produced/penned "The Belko Experiment". When you want to see white collar people act like the concept of the poor that Fox News sells, you have to realize how absurd the idea is and just laugh at it. Joe Lynch had impressed me years ago with "Chillerama". He needs more opportunities because I think he has the range in direction that Kevin Smith seemingly lacks.

Midnight in Paris (2011)

His predilections maybe questionable, but as a hopeless romantic, no auteur has nailed the perspective better than Woody Allen. This is less autobiographical and more of a tribute to the influences that gave him his broken idea on what love is. Born 20 years later, I would imagine he would treat Hunter S. Thompson better than what Johnny Depp and Terry Gillian have offered us. On top all of this, just seeing our finest contemporary actors get to do caricatures of the best expatriates is a lot of fun while reminding us that the past always looks better through rose-tinted glasses.

Mothra vs. Godzilla (1964)

One must honor the feature that truly laid the groundwork for Godzilla's face turn and our fascination with wanting to see the best kaiju battle each other.

Night of the Demons (1988)

From one of the directors who got me into schlocky cinema, Kevin Tenney, this is "Evil Dead" for high schoolers. It offers everything you can hope for from an eighties "slasher" while acknowledging, that by this point in the genre, we are not here to take it serious at all.

The Current Top 10:

I would go an give a break down of who and why it made the top 10, but we got another 20 movies in contention.

1. Mad God (2021)
2. Fritz the Cat (1972)
3. Frankenstein (1931)
4. Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)
5. Deadly Games (1989)
6. Invitation to a Suicide (2004)
7. Clerks III (2022)
8. Lo (2009)
9. Mayhem (2017)
10. Midnight in Paris (2011)

The Best Movie Discoveries of 2022 (G to N):

• Out of the Dark
• Pokémon: Detective Pikachu
• Puppet Master
• Quench
• R.I.P.D
• Red Dwarf: The Promise Land
• Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City
• Roadside Prophets
• Rock n' Roll High School
• Shadow Hours
• Silent Night, Bloody Night
• Skatetown U.S.A.
• Sonic the Hedgehog
• Thankskilling
• Thankskilling 3
• Thir13en Ghosts
• Timebomb
• Top Secret!
• Turning Red
• Upstream Color

Twitter @vanillacherie

Films to Consider:

At this point, there is definitely no room for no budget features. If you have the stomach for the shortcomings that can come from the need to just get an idea out there, "Quench" and the "Thanksilling" franchise will not waster your time. ThePoeticCritic would recommend the Warhol-influenced "Silent Night, Bloody Night". "Timebomb" is of the same quality of action movies I like, but are from art. The real question from these feature, will any video game franchises get into the next round of top ten.

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu (2019)

If you are looking for "Deadpool Lite", Ryan Reynolds delivers it. This is a fun film that I think can amuse all nerds. The CG Bulbasaurs pulled at my heartstrings. All of the actors know what kind of movie they are in and deliver appropriate performances. It is inoffensive, so parents can be dragged out to the show and not feel too bored.

Red Dwarf: The Promised Land (2020)

Some may say that an obviously made-for-television movie has no place on the list, but this is an installment of my favorite television series that gives me everything I want in a new season without any downtime. The effects hold up since this is a comedy, and every character is as authentic as they have ever been.

Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

This opinion is from someone who has not played any of the "Resident Evil" remake video games. There is a good chance that the narrative they tell are perfect, thus this summation of the first three games maybe a loogie to the face of the franchise. At least for the cinemas, this is the most concise RE feature to be released. It lacks Paul W.S. Anderson wanting to show off his new 3D techniques, but that is not a bad thing. REWTR shows that at least four of the 2002 "original's" sequels lack substance and offered only distractions. I find this to be a pleasant reset with potential for a new franchise.

Roadside Prophets (1992)

For those who did not like "Clerks III", this is the version of the story that I think they can appreciate. With the exception of Jon Doe's lead, all the characters are pleasantly out there. It is not an ode to a past tale, but its own story that addresses getting older and losing important people in your life. "Clerks" has iconic characters to love, but I think audiences that rejected the threequel did not want them to mature with us. They went to the cinema to see dick and fart jokes from the characters they loved. "Prophets" is not dependent on those crutches while telling the same tale. The disassociation makes it easy for all to enjoy.

Rock 'n' Roll High School (1979)

This is juvenile fun that Roger Corman backed. Its purpose is to be propaganda for "The Ramones" which is why it does not reach the laughs expected between "Animal House" and John Hughes. The feature is charming, but does not have a narrative to make it a legendary AIP Picture.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

If you feel you need to put a video game character in the "real world", this is the perfect template. The film is quick to create a mythology that allows us to not question the premise. James Marsden acting against CG characters always seems to work out. Sonic is a character that anyone of any age can relate to, so every member of the audience should enjoy him. More importantly, the feature is a return of mid-nineties Jim Carrey, the most accessible and fun version of the actor.

Top Secret! (1984)

I think this is the narrative that the Zucker Brothers and Jim Abrahams had wanted to tell since the beginning of the careers, but were restricted for the need of sight gags. They still deliver on the latter, but I think their need to make it a musical holds it back from being "Airplane!". Still, it can be argued that it might still work better than any of "The Naked Gun" movies.

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

This is just a fun gory film to watch and have a laugh at. It makes it more accessible than no budget faire.

Turning Red (2022)

It does not do too much to differentiate itself from the style of the past Pixar films, but it has its moments. The narrative is brilliant and I think that it tells children and adults how to engage and relate to each other. Throw in the kaiju elements to this coming of age story, and it is the best Western animated feature that I have seen in a while.

Upstream Color (2013)

This is a movie that is the non-misogynistic response to "Fight Club". I compare it to the David Fincher film because it is all about discovering who you are while being paranoid of why you are. "Fight Club" feels more fun, and with that, I think audiences do not invest in the insanity that is plaguing its lead. "Upstream Color" makes the audience focus on the underlying themes.

The Current Top 10:

1. Turning Red (2022)
2. Mad God (2021)
3. Fritz the Cat (1972)
4. Frankenstein (1931)
5. Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)
6. Deadly Games (1989)
7. Roadside Prophets (1992)
8. Invitation to a Suicide (2004)
9. Clerks III (2022)
10. Lo (2009)

So, what it comes down to right now is narrative trumping art. I am surprised how well "Earth Girls Are Easy" is sustaining a spot. Next up will be the remainder of the alphabet and the films with "The" to start their titles. There will also be some late additions to the finals. David Cronenberg deserves a chance to defend his title.