*Blog post was started on March 18, 2022.

I now see that I am settling down from the retail work day, and it is nearly 9:20 pm. It was a little busier than you would expect for Champaign/Urbana on an Illinois Basketball tourney game. This lack of support for the Illini is probably why they barely survived Chattanooga's challenge.

I guess I am jonesing for AEW Rampage since I just provided a weak attempt at a "You People!" promo. With it now being 9:25 pm, there are worries of failing to get my wings in the (air) fryer before bell time. NJPW helps with the withdrawal, but I cannot split my focus between this blog and the New Japan Cup.

Then again, catching up on "Late Night with Seth Meyer's" YouTube's "A Closer Look", is not helping the time management. It is now 9:30 pm.

Yesterday was a pretty productive day off. Skimble got some time with Ally. My doctor's appointment and lab work went well. I discovered that Long John Silver's on Prospect has their drive-thru menu almost repaired (If only they would show their employees the pin bypass function when accepting a payment at the window.). There was also a couple of hours of Pokémon played. What more can I hope for from a weekday?

Tinder chatting with a girl who took the time to start up an episode of "NinetyForChill.com: The #Podcast" you say. Going to bed at 3 am did not sound like a bad idea. Thank you Shelby County Community Services Blackberry OG for making sure it was not a 4 am bedtime. I cannot help but admire her late night dedication to her dissertation.

The downside from potentially a new friend, it all started while I was giving the reimagining of "Stuart Gordon's "Castle Freak" a viewing. This feature is already 20 minutes longer than the original before the end credits run. All the chatter and accompanying pauses added another hour. At least this time I can blame that on somebody else.

 @Shudder "Original": Castle Freak (2020): From Gordon to Lovecraft

Rebecca Reilly's life seems like one that no one should envy. After a recent drunken party at Miskatonic University, her boyfriend John decides he was fit enough to drive home. The result, Rebecca is blinded when he crashes the car.

Perhaps her and John's life can bounce back from this incident. Rebecca ends up being the sole heir to an Albanian castle after her biological mother dies. John cannot wait to sell the property and the old relics inside of it. This can turn their lives around, but Rebecca is too consumed about what her family history is.

Her guilt-ridden beau is gradually losing his patience with her curiosity and her insistence that their is somebody already living in the castle. This frustration leads to denial as the residents of the town let him know of the castle's cursed history. Things only get worse when his party pals come to "help" with the transition.

The only friend who seems to have any interest in studying the history of the castle is The Professor. He will not be much help moving stuff. Rebecca found a skin-bound book, and The Professor is certain that it is the Necronomicon, a lost book that documents the history of the religion that worships the Great Old Ones. When the being that Rebecca suspected of roaming the halls makes its presence known by murdering and munching on one of the party goers, her visions start to indicate that this castle was meant to serve as a point for the old ones to return.

This remake of the Stuart Gordon classic is interesting for deciding to lean in on the Lovecraftian elements associated with his films. Special effects master Tate Steinsiek's "Castle Freak" is a nice homage that stands on its own, but definitely feels like it only has the quality of a made-for-video feature. Throwing in tentacles does not equal the charm of fine character actors who made something out of the simple Charles Band premise of, "There is a castle and a freak."

Kathy Charles's script decides the only way to make this feature worthwhile was to create a larger world from this simple premise. Without that because the characters outside of the primary relationship just being standard horror-victim tropes, this film would just be a waste of an idea. I do not know if this wider HP Lovecraft franchise can work, but it definitely demands my attention.

There are no good performances outside of Clair Catherine's Rebecca, so the feature needs to be more than just graphic violence. If the film had any star power, it could have worked as a tribute to Gordon. The elements of Lovecraft's "Dunwich Horror" makes you think past the bad acting and appreciate the gory demises of it. Unfortunately, all these new element to the story can make you lose track of what is happening.

There is definitely 10 minutes of the film that are unnecessary. Outside of the nightmarish imagery, it is a slow build to the chaos we came for. When you think back to all of Gordon's Lovecraftian adaptations, constant mayhem is expected, so this adaptation misses the point. Subtlety is not something we want from HP's horrific worlds.

What really hurts this take on "Castle Freak" is that it is shot in 16:9, but fails to capture the vastness of Gordon's movie that was shot in 4:3. The feature feels overly narrow. With the exception of a few attacks by the freak, even the violence seems squished in the frame.

And for a feature that is a slow build, there is never a sense of menace when it comes to the attacker. There are some violent scenes that at least tells us the writer and director know what is expected from this film. But without a genuine sense of dread from the freak, the violence does not pack the same punch.

"Castle Freak 2020" is "Castle Freak 1995" light at best. It offers the audience something new, but lacks the quality to totally get the fans of the original behind it. The Lovecraft franchise Shudder hopes to create has promise, but without great actors and fine directors, the next feature will be a waste of time. That is not the promise we are hoping for.

@twisted_twins is a Twitter account that I hope Shudder is considering sending a DM to.

Nerdly - Castle Freak (2020) Review