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Thursday, September 2, 2021

Golgo 13: Queen Bee - If James Bond Had Too Much Sex

 *Blog post was started on September 1, 2021.

I have just come back to work after what I found to be an enlightening vacation. The enlightenment is probably going to kill me as I plan to drive up to Chicago tonight for AEW's Dynamite taping to then immediately drive back home. But I was able to get an extra hour of sleep and it seems like I will be downing an entire pot of coffee from work, so will I ever be more ready?

The vacation was a busy one, at least when it comes to the days that I would have been at work. Atrophy kicked in Sunday after two days of not leaving my apartment. There was a podcast recorded on Friday, so again, I still made use of the time that would have been dedicated to work. When it comes to the enlightenment I was speaking of, that came from my trip to Milwaukee for AEW's tapings. It would have been more eventful if I had left for MKE on Tuesday, but the tetanus and pneumonia vaccines were kicking my ass from Monday.

With that said, Pfizer's Covid Vax did not do shit to me. Get your fucking shots people.

I went to the arena and saw that the Hyatt Regency was only three blocks away, so I booked it presuming the crew was there. Well, the hotel bar was closing by that point and I obviously did not know downtown. If you are looking for food though, Ian's Pizza by the Slice was solid. Otherwise, this meant that I did not know where the after party(ies) were. This led me back to the hotel before midnight. At least there were the  "Archer" premiere replays. RIP Jessica Walter.

As I called it a night, I heard some Sting "Woos" around 2 am, but no other indication that I had missed much. Alone in an expensive hotel room, it kind of left me thinking where my life was heading. And I am proud to say that I took some initiative. I finally laid myself out there to a girl I had been chatting with for a year, and I am more dedicated to watching movies. Both seem to be paying off.

The date occurred, good weed was smoked, and she has not been ghosting me. On top of that, I had got the most out of my free trial of IFC Films Unlimited on Apple TV. My submissions to the ID10T's Community Corkboard and C2E2 Panels had been made. And I was able to still manage an extra hour sleep as Netflix delivered me "Golgo 13: Queen Bee", a one hour OVA. Perhaps I should jump on SixtyForChill.com

Golgo 13: Queen Bee (1998)

A South American militant has been taunting the presumed Democratic presidential nominee. The Queen Bee has been sending weekly notes to the campaign suggesting how she longs to see the president dead, so the nominee's top adviser determines that it would be best just to eliminate the threat by the simplest and yet most effective way possible. That being, hire Golgo 13 (a.k.a. Dick Togo) to assassinate her. With a 100% success rate, who can argue with this decision?

Togo is more than who he seems, and the seductive Queen Bee knows this. She finds Togo to offer him a contract to kill the nominee's advisor and test his horizontal reputation. Despite satisfaction when it came to the latter, Golgo 13 states he only takes on one job at a time. His word is his bond, so she knows she is next.

This may be his toughest assignment since she is protected by the mafia and her rebellion. Once she heads into hiding, the nominee's advisor decides to pull some strings with the military to unleash a psychotic special ops agent, Benning, and a military strike on the rebels. For Togo, it is one thing to kill a target. It is an entirely different thing to go scorched earth for one person.

On top of this, Queen Bee declares her motives in derailing the presidential campaign. Dick Togo may have to let his morals make the call when it comes to how he approaches this delicate situation, but will he let his reputation be diminished for the right side?

From what I have gathered (I have seen half of the TV series and the feature "Golgo 13: The Professional"), Dick Togo is supposed to be Japan's James Bond. He is a super agent who is irresistible to all woman. Unfortunately for the OVA (original video animation), "Golgo 13: Queen Bee" puts far too much emphasis on the latter.

With the focus on assuring that Queen Bee is naked and overly sexualized, the feature does not move along well. The great action pieces from the previous media (manga and the 1983 feature) are lacking, so you start to wait for a conclusion. Its one hour runtime end up being a blessing.

This video tries to make up for the lack of action by trying to hard to reference the manga's style. It stops the animation seeming every minute to try and emphasize the importance of those 60 seconds with a frozen frame which was seemingly pulled from the manga. Once every sentence ends with an exclamation point, excitement is lost. To do this at the start of the video results in us feeling the project is pretentious 10 minutes in.

It also figures out how to make the runtime a hindrance. Like "Golgo 13: The Professional", some messed up sexual circumstances are provided for character motivations. This is a shocking revelation, but no time is given to let it really settle in. In this case, Dick Togo kind of comes off looking bad for following his code as well.

Everything comes off as bad with "Golgo 13: Queen Bee". The television series and the original theatrical feature look better in nearly every way. Not to say that it looks bad, but when a TV show outshines the production level of an OVA, you are dealing with a flawed project. And when you try to divert our attention from the flaws with sex, your video just comes across as tacky. With distributor Urban Vision's decline, it is not a bad thing for "Queen Bee" to be a tough find. 

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