*Blog post started on September 3, 2020.
I cannot really recall the last time I truly slept in since moving to my new place. Perhaps I just need to use the cushy bed in the bedroom opposed to the firm twin that is in the living room. It is either that or come up with an accident for Skimble. The cuddling is great but my sinuses are not. Maybe some threatening photo(s) like Skimble in my air fryer or stock pot will light a fire under my ex to move out of her the place she shares with her boyfriend who was moved to tears by the Republican National Convention.
I do not know that paranoid guy's last name, which is silly because I worked with his bilingual brother who is living with the "Mexican Super Friends" from my last hospitality job. Why would I want to know his last name? So that I could go and include him on my list of conservative trolls to harass when they go after the best Americans. That kind of heat would further encourage my former better quarter to find a cheap one bedroom to care for fluffy allergy boy.
It is 3:45 pm, and it feels like I am just now waking up. The headache has finally faded. If it is my sinus instead of taking fat soluble vitamins on an empty stomach, the pain is migrating and spread out through my face. This sensation is rather Pink Floydian.
I best be careful with how quickly I finish this blog. If I conclude it today, then I will want to watch something tonight and stay up way too late. Pizza and straight to bed sounds like the best strategy.
If you have kept up on my blogs, thank you. I request that you do not give me too much grief about eating the obvious blood sugar spiking that comes with dough. There is nothing in my fridge otherwise except an egg and Eggo waffles. Yes, chicken drumettes are also in the freezer, but I do not want to get tired of chicken. It is all I have left.
One of my coworkers had just turned 24 today, and as we were documenting something, I thought they were going to sign in the wrong place. It turns out I was wrong which sucks because it would have been great to make an aging joke about the potential mistake.
The oldest employee here (me) made the error and tried to cover up by acknowledging their comedy strategy. In turn, the targeted employee said how they were still waiting on their AARP card. I responded with you are not even halfway there. And then the math in my head occurred, and I realized that I am 80% the way to receiving those discounts for Consumer Cellular.
We could not help but laugh at the concept of retirement. I laughed because retirement is a pipe dream for a blogger. They laughed because they claimed that they were just going to die young. To that I responded with, "You need to put a lot more initiative into that plan." A high SPAM diet is not going to get you there. My body has been abused for years and yet I stand.
I held up on suggesting that it is all about how you slice with the blade. I swear that I did not know it was a long the arm, not across. Do not fear, I am working to a segue here.
My best suicidal tweet/Facebook status update did not end up being a tweet. This was on a flip phone when I would text Twitter to post. Too bad my phonebook was organized in a way that put Mom's number next to Twitter's. The text went something like this:
I wish my cat had opposable thumbs so that she could be my second so I could commit seppuku. She could take off my head after the disembowelment.
Mom was a little freaked out, but seemed to appreciate the drama behind it. When you take in my last ten years or my 2005/2006 into consideration, I wonder if she understood ritual suicide to restore honor. I never knew she watched so much samurai-related programming. Was "Kill Bill" enough for her to get it?
She does not get Quentin Tarantino, that is for sure. His admiration for urban culture in the arts and relating to them via the concept of ACAB is something she will not get behind. The moment he stated that, Mom has refused watch any of his films. The woman just refuses to understand the power of great art. If she did, maybe I could expose her to "Afro Samurai" (She loves Samuel L. Jackson's Capital One ads.) or the far superior "Samurai Champloo".
Samurai Champloo - Episodes 1 - 4
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