*Blog post started on May 19, 2020.
You figure with Florida allowing a few sports, things would finally get exciting again on the Internet. I have to wonder why I am complaining. Aside from morons protesting at state capitals to be free to kill everybody, be it with firearm or COVID-19, things are just in a holding pattern until the election. With 60% of the population actually giving a shit about their fellow human, we do not actually have to deal with any of theses assholes.
If anything, I worry about not being angsty enough to be prepared to burn this country down in the event of a Trump reelection and the Republicans maintaining control of the Senate. But, the response on Twitter to my most recent published blog "Infrequent Online Daters and Right-Wing Twitter Haters (like @shurriep)" is something I have yet to review. There are still two more days of retweeting during wrestling show hours, so there is no need to rush in seeing what kind of memes these deplorables will bombard me with if they feel insulted.
The truly insulting thing will be that they will not take the time to read any of it. At least finish the lighter portion of it to get around to calling me:
- A snowflake in need of validation from the opposite sex. Or
- A faggot who just needs to accept that I like the cock instead of being a decent and considerate in terms of courting, you know "queer" stuff.
and thus my opinions about their mental states matter not, since I am the one lying to myself, like anyone who feels attacked would do to avoid considering changing their ways.
With nothing going on in terms of events, Twitter bullshit is seeming the only thing the Internet has to offer. The bank's firewalls allow for some work arounds to visit some social media, but it is not worth my job status to exploit them (frequently). Unless there are some horrific tales about the abuse of the downtrodden, it does not take long to get through all the news websites. Fortunately, "The Ringer" did have a pleasant distraction from the weekend.
The articles are now buried by "Game of Thrones" fan-fiction and articles about how the series concluding was the death of pop culture, but they had some fun stuff about 1986's "Top Gun" since the sequel "Top Gun: Maverick" was supposed to be released last Friday. I had fun being directed to topgunday.com from the call sign ranking article and finding out the bank staff's generated nicknames (Best: Goldenrod. Mine: Suitcase.), but the essay that really got my brain stimulated was the comparison of the original film to David Lynch's "Blue Velvet" by Brian Phillips called "The Subversive Sameness of ‘Top Gun’ .
Phillips's work discussed the dependency upon Oldies (I would say Classic Rock was when The Beatles started using psychedelics.) and how they both tell tales of young men growing up with surrogate parental figures. One was for the Reagan fans. The other for the open-minded. It took me a while to appreciate the latter (I reside in Champaign, so Roger Ebert's opinion has more weight with me than most.), but I did purchase it eventually. "Top Gun" was everywhere growing up and I watched the WYZZ's volleyball-free edit many a time, but as a kid, I always appreciated "Iron Eagle" more, so to spend money on a lack of Tom Cruise hetero chemistry was/is a no go.
When comparing Gun to Eagle, I got to give my two cents about aircraft. The F-14 Tomcat with its sling-wing gimmick was cool, but give me the F-16. Mach 2 with one engine and no need for a navigator (Radar Intercept Officer for you military buffs) sounds better. Goose and Meg Ryan would live happily ever after despite Iceman pulling off so abruptly.
I really should not get into fighter jet arguments. It was a preadolescence fascination, but not being as smart at engineering nerds, flashbacks of being mocked for my preferences arise. In the end, Fuck the F-18 hornet for going Matt Hardy on the F-14 and making me seem dim to guys who cannot throw a punch.
And after all this "Top Gun" revisionist history, I really need to get myself "Iron Eagle" in high def. Is it a great movie? No, but I would venture to say it was as fun as "The Last Starfighter". Maybe I just needed sequels to "Starfighter" to eliminate the need for a ridiculous story about rescuing your dad from pseudo-Libyans.
Are there right-wing nuts who have a greater appreciation for Eagle because of that? Fucking Benghazi. Those conservative cocksuckers would have obviously missed the point on "Iron Eagle" if that was the case.
Perhaps the Louis Gossett Jr. franchise was a subconscious trigger for my rebellious side. The military's authority was the true antagonist in all of the films. The films were about doing the right thing, not being part of the establishment. 25 years removed, I wonder how many oil fields Maverick has torched without rescuing anyone? Doug at least got one of us back.
And that is another thing that justifies "Iron Eagle V" instead of "Top Gun II". Your protagonists are Chappy and Doug. They do not need those overly masculine call signs. The best call sign was Goose. It was not anything overly aggressive. And that is why he was offed. Was it not?
As I type all this up, the songs from the Tony Scott film's are playing through my head. I had a tendency to buy soundtracks for movies my parents were hesitant to let me see ("La Bamba" was my first cassette.). It is a solid soundtrack, at least the A-side. The B-side at least has Steve Stevens's "Top Gun Anthem", but Giorgio Moroder was lacking, so I would end up listening to "Danger Zone" and flipping over the cassette if I really needed the best guitar track of that decade. This leads me to wonder if I needed more of a compilation soundtrack instead, like the jet movie OST with Dio, Twisted Sister, George Clinton, and MOTHERLOVING QUEEN.
In all seriousness, the cohesive nature of Giorgio Moroder is more worthy of $13 bucks (that's the price of CD's now. Right?), but I do appreciate the masculine vibe of the other soundtrack. Neither film is for the ladies. What I appreciate more is "One Vision" over "Take My Breath Away" though Berlin's song with that title is better than the Freddie Mercury penned "You Take My Breath Away". Symphonic and rocking kicks the shit out of any ballad.
I now realize I downplayed the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science crime from 1986. Where were Mercury, May, Deacon and Taylor's gold statuette. Especially when the best soundtrack of that year was that of "Highlander" (Sorry David Bowie's "Labyrinth"). It was bad enough overlooking "Flash Gordon" six years prior.
"Top Gun" was propaganda for its time. Do we really need a Trump-themed time capsule via a sequel? Gossett's stock in on the uptick after "Watchmen", so give me "Chappy Rides Again." Or better yet, let us have an "Iron Eagle" reboot with Barack Obama as the titular father figure. How could anyone pass that up?
I may have to listen to Queen + Adam Lambert's request for fried chicken before determining if that would be worth greenlighting.
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