MFK: Movies, Wrestling, Sleep

*Post started on January 6, 2020.

Thus far, there is still nothing new to complain about in 2020. Well, teaching children to play bad fundamental football (You knee in the end zone or signal for a fair catch. Play until the whistle.) at the Buffalo Bills' expense and the team I abandoned the Ditka-less Bears for being ruined despite a rule that was suppose to allow them to stay in the playoffs two years running, but I need to shake of my fandom for a sport that we should not encourage children to play.

My better quarter (Eva the Cat gets half) did not want (I prefer she did not.) to drive 30 miles just to get the rent money, so I am barely liquid, hence I could not get into too much trouble. It was nice when she was not around when I got off work so that I can get comfortable and tell her to enjoy the video game or pro-wrestling, but that has been the way it has been for the past four months. There is no reason to blame it on the new year...unless you want to add my third method of using the alone time, developing new Buffalo sauce recipes to stock my kitchen for the annual resolution of eating something Buffalo-related everyday of the year.

Manager's Husband: I was going to cut out bleu cheese for lent.

It sucks when the most obvious time to call someone a pussy during poker night is also the most inappropriate time.

All-in-all, I had a good weekend. We watched "Valerion: City of a Thousand Planets" on Friday night.

My first legitimate complaint of 2020. If I can run a website for $156.35 a year, the remnants of Europa Corp. should be able to be online and to recognize my digital copy redemption code, regardless the settlement for Luc Besson being Pepe Le Pew. At least that covers up Dane DeHaan's feature length impersonation of Keanu Reeves and the "Top Gun" Kelly McGillis/Tom Cruise-like chemistry he had with Cara Delevingne. "Top Gun" meets "Star Wars" would be a good way to describe the flick.

I watched Wrestle Kingdom 14 Night One live Saturday morning.

Not the results I would have gone with, but Okada versus Ibushi was able to keep me awake. When Osprey dropped the Junior Heavyweight Championship to Takahashi, it left me worried for ZSJ retaining the British Heavyweight Championship against SANADA on night two. Naito was the easy pick for the Intercontinental Championship and the three remaining LIJ members were vying for the NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship. To leave SANADA without gold would look weird. Thank the queer gods for night two.

Saturday night was day job poker night.

It was fun getting reacquainted with Malort and I may have a better understanding of the thought process of my girlfriend as she outlasted the majority of players. If you include waiting an extra 10 minutes for her to get out of church, I might understand more than I wanted to.

I slept in Sunday and got an evening shift in at the retailer.

For not being on the schedule the past two weeks, it is just good to know that I still have that job.

Sunday night was devoted to Wrestle Kingdom 14 Night Two once the girlfriend said she did not want to do anything.

The abundance of single matches kind of took the luster of night one. We watch marquee ZSJ matches to see outrageous submissions, so a pinfall took all the wind out of his title defense. I left pumped for Moxley versus Suzuki. KENTA ruining the celebration after the redundant main event makes made me wonder if Wednesdays should be devoted to catching up on NJPW World content. It is going to be tough to keep cable after the rate jump.

Once Sunday ended, all of the doubts crept in. Well, they appeared before the retail shift, but I am tough. I could ignore them for close to half the day.

The doubts are about my seemingly stagnant relationship. I am the only one who does anything to care for the household. My beloved goes through the motions and only considers what affects her. If it does not bug her, it does not matter. Her living with me is just me spoiling her because I will take everything into consideration.

It is always new things that bug you. You have to tell me about them.

If you take the time to consider how something may appear to someone else, I should not have to tell you.

It makes me wonder if I need to change my relationship on Facebook, just so interested parties do not track her down. Maybe I am just self sabotaging myself. If someone looks her up on the social media platform, they are doing it to tell her how much of an asshole I am. When I have been coming to the conclusion that I am not a good person, would that be a bad thing? She needs to know.

Once work and wresting were done with, I was in a position to get six hours of sleep. I am welcomed by her snores and her undiagnosed sleep apnea facing my side of the bed. 20 minutes later of wondering why I am dealing with this, I no longer have half of the bed. Fortunately the guestroom's bed is firm. Unfortunately, Skimble the Cat followed, so my preferred company that I lowered the bed for was going to stay curled up in her throne.

As I got comfortable there, I realized that the two of us do not seem to have enough in common. If we did, it would not be a constant going to bed at different times and finding THE bed unbecoming. Again, if it does not impact her, she pays it no mind. Introducing her to new things seem pointless because she does not want to take the time to pay attention to anything she is not passionate about.

Pinterest - Rachel Fig

I do my damnedest to support her crafts, but I may not being doing enough. It may be as simple as insisting that she does this stuff in the room that I rearranged to allow her as a workspace with virtually all the same amenities of the living room. If we are not going to spend an evening trying to connect with each other, why do we need to share the same space. Pardon me for enjoying live TV.

I need a better chair in there.

Which I would have to provide and you would probably still ignore.

Perhaps I am just bitching about poor sleep. Nobody will invade each other's space if we go to bed at the same time. It just does not feel like we are ever in a position to do that. But that is because we are just never on the same page.

It was so much easier living in a cramped one bedroom with a bug infested kitchen (Thanks Neves Group). The space had to be shared, so we just dealt with it. Now it feels like I am paying an extra $150 a month for luxuries that I cannot use. Do I have my own room? Yes, but due to mixed messages, all the cool stuff is hooked up to the living room. If I were to move everything in there, she would follow for the comfort/security.

If I cannot be comfortable and she does not care about that, why am I choosing to live like that?

I got her a ring for Christmas. It was not an overly pricey thing, it may not be the most I have ever spent on her (in belongings terms) but she loved it and is doing her best not to lose it (Losses amount to two-thirds of the current ring). She was told it was a lovers knot, so our fates are tied. What the knot seems to mean to mean is that I am tangled.

She always worries about whether she is holding me back or not. I do not think so because I will do what I want to do anyhow. But that is because I am a selfish person. It may be more than selfishness. Frustration over her not taking risks or how she guilts herself into not having fun drives me crazy. This serves her well at the card table, but it was pointless because she was not playing with her money (stupid bank being in Douglass County). The feeling is that she cannot be comfortable in places where I am.

If I want to be comfortable, I got quit giving a damn about hers. Tough place to end with two weeks before Blue Monday. Maybe subliminal Joy Division and New Order is the easy way out.