Schrodinger's Cat: Rationalizations of an Existentialist (Part 15: If Hank Jr., Ain't Ready, You Ain't)

Perhaps I should start a Kickstarter to get the funds to start an Main Event of the Dead, LLC. If the Facebook friend who only has an intro video can reach $333 (a head of allotted schedule [he should only have a 250]), I should at least try to scam the tax man with my monthly payments to my domain host. Until we have a uniform international government, do not tax the Internet.

Eventually, to sell my horror/comedy motion picture, "Main Event of the Dead," I will need that paper work to sell this feature (if Troma doesn't jump on distribution). So if my tale of desperate workers versus Zombie Canadians, Hobos, and Obese SES members isn't enough to get your support, I'm sure Main Event of the Dead, LLC will have other endeavors, sure to make a return on your investment.

Still, getting the word about this project is the most important think, so if the 25 readers could spread this along their Facebook pages (get on the Twitter and follow @MainEventZombie), we can get to the point where I can further finance this project beyond the $8.95 a month I spend for the maineventofthedead.com domain and the occasional eBay "prop" purchase.

Maybe this would let me write off my WWE Network subscription as research.

Of course I'm working too much to fully enjoy my subscription. If only I had some paid time off, I can justify my need to put another 17 hours a week at another job to make ends meet. When you take into account what account I work on for my 8:30 to 5 employer (never thought my commie loving ass would say it, but fuck you Jane Fonda), it hurts. Not as much as the emotional pain I've gotten by realizing, or should I say...

Rationalization 47: You Feel Just in Your Indifference.

Of course, who among those that have expressed the basis of support for this rational will find it difficult to hear about my thoughts on it. One was a reader who told me that how I act is undeserving of support (remind me not to stand up to their next significant other who attempts to abandon them in a tough spot). The other, doesn't believe blogs should exist, and told me that my biggest problem is that I let people know I'm sad.

It'll be tough to go full coffee cat on them, but if they tell me that I'm not worthwhile, and to live with it, they have no right to input.

Then again, one does take the time to give me feedback. Yes, it supports those who are indifferent to me, but it's better than having me on a friends list, and only giving a shit when I say something liberal.

So, I better come up with a clever Michael Sam reference in the title to draw that attention.

Rationalization 48.A: The Narrow Minded Will Keep You Down

I'm not trying to say I relate to the first NFL Draftee. It maybe fair to say, I am nothing like the guy. I had never earned acknowledgement as the best of any kind of athlete. I'm a WASP (it just doesn't sound good to be a WAS since I dropped the Protestant). I am still looking for that guy who is worth shagging, and my love for the female form (and feel) keeps putting that as a lower priority.

Rationalization 49: I May be a Narcissist...Obviously not THE, even though I do share Buffalo roots that Lex Luger has (it's two degrees).

I seem to be attractive to women with men's hairstyles, but not men with men's hairstyles. The more offbeat the style the woman has, the sexier they become. As a guy with an offbeat hairstyle (and style in general), I am just thoroughly impressed by any person who can do it better than I. What guy can do it better than me? Girls on the other hand...

And it usually becomes a "Pink Triangle" scenario. "Pinkerton" maybe Weezer's best album. The "blue" album is definitely THE album, but you need something to wash "Beverly Hills" from your memory.

Rationalization 48.B: Did the Mind Narrow Because of Sports?

The reason I'd like to address the Michael Sam situation is because, I've been so down, only my frustrations with society have gained any of my attention. Right now listening to ESPN Radio is like living back at home, where Fox News is the only channel unless ID: Investigation Discovery had an exceptionally arrogant murdered being profiled.

It is great that Michael Sam was drafted, but only great. We cannot use any greater adjective until he makes the team. And there is no reason he should not make the team, and I think the NFL knows that. So they're out to create reasons to call him just a gay guy and not a football player.

There are 1,696 players per season in the NFL. Surely, the SEC Defensive Player of the Year gets a spot. Outside of the 792 guys who get cards, I bet the rest are interchangeable. I was never PWI 500, but the other top 1196 wrestlers, I belonged. If Tim Tebow got a spot, and he was never good at his position, surely a guy who can play a non-coverage position (and only missed the top pick's bench press by two reps) should get a job. The only reason Tim Tebow got drafted in the first round was because his celebrity demanded it.

Michael Sam is celebrity, but since he will not pray (and that may only be because the defense does not get that many touch down opportunities), it does not count. And because he is part of a despised minority by the typical Tebow fan, it is a bad idea to give him the same respect. Tim Tebow got to start games. Michael Sam may not be a starter, but it is only appropriate to give him a spot on the roster. That would seem like a seventh of Tebow's reward of celebrity.

Instead, the NFL is going to do anything to make him fail. I was offended that they weren't behind the OWN proposed documentary based on their claims that Sam will not be focused on football. It is being assumed that Sam is just going to make his NFL career about his sexuality despite four years at Missouri that says otherwise.

The NFL thinks they are taking the stance of keeping the desperate out of the league. And sports media is behind that stance because if Sam has a TV show, the NFL becomes a spectacle. What the fuck is the Super Bowl? Fuck, that is all the NFL is.

I like to see amazing plays, enough that I watch the league, but there is no substance besides the spectacular. If there was, they would be playing year round like REAL FOOTBALL PLAYERS.

Then again, the problem is not that Sam will not make the team. The NFL cannot let it get documented with anyone else's camera. And since they control the sports media, no Sports Network will risk that either.

Maybe I should be disappointed in Oprah Winfrey for backing down. Of course, you can YouTube her frolicking with Paula Dean.