I could have just copied and pasted my review for "Slumdog Millionaire", but I'd rather save that in case the Illinois Central College newspaper doesn't print it. For entertainment sake, I'll wait to see if I get to destroy The Harbinger over their disrespect towards fine writing and Hindi actors.
The suggestion of mocking Aretha Franklyn's hat at the inauguration was interesting, but it almost seems redundant to state how most black fashion is closer to FUBAR than FUBU. Of course, in an effort to stay fair and balanced, I got to defend this statement.
At least white people stopped with Tie-Dye. Honkees also care enough to pay for the licenses to pro sport teams. Montages of city names in letter jacket patch format with sport balls just seems tacky.
For a Cubs fan, it is embarrassing to see the Afrocentric knock off gear. The Cubby Bear look-a-likes seem to have came straight out of Hanna Babbeara's Special Laffalympics.
Horrid fashion statement shows that I can restrain my violent urges. When I saw a guy with a Cubs away cap with a straight bill, size sticker on the top of the bill, and worn to the side, I was able to prevent myself from killing the guy.
Current mood: confused
Now if he was a white guy wearing the cap that way, it would have been a different story. Any other sports attire I'd be fine with a black guy mucking up. And I shouldn't say mucking up since it's their fashion, thus I can't say it's stupid because of that. I just wouldn't wear it that way. Like other self-respecting white guys.
When white guys try to adopt black fashion, they look like they'd been dressed by an either cruel or lazy PARC (Peoria's caregivers to the developmentally challenged) employee. You have the choice to look smart, so why make a bad decision. It's like being asked whether Hitler was an asshole. How can you want to say, misunderstood as an answer?
If a white guy was to try to get in touch with his deepest ancestors (like the Nubians), and he did it by disrespecting a Cubs hat, he just made it personal with me, so I'll plead out to Murder Two, unless I could get tried in Cook County.
The only thing worse than messed up apparel is the excessive use of "bling." I can't speak too poorly of this excess since I'm a fan of puffy fabric paint, but it is sad that their metallic plastic is like pick pocketing from their own kind.
It doesn't seem right that they have to buy their shirts pre-blinged because of the "lack of credit" stereotype. White people only need to call the 800 number during Adult Swim to get all the street cred their kids will ever need with crunk to spare if the order is made in the following fifteen minutes.
Maybe that's the reason for the weird sizes. Imagine how embarrassed I was when I bought a couple of large sized South Pole shirts.
Kohl's, stopped selling the dancer friendly shirts for white people, an no one told me. South Pole had the fabric I was looking for, and Penny's had them on sale. Since I don't hit the gym, large has always worked for me.
That evening, I found out I was a chubby white kid instead of a large black guy. When did they appoint Bill Cosby to be the sizing decision maker? It's a joke that Fat Albert is the standard right? Thank god the Mushmouth headwear didn't catch on.
Needless to say, I was out $30. My luck, I'd end up with the one non-senior citizen clerk in Men's wear when if I try to return them.
In the end, it is not anyone's place to mock any other culture's clothing. As long as they keep making it unique to the culture, the diversity shown makes it worthwhile. And everyone can just enjoy mocking of the posers it allows.
All is right with the fashion world as long as Sean Combs stays away from the hippies. I would say the brothers can take Tie-dye, but they'd have to give us back Tony Montana. They only asked for 40 Acres and a Mule. I think it is best not to spoil them.
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