7/22/09: America's got...

Current mood: pissed off
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

What America's got is me pissed off. I can't believe this is how I get my freedom to blog tonight. My older sister, who wouldn't watch "American Idol" when our cousin was in the top 12 is watching "America's Got Talent".

I'm not trying to make myself look good or my older sister look bad. I didn't tune in to Idol when my cousin was on it, nor have I ever tuned in. That was the third season, the one between Underwood and Studdard. The person who won, well I don't listen to crossover music I guess. As does everyone else since they can't remember him when I tell them my cousin "was the kid who looked like Conan."

That in itself is something America's got me pissed off about. William Hung fever wears off, so damn those who worked their ass off to be sell outs to that exploitative limey son of a bitch. I did at least listened to John Stevens album of covers. Dare I say I'm an ideal American for supporting a family member that I hadn't spoken to...probably ever.

The kid is eight years my junior and I hadn't seen him since he was eight. He was too busy being pimped by my aunt (The weird narratives family sells you about other family. I wish I could claim it was intended hyperbole. In actuality, no exploitation occurred.) to entertain at my grandparents' 50th anniversary. Not to say I wouldn't have kicked someone's ass if it would put a smile on my late grandfather's face, but the hockey player cousin who might hold his own with me couldn't make the schindig. I could be tempted into beating the crap out of the hellion of my cousins, but the lack of sport would make me think better of that. Even though I was a tad annoyed by when I was misrepresented in the music/slide montage with a crappy photo of my football days.

It was that summer that I decided that I felt all I could be was a 170 lbs offensive guard, and that just doesn't work at the varsity level no matter how many starts I had at the fresh/soph level (17 of 17). I felt a little unappreciated about the fact I covered for a couple of all conference tackles who were nothing more than inconveniences to the defense. Thankfully, you run the ball a lot at that level, so I wouldn't have to hustle to save the running backs after I took care of my linebacker. At least not that many times.

I don't like to acknowledge that I'm growing more and more bitter about my lot in life. There are times it seems I am only holding on to faith in hopes that I can someday kick the all mighty's ass. He should be more than aware of this plan after giving my ass a football like stature sans the height, and more fighting spirit than all the pro wrestlers in Peoria.

Hey, the "poser-smarks" say I got a big mouth, so I'm rolling with the gimmick.

America's got me pissed about a whole lot of other things. Like the fact there are four Osbournes making a living in this country instead of just one, but after summoning up some adolescent demons, I'm going to have to step away to organize my revolution.

Vote Stevens for Illinois State Representative in 2010 or else.