G4 Era Blog: Kristy Swanson: A Tragic Detour to My SLC Punk Coverage

As I wait to watch my SLC Punk DVD at 9 a.m., I flip through the channels, so I could have some background noise as I write down some preliminary thoughts.

Before I settle on "Ninja Warrior", I flipped through the Encore movie channels and find out something disturbing. Kristy Swanson was the star of "Mannequin 2: On the Move."

MoviePoster.com

She really had no hope of making the A-List. One can claim that she had her chances to make it, and lord knows she tried (like the sex scene in "The Chase"). But when you are portraying a character because Kim Cattrall turned it down, and you portrayed another one that Joss Whedon was dying to rewrite, sympathy is all that her adoring public can offer.

Was she too static? That explains the MOTM role. Or did she just have a lousy agent? Only the made for video fan can say.

With the stiff resume (I would imagine "Flowers in the Attic" needed a bit more emotion, so that we would remember more about the film than the subtle implication of incest), her beauty ends up betraying her. If only she could butch up a bit, she may have been the "Buffy" cast member with two academy awards instead of Hilary Swank.

When I think about her one dimensional resume I think about what my preliminary paragraphs/observations about "SLC Punk" were going to include. Unfortunately, I throw myself off on this rant about Ashton and Seann William's supporting actress/boob joke, I have to put off my review of the film on hold.

In essence, that is the plot of "SLC Punk", putting things off with "appropriate" excuses. Kristy Swanson: lets travel around the world, just you and me, punk rock girl.