MFK: Baseball, Video Games, Typing...or Death to Your Piggies

At least the walls are not too thin. This is what comes to mind as the hotel is hosting 15 kids among three families.

I feel like driving east to the town where I would say nine are hailing from. The only time I really paid attention to that village was when I dropped off my first true friend with benefits off at her parents house after she put in six hours at the West Peoria establishment then known as Fantasyland. She was fun company, but the most worthwhile benefits was probably hanging out with her cats. Needless to say, regardless of the benefits, convincing me to drive 100 miles in the early morning was not a challenge.

FUN FANTASY BASEBALL MEMES IMAGES

Being aware of what existed in that township was not on my mind, but it is off I-74, so one would presume there would be motels. Hell, Chillicothe, Illinois has a Super 8, the high end of the hotel wannabes, and that is 30 miles for 74. The point is, I should not have to deal with a game of hide and seek occurring in my lobby or parental shouts of, "No more papers and no more staples," from the business center.

Of course, it was not until the father with a beer in a hand who got annoyed and told the kids to return to the lounge. The juvenile version of the most dangerous game was halted, and for once I say some genuine attempt to parent.

This all reminds me of a morning at my retail job where alarms for expensive items kept going off as parents let their children roam the store. Management did not approve of my suggestion, but they seemed to enjoy the idea of cutting off a finger of anyone who trips an alarm that would prevent Venom from ruling over Eddie Brock. It is not like I am asking for a hand.

This practice would make screenings and interviews easier. If someone is only missing a pinkie, no big deal, we all make mistakes, and we will know that they learned from it. Now if they are down to one or none ring fingers, you know you will at least have to be patient with them. Otherwise, here is to hoping an elementary P.E. coach took the initiative to show them how to throw a fast ball and something off speed.

I am not that twisted. How dare I even contemplate not allowing everyone to partake in our national past time.

On the other hand, maybe I should consider allowing the removal of their weaker hands index finger. They may become healthier since they can no longer use the L (or R) triggers on a video game controller. If you cannot waste your time with Playstation, you should use it to play outside.

The downside to that, I have too many relatives that the outdoors have take finger portions from. And that is on my dad's, the genius (not hyperbole), side of the family alone.

Also, typing would be ruined with this plan. If only the pinkie was not responsible for the letter "A."

Regardless, I wonder if I can somehow get the guests' paper shredder to be locked in the on position. If you put a sign above it, surely the hotel cannot be held liable.

But, I digress, because I know people avoid reading if they can. If only we could mandate customers who press yes on the credit card application to complete the application. That will teach them. Or drive me nuts since I will have to read all the details of the application to them.

Lets face it, I am going to end up being driven insane or taking the wheel and driving off a cliff. At least I do not have to be worried about being caught off guard. And I will have all my fingers, so you'll have to feel sorry for me.