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Saturday, January 19, 2019

8/16/09: Boots are for snow. Not dumb bitches.

Current mood: tired (The Lost Details of Myspace)

"Don't sit there because there because of the vent, the air it blows makes it too cold."

No, this is not a commentary about the lack of adequate heating in state-funded college establishments. This is a commentary about snow boots as fashion.

Yes, I know when you think young coeds, you think fluffy. Maybe not, but fluffy is associated with cute, and college chicks are cute.

Perhaps cute isn't the right word. The barely legal damsels are usually hot. No, I think cute is the right word. With the knowledge most teenagers gain from high school, and the social discouragement of the female quest to become wise, the air-headed comments released from the second hole can either be pitiful, or responded with, "Oh..cute."

Out of curiosity girls, what is the orifice order?

So fluffy equals cute.

Now that that is established, it seems that more than just for these young women wear fluffy winter boots. Except that they wear them when it's forty degrees out.

Is there snow at 40 degrees? No, and screw all you Coloradans who say otherwise. Wearing winter boots are like carrying a lap dog in a purse.

Damn Paris Hilton for trying to destroy the leash industry in the name of her handbags. You're a rich bitch. You don't have to be creative. You just have to show off your vag for the fine suitors looking to climb the social ladder. It's your fault the class system doesn't work.

Paris, not many people have figured out their role in society, but yours is defined. Stick to it to let others live the American dream via designer fabric totes.

Sorry, for the rant, let us return to the subject of boots from the second most hated Paris. Or dare I say Parisians...sorry, sorry, back to foot wear (oh the resistance I must show to avoid a Sarah Jessica Parker joke).

The ideal time to wear winter boots is the winter. A time where all boots are created equal. Thank you clouds for only attacking the deserved. I now know that Bangladesh was asking for it.

But will we see the boots after the first true accumulation? The answer is no. Why would anyone want to see $80+ shoes dirtied and/or ruined?

I do, because I think these girls deserve it. What kind of fashion sense do these wenches have? There has to be more practical autumn decor.

If I can't stop these girls from doubling the workloads of the children at sweatshops, then at least make everything match. Weather does not justify contrast.

If you are going to wear fluffy boots, then at least have a matching parka. Or the Santa skirts...those short...oh so short, naughty, but nice Santa skirts.

Then we will have a market for boner hiding pants, so another will have a shot at the dream that the founding fathers forged.

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