WWE Network: Customer Service Worse than AT&T

Title based on "Business Insider." I decided it was better to use a reputable source instead of a Jon Stewart joke about Arby's. WWE's customer service is better than Burger Kings if it any consolation.

Four days off in a row. Four days off that didn't cost me money. Four day of awesome indie wrestling and "The Walking Dead" binge watching. Four days of losing touch and losing satirical inspiration.

Yes, I do have an Apple TV for "Game of Thrones," but you can't expect me to focus on the news of the world that's free with the devise (not to be confused with the Queen album "News of the World) when there is an unopened PSP to dick around with in the daytime hours. Curse stupid modern Wifi...scratch that... curse stupid Comcast. I got to maintain some semblance of my chord cutter visage.

Aside from finding distractions from the news, what is there to joke about? The tragic plane crash? The persecution of Bowe Bergdahl, a soldier that used his reasoning to object the evils of the previous Presidential administration's suggestions? Why is mentioning that Ted Cruz's nationality off limits?

I think the news is the actual distraction. Not having cable TV prevents me from channel surfing. There are no loud mouths or ridiculous headlines that make me shout "what the fuck" and place the remote down to get riled up.

It seems anger is the only method of expression that we understand. Or I'm just thinking like Vince McMahon since that seems to dictate how he books and how his company continues to ignore data and still sends me request to watch Wrestlemania for $9.99.

The data:

• He didn't renew this month, it must be because he forgot. If only we were confident enough in our product to just assume our customers will renew like successful services like Netflix and Hulu.
• He sent us an e-mail saying he won't renew the product until he is rewarded for his year of service. Is it our fault that he had to be renew his subscription to get uninterrupted service and pay for our most insulting pay-per-view?

As Paul Heyman has said, if you're not sold on the pay-per-view, you're not going to be. The problem is the people who cancelled the WWE Network because of Wrestlemania 31's main event can't be sold on their Super Bowl. They need to be bought.

Or at least not bugged about how we need their lackluster product. Netflix never e-mailed me for my patronage whenever I cut off their streaming service. They're either confident in their product, or they thought, "at least he didn't cut off the DVD service."

Perhaps WWE doesn't want to be the next Blockbuster. Blockbuster was the first DVD-by-mail provider I tried, and their service was a nightmare. But, when I complained about feeling robbed, they offered me two rentals at their stores (I think that was more than the cost of the monthly subscription). Did I resubscribe, no, but they knew I should at least go to their store to spend money.

This may lead one to say I'm too harsh on the network, demanding the $20 they made me spend. My request should have only been a mug and balloons for the kids ("Ghostbusters 2"). The problem with that concept is that they made me spend it as they gave it away to Moms who wanted to shut their ignorant kids up for free.

• Survivor Series '14: I receive an e-mail before the free to newbies month saying my commitment would end on December 1.
• Royal Rumble '15: I had to renew on January 24 (like all day one subscribers) the Royal Rumble was January 25, and the free month for new subscribers was announced after they fucked up the main event was.

I guess getting the pubeless (I should say pube-lacking since too many ladies are going pube-free) to be John Cena and Roman Reign fans is worth screwing over those who wanted their new venture to succeed since day one. You may think cable companies do the same thing to the current subscribers, but that's not true. New customers still have to pay something to get hooked on "True Detective." They may get the HBO for free, but they still have to pay $50 bucks to get brainwashed and berated by Bill O'Reilly and Dennis Miller.

Maybe if WWE Network had a JBL hosted news show, #CancelWWENetwork wouldn't have been trending. Or maybe Vince should just acknowledge he thinks he knows better. My friend who was hassling me about getting Wrestlemania this year told me to accept that, and ignore Mantour, Katie Vick, Michael Cole's Wrestlemania moment, Bill Demott, Doc Chris Amon, etc.

Some people need to be yelled at. We could go into other reasons I know that to be true, but I dodged that bullet this far into the blog, may as well holster that round till next week.