WWE Network: Customer Service Worse than AT&T

Title based on "Business Insider." I decided it was better to use a reputable source instead of a Jon Stewart joke about Arby's. WWE's customer service is better than Burger Kings if it any consolation.

Four days off in a row. Four days off that didn't cost me money. Four day of awesome indie wrestling and "The Walking Dead" binge watching. Four days of losing touch and losing satirical inspiration.

Yes, I do have an Apple TV for "Game of Thrones," but you can't expect me to focus on the news of the world that's free with the devise (not to be confused with the Queen album "News of the World) when there is an unopened PSP to dick around with in the daytime hours. Curse stupid modern Wifi...scratch that... curse stupid Comcast. I got to maintain some semblance of my chord cutter visage.

Aside from finding distractions from the news, what is there to joke about? The tragic plane crash? The persecution of Bowe Bergdahl, a soldier that used his reasoning to object the evils of the previous Presidential administration's suggestions? Why is mentioning that Ted Cruz's nationality off limits?

I think the news is the actual distraction. Not having cable TV prevents me from channel surfing. There are no loud mouths or ridiculous headlines that make me shout "what the fuck" and place the remote down to get riled up.

It seems anger is the only method of expression that we understand. Or I'm just thinking like Vince McMahon since that seems to dictate how he books and how his company continues to ignore data and still sends me request to watch Wrestlemania for $9.99.

The data:

• He didn't renew this month, it must be because he forgot. If only we were confident enough in our product to just assume our customers will renew like successful services like Netflix and Hulu.
• He sent us an e-mail saying he won't renew the product until he is rewarded for his year of service. Is it our fault that he had to be renew his subscription to get uninterrupted service and pay for our most insulting pay-per-view?

As Paul Heyman has said, if you're not sold on the pay-per-view, you're not going to be. The problem is the people who cancelled the WWE Network because of Wrestlemania 31's main event can't be sold on their Super Bowl. They need to be bought.

Or at least not bugged about how we need their lackluster product. Netflix never e-mailed me for my patronage whenever I cut off their streaming service. They're either confident in their product, or they thought, "at least he didn't cut off the DVD service."

Perhaps WWE doesn't want to be the next Blockbuster. Blockbuster was the first DVD-by-mail provider I tried, and their service was a nightmare. But, when I complained about feeling robbed, they offered me two rentals at their stores (I think that was more than the cost of the monthly subscription). Did I resubscribe, no, but they knew I should at least go to their store to spend money.

This may lead one to say I'm too harsh on the network, demanding the $20 they made me spend. My request should have only been a mug and balloons for the kids ("Ghostbusters 2"). The problem with that concept is that they made me spend it as they gave it away to Moms who wanted to shut their ignorant kids up for free.

• Survivor Series '14: I receive an e-mail before the free to newbies month saying my commitment would end on December 1.
• Royal Rumble '15: I had to renew on January 24 (like all day one subscribers) the Royal Rumble was January 25, and the free month for new subscribers was announced after they fucked up the main event was.

I guess getting the pubeless (I should say pube-lacking since too many ladies are going pube-free) to be John Cena and Roman Reign fans is worth screwing over those who wanted their new venture to succeed since day one. You may think cable companies do the same thing to the current subscribers, but that's not true. New customers still have to pay something to get hooked on "True Detective." They may get the HBO for free, but they still have to pay $50 bucks to get brainwashed and berated by Bill O'Reilly and Dennis Miller.

Maybe if WWE Network had a JBL hosted news show, #CancelWWENetwork wouldn't have been trending. Or maybe Vince should just acknowledge he thinks he knows better. My friend who was hassling me about getting Wrestlemania this year told me to accept that, and ignore Mantour, Katie Vick, Michael Cole's Wrestlemania moment, Bill Demott, Doc Chris Amon, etc.

Some people need to be yelled at. We could go into other reasons I know that to be true, but I dodged that bullet this far into the blog, may as well holster that round till next week.

Fear and Loathing Between 8 to 11 p.m.

I think this blog's title is pretty clever based on when it's being written. Clever enough that it may get some people checking it out when I hashtag RAW it on Monday. But I still need to deliver a take on wrestling to avoid disappointing a those who clicked on a link to a blog that is more self-deprecating than a Colt Cabana podcast.

So, my new hours allow me to skip setting an alarm. I wake up at 1 p.m. cleaning up and prepping lunch takes me to 2 p.m., so all I really have time to watch is an episode of "Archer." Without having eight hours of mind-numbing spreadsheets to read through, I'm not getting to listen to all the podcast that I needed to get through the day. Hence this show is what has given me a take on the WWE Hall of Fame.

Can we induct Chris Benoit if we inducted him as Chris Benoit-Balls? I think that shows the WWE's shame in him while the fans of the best wrestling and those who were inspired as performers at least get the solace that he isn't forgotten. And we can all agree he was a douche the last weekend of his life because I don't think we'd attach balls to anyone who wasn't that.

Or can we differentiate the wrestler and reportedly good man for 39 years and some change from the monster he ended up becoming. Chris Benoit goes in the hall of fame. Chris Benoit-Balls gets placed in all the articles written about the man's final hours. It's kind of like Flash vs. Reverse Flash.

Personally, I think Benoit-Balls should refer to anything after the purchase of WCW in 2001, when Vince could have gone PG to begin with and limit the number of concussions that drove Benoit...Balls mad.

See the conclusion to this blog series at Rip 'Em System Tumblr.

Johnny 5 vs. Chappie. Ong-bak vs. Hugh Morris. Bullet Club vs. Weird Al

There is not really an issue when it comes to Pro Wrestling Tees removing these shirts at the request of New Japan Pro Wrestling. You cannot afford to lose your biggest seller and why should partners (the other wrestlers of the website) try to take money from each other. My issue comes from Colt Cabana complaining about parody tees on his podcast.

Perhaps I misinterpreted Colt's comments on the Cody Deaner episode of the "Art of Wrestling," about how some people were trying to make money with their own "Club" shirts, but had stopped. My assumption was that it was about the "Brass Ring Club." It just came across to me as sour grapes at WWE which was a first in my opinion from Cabana. Or he refuses to stand idly by as the little guy is stepped on. The little guy being One Hour Tees and their contracts with Austin, Jericho, Punk, the Kliq, etc. Not the second biggest wrestling promotion in the world.

Read the rest of this blog and other stories at Main Event of the Dead.com and determine if this thought process can be translated into a B-movie comedy about pro-wrestling zombies.

It's Not the WWE Universe, It's the WWE Black Hole.

The thought came to mind that it may have been better to call WWE a pit and go on a Game of Thrones "The Ladder" tribute, but with the current main event picture, there's no figurative ladder to base it on.

So I have a friend who insist that I will watch Wrestle Mania 31. My manager has just been informed of my availability the week of March 29, so the gauntlet has been thrown down.

Did Vince just want to out do the NFL when in comes to dropping name...portions? I didn't want to say name dropping, but since Mr. Stewart dropped the surname Leibowitz, the pun is unavoidable. My suggestion is that with Super Bowl 50 dropping the Roman numerals for the simple Arabic version (how soon till they're renamed "Freedom Numbers"), the McMahons decided that they don't even need numbers to be the bigger event. They feel they can do it with unhappy fans and main event talent, so why would they need numbers?

I'm amazed I was able to actually make that tangent mean something. It indicates the lack of attention the WWE constantly shows which will probably result in their subscriptions never topping 1 million. This is not a statement that should indicate they will not gain new consumers for this product, but their arrogance will keep turning fans like myself off, so they've hit their ceiling.

Unless it's the new babysitter (if I interpreted my friend, who has a son named Christian Blade's usage usage). A babysitter with the voice of Brian Pillman. How many adults actually set parental controls on their Xbox?

If you think I'm being ridiculous at all, I'm not being very good at it. If this was a display of ridiculousness, it would probably hurt the interest in my pro-wrestling zombie-comedy "Main Event of the Dead." So let me insist that you request a treatment of the screenplay by e-mailing russthebus07@gmail.com for proof of that my ridiculous capabilities are worthy of some promotion (promotional suggestions would be greatly appreciated).

It may also discredit the nature of my series of "No Holds Barred" at the Rip 'Em System Tublr. When are the "Wrestling Compadres," going to do their NHB-themed episode that they promised? With the crap that's going down in the five-week build for Mania, surely that's more interesting (we know they'll drop the ball at least one Monday [Wiz Khalifa]).

Netflix is a product that offers something for all 300-million citizens of this country, and they only have 10 million subscribers. If anything, I should credit the McMahons that they have 1 millions subscribers when their audience is only a 100th of the other over-the-top services. Still, the Network is further evidence of the family's arrogance. All it really is a claim of "FIRSTIES!"

But what I claim to be arrogance may be a failure to understand how economics determine quality. I'm hoping this is my friend's stance for being a member of the WWE Universe. He has a BS in Econ. Let the following recollection of his attempt to inform me that I cannot resist the gravitational pull of the Universe.

See the conclusion to this blog series at Rip 'Em System Tumblr.