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Monday, December 30, 2019

MFK: Hypocrisy, Harry Potter, Hockey (Delusions, Earnings, McNuggets)

*Date this blog entry was started, December 30, 2019

I suppose I need a little chaos. That would make being a hypocrite a little easier. My dreams seemed to be themed around a need to just go nuts. Some play into my desire to be involved with the wrestling business. If I just abandoned any sense of normalcy or security, the world could be mine regardless of being 40 and having little cardio.

A coworker at the day job said he was going over a list of "straight edge" celebrities. I cannot say anything bad about them, especially the athletes, provided they do not make that their identity (i.e. I am better than you). Before I actually started living like an adult, my alcohol consumption was rare. But, I appreciated the freedom to have a drink, so there was a fifth of vodka in my closet incase I felt the urge to indulge. At least in my early 20's, that was something I did not need in my life, but I would rather have it than wish for it. Hence, my feeling that I am walking hypocrisy.

Is it weakness or just boredom? With my retail job seemingly scared to schedule me after the 19 day stretch (I should check the deal of the day to see if they can trap me for a few hours tonight like they did last week), the holiday season has kind of felt like a winter break. There is no way that I should have the freedom to watch both nights of Wrestle Kingdom live or get to go to a Saturday poker night.

The winter break metaphor (All similes are metaphors.) is probably derived from working with mostly 20 somethings for my primary income. My retail job has me as one of the older non-pensioners there, but we are all the same age due to nerd culture. I may not be a hypocrite, but when dealing with a crew of non-Star Wars fanatics, I think my true mental maturity is coming out since I am not treated like the old man there.

The only thing that leaves me feeling old is the "Harry Potter" fandom they seem to all share. Is it because "Star Wars" was all about 20 somethings saving the world instead of kids. Since they were kids when they read them (except for my manager, two years my junior), J.K. Rowling's cliché and contrived tales were more relatable? Probably. I did dig "The Chronicles of Narnia" more than "The Holy Bible". And I dig the "Fantastic Beast" stories more because the lack of minors.

Why talk about kids stuff? Because that was part of our trip to see the Chicago Blackhawks play the Columbus Blue Jackets. My better quarter (Eve the Cat gets half.) took note of some that I do not know if they were there or not (She would not go into detail, but I may have exposed too much.) but security was overly concerned about the ones who were, but not really in abundance, on the away fans corner of the crowd.

I heard the cussing and wee drunkenness as early as the first period, but I assumed it had to be the home crowd. It is usually day drinkers at Wrigley, not the away fans from Milwaukee (Who have a reputation to uphold. Now Bostonians on the other hand [the Irish].). Once the play got exciting in the third period, there was no question who were spouting the obesities. But it was the fuck'n third!

After the drama of the final seconds in overtime and the premature release of hometown victory streamers did security look to be tough. I do not drink heavily at spontaneous sporting events, but I wanted to call out the security guy by name after a few guys in racist sweaters (My stuff only has the tomahawks logo.) may have hopped around 360 degrees in front of their seats with middle fingers raised at the heartbroken crowd. These hometown crew (literal, not the fans) were taking it a little too personally. Do not hide behind the children.

Youngsters may deserve a little harshness. We needed to feed my nephew, but Long John Silver's was closed when we determined that. If Ohio wants to be in the Midwest, just adapt the Central Time Zone. It is bad enough to not let us by Yuengling on a Sunday or sell it in our time zone.

So it was McDonald's again since he will not eat fast food anywhere else, the little pescatarian. This also demonstrated how much of a child I truly am since I only eat the nuggets. I have found mayo too many times to trust them to deliver me a plain chicken sandwich.

Give it 40 years and parents will once again struggle with frustration with McDonald's menus. I was fortunate to not be placed in the hands of other parents at age three, so there were not many, "You will eat the burger and like it," situations. Now with vegetarian/vegan children, like my nephew, they will not respond to the nugget that saved my childhood. Conservative parents will be dealing with the pouts of those who want to save the planet from the curse that is meat.

the whores brats and politicians muggles will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no."

Hypocrisy.

Bleacher Report
https://bleacherreport.com/articles/672959-2011-nhl-playoffs-can-the-chicago-blackawks-answer-5-questions-in-game-5
Bleacher Report

Truck Stop DVD - "Countdown" Good, but Not the "Sudden Death" Remake We Were Hoping for.

Uploaded by Niko N
Dolph Ziggler the Movie: Good, but Not Title or 3,000 Screen Ready

Finally, my wrestling-themed Tublr (Rip 'Em System) can promote my movie rantings. If only I could have debuted my Danny Glover, Rutger Hauer, Darryl Hanna, and Michael Madsen masochistic experience by comparing that Stephen Baldwin to the bloodless era of WWE. A missed metaphor?

After the failure that was "No Holds Barred", WWE has yet to make movies to truly promote their primary product. It anything, these films are just opportunities for Vince McMahon to display what would be too much for even the Attitude Era: The horror franchises that fit Kane's gimmick; Rape being the ultimate heel move; Gimmick matches based around murder.

"Countdown" promoted itself as the first film to include the product. It was supposed to be "Sudden Death" at a house show. Since that feature was one of my favorite Jean-Claude Van Dam flicks, Dolph Ziggler's first starring vehicle's premise had potential.

Thursday, December 26, 2019

Contention, Toy Envy, and Blood Transfusions for Xmas

*Time of this passage: December 23, 2019

The last weekend was sort of a return to normalcy for me. "Star Wars" movie  and "AEW: Revolution" tickets on Thursday, 12-hour workday for Friday, Rivermen and strippers on Saturday; it was all the good things that I had left behind close to four years ago.

Fortunately, I cannot complain about Sunday in East-Central Illinois. Christmas with the better quarter's (Eva the Cat gets half) was a nice affair. The siblings did not go overboard with the gifts, the father seemed to have dug The Police Funko Pop! line up, and the little ones seemed to love their stuffed vintage Ty cats. They enjoyed them to the point that I was sort of regretting buying them. The youngest was chewing on a face while the biggest cuddled hers as she wondered round the residence with Monical's Pizza on a plate with their special dressing.

And I have been accused of being too rough on Shadow, Sherlock, Pearl, Pounce, Mercutio, Hobbes, and Sox. If you do the math, they had a life span of three years a piece, but they were treated as pseudo-pets not toys. I am not replacing these cats annually. If I did, it would eventually kill me to see them "grow" up from them. That insult to felines would by on my head.

The only controversy over the weekend (a side from me sneaking off to Big Al's when my girlfriend said she was going to bed before I got to the I-74 junction and in turn a lecture of what she would consider to be "okay" if we became legally responsible for each other) was when my girlfriend gave her mom an art print of Toothless from the "How to Train Your Dragon" franchise.
"Russ just bought the picture."
And helped pick it out (it was my third from a Wizard World B2G1) and framed it (speaking of responsibilities). If I go into the details of the frame price and make, I would just sound petty.

It is tough to write when you cannot really complain about anything. I would have liked more (scheduled) hours at the retailer this weekend (I had only requested Saturday evening off.), but why trade that for a sense of holiday sanity? Do I have things I want to say about "The Rise of Skywalker"? Yes, but do they matter four days since the debut? With AEW taking Christmas off (stupid "A Christmas Story" marathon), what do I have to say about pro wrestling right now. Maybe I should wear myself out and head to the AAW's Windy City Classic the night before a Columbus Blue Jackets road trip on Sunday.

Being content brings contention.

There is still 90 minutes left in the shift, and I spent too much money on iTunes last night. I am planning on skipping "Monday Night Raw" and I doubt "The Daily Show" will be new, so I may have a movie review. Which brings me to something to be ticked about. DVD.com waited till today to ship out my latest DVD, "The Room".

Friday was a business day. "Dr. Chopper" made it back to you on Wednesday.
"Your tearing me apart Netflix!"
*Time of original posting: December 26, 2019

Cannot complain about the Holidays much. I guess Jesus is all right with me after winning 40 dollars from children playing "Left, Right, Center". Since I made it out of my girlfriend's aunt's house alive, it is great to find out that some children are being raised well. My dad's family's paternal parenting approach of never giving a sucker a break must be universal. In other words, Dad's chess record against me is best compared to the Globetrotters versus Generals. No wonder he gifted me a green jersey last year.

Pardon the lack of a festive nature, but I am glad it is over. There is no way I will be tricked into working at my retailer and abandoning the previously discussed Milla Jovovich movie night. A deal of a day like five-dollar video games will not exist for a while, so my accommodating managers cannot talk me into covering when I stop in to check out the selection (which was none come 6:45 pm).

Of course the cats run out of food the day before my folks give us Petsmart gift cards. The bowls had food, but would they eat around the bare spot?

Speaking of other critics, there was being judged from the better quarter over searching for what I thought was an already released Pop! figure.
"Why are you shopping for yourself on Christmas Eve?", she asked.
"Simon Le Bon is for Mom!", I obviously exclaimed.
Yes, I bought Sansa Stark and Galactus (three for $25), but I needed to be prepared to deal with toy envy when it comes to all the cool stuff the nephew was going to get. My parents have moved on from slipping an action figure into the work slacks.
"Are you okay, Russ?"
"Yes. When you buy figures for kids, you expect them to be taken out of the box."
It would have been nice not to have seen Dad dispose of the boxes, but I suppose I should have been a sleep. But, then I would not have gotten to taunt the girlfriend by delaying our Christmas celebration via an afternoon nap. I can deal with a few boxes being thrown away. There was no way to past those Pops! as mint.

So as long as those kids do not out live me, there will be no need to worry about those collectables again. That is how to set the bar for a good holiday and many to come. Guess I better start donating plasma to ensure that. They both have to have a little bit of A in them.

And a goal for 2020 has been set.
STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER’s Dark Rey And Knights of Ren Are Getting Funkos
Nerdist - STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER’s Dark Rey And Knights of Ren Are Getting Funkos
https://nerdist.com/article/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalkers-dark-rey-funko-pop/

Serial Experiments Lain: The Ideal Siri




Serial Experiments Lain: Navi

Lain - image from front of VHS box.Genre: Sci-Fi (Dramatic) 
Length: 100 minutes (4 OVAs)
Audience: 16 Up

Opinion: No one can deny this series' beauty on virtually all levels.

This is a review of the subtitlede VHS release.

©1998 Triangle/Pioneer LDC, Inc.


Thursday, December 19, 2019

How to Watch "Star Wars" - The MCU Order

It is safe to say that I am a "Star Wars" nut who has attempted to express my love for the franchise at fanatical levels. Fanatical in the sense, that if you look at my theatrical viewing history (when I have been single), you can see that I am very forgiving of what many fans will consider low points.
  • Episode IV: A New Hope (1982 reissue): 1
  • Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1982 reissue): 1
  • Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983 original release): 11. I do not know what that says about my parents. They always "complained", but never denied this three year-old.
  • Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1985 reissue): 2
  • A New Hope: Special Edition: 5. It made Spanish class on Monday's easy. What did you do last weekend (en espanol)?
  • Empire Strikes Back Special Edition: 2
  • Return of the Jedi Special Edition: 1. I then turned 17, so the world of R-Rated cinema took my attention away.
  • Episode I: The Phantom Menace: 12ish (3 viewing including premier and 2 opening day). All the classic movies of 99 came out in the fall, so do not hold this against me. I saw "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" instead of "Wild Wild West" opening weekend, so I deserve some credit despite "Phantom" being my regular Saturday night thing. My dedication to the Church of Lucas needed be expressed. Thank God for "ECW on TNN" to change this up.
  • Episode II: Attack of the Clones: 3 (including premier). Bad acting is worse than child acting in terms of Anakin Skywalker.
  • Episode III: Revenge of the Sith: 2 (including premier). I was drinking six nights a week and had lost my virginity just seven months before the release. Temptations man.
  • The Clone Wars: 1 (opening weekend). This viewing inspired the opening scene of my second untitled screenplay draft. Still drinking six nights a week.
  • The Phantom Menace 3-D: 1 (premier). Was it out long enough to have seen it more than the midnight premier?
  • Episode VII: The Force Awakens: 5 (including premier and the next showing). After this feature, I have been with my better quarter (Eva the Cat gets half) for the last three releases.
That is 47 viewings, over half of them occurred in my adulthood. I may not be able to call myself an expert or maester like the crew on Binge Mode since I have yet to play all the video games and felt the Legends books pre-Phantom's release were just cash grabs. My fandom defines me as much as religion defines anyone not in the clergy who tries to be holier than thou. Justifies the imperial emblem tattooed on my chest.

What the Disney purchase of Lucasfilm has done is allowing me to become an addict to the fandom. A new movie a year to get pumped about, I find the sensations to be awesome. But what am I to do with this two-year gap that is about to occur?

Once "Rise" leaves theaters in March, the jonesing will begin. All because Disney dropped the ball on how to release these features. They thought they had another Marvel Cinematic Universe and it did not turn out that way, so it has to be restructured. If it is going to be restructured, why not base it off the MCU, and start doing the yearly reissues to avoid the goosebumps based on this.

Everybody wonders, with the mixed qualities among the "Star Wars" features, how is the proper way to introduce them. If we spread the quality about like Disney did once they had complete control of the universe, I think everyone will get over dialogue like "Are you an angel?"

Star Wars: A New Hope

(The Avengers [MCU 2012])
This means we are going to put "A New Hope" in the spot where "The Avengers" was. "Iron Man" was excellent, but the four films between that 2008 film and the 2012 did not feel like must view features. "The Incredible Hulk" was quick to include the Tony Stark cameo in TV ads. A liberal cynic is not going to immediately run to "Captain America: The First Avenger". Does it makes sense to incorporate gods into this universe? I think we were all just accepting "The Avengers" as being de facto "Iron Man 3". We enjoyed all the characters in that film, so we became invested in the MCU at that point, not anytime before.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

(Iron Man 3/Thor: The Dark World [2013])
2013 Marvel may have been the weakest year. "Iron Man 3" seemed like a forced conclusion to his story and "Thor: The Dark World" is not very memorable (especially after "Ragnarok"). We were still high from "The Avengers" though, and I think we would overlook a lesser flick at this point. I will venture to say that "Phantom Menace" is better than these two MCU entries, so my MCU Star Wars format is doing better than the structure I was inspired by. And we are still only doing a film a year at this point.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back 

(Captain America: The Winter Soldier/Guardians of the Galaxy [2014])
2014 may have been the strongest year for the MCU. "Guardians" is pretty much just a ship full of Han Solos, so it is a cool parallel to place the most Solo-centric portion of the Saga in this spot. "Winter Soldier" is also the first film to add stakes to the MCU after the thrill-ride that was "The Avengers". "Empire" is all about stakes.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

(Avengers: Age of Ultron/Ant-Man [2015])
As I am typing this up, it seems like I am inadvertently taking Game Radar's Alternating Order. I think the problem with that is, who wants to watch "Jedi" before "Sith", regardless if "Sith" is the strongest prequel? "Age of Ultron" was the weakest of the "Avengers" films and "Ant-Man" is hard to take as seriously as the rest of the MCU. It is a good time to return to the prequels.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

(Captain America: Civil War/Doctor Strange [2016])
It turns out to be a nice parallel between the two universes. Obi-Wan/Anakin Skywalker break up like the Avengers and things should get really dark in the "Strange" franchise.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

(Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2/Spider-Man: Homecoming/Thor: Ragnarok [2017])
Everything was pretty solid from December 2016 to November 2017. Why change that?

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

(Black Panther/Avengers: Infinity War/Ant-Man and the Wasp [2018])
I doubt anyone would have too much of an issue with three films being viewed before a pivotal one. Look at how many were between "Infinity War" and "Age of Ultron".

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

(Captain Marvel/Avengers: Endgame/Spider-Man: Far From Home [2019])
Pivotal films come in pairs.

Solo: A Star Wars Story

The problem that "Solo" had was that it came out six months after the most divisive film in the Saga. The idiots needed at least another six months and assurances from J.J. Abrams of quality to come.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Neon Genesis Evangelion - The Alpha of Anime TV, Omega of Arguments






Neon Genesis Evangelion -
Collection 0:1
Neon Genesis Evangelion
© GAINAX / Project Eva. - TV Tokyo

Genre: Science fiction (Giant Robots) Length: 120 minutes (4 episodes) Audience Age: 13+

Opinion: I still have yet to see an anime series superior to Evangelion.

This is a review of the DVD release.

This series maybe the best known anime TV series that is not on Cartoon Network.

I know this statement may sound bold, but I still have yet to see an anime series superior to "Evangelion". When I first started collecting anime (spring/summer 1997), this was the only title that mattered to the critics I followed, and since I liked "Robotech" and "Voltron" (both series always seem to have questionable video distribution status until Robotech was recently acquired by ADV Films) I figured I would give this $25 a VHS, giant robot themed series a chance. A year later, I had all 13 tapes, the Taiwanese bootleg of the first soundtrack, a set of imported key chains, and Chinese-subtitled versions of the first two theatrical films. As far as I am concerned, this dramatic science fiction series which mixes the classic Japanese standby of giant beings using a city as an arena and elements of the book of Revelations, is the best science-fiction series ever made for television (Star Trek, "Doctor Who", and "Babylon 5" fans who object to this statement can reach me at bitemescifigeeks@animeflow.cubs). 

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

90 min. DVD dot Com - "Dr. Chopper" and the Sad Reality of Costas Mandylor and Christmas

*Time of this passage: December 17, 2019.

I try watching "NBC Nightly News" nightly, but I think all my energy from this year has been burned out.

Girlfriend: What's your long-sleeve, button-up shirt size?

Me: Let me look at my KMFDM paraphernalia.

Girlfriend: Would you put patches on one?

Me: I have one I was planning to do that to.

Girlfriend: Crumb. I will tell Mom that won't work for Christmas.

Me: I'm a fuck'n adult. I don't need gifts.

How do I put the façade of giving a shit about the holidays for a living? I guess 17 years in the customer service field has just wired me that way. What other things will I do for money? I am open to suggestions. The life experience I have makes the range of options pretty vast, at least known.


As a typed all that, the solution to why I put up with replying "Merry Christmas" to the constituents of the traitorous Rodney Davis could be a passive aggressive outlet of cursing the season to my non-furry loved one. Perhaps I should turn this into a pro-atheist rant.

Jesus sucks the life out of you under false pretenses. Take it back. The worst that could happen is Satan will accept you. Have you seen or read "Lucifer"?

The holiday sucking my energy means it is difficult to pay attention when I am not on the clock. Lester Holt words are going in one ear and out the other. Hence, no basis to satire...aside from that anti-religion bit. On the flipside, it is giving me more time to focus on the nerdier stuff. Sadly, the nerdier stuff is seeping into my dreams.

The wrestling stuff in my sleep is still there. Sadly AEW failed to deliver when it comes to those materializing. Tony Khan just does not care about the plight of those in his hometown (Did he know about my Newcastle United FC tattoo?). "Star Wars" buzz may be overtaking it. Ironically, I dreamt about asking my mom for "Jedi Fallen Order" for Xmas. She wanted ideas, but I do not want to be a hypocrite. So, yeah...I am out $40 bucks this week.

Since I am letting my better quarter (Eva the Cat still gets a half) use the kitchen to bake and inevitably leave a mess for me to clean, buying a video game on sale is a deserved treat. And "Star Wars" has given me inspiration for another blog post. It was going to be featured in this one, but after my holiday disparagement opening, the post would be too long. If I do not post about my experience watching "Dr. Chopper", what was the point of it?

Really, what was the point of "Dr. Chopper" existing?

In the late 1980's, premier plastic surgeon and custom-motorcycle enthusiast Dr. Fielding went off the deep end in his search for immortality. Instead of modifying bodies to extend life, he decided to just take the best parts off healthy persons.

With a little surgical wizardry, he would replace his decrepit body parts with the parts he swiped. He thought this would allow him to live forever. Once the authorities caught wind of this, the man who became better known as Dr. Chopper vanished without a trace. But over the next 20 years, Lake Tatonka has been littered with loose body parts.

It seems law enforcement had deemed that the responsibility solving the case belongs to drunk and suicidal Forest Ranger Terrell to figure out. Hopefully, he can do that before Nick and his fiancé Jessica take their friends up to check out the cabin his late mother had left him.

Hopes that "Dr. Chopper" might be a good B-movie diminished when it was obvious that this was a direct from VHS tape transfer to the DVD format. If that seems nonsensical, let me rephrase it this way. York Entertainment produced all the VHS copies of this video, and then they connected a VHS player via composite cables to a DVD recorder to create a master DVD to distribute. I had put just as much, if not more, in creating bootlegs to tape-trade at indie wrestling shows.

At least the production of this B-movie (I cannot call it no budget because of the lead actor casting.) means I can definitely distribute "Main Event of the Dead" (ask for a treatment of this wrestling zom-com script by emailing russthebus07@gmail.com) once we complete the production. I guess that made it worth 86 minutes of boredom "Dr. Chopper" provided.

Sorry to point out the boredom. That is a bit of a spoiler because the trailer for a similar York Entertainment film, "Corpses" with Jeff Fahey, seemed to have some potential. The physical picture sucked, but it does not mean that the script and acting would be devoid of charm. Even the credits being just VHS-C font (made famous by "America's Funniest Home Vides") on a black screen could not take that potential away.

The brief, nudity-free lesbian scene in an actual trailer does that.

Once we start the murder spree, you find yourself watching the least effort that you will ever see in a B-movie. Somewhat successful actors like Costas Mandylor ("Picket Fences", "Saw (3-7)") and Chelsey Crisp ("Fresh of the Boat", regular TV guest star) at least show that they can act, but the lack of creative kills, special effects that are nothing more than moist Halloween decorations, and an overall lack of direction makes me certain that the chopper was where all the budget went.

The story feels like it was a poorly constructed one act play. Ironically, a high school stage is where the climax occurs. My biggest issue with adaptations of plays to screen is that the dialogue tends to be structured to be heard with no interruption. Adaptations can work, but the story or the dialogue has to be interesting. This is not "The Philadelphia Story".

If you had some humorous dialogue and interesting murders, you might have a precursor to "Evil Dead: The Musical". You cannot sell an audience people getting stabbed with no fighting back. Shakespeare would throw poison in to mix things up, Sondheim was a genius, and who does not like man-eating plants. If there was one of these things, I may be sympathetic to "Dr. Chopper". Then I would think about how many bad Costas Mandylor films I have seen.

Mandylor can be a solid character actor, but features never seem to write him that way. I did not mind him as the second Jigsaw, and I cannot say I minded him in the live-action remake of "Fist of the North Star". I am a fan of the "Saw" franchise and will give any Gary Daniels movie a chance. But after sitting through this and "Immortally Yours" (aka "Kiss of the Vampire"), he is just an actor who has no discern for work.

There was at least one name attached with the production of "Immortally Yours" and "Dr. Chopper". Since the production values are damn near the exact same, this indicates that Mandylor does not mind doing shit films. Michael Caine may bad movies, but at least Universal went to the trouble of bringing in as much sea water as possible to the set of "Jaws: The Revenge" to make the feature look authentic. Caine at least requires you to make an effort.

"Dr. Chopper" makes me curse the backwards compatibility of all Blu-ray players. You cannot always count on streaming. Once my VHS player dies, I cannot watch a physical copy of the Sony Distributed Gary Daniels classic "Heatseeker", but DVD.com will have no issue sending me a copy of this piece of garbage. Does that seem right to you (provided you know your opinions of Albert Pyun films do not matter)?

Just because your movie has no production values does not mean you are excused from exerting effort when you film it. "Dr. Chopper" should be watched by the director Lewis Schoenbrun friends and family only. He made a thing that is worth being put on the fridge for a week and then forgotten. This is nothing more than a macaroni painting wanting to be a film. That tells me the world has too much pasta (and they won't share it with me).