"Mutant Chronicles": A Possible "Highlander" Sequel Prototype

The title either screams television pilot of "X-Men" rip off. Is it a coincidence that it came out during the same summer of "Origins: Wolverine"?

"Mutant Chronicles" at least promises the viewers a better cast and no Ryan Reynolds (an actor who had no credibility until "Deadpool"). Also, this cast seems fitting for a sci-fi title. It has Ron Perlman with his primitive look, John Malkovich's eccentricities, and Devon Aoki capitalizing of being the weird Asian chick. The odd one is Thomas Jane and his lack of cinematic success, but when you are the star of "Hunk", your resume screams made for video gold.

Since this DVD is distributed by Magnolia, it will either be a stylized indie look at the apocalypse or what happens when a label needs some mainstream material to A-tier releases. Someone will win with "Mutant Chronicles. Let us hope tat it will be the viewer.

In the not to distant future, four corporations control the world. With the lack of governments to regulate them, every corporate takeover is a hostile one.

During one of these battles, the two sides accidently unearth an ancient mutant civilization. These mutants are pissed and they want to destroy humanity over being imprisoned since the last ice age.

The church that trapped these monsters is ready to abandon the planet, but Brother Samuel (Perlman) is set of fulfilling the prophecy that tells of hope for humanity. Offering evacuation tickets for the families of those who will follow him, he mounts a mercenary force led by the atheistic Captain Hunter (Jane) to destroy the origin of these seemingly invincible enemies.

Some have come for their faith. Others are coming just to fuck shit up. With any luck, these monsters will not be ready for what is about to hit them.

It is great to know that I am not the only one who has studied the flaws of three of the four "Highlander" sequels. "Mutant Chronicles" is a picture with a ridiculous premise. It accepts this and appropriately has faith that it will work. Unlike "Highlander 2, 3 and 5", the plot is defined and just movers forward. No twists, no reminding you what it is, and no responding when you scream bullshit at the flick.

This is an action movie that just moves forward, and since this is made for the video market, this is how you should do it. Unfortunately, the action is not really brilliant, but action is always present, so you start to hope that certain archetypes will make it to the end.

If the story gets off track, it is not afraid to quickly and brutally pulls itself back on course. This is what the essence of independent movies should be whether it a B-movie or art house.

When it comes to the quality of the production, I would place it just above Troma. It is at least Syfy good, but to say that takes away from the indie vibe.

The most disappointing thing about the movie is that it is made from fantasy fans, and to see it get low budget treatment makes one with they just turned it into a PlayStation 2 RPG. This movie is fun, but they should not have wasted a steam-powered jet.

There are a couple more downers about the flick. One of which is Perlman either trying too hard or not hard enough. This is the only way you can explain the on and off Scottish (???) accent. That aspect of an otherwise adequate performance is more depressing than Malkovich's role not requiring any range.

"Mutant Chronicles" is a step, maybe even a leap in the mythological, futuristic apocalyptic genre. It shows that maybe one day, some director will nail it. Still, it is a rather ridiculous premise, and if you do not have the patience or ability to geek out for the entire run time, this may not be for you.

At least its message of faith shines through, so someday, a MacLeod will not have to jump through anymore hoops to save the world. "Mutant Chronicles succeeds as a cheap sci-fi option for those who are scared of what the blockbusters may have messed up this summer (2009).

IMDb.com - Mutant Chronicles (2008)

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0490181/

Starccade and Road Warriors: The Disgruntled's Real World Tag Team Championship

THIS IS A VACANT-FREE LIST. SORRY FOR CHOOSING NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE SPORT'S MOST PROLIFIC CHAMPION.

Beyond wrestling, Vacant has held titles in multiple weight classes in both mixed martial arts and boxing as well as men collegiate sports championships like the 2004 NCAA Division One Football title.

Why the American Wrestling Association Existed:

The National Wrestling Alliance allowed territories to call their top tag team prize "the world championship", so the national and hence international interest was ignored. The World Wide Wrestling Federation fooled around with multiple tag team championships before it became the one best remembered by Demolition's title reign. This is the one place where Verne Gagne had something that the rest of the American wrestling scene did not offer. And it could be said that the belts may have been regional, but this was the first major title the Road Warriors won and where the Road Warrior Pop was born.

1st Real World Tag Team Champions:

AWA's Sheiks (Jerry Blackwell and Ken Patera) - 11/24/1983 to 5/6/84

On November 24, 1983, Ric Flair had won the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. This was the last reign before Hulkamania was born thus the (my) national acknowledgment of different promotions. The Wild Samoans may be better remembered than The Sheiks, but this list is building to the Road Warriors, and this was the groundwork.

Everything Started with Starrcade:

It should be stated that Starccade (11/24/1983) rebooted wrestling for the modern age. Possibly the greatest in ring performer, Ricky Steamboat, became one half of the last remaining NWA World Tag Team Championships that night. If he did not choose to temporarily retire, the AWA is nothing but a footnote in pro-Wrestling.

Starrcade was essentially the first Pay-Per-View, so the inevitable format on how promotions will run hence forth was set here. It really shows us that wrestling did not need Vince McMahon to be what it is today.

Check out the rest of the blog at the "Rip 'Em System" tumblr along with the subtext of "No Holds Barred."

"Weathering with You": Good Anime, Questionable Metaphor

*Blog entry started on January 22, 2020.

I had the idea last year (perhaps two years) about the need for Martin Luther King to go...I probably should be more careful with the openings of my blogs. The Facebook preview might give people the wrong impression. Then again, why are we still on the Trump-supporting social network anyhow?

We let Myspace die for no reason. I guess if you are upfront about personal data misuse in the name of misinformation to amuse the shrinking middle class, it is okay. At least Mark Zuckerberg is being honest.

Last year's reason why MLK day sucked, my primary job was just the retail stuff. With bullshit sales using his name, the corporation was asking people to drive through ice and freezing temperatures for discounts. I am just saying, if most people did not get a day off for the celebration, those people would be a lot safer. As for this year, my list of blogs to promote was left at the job I had the day off from.

Not having my list meant I would be behind in getting the word out by half a week. But, with the Royal Rumble being worth the $10 (If my second Paypal account cannot circumvent records about my past subscriptions of course), there will be hash tags to attach my good name to through Sunday. It seems the good Doctor King is warranted a paid day off.

As for the weekend itself, there was not too much to complain about. Having that paid day off insured the retailer could not work me into submission, so two shifts there were fine. The weather did not keep my better quarter (Eva the Cat will always get half) and I from the cinema to see Makoto Shikai's latest feature on Sunday. And Monday was pretty chill as we went to bed thinking we had our living arrangement plans ready to be put in motion.

And on Tuesday, the girlfriend mentioned to me that she spoke of certain private elements of our relationship with her sister. I learned 12 years ago, you do not let your special partner in on the facts that your private details are being shared. You can share them, just do not make it a point that you went out of the way to embarrass the partner.

"Weathering with You" is a worthwhile anime, but a far too appropriate term to describe where my love life and living arrangements are. Thankfully, it gives me a way to quit focusing on me in this blog post.

Check out the rest of this critique at AnimeRuss.blogspot.com - For those curious about anime but hate the geeks

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90 min Family Video: "Moscow Chill": A Daryl that Deserves to Die

Going through my old college note/movie critique composition books from 11 years ago has been a somewhat masochistic experience. At this point, it has been a one to three ratio of good versus bad movies. I kind of feel like a subpar Frankenstein. Resurrection is something you really should do your damnedest not to screw up.

Is showing the clever nature of my writing worth reminding myself of wasted time and promoting bad movies?

Well, there are only so many comics to read and current thoughts to document that will kill time at what is essentially a one-hour photo of a job. There is only so much passion that I can have for being a convenience. That might not be the right attitude having just failed the test to be promoted.

At least this review should not surprise me. I had so much disdain for "Absolon" and "Equilibrium", I was shocked that I could be so harsh on clever flicks. This one was a definite lesson of where obscure fandom can take you. It is a place where you ponder if Daryl Dixon is really that cool.

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Moscow Chill

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtimes

90 min. Family Video - "Feast" or How I Made It Through "Saw IV-VII"

For a fan of the tacky, this month (some where in the Fall of 2009) is pretty big. I am trying to scratch up the change to see Zoe Bell's second major studio role in "Gamer" and to watch "Extract" to maintain my status of being a cynical subculture guru. Also Rob Zombie' vision of "Halloween" being seemingly altered has gained my attention, and we have some other interesting horror flicks like "Pandorum" and "Jennifer's Body". It is my hope that I might actually get around to seeing a "Saw" film for the first time at a cinema.

It is a month where I cannot be taken too seriously, but I am serious about one thing. This thing is trying to catch up with "Sons of Anarchy" to prep myself for the showdown between Henry Rollins and  Ron Perlman. Since I do not want to fill the time before the first season is a cheap rental along side the likes of HR classics like "The Chase" and "Johnny Mnemonic", and I have recently purchased "Blade II" and rented other RP movies, it is time for me to finally catch up to the film "Feast" from the writers who continue to make the "Saw" series worthwhile despite the director or lack of Donnie Walberg to mutilate.

It may have been a typical night at this remote Texas bar, but everyone's plans are put on hold when four nightmarish and horny creatures determine that they have found a buffet. Can the patrons band together to defeat this threat, or will they all be dishes at this feast?

Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton have written a film that might be as good as "Evil Dead 2". They immediately tell the audience not to take the film too seriously, but with their device of reminding us of archetypes and the typical horror clichés associated with them, they can still shock the audience by ignoring them as the body count builds.

Like in ED2 and "Night of the Living Dead", the monsters are shown sparingly, but whenever they appear in any capacity, it catches the viewer off guard. Unlike NotLD, the dialogue is never meant to have a deeper meaning and, as long as the viewer is open to the sarcastic approach, it almost always leaves you on the floor rolling.

"Feast" provides the best use of a Henry Rollins (before "He Never Died"). For fans of the tough guy image, you may want to resist enjoying the parody of himself. As the film goes on, and he becomes more ridiculous as the film's biggest ass of a joke, you eventually go nuts for eventual fate.

As for the rest of the human characters, the script does not require much range since they are to stick to their static standard horror-movie tropes. If they fail to do so, the film fails. Fortunately, each actor succeeds.

As for the monsters, they are the most sick and twisted to be put on film since ED2. Thanks to their limited use, the viewer does not get the chance to complain about the inability for the monster to look good when they are shown in their entirety. Another benefit to the lack of them is that everything they do is shocking and sometimes gag worthy. The audience should inevitably revel in the fact that the writers and director were willing to go there when usually such disgusting concepts are reserved for B-movies.

Dunstan and Melton understand that horror (slasher) films can no longer be taken too seriously which allows "Feast" to be a brilliant horror comedy. This might defeat the intention of the concept of "Saw" (explains the just watchable nature of IV and VII), but as long as they never lose their ability to destroy the standards of the genre in the most clever way possible, they might be the most important horror writers of a generation. Provided the audience maintains a sense of humor, Dunstan and Melton will be around for a long time.

HellHorror.com Throwback Thursday.

https://hellhorror.com/movies-1048/Feast.html?=20190530230002

"Equilibrium" - Christian Bale Polishes "Ultraviolet..."

...but a shiny turd is still a turd.

The difference between a good bad movie and a piece of shit is fun. Poor cinematography, bad acting, ridiculous scripts, these can call be forgiven as long as you are too busy having fun. "The Rise of Skywalker", "The Phantom Menace", and "Attack of the Clones" are films that I still enjoy because of my "Star Wars" fandom.

"Rise" has an incoherent script, but, I cannot help but  pop for the heavy-handed fan service. The second time I saw it in a theater, when I saw all the flash armada, tears were being help back at the beauty of the concept. "Menace" and "Clones" dialogue for Natalie Portman and Hayden Christianson is beyond awful, but the story it was explaining made sense to me. Who can be pissed at an abundance of Jedi anyhow?

If you go through my blog "Best 2019 Ninety-Minute (or 97 min) Films for Chilling", only two of the movies are undeniably good (I will argue that "Yoga Hosers" was exactly what it set out to be, but that may not make it good in the eyes of some.). Do I appreciate the excellent movies more? Yes. Do I frequently have more than an hour forty to devote to one. With two jobs and at least 20 video games to play, would you suspect that I did?

Well, if it is a monthly "Star Wars" flick, I will make the time for it.

The point is, if you want to get the most out your cinema time, you have to expand your horizons. Of course the downside is, 50 percent of what is out on the shelves is genuine crap.

Now, I have been able to make some films fun. Like "Ultraviolet". Surely by watching it enough, I can find a way to salvage and appreciate it. Timur Bekmambetov may have.

I am sorry, Timur did not. That is how bad the effects and direction were "Ultraviolet". They were so bad that I thought the film predated both "Night Watch" and "Day Watch". So, reopening a movie review (and ICC's Chinese 211) notebook and finding my review for "Equilibrium", a film by "Ultraviolet" writer/director Kurt Wimmer, spawned my justification for watching bad movies and brief reevaluation of having a website devoted to 90 minute films.

20 (give or take) new reviews posted last year, three to four were weak. This means I spent nine hours watching crap. If poop is not in my Pornhub search history, why do I let it be in my queues when I could catch up on my Scorsese? That is enough time to get three films in. Good thing one of them is "Taxi Driver" at two hours.

Reddit Quote Porn

Equilibrium

I could not have been the only one who was skeptical about any movie with this a quote from WBAI's nameless critic:

FORGET "THE MATRIX"! This Movie Will Blow You Away!

I suppose I should be skeptical of any quote formatted like that. Shout or get off the pot.

Action wise, "Underworld" eventually gave us a new approach to the sleek style of the Wachowski Sisters. Sci-fi wise, how can you dream of trying to capture what that film had? Also, the English leads in "Existenze" and "Equilibrium" added some unwanted pretention to the genre that was already overly pretentious to begin with.

It was not until "Ultraviolet" attempted to presented a world "you may not understand" that I dared to venture into Kurt Wimmer's bleak not so distant future(s). I figured 10 years had passed since super Jovovich from the "Fifth Element", so it was time to give the machine overlord-free future action flicks another chance. Unfortunately, Wimmer's film was too much about making the lead out to be hotter than Beckingsale and lacked any real substance. That was quite an accomplishment since the film featured both vampires and futuristic gun play.

Recently, some friends recommended Equlibrium to me. It has been a decade since "The Matrix" (The draft for this review was written in 2009.), and it is not a Bale sequel ("The Dark Knight" was bloated and wasted too many DC characters.), so it should be worthwhile...right?

I looked at the DVD's box to discover that is was also directed by Wimmer, so as an aspiring film critic, this gave me an opportunity. It would be a film that could be bad or good that should be nice and easy to view with no bullshit middle ground to describe. The problem now is the film's title is literal, "Equilibrium" is all middle ground and a waste of 110 minutes.

In the 21st century, a father figure had determined that human emotion has nearly brought humanity to the brink of extinction. With no perceived wants, hate and jealousy cannot exist because there would no longer be reason to use them. Love causes irrational acts, so it only hurts mankind.

As long as members of this society keep on their dosage of a drug to subdue their emotions, the world will prosper through conformity. If any member of the Libria has an emotion, they will be incinerated to maintain equilibrium. The Father's clerics are trained to search and destroy threats to the society.

Cleric Preston is the best, but after having to kill his partner over contraband, he is second guessing his purpose to exist. When he captures his partner's lover, he starts to learn what can be gained by having feelings. Now he must determine what is more important, peace or humanity. Stand and destroy nonconformists or attack and introduce the world to what they have lost.

As a director, I do not see how Wimmer has fans to support him. (Since he has not directed a film since 2006, I think this observation indicated that he does not have the fans suggested). Perhaps it is because of Gun Kata, "his" kung-fu gun play hybrid. To me, this is his clever way to cover up his inability to direct or write action sequences.

In his directorial efforts, Wimmer has few great action sequences, but they are not based on his attempts to rip of chapter 29 of "The Matrix". His protagonist effortlessly lays waste to armies of adversaries, and in "Equilibrium", it is pathetic to watch. The hero is never threatened, so there is no reason to feel involved. The viewer eventually wants the hero to take a slug or two.

Since he does have the ability to catch an occasional action scene right, he should not rely on tricks like scenes in absolute darkness. These scenes may show his vision as a director. It seems that he is trying to capture  storyboards shots, so actual motion is secondary. When one is directing a motion picture, to ignore the motion part makes it seem like the director has missed the point.

With "Equilibrium", Wimmer at least shows some ability as a writer. The world he created in this film is logical. Our hero has to overcome something that he is aware of, and the story tells his struggle well. Which is an accomplishment with all of the sudden twists that do not show up till the stories fourth act. It does seem to run long because the hero is trying to maintain his mental/emotional density. Again, you wish for something bad would happen to him for his own sake.

Bale is able to shine as the cleric. Like his performance in "Public Enemies", you can see his emotional struggle between what he should do and what he must do. With no Johnny Depp, to share the film with, it allows for a greater appreciation of his talents.

Of course, if he was going to do this in a flawed film, I would rather it have been in "Terminator Salvation", a film that only story problem is based to that series's continuity.

Seeing "Equilibrium" only encourages a subpar talent to remain subpar. Bale's performance is great, and the story is compelling, but the action will make the audience cringe. "Equlibrium" is "Two Girls, One Cup". It is fun to talk about, but not to watch.

MFK: Relationships, Format, Long John Silver's

*Post started on January 13, 2020.

It had been a pretty uneventful week. Little did I know that was someone's intention.

That has all been addressed, in about every tell-all in the event of bad break up way. How hard is it to find a reasonably priced apartment with two entrances? If only both parties could afford one bedroom units in the same building.

And that has just gave me new notice that my codependency maybe getting the best of me.

There have been moments of frustration through out the week. Seeing that Mom has got a "Keep America Great" bumper sticker was one thing. For a woman who was hoping that John Kasich could keep the soon-to-be orange war criminal out go evangelical on my family is a bit of a shock. I would have assumed that she just keep her mouth shut about the Republican candidate instead of embracing her irrational fears of minorities or wealth redistribution. Surely she could have waited to revive her passive aggressive (and racist), "just don't vote for this Democrat" campaign.

If my older sister were to read this, my opinions may get back to her. But judging that she will not let you explain your side when it comes to politics, letting her know it in an environment where she cannot reply with "tough" might be good for her. The only real risk is Dad hearing about it and turning on me. I can respect that though.

How can you not admire that display of love? He maybe able to justify, or at least move on from each of Trump's evil policies, and come up with a way to recover and/or improve this country from them, but he has never displayed a hateful bone in his body. Mom on the other hand...may just be willfully ignorant and totally paranoid (not necessarily hateful). I have said that he can just tolerate, but goddamn, what he displays with her is patience. My only patience with her is just avoiding politics all together.

Which I did for the most part. We discussed how my sister and her family will handle the United Methodist split. It was nicer to focus on that instead of her husband finding used condoms in the drywall of their new house.

I guess last week may have been all about analyzing relationships and vanilla sex. Thanks Tommy Wiseau. After watching the room, it is good to know that I am doing something better than him in more than one way.

And if you want to see if that also expands into filmmaking, feel free to ask about getting a copy of the treatment for "Main Event of the Dead", a zom-com B-movie centered around pro-wrestling. Send me an email at russthebus07@gmail.com for the treatment or ways of promoting it out of developmental hell.

"The Room" has taught me the most important lesson James Franco and Tim Burton can offer. Wait for the dramatization of the bad filmmaker's stories instead of thinking that you need to live it to get it. If you are told a bad movie is beyond repair, believe it and move on. Rifftrax will get to it eventually. Too bad Burton is too tied up with IP and Franco can allow himself to be scum.

*January 14, 2020

I miss Myspace. As a certified website designer, it was nice to have a blogging platform were I did not have to think about making it two page downs long. In terms of bulletins and posts, Myspace was essentially Facebook on steroids. Why are we so quick to abandon steroids?

Basically, this post did not feel long enough. Fulfilling since I now realize how you can deal with concepts that are awful (Do I admire my dad's comprehension skills enough?), but brief. I was going to just leave this hanging around as a draft for a while, but I had the idea this morning to release two blogs clusters a week. This job is going well thus far, but should I have a release schedule that reaches out to September? That is about the time I have been here a year, so my wandering spirit may kick in and I will need to weigh big city hospitality versus stability.

Thinking about my stability, why are all my relationships codependent ones? I have just returned from lunch, and remembered that I had some money to move around. Waiting 25 minutes at Champaign's Long John Silver's (5 minutes to order, 10 minutes to pay, 10 minutes to get food) kind of threw my chores off and my justification for eating out instead of just making a PB 'n J at home.

Two visits ago (They say that I am the only one keeping them open.) they had just abandoned the drive-thru, and did not even take my order despite sticking their heads out to check on the traffic. But I had a coupon, and that happened in the evening, so I did come back for lunch before the expiration. Despite this, corporate and management failed to get back to my complaint.

If only I had a wider pallet when it came to fast food options. I will never be a burger guy because I cannot trust people to deliver beef, bacon, cheese and no condiments. Too many times have my plain chicken sandwiches arrived with mayo.

I should be sympathetic on the staff. The person waiting on me said that she and only one other employee was present and I am sure she was doing the best she could. But, this is not made to order (or I at least do not expect fried food to be), so why their were not planks in a bin like McDonald's fries is beyond me. And this is not like my retail job where you grab what you want to overpay for. If you do not have the staff to operate, just do not open up. I will at least understand. Of course, I am the ultimate customer.

This was going to be my last time at the fish joint. As I reached for the phone to send a scathing tweet, my order arrived. It arrived with another apology, and a five dollar off coupon for the trouble. Can you blame me for not wanting to waste free money?

Which reminds me, Hot Cash is coming up at Hot Topic. It is coming up the same week Auntie Anne's is offering buy one get one pretzels. Have all my vices/apps synched? Bitches.

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