MFK: Fear, Loathing, McNuggets

Disclaimer: There is no fear except the perceived fear of judgement in this blog.

Perhaps my current job needs a crazed general manager. Perhaps all the e-mails that I am sending management about what is going on with that is beyond my control will do that.

At least I cannot rant about kids this week. Well, there is a tale about my nephew this week that showed me my line that would be crossed before getting physical with a developing family member. I do love my developed family, so I cannot be wishing PG-13 Joe Dante consequences on their kids. What I should have done was record the tantrum to show my early childhood teacher of a sister's restraint with him. It makes me wonder where that was growing up with her.

Things would be so much easier on me if I had some celebrity credentials. People could keep up with my writing and pitches to help promote my B-movie pro-wrestling zomcom, Main Event of the Dead, (I would happy to send you a treatment if you e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com) like they get news updates on their phone. More importantly, my loved ones would not have to wait three weeks to see where my head is at right now. But for the casual reader, alternating movie reviews and personal blogs make more sense than just being clever with my own self-loathing.

The loathing reminds me of an ex-girlfriend who stalked me online for a year and a half before working up the nerve to let me know how well she was, that she was over her own psychotic depression issues and that there was hope for me. When I asked for help, she quickly turned around and called me poison and that I could not survive being someone who hates everything and drunkenly mocks it. At least moving down to Champaign has left me with the knowledge that I am more than capable of sober mockery.

So it may not be self-loathing but loathing in general. If I want to be more specific, loathing those who expect everything to be their way. Being at my retail job sounds like it would be a better environment than my hotel work tonight. It is tough doing a 14-hour day, but knowing that dads are spoiling their children with homemade waffles means it will be the mid afternoon before they come to scream at the store. With no immediate juvenile shrieking, I'd be coasting on that morning vibe till it was time to clock out. At least I know that I am tough to leave that job to deal with supposedly rational persons touting the money they spend as a reason to ignore posted warnings about our limitations.

If you say, "I am not one to complain, but my superstar status (cannot give away the game) justifies it," you should be loathed. Are you angry, or just want a discount? When we hear complaints about the same thing from the other side of the building, it is probably the latter.

My rule when it comes to complaining is to be happy with the apology and acknowledgement that they can make things better. If they do not do that, then I am going to request compensation, but I am not going to expect something for free...unless they are fast food franchise and that is because they usually turned me away from actually getting food to begin with.

Thus, I live in a fried chicken desert. The new air fryer cannot make battered stuff so no faux-McNuggets.

There is just a feeling that everywhere someone wants to put themselves above you. My mom got that in Morton when the mother's of our friends try to measure worth by grandchildren count. If you are familiar with me in Peoria wrestling, those who do not drink (well, go intercourse yourself Andy Roberts) or prick you with needles will tell you that was how I was.

Despite context issues with a lot of those claims, it may be true, but I at least I told you I was aspiring to do so. Aspiring to be, not actually being, so technically their claims are false. If I could have gotten my shit together (or if Carrie would have sooner) and the local booker would try to springboard those with greater aspirations than his WWE light, the business would be what I hid from the IRS. The point is, I was fighting for a livelihood not a discount on an open-box item or a hotel room. Then again, independent wrestling is based on handshakes and hot dogs.

Adulthood for me has been a litany of failures, so some of the loathing is probably directed at myself. I could blame the stereo-typically loathsome (junkies/strippers/wrestlers/crusty jugglers), but they are the company I kept and may still be comfortable with. Judge not unless ye be judged. If the real world would stop doing that, there is a chance I may get over myself.

It is ironic that I enjoy my current sources of income because it could be called an advertisement to why I should be loathed. And with a lack of friends to produce my B-movie pro-wrestling zomcom, Main Event of the Dead, no one is telling the world why I should not be. Support is just words offered by the few who grant you some attention or a girlfriend who tells judgy people about your depression and flaws.

If all the dancers at Big Al's got an that impression of her, I suppose all the parishioners at the Vineyard should plot to destroy the enlightenment I obtained five years ago when I realized judgement was the reason religion was bad. It only seems fair and that's what friends are for.

9/19/11: Dead Parents and Dead Animals - Piss on Disney if You Piss on Vick

I writing a blog tonight since I'll be heading to Wrigleyville for the last home game this year on Wednesday. If I want to spend money on used CDs and video games on Clark Street, I got leave for the Northside early that morning.

I believe, the lack of a significance actuality leaves me pissier than most. HostGator having a horrid file structure is not helping things by placing a delay on the "Main Event of the Dead" project that I can't control. My stubborn nature forces me to deny reality, so I got to direct the negativity into something constructive. Thus, I have to write. Humor is how I cope, so I got to write about something I can laugh at, and that is the stupidity of comments of Facebook.

I'd love to see genuine commitment to statements that updates are trying to advise us as being common sense. Supporting the hypocrite Ron Paul (how can a Libertarian appeal to the Tea Party when they support a party representing the God-fearing right?), xenophobic immigration policy (how can they celebrate Irish and German drinking holidays that recognize their foreign heritage?), and unjust persecution of people who have paid for their crimes (please leave Casey Anthony alone when her probation run ups).

I'm a believer in the justice (not the civil) system, so in principle, I got to stand by any guilty verdict (that I don't think I could appeal). When it comes to unpopular cleared defendants, if you don't have the nerve to punish them on your own, shut the fuck up.

Like those who celebrate Michael Vick's neck injury. The guy did his time. If you don't like that, vote Democrat (there's money in dog fighting, hence Paul, Perry and Bachmann support dog fighting), or sack the fucker on your own. I doubt the guys in Red were doing it for Scooby.

Watching Bellator on my DVR (too many fighters, not enough story), I wonder whether or not anyone should be pissed at Vick. My parents didn't encourage me to get my ass kicked in an attempt to make a living for 25 years (my first karate class occurred when I was six). I had the heart of a warrior, and I wanted to (and am still trying to) follow that path. Who is to say that some canines do not have a love for the fight?

Dogs are smart, probably smarter than a third of human beings. They know its not personal, it's all about the Alpo and bitches. Business is business.

I cannot be the only one who thinks this. Let me direct you to Walt Disney. "Fox and the Hound" is about how business can become personal, but if Todd minded his Ps and Qs, their had been no feud. The dobermans in "Oliver and Company" seemed to love their work, and Tito was proud to say he was a scrapper. What about the gambling hairballs in "All Dogs Go to Heaven?"

Sorry "All Dogs Go to Heaven" was Don Bluth. With the hit and miss nature of the Disney product of late, it is easy for me to get those matricidal animators messed up. When I think about a case of a dead dad in those films, I think "The Lion King," where Nala and Simba would beat each other up as kids.

There is a fighting spirit in some animals, and with some reforms, dog fighting could be made safer. Teach them to go for the fall instead. The only thing truly uncivilized about dog fighting maybe the fact the Huntington Bad Pups bite. That just can't be allowed.

If you want to be pissed about Michael Vick, I'll give you the drowning of the losing dogs, but then again, it isn't like the Cena-loving wrestling fans and that uneducated Grantland fuck are calling for the drowning of Ric Flair. Fighters just never get a fitting retirement. We know that when we get into it.

So, is a year in jail and bankruptcy enough punishment for the doggy dunking Philadelphia quarterback? Because I tried to do good with the actions that led me to my chapter 7, I'd say no, but I haven't voted to change that. If you get a deal of any kind (provided it is legal), you should be praised for meeting your end of it. Instead, people are assholes, and they try to take away someones livelihood.

Cut military weaponry spending and divert it to education. This way, Michael Vick could have had a nonpublic profession if football didn't work out. If only we could take the capitalism out of sport, the Vick brothers would not be victims of a corrupt collegiate athletic system.

hwww.buzzfeed.com/

9/28/11: Would King Diamond take time off for Grandma?

From HGS's transition of the Ryder Customer Response Center (Peoria and Manila) to a new third party call center company (Tennessee and Jamaica).

It turns out that Jamaicans do not understand English as well as Filipinos do. I don't like picking on those who do not speak a generic American dialect, but when you are getting paid to speak it, comprehend it.

Now if I want to walk that stereotype line, the language barrier isn't the issue, it's the relaxed culture. You would hope the Yanks who are reinventing the training program for my lame-duck position would be partaking, but they know that would prevent them from bitching at us because we cannot repair their fuck ups.

They got to go out of their way to treat us better. It is damn near intolerable. We are so understaffed, if I was management, I would have demanded better proof to get out of work to see my dying grandma than a text message. Even the dumbest cell phones have camera phones. If a boss demanded visual evidence, and you provided it to them, they should probably feel so shitty that they will give you a couple of extra bereavement days off.

Honestly, I'm just pissy because I think the employee in question will use this as an excuse not to comeback to the job. Of course, I never missed work unless it was wrestling related or I was locked up in the county jail. Only being in a personal hell kept me from making money.

Perhaps you can blame my parents who insisted I go to my class at ICC the day my dad had his heart attack. You had a few hours since driving him to the hospital, get back to the books. Fucking night classes to earn a web design certificate. Three years to earn a semester's worth of credits, and I wonder why my degree landed me a wretched employer like Secure First.

You are second shift. If you want to say your farewells, wake up to get their before your shift. Do you really need to see someone die? Maybe I'm blessed because the only death I dealt with was a grand pyrotechnics display, and over in minutes. Sorry mom and dad, my luck, you'll probably croak when I decide to get a Coke.

So the chronically depressed guy who wants to get my affairs together discovers that when I decide to cash in my chips and flip God off, I got to make it look spectacular. Further knowledge of God's cruel sense of humor. He gets his jollies by savoring the frustrations of a perfectionist who swears that if its going to be done, it has got to be done right.

Placing him in an uncaring work environment that leaves little time to do anything else but think of how pointless his existence makes me think that God is taking his satirical inspiration from "Saturday Night Live." The premise is no longer funny, get to the punchline.

So when I end it all, I better get some laughs out of it as well. I am destined to be Wile E. Coyote.

3/28/12: What is there to Hurrah about?

Recently, I've found myself in an existential conundrum. A lot of things bugging me. My value or potential value to others. The lack of a secure feeling about my current job. Actually ending up in the black, but not having anything to direct the fortune to (I really need someone to do some poster work for "Main Event of the Dead").

It kind of feels like my wrist has been broken again. No wrestling to devote myself to and no awesome influence like Stacia Hardin to realize there are more important thing to life. Or to at least make me think wonderful things like rainbows, unicorns, and real libertarians could exist.

Perhaps, the wrestling wouldn't be on my mind except for the bullshit that is NGW: The Last Hurrah.

As the title of the blog implies (I am proud of the titles duality with my general mind set), there is nothing the promotion did to be proud of. There is just no reason to celebrate it's death.

The best things the promotion did was allow six of us to go to a wrestling clinic in Cincinnati for 25 bucks each and NGW teaching Brett Gakiya and CJ Esparza how to run the ropes. At least that was all that happened when I was part of the promotion. Otherwise, the only good I think it did was lay the groundwork down for the VBI Tourneys. On the flip-side, it laid the groundwork for Ian Rotten to keep running third rate-shows.

You could say it gave a few guys the chance to live out their dreams since it was just not practical for them to dedicate themselves to the business. Unfortunately, a lot of them were the Pekin kids. It was a step above backyard wrestling, but the environment did not encourage them to pursue their dreams.

From what I could gather, none of them worked outside of NGW until the promotion quit running shows on a frequent basis. I suppose you could count whatever promotion the so called trainer Norman Callaway got conned into being a part of. World Wrestling Zone and Thunder Wrestling Federation come to immediate mind (I won't list the con-artist names, but I'm sure you remember who they are).

Celebrating NGW feels like it's an excuse for guys who didn't make it out of the Indie dead zone in Illinois between I-80 and I-72 to feel like they did not have to. I'm sorry, Peoria was a dead zone (hence some of the inspiration for "Main Event of the Dead"), and if you wanted to be a success in this business, you had to want to get out of there.

It goes back to the old saying, "It is better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven." It is still hell, and you know you shouldn't want to end up there.

I don't want any of the boys to not be proud of what they did in NGW. But I don't want them to think we were part of ECW or Jim Crockett Promotions. Next Generation Wrestling was not a stepping stone to bigger and better things. Peoria was not a place where the stars wanted to stay or were offered to further their legacy. To think we should celebrate our efforts with the great territories is just ridiculous.

If you want to argue about this show being a chance for old friends to get together and do what they love to do, I can understand that. But I also understand the irony of Bruce Springsteen songs.

You can say it is like the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction concerts, but they have Bruce Springsteen, rock's Arn Anderson. Love Zero Gravity, but they are not quite the E Street Band. They aren't Max Weinberg and Steven Van Zandt yet.

The Last Hurrah is a high school reunion, but the 10-year scheduled dealing with the douche-bags has more class. High school reunions don't try to charge people to be spectators.

That is unless the proceeds are going to help out Nose.

In the end, I just want to see a future for Peoria wrestling. I don't want to believe, we are all fine with just doing one show a year. Let's get to work on rebuilding instead of remembering what we did for more no more than 120 people. Let's not be a song lyric:

I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it but I probably will.

I'd love to help build a future for this business in this town and if I can help out let me know. I have Main Event of the Dead, if anyone wants a script treatment, drop me an email at russthebus07@gmail.com.

90-Minute Netflix: Future World - The Charm James Franco Was Hiding

A long 90 minutes feels like a first for me. I have seen bad and wretched hour-and-a-half lengthened features, but I could never say long. Lengthy is something that may not hold your attention, but it may not be the genre. Low budget knock offs are what Blockbuster Video fans long for. If the concept is as good as James Franco's "Future World" and featuring a Milla Jovovich role, I am in it till the last minute.

Ash (Suki Waterhouse) is a robot built at the peak of technological advancement. Realizing the history and malice of her creators that lead to an apocalypse that lacked zombies or nukes, she decides to erase her memory. It is better to be a relic than a tool. Unfortunately, an artifact is not what Warlord (Franco) and his bikers need.

Prince (Jeffrey Wahlberg) was born in the oasis, a peaceful commune in the scorched wasteland. Peace is maintained because they have the only working ammunition in the world. When Prince's mother (Lucy Liu) falls ill to the plague of the era, the red fever, he determines that by packing a little heat, he and his compadres can make it to Paradise Beach and find the cure their matriarch needs. Of course the luck runs out when they run into Warlord and his new robotic bride.

After murdering a few people and dealing with the annoyance of Warlord's presence, the awoken robot decides she needs to set some grounds for morality. Saving Prince and sending her husband on a wild goose chase seemed to be a good start. If she can get the kid to Paradise Beach and the cure, all should at least be even Steven. Surely there are no more nuts of higher acclaim in the cast. Jovovich only plays stable characters...right?

The cast of "Future World" knows what you are supposed to do with a film seeming inspired by "Cyborg 2." That is to chew the scenery and enjoy every bite of it. With Snoop Dog and Method Man in the cast, fans of B-movies know this will not be a waste of time.

You have to have a taste for the tacky to enjoy a flick like this. The actors are here to have fun and get scale. When you arrive on a "set" where it is jut a burnt out hotel with some faux graffiti, what else are you going to do? If you do not focus of being over the top, the movie is going to be "Cyborg."

Now, I dug "Cyborg" because no one seeming could act, so it is a fun train wreck. "Future World" qualifies as a movie. The script is articulate enough and it may have the talent to be a respectable "Road Warrior" knock off. It has a quest that feels like an 80's animated film, and if you have that, I will feel nostalgic. "Future World" can only be a B-flick, so it is a success.

For those who need a well-made film to keep their attention, the lack of well-made inanimate object will have you turning this title off. Wise scenery choices instead of minimal effort could have made this an American "Mad Max." I at least hope that is what director Franco was going for. Sand is the best looking part of the sets. I suppose only George Miller is the only person who can shoot that.

"Future World" was probably a wild pitch that took any money it could get. You have to respect it for letting Jovovich do what she does best. It has to be appreciated for not being overly complicated sci-fi to justify its shortcomings. And any movie with Snoop as the Love Lord is worth $1.75.

Why they didn't put that in his billing may be the dumbest thing this film did.

9/25/09: Dog Fighting for Early Childhood

Rose McGowan, who should be thanking me for getting her more followers (if 34,426 wasn't enough) was tweeting about hearing about an Illinois dog fighting ring that was being ran out of a day care center. It's great to know the Charmed girls are great information sources. @russthebus replied:

@rosemcgowan It was not a dogfighting ring. What happens when two kids in daycare argue about whose puppy for show and tell is coolest?5:26 PM Sep 23rd from web

With the state government cutting funding to early childhood programs, I wonder if this is truly a bad idea.

If we go along with the premise of the tweet, that it starts with two kids bringing in two dogs into class for show and tell, wouldn't we put the two dogs at it to just shut the kids up. It would get them prepared for the traumatic experiences they will face growing up. Who knows? I may have been better prepared for when I failed to save a man who set himself on fire if I saw something sick and twisted to begin with.

The world is unfairly cruel. Kids do not want to hear sad stories, so they are sheltered from the truth that bad stuff happens. This will teach them the lesson when their guard is down.

It may also teach children to be careful what they say. If they don't want to see their poodle get mauled, they won't be quick to say that their dog is the coolest. They will be more careful about their decisions in the future, and the world will prosper for it.

Speaking of prospering, day cares can do so through the dog fighting. Like it is wrong to use gambling to fund schools. That is actually our justification for having lotteries and riverboat casinos. They are suppose to fund our schools. As long as we have wise day care teachers when it comes to laying odds on the mutts, the money should role in.

Also, we can sell the videos of the fights to show to small dogs. If they see a chihuahua get chewed up by a pincher, they may not be so quick to annoyingly bark when they see a bigger dog. Obedience training may also be helped if puppies knew that this could be their fate. The only people who would be pissed by this are the puppy pad manufactures just because we have given the little buggers further incentive to do their business outside.

The best thing about this idea is that it is totally avoidable. Don't want trouble, be careful how you handle your pet. Hell, teachers with allergies may appreciate the idea because dogs will more than likely stay at home instead of at school.

And once again, how can you object to the financial stability it will give these schools? The only other solution I have is socialism, but how are we suppose to sell the public on that?

In other news:

Nitro Expected To Win Westminster Dog Fight

1/05/10: Super Pets, Adultery, and Capitalism: Pick the Good one

So, I finally have a short little satirical bit that doesn't need much development. Writing opinion pieces for The Harbinger (http://iccharbinger.com) and figuring out how to tone them down in terms of cynicism may have hindered my ridiculous nature.

If adultery, Facebook apps, and corporate America doesn't get me back on track this year, what will?

Yes, I use Zoosk, the flirtation app. It only made sense because besides for classmates, what dude do I want to know who hasn't written a classic motion picture? If you're not auctioning something on eBay or you don't have a Super Pet, I will not let you turn my profile into a sausage-fest.

I'm aware of the sexual hypocrisy. Straight dudes can't use cute apps, when they can play glorified MUDs with trendy topics. This isn't really about being straight, gay or queer, it's just an unwillingness to be imaginative by the only demographic that matters. Show a little bit of creativity, and they lump you with Oscar Wilde or Aaron Schock (allegedly).

That is probably why the application lets you purchase clothing for your fur-ball that no queer would wear. To make sure they can broaden their audience and find a sure fire way to make extra money using corporate sponsorship. If using an app that lets you socialize with lonely girls wasn't reason enough to get a virtual hopping cactus?

Also makes me wonder why Zoosk doesn't have a corporate sponsors. You can buy gifts for those you are flirting with. For one dollar you can send a girl a virtual love note. So??? Isn't it more romantic to say, "I can't buy you a Prada bag, but I definitely would if I could afford to?"

Super Pets can be dressed up in NBA, Snoop or Paris Hilton clothes. Not to say I want a Hilton tie in to this site, but does Commercial America dare not delve into flirting?

Judging how Tiger Woods is being treated, I guess not.

Not saying I advocate what Woods did, but the movies have told us that is what athletes do on the road. Would we deprive the "Wild Thing" Rick Vaughn tail?

Then again that's a Charlie Sheen character.

There are probably a great deal of products that should jump for Woods to be their sponsor because of his scandal. Lexus with their rear view cameras. Disposable cell phones like Virgin Mobile. 1-800-Flowers, deBeers, Legal Zoom, etc.

Oh no, something irresponsible, but totally legal is something corporations cannot advocate, as they encourage men to at least ask their doctors if they are healthy enough to have sex and sell sex toys late at night to tell women there is an escape from their shitty relationships that won't violate your prenuptial agreement or inspire those stories that make great "Law and Order" episodes.

Wouldn't it be better for women to just get the restraining order and start a better life? Not risk the embarrassment of their partner dropping dead mid cloitus.

Then we can use the money that goes to the sex industry to fund the law enforcement and cancer research. Responsible acts.

No, capitalists will not be responsible until a women comes after them wielding a nine iron or their partner/rapist's penis. Even then they don't act responsible. They think only of themselves, and abandon their bro to the crazy ho.

Perhaps this is really just the subconscious fear of women all men have, but if you want to stay committed to your cause even if it something as stupid as greed, GROW A PAIR!!!

11/3/11: I don't remember drinking requiring so much dedication.

No time to write. No time for exercise. Fuck, I got three weeks of "The Walking Dead" to catch up on.

And I worry about ending up with a first shift job.

The bars, what few are left downtown, aren't much fun on the weekends, unless you got friends to tear it up with (what I hope to come out with from all the late night activity), so waking up in the AM is kind of scary.

Farmington Road, is that where my future intoxicated adventures are to be found? When the only time I left the Dormitory, I was pissy about who I could have mopped the floor with, going anywhere besides the Jukebox, that future seems bleak.

With any luck, the MMA plans will come to fruition. I'll catch on to BJJ and Muy Thai quick enough that I can bust my ass to cut weight for fights, and hopefully old school "Conan: The Barbarian" rewards.

Still, it is just difficult to change your ways without proper motivation. It almost makes me wish that I was two-dimensional fat. No small compliments to inspire you to believe that you are good enough, smart enough, and the rest of that ironic bull shit.

Then again, how many of my fat fuck friends end up with their own families without dropping a single pound? Makes me genuinely believe I'm just unattractive.

Dedication, I guess I got to the point with drinking that I don't think about how shitty my life is when I'm drunk.

Perhaps Russell Claude is back. But I do wonder, should I just spend my booze money on a dating website.

When they guarantee tits in my face, let me know. I got to be true to myself, hence a return to the Dario Argento filmography.

"Opera" (1987) - "Phenomena" without the mysticism or Americanism. This feature is all about capturing horrific scenes in the most marvelous ways. Lacks the heart of his other features to this point, so only the outstanding cinematography and the use of heavy metal separate from the rest of the Italian slasher genre. It's a fun feature, but with a better script, it could be a classic.

"Two Evil Eyes (The Black Cat)" (1990) - It is as good as an Edgar Allan Poe adaptation that could have been put to celluloid, but the best I've seen is "The Simpsons" take on "The Raven." The twisted imagery and clever visual references to other Poe tales doesn't undo this. To make matters worse, Harvey Keitel's character is not sympathetic enough. Part of the fun of Poe is putting ourselves in the character's shoes. That cannot be done when you despise the lead.

Then again, that maybe the cat person talking.

"Trauma" (1993) - This maybe the best story about a head-hunting serial killer. It runs a little long and drags at points, but Tom Savini special effects and a heartfelt relationship between an Italian under-aged anorexic (daughter Asia Argento) and a recovering addict graphic designer keeps your interest until a climax that tops his killer chimp ending.

giallofilms.blogspot.co.uk/

MFK: Nazis, Kid Parties, Roommates

Is cleaning up really that difficult? Or, is reproducing the real problem?

The problem is hotel lobbies either have too much space or the wrong ambiance. I cannot fault management wanting to rent out our meeting room whenever possible, but do they know the type of people who work weekend evenings?

My offspring count is zero. That is why I do not mind dedicating weekends to the almighty dollar. So to keep me wanting to come in, quit booking baby showers. The worse parenting generations make you surrender your entire business to their wee shits. Picking up the phone from the business center once to a toddler is one too many times.

And the use of the shredder from last night's birthday party left me hoping for a "Gremlins 2: The New Batch" accident. At least the legless kid could have a career panhandling outside Wrigley Field. Even the Ricketts cannot kick them out of the Northside. An injury like that maybe worth the clean up.

I am far from godliness on all levels. You give me two basins in a kitchen sink, until one is filled with dishes, I am not doing them. Regardless of my allergies, the dust presence at times would allow you to write a dying message without using any bodily fluids. That is because blood stains, and if I am renting, I am only paying the standard carpet cleaning fee. Intercourse the Rug Doctor.

If it takes elbow grease, I understand not wanting to risk injury. If all you have to do is bend over to pick up some trash or wipe away some crumbs, it is really difficult for me to pity you. Perhaps it is my herniated back, but I have adjusted to bending my knees to go down.

So wrestling promoters, I can still knock out Hindu squats. My cardio will not give you 10 minutes, but what job requires that much work. Pick a gimmick that mocks a group of fans or stereotypes, I am your man. The anonymity with a lucha mask lets you get away with anything. As white nationalist will tell you, "that's what hoods are for."

Should I have put SATIRE ALERT before that last paragraph? Regardless, I am now wondering if we would let Incels get away with their shenanigans if they wore luchador attire with a little flair? That awfulness flies in Peoria, home base of the masked Dixieland Destroyer. Why not a sparkling red mask with swastikas on the sides and a Hitler stache on the front? As long as we kill the character off, it should be featured in my B-movie pro-wrestling zomcom, Main Event of the Dead, I would happy to send you a treatment if you e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

Do you see now where dirtiness can take a mind? Since my girlfriend is my only known reader (feel free to comment people), she will probably think this is directed at her. And that is why I avoid putting her name down. What other path was I suppose to take this blog? Haven't I written enough about how kids are so goddamn annoying?

Maybe I am just to damn attentive. My writings are about observations, so everything has the potential to get on my nerves. Especially my own messes. Thus, I clean them once I make them for the most part. There is the occasional coffee ground that I miss, but when you have your Keurig sitting inside a foil tub to catch most of those misses, it is obvious that I am trying to limit my trail of food.

Is it so much to ask someone to pay attention to what they're doing? Since my hotel is hosting a baby shower, I suppose not.

This leads me to realize that I need to bring my old journals back from the previous jobs where blogging on the clock was not plausible. Focusing on those old movie reviews and rants is probably safer than writing about how I hope my hotel turns to a children's morgue as I hope parents will be inspired to properly raise their spawn.

It may also let me get into a routine of posting "MFK" blogs between movie reviews. Seems like good promotion, the kind I need for my B-movie pro-wrestling zomcom, Main Event of the Dead, I would happy to send you a treatment if you e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.

"Don't let your babies grow up to be Cubs Fans, and always remember to spay or neuter your White Sox Fans," Russ Stevens

9/3/09: 40 Years is Enough

Working at a gas station, you notice weird things. Kevin Smith, the second best screenwriter of the nineties, career was based on it. 

Working at a gas station in the Peoria area, the nation's test market (we get new stuff for three months, and have to wait 10 years for it's return) you see a lot of crappy products.

Today, Hershey's chocolate-flavored Bubble Yum.

I turn to my fellow associate to say, "This product won't sell. I hope they kill whoever came up with such a stupid idea in the name of natural selection."

After the disturbed chuckle of my coworker, I rethought my statement. It was not fair in terms of Darwinism.

"That guy shouldn't die. He should be commended for finding people dumb enough to fund it. The people who gave the product their approval should."

Makes me question which came first, the Nazis or Hitler? No Hitler, no World War through the efforts of dumb Germans. No dumb Germans, no Hitler. If that's not a shout out to my English pride, what is? I guess that's why the chicken or the egg is the universal, less offensive query. 

I for one feel that no one deserves to die, but the world is over populated. The herd needs to be thinned. Trying to stay humorous, I think back to Family Guy's episode where Brian tells his therapist about his Logan's Run dream. 

Cinema history lesson. Logan's Run is a sci-fi film from the seventies that earned a best special effects Oscar nomination for overly potent scribs (explosive charges used to simulate bullet marks).

The plot is that after our world is essentially destroyed (nukes, war, I came in late on this flick) the remaining population developed a dome society where robots do everything for people. To allow for this society to efficiently exist, when you turn 30 you are killed. Most people accept it, but of course, not everyone is so pro choice 363 trimesters in.

Logan, our main character who is on one of the execution squads that tracks down the runners, has turned 30, and has decided he's in the wrong.

My coworker asked "was this the flick with Robert Duvall?" No, Michael York is the star. THX1138 is Duvall's role from the even more confusing George Lucas film.

Thirty. Despite my state of mind right now, I think I may still need three more years if my hopeless ass can hang in there. But do I need thirteen? Hell, Hendrix, Joplin, Morrison, Cobain, 2 pac...they all did it in 27.

So I propose euthanasia at 40.

What is there for anyone to accomplish after 40?

Politics? Come on who wouldn't like to see Bush (W) euthanized?

Art? Stanley Kubrick even realized some projects are left to the younger directors. Like Jimmi Hendrix who achieved more just playing covers.

Technology? When did Bill Gates steal DOS and Windows? What good has he done since then?

Who needs technology if the risks are eliminated? What do you need to improve if the risks are eliminated? What do people under 40 have to fear a disease rise? Leukemia, testicular cancer, and cervical cancer...

AIDS? With the cocktail, you shouldn't die till after 40. It'd be wiped out.

40 years is the age where you start having the awkward procedures to increase the length of your life. 

What straight guy is not fearing a prostate exam? I've heard all the bitching my mom offers about the mammogram procedure.

So if life ends at 40, men don't get a finger up their ass. Women won't have to go through Botox to keep there men from going after younger tail.

Plus the biological clock issues. Are you telling me women look forward to menopause?

My little sister asked about child raising? She said, "You can't parent as long as you should." I told her, "Your major is childhood development, this would give you more work."

If you only have 40 years to live, you'd be a lot more productive with the knowledge that your life can be a waste.

You wanna be a teacher for a decade, no more keg stands. You wanna be a parent, get your kids fast and love every minute of it.

The most important thing about death at forty is it would weed out the weirdest people. Who on earth goes to med school to become a proctologist? Someone who has a fascination with assholes, or a person who couldn't succeed in any other medical field. 

Am I the right person for this rant? Perhaps. I feel burned out and hopeless. I can't do much more with my life. I fought my ass off to be this loser, and a lot of the time it seems like a waiting game.

Then again, I always want to be productive, and I work best with deadlines. 

Obviously, my argument isn't fair. My grandmother was full of knowledge that I try to use everyday. No one should deny my grandfather or father the time to give the love that they did/do. If you want to keep living, please earn it.

So I have developed a fair way of euthanasia. 

When you turn forty, you get a choice. All of the difficulties of the slide down the hill, or you get to choose your method of execution. I got this from Monty Python's Meaning of Life.

For example: a man is given a choice. A prostate exam or have intercourse with Scarlett Johansson (I'm actually a Keira Knightley fan myself), and she's on top. Your head will be laid across a guillotine, and she is holding the rope to the blade. When you cum, she drops the blade.

You cannot convince me that a quarter of our society won't take the nut and cut. Thus the herd is thinned out.

I think all of this is pretty clever. Maybe even intelligent. Then again, I'm not at a Big Ten school, I'm at a truck stop.

After working at about any kind of gas station, one gets fed up with the most ridiculous customers. Surely, this world could use less ridicule.

Maybe this is my work of genius. Einstein came up with the theory of relativity, and he worked as a patent officer. A clerk of his own kind. 

Then again, I'm may just be a closet prude. Either way, I'd love feed back.

1/3/10: Why are Chicago Sports Fans Restricted to Hoping?

It isn't the complete and elegantly cleaned up ICC newspaper version of my story, but since it is still relevant, and needs a larger audience (read Heather McGraw's Holiday article at http://iccharbinger.com as support for this statement) I'm posting it here.

In the past Harbinger issue, an opinion peace was printed about how sad a year it was for baseball in the Windy City. This piece may have been a prime example of why Chicago franchise fans are considered losers because nothing happened that was worth crying about.

The White Sox? Did anyone believe they were going to the playoffs before the season began? It was the Minnesota Twins and the Cleveland Indians who were predicted to win the American League Central by most of Sports Illustrated’s writers, and the prior season saw them go to a one game playoff for the Central Division championship. Southside fans should be proud that they at least got to see their pitcher Mark Buehrle throw a perfect game. The Pale Hose had a reason for all of baseball to pay attention to them beside the obscenity laced rants of their crazed manager Ozzie Guillen. Should that not be considered an accomplishment, to make people regret not spending a day at the wretched “Cell”?

As for the Cubbies, can their fans recall the last time they had three consecutive winning seasons?Since the last time the Cubs won the pennant in 1945, the longest stretch of winning seasons may have been six (1967-72), but they did not make a single post season appearance during that stretch. In the past three years, they had made the playoffs twice and had winning records in all of them.

Cubs fans can complain about Milton Bradley and his antics, but the Cubs did not suspend him for the season until after they were no longer contending for the National League Central Division’s crown. Why did they do that? Because he still produced enough for the Cubs to at one point stand on top of the standings during the season. As for Alfonso Soriano, he got hurt. This had happened the two previous years. Since superstition is part of being a Cubs fan, could they have contended if Soriano was not limping a third of the time?

It was not an easy summer for the fans of the Second City, but it tells us that the teams may have the tools to win the titles next year, so there is plenty to be hopeful about. If there is anything about Chicago sports to complain about, it would be their Winter teams.

The Bears ended up making the Lou Brock of NFL trades when they sent Kyle Orton over to Denver for loud-mouthed quarterback Jay Cutler. Bulls’ fans are optimistic because their team challenged the Boston Celtics in last year’s NBA playoffs as long as they ignore the fact that the Celtics were playing without, Kevin Garnett? Despite hockey icon Barry Melrose’s support, until the Blackhawks finally knock off their nemesis, The Detroit Redwings, should anyone have faith in them winning the NHL’s Western Conference let alone Lord Stanley’s Cup?

Put your hope behind teams who have proven they are for real. The White Sox had won the World Series in 2005, and this was the first time since in the last three years that the St. Louis Cardinals topped a winning Cubs team. Do not write these teams off for other sports to distract you. Get pumped for 2010. Buy your tickets to Wrigley and petition to tear down US Cellular Field. Next year may finally be the year.

10/13/11: Nothing horrific in the world to talk about, so let's talk about Dario Argento

Actually, there is a lot of horrific stuff going on in this world.

1. Topeka, KS legalizing domestic abuse for 24 hours.
2. Republicans blocking the jobs bill, and morons from Morton just blaming Obama.
3. WWE encouraging fans to cheer on the risk taking that led to a double murder suicide (let's not forget them "canning" the only commentator who showed respect to the women's division).

I guess being overworked at my job prevents me from getting to lunch on time, so I cannot keep up with the evening news. Too busy being pissed about anything beside the crappy work conditions.

The Man or Astroman concert may have left me in a sunnier disposition, and fortunately, Netflix expecting to be paid during the second pay period has made being broke a little easier to tolerate.

Of course, my cynical nature has also allowed me to realize the downside to $15.99 service. I've almost caught up with the entire Dario Argento library that came after his "Animal Trilogy." Maybe I'm a poor example of taste not seeing those films, but the Italian Horror Genre is so much more fun when the disturbing visuals straddle the border of being tasteless. It is now back to catching up on American directors since the Takashi Miike works that I haven't seen may be a bit much even for me.

Does anyone have any suggestions on directors that I haven't had enough exposure to? Aside from "The Following" and "The Illusionist," I'm caught up on Christopher Noland, and I acknowledge I got the DiCaprio/Scorsese collaborations to catch up on. What else am I missing?

In the mean time, to clear my head so that I may start working on the website for my screenplay "Main Event of the Dead" and restoring access to the original Harshside.com files, I've decided to write a quick run down of Argento's most recent films (sans "Masters of Horror" and the film he stiffed Adrian Brody on). Hopefully, this will expose some of the so called twisted movie fans to find their ideal introduction to the director.

• "Deep Red" (1975) - Any educated modern horror director has been inspired by this picture. It runs a little on the long side, but the death sequences make it worth the slow spots that are still beautifully captured on film.
• "Suspiria (the first of The Three Mother's Trilogy)" (1977) - This is the director's masterpiece. There is not much of a story, but it is supposed to be simplistic (a tribute to the Grimm Bros) which is further enhanced by the dependency on only using shades of green, blue, and red to light the film. Argento's approach to this film could not be captured again until color replacement technology came into existence at the beginning of the millennium. The film is also paced better, and delivers even more creative murders.
• "Inferno" (1980) - Argento's sequel to "Suspiria" is not an attempt to copy its predecessor. It could not be since the tricks to make "Suspiria" had become extinct. The film is heavily influence by the godfather of the Giallo genre Mario Bava, and Argento tries to build from that.  Another marvelously captured film, which is further admirable because the story is absolute chaos. If you thought there was little story in "Suspiria," "Inferno" makes it less important to justify more violence. This feature is fun, but not the art his prior two films presented us with.
• "Tenebre" (1982) - You have to see this movie from the beginning because this feature may offer the director's finest twist. It is a return the murder mysteries from the world of withcraft. A side from the awesome twist, the film feels like a streamlined version of "Deep Red." This maybe the ideal feature for fans of the realistic psychopath genre.
• "Phenomena" (1985) - This maybe Argento's most accessible film. The cast is lead by Jennifer Connelly and Donald Pleasance which indicates his most obvious attempt to make an "American feature." The story is fast paced and involves a magical twist which seemed essentials to make a profitable western feature in the mid 80's. Fortunately, these elements do not hinder this film and may feature his most satisfying finale. Add a truly metal soundtrack (featuring Iron Maiden and Motorhead), it is irresistible. A definite must see for any horror fan.

It's 1:45 am on payday, so I better leave this filmography to focus on surrendering my funds to the cable company. I should have mailed it in, but who knows, since adding the home phone they may have cut me a break. This leaves me wondering what the next multimedia device that Comcast will come up with to encourage us to add to our bill to temporarily lower my bill. All I care about it is whether or not it arrives in a year so I can capitalize on it.

90-Minute Netflix: Once Upon a Time in Venice...Bruno Was Way More Chilled

It is a rare night. I am actually considering calling for delivery. Sadly, all my favorite take out is wrestler hair greasy. Being a hotel front desk agent frowns on my clothes looking like I had just headlocked Bret Hart.

...

Hair and hunger do not mix. That seems like a great way to transition to a Bruce Willis straight-to-DVD feature, "Once Upon a Time in Venice" (beach).

Check out the rest of review at "Ninety For Chill: A More Acceptable Runtime"

teaser-trailer.com/

4/29/12: Facebook Should Be the Ultimate Bar, So Know the Rules

DO NOT TALK ABOUT RELIGION OR POLITICS ON FACEBOOK. 

It seems like the idiots I talk about say stupid, borderline hateful shit because they would be considered shunned if they said the hateful adjective that they want to scream out.

I really gotta get back to writing daily.  When the end of the month comes, there are so many twisted ideas that I haven't expressed, it is tough to determine which one gets a month dedicated to it.

There is no excuse for the lack of production.  Or at least, my acceptance of my fleeting existence.  Bukowski, Hemingway, and the greatest female writers thrived because of that.  When are Stephanie Meyer and J.K. Rowling going to off themselves to prove their witches and vampires aren't just fluff?

Then again, I'm not that great a writer.  I could blame that on living in Midwest for my entire life.  It just lacks the insanity of war or delivering mail in East Los Angeles to support a gambling addiction.  Guess I still have my sanity, suppose it's a bad thing.

At least sanity is ironic.  It is tough to keep one's sanity though when you go onto Facebook and see some of the uneducated, divisive shit people are willing to post

Here is where I need to make an apology.  Not for telling the truth about Peoria wrestling, but for a recent political debate I was involved in on the social network.  Actually, it was pretty civil and wise from all involved, but I don't think it should have occurred.  And, it is my fault that it did occur.

This will not happen again because I vow that I will get caffeinated immediately upon waking up and before checking Facebook.  At least after my legal stimulation, I have the sense to avoid political debates.  This is still a challenge though because so much of it is hateful and ignorant.  You cannot get angry at someone pissing on a public figure, that come with the job description.  But when someone demands that their view is right but they will not take the time to defend their stance...If they were not part of my potential audience, I shouldn't be their friend.

Of course the excuse for them is that people will only read 140 characters at a time and that reading is hard enough to begin with.

This spawns some jealousy towards Knight Wagner's Youtube series, "Knight Life."  He knows how to get his message across, but I don't like how.  My dislike solely comes from my love for the written word.  If you've got something interesting to say, it should be worth reading.

Messages do not need charisma.  Unless you are a politician.  Thus eight years of a racist, religious zealot backed by a fascist, whom I voted for twice (W).  With that being said, how about Wagner/Erin for the White House in 2024.  You can make Jordan McEntyre transportation secretary to appease the right wing and downstate Illinois morons.

I can use the term downstate morons because if I'm not drinking with them, a lot of my Facebook friends fit that description.  Buy me a round, and I may change my opinion.

Or stop telling me how jealous you are of the poor or of those who have liberated themselves from the evils of Christianity.  At least justify your anger WITH A BLOG.  Not by re-posting a JPEG of large text because for the sake of humanity, Facebook will not let you change font size.

Yes, there are a lot of stupid blogs out there, but a blog is strictly about one's own stupidity.  Is that really too much work?  If I want to know your opinion, I'll research it by visiting your page.  Don't wake me up to your bull shit.

Facebook is about people we still or at least at one time considered friends.  When you go to a bar and get reacquainted with these people, the last thing you want to do is say something to piss them off.  If you are an interesting enough person, there is no reason for politics or religion to enter a conversation.

So why the fuck do we forget about this when we go on Facebook?  If I wanted political diatribes from people I agree with, I accept their friend request.  Finding out that I need to get my four-ounce gloves to beat the douche bag out of an old friend is pretty depressing.

If we can keep ourselves civil when we are shitfaced, why can we not do it when we are sober behind a keyboard. With typing errors, it's not like we aren't sort of drunk using social media anyway.

9/16/11: Illinois Junkies and Smoking Orangutans of Polynesia.

A possible blessing at work. The lead on the weekends has put in their two weeks notice. Since I work weekdays until the demise of my current position, hopefully this will lead the higher ups to just give up handling the relatively slow weekends. There are only two other people who want to focus of those days, and I'm sure with the lack of other weekend positions, they'll either adjust, or wish us all the best of luck in our future purgatorial (and that is actually a word, thanks Firefox spell check) positions.

Just because I don't want to be an asshole, doesn't mean I cannot be a fan of the art. From a creative standpoint, you got to appreciate all philosophies to come up with the pro and the antagonist to make the work believable. The only problem with this is acknowledging that you do try to think like the scumbags for any reason. This is where I come off looking like a jerk damn near 100% of the time.

To the one who received their proper reward for partaking in the higher education system:

What about being a team player? The last kid who left on his own terms was relocating out of state with his parents which justifies leaving the sinking ship. Can't you let those junkies wait? I know White Oak does?

That is why I could never get rid of the addicts who ruined my credit. No beds to put them in. Bullshit reasoning. It isn't like they cared if they had a bed, at least from my experience. Hence why they allowed me, the caregiver, the mattress.

And now the practical aspect of the rant:

Makes me wonder why they never have enough beds. When one of said roommates had a truck load of furniture for our apartment, they had the guys from the meth lab on the floor below move it all in. Those felons did it in no time at all. I was not there when this all took place, but the lack of allergy medicine in the place leads me to believe the boys felt they were compensated properly for their work.

If meth heads built their own lodgings, there would be no reason for the addiction pandemic from coming to an end.

I know, that is not how addiction works. Actually, how it works is a mystery to me. All I know is that we cannot be judgmental of the addict. The greatest person I've met was an addict. Just don't let them fuck you over.

And don't fuck them over. I love how people constantly cheer on drug testing for welfare, but that is a crock of shit. You want them to quit doing drugs, make it so they can find away from it. Otherwise, they are just trying to survive, and making it tougher on them to survive makes you an asshole.

A lot of them are on welfare because they unfortunately felt they needed to turn to drugs. A lot of the time it is because of pricks capitalizing on them. They are shit on to begin with, and by saying they need to take a piss test for their house, you are only shitting on them further.

Look at it this way, I don't know of any realtors who make their potential clients take a drug test before signing a mortgage. If they did, rappers and rockers would not own any property. From the opinion that you should not be encouraged to make over a million dollars, that may not be a bad thing discouraging the frivolous purchases. Still if the private sector won't judge, why should they expect the government to charge.

Despite being bankrupt by addiction (I only wish it was my own), I'm still pretty lenient against the persecution of addicts. Guess I've seen the whole array of them, worst to best. As Harshside.com's blog description states, this page is about being against oppression...period.

Which is why I'm totally opposed to expecting orangutans in Indonesia and Malaysia to quit smoking. The little buggers are in a prison for Christ sake. Fucking kill the militants and farmers who have ruined their habitats to give them a place where they won't have to take up what the zoo visitors offers to give them a nicotine fix.

Best case scenario, less monkeys to fight off when James Franco fucks up this world by giving them super brains.

Of course, we may be too late to stop the super intelligent primate. Monkeys are the species considered responsible for AIDS. They are the innovators of postmodern germ warfare. That's why they hurl their shit.

9/15/09: Opinions of the Twits. Kanye, Obama, Alyssa

If you look through all the blogs I've posted here, or looked at the label list on this blog, you maybe surprised that I follow actresses on Twitter.

It's easy to understand why I follow screenwriters since that is an ambition of mine, and musicians since this is probably the best way to promote themselves. I say that it's the best way to promote themselves because I could really care less about their blogs and multimedia. Just tell me how many hours I have to drive to get to your show, and I'll be happy.

Otherwise I follow comedians since they know they are expected to write something funny with each tweet. It is a chance for me to appreciate their genius, but it is probably through their output that I started to follow the feeds of celebrities.

Robot Chicken has always had support from the celebrities that they parody, so when they recommend following Rachel Leigh Cook, I decided it couldn't hurt. She actually had an insightful quote once, so I thought it was a worthwhile decision to follow her. Since it is difficult to find people to follow, I went through her following list and picked the Charmed chicks out. Alyssa Milano was known for her baseball insight, and Rose McGowan...after Grindhouse failed to revive her career, I was curious how she is getting along.

Needless to say, you get a lot of self-righteous garbage spouted by these girls. They are pretty good about not tweeting to make the "Twitter Tracker" segments of The Tonight Show, but they seemingly feel their opinions are more important than everyone else. The problem with this is they only get 140 characters, so they do not explain their opinion. It leaves their followers to think that because they say it, it must be right.

Alyssa Milano Stupid Tweet:

Ummm... Obama called Kanye a jackass because... Kanye is actually a jackass. No big whoop.10:55 PM Sep 14th from Tweetie

Can we really support celebrities placing vocal pauses in tweets? Teachers say it it good for writers because they have to be concise. Then again, in her 20+years as an actress, she has never had the ambition to create her own projects. This kind of takes some validity from the case that she is worthwhile. I like her baseball knowledge, but does she really know jackasses, like those in the modern country music industry?

I'm sorry, maybe I am a douche bag, but when hip hop's premier talent decides to call BS on a lesser performer in a lesser industry, I'll stand by him. If he would have done it on the red carpet after the show, it would just make VH1 celebrity feuds. He made a statement and perhaps maimed his credibility to do so. Personally, after the "You Lie" at the joint session of Congress stunt, I'm kind of disappointed that the President didn't tell Biden to clean Wilson's clock.

I guess I'm just all about consequence to stupid actions. Taylor Swift, brutal one so no one tries to do them again. If Taylor Swift would have kicked Kanye West in the nether regions for what he did, the only stupid people left unpunished would be the programmers at MTV.

The good thing about this tweet is that it at least let me come up with a clever one:

@Alyssa_Milano Obama is also a White Sox fan. Great President, but shitty judge of Chicago's talent.